


By Popular Demand

by damianwayne



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drinking, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Flirting, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Occassional smut, Slow Burn, i am the mother of the iwaten ship it kinda just happened, the cliched same college ushioi fic, they're both idiots for a long time but its ok bc theres also a lot of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:40:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 100,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7149392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damianwayne/pseuds/damianwayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Oikawa starts college, he thinks he's prepared for everything. However, he isn't prepared to play on the same volleyball team as his rival, Ushijima. And especially not to share his dorm with said rival. However, they slowly get closer to each other and maybe, just maybe, there's a chance for them to become friends. Or more than just friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let me tell you one time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made[ this textpost](http://redrobin.co.vu/post/145500053854/all-i-want-is-a-multi-chaptered-50k-ushioi-same) a few days ago:  
> "all i want is a multi chaptered 50k+ ushioi same college AU fic with the enemies to friends to lovers trope and mutual pining , is that too much to ask for"  
> and bc nobody delivers, i am going to. prepare for slow burn and (mutual) pining. ive already written 22k and i cant stop

Oikawa always imagined his first day in Tokyo would be hard.

He would be all alone, his family wouldn’t be here and neither would Iwaizumi, his best friend, who he never could’ve imagined to live without. He thought he might get lost or get a weird roommate. It turned out to be worse than this.

It all started out well. He walked around with his suitcase in one hand and his phone in the other. He got curious looks from some girls around him and he smiled back at them. Oikawa was used to this, he knew he looked good and that most girls were weak to his looks. Even after he just traveled hours all the way to Tokyo and was exhausted and just wanted to shower and rest.

He didn’t even feel great. He was sweating under his shirt and his hair was a mess, and yet those girls still thought he was good looking. It must be his face. He finally found the dorms he was looking for and asked around to find his room.

Prepare for the worst, he tells himself. Behind that door could be your best friend for the next few years, someone you’ll barely talk to or your worst enemy. Oikawa didn’t _really_ think at that point, that behind that door there really _would_ be his worst enemy. He knocks, because he’s polite and his roommate might be in an indecent position, so he waits for a response.

Then, the door fals open and Oikawa widens his eyes.

In front of him really is his worst enemy. Nobody else but Ushijima Wakatoshi.

“What are _you_ doing here?!” Oikawa shouts.

“This is my room,” Ushijima replies. He seems to be surprised to see him too, leaning onto the door.

“No, this is- this is _my_ room,” Oikawa repeats. He holds up a letter in which it was all written down and points at it. “See, Ushiwaka? This is my room.”

Ushijima just looks at the letter Oikawa was holding up and replies: “There are two beds.”

Oikawa can’t believe this was happening. He can’t share his room with Ushijima out of all people! Everyone but him.

“No, this can’t be right,” he whispers. “Why are you here?”

“I’m going to this university. It seems like we’re going to the same one, then,” Ushijima says and walks inside the room again, letting Oikawa in.

“No. Ushiwaka, don’t act all so surprised! You planned this, didn’t you? You knew I was going here too. What are the chances we both go to Tokyo, to the same university and end up in the same dorm and are roommates? Zero.” Oikawa carries his suitcase in. “This can’t just be coincidence. And it sure as hell isn’t _fate_!”

This was a cruel joke, that’s all there is to it. It would’ve been awful enough for them to go to the same college, but did they have to end up in the same room too? Oikawa drops into one of the beds.

“This is my bed,” Ushijima says.

“What? Why? Is your name here anywhere?”

Ushijima doesn’t reply and sighs. “I’ll take the other bed then.” He takes some of the clothes he has folded neatly and put on the bed and puts them on the other across the room. 

Oikawa still can’t believe it. He has to share his room with this idiot. With his _rival_. He doesn’t even remember a time when he hasn’t hated this guy’s guts. Ushijima, who always won against them- _Wait_.

“Does this mean we’re going to be on the same volleyball team?!”

Ushijima nods. “Seems like it.”

_No, god, please, let this just be a dream_ , Oikawa silently begs. He knows better. This was real and it’s like a nightmare come true.

“You must be really happy then, huh? You always wanted me to play for your team.” Oikawa tries not to sound too bitter, tries to hide it, even though he doesn’t have to. 

“Yes,” Ushijima just replies. “I’m glad you’re going to be my setter now.”

Oikawa snaps. “I’m not _your_ setter! We might be on the same team, but this doesn’t make me your setter. And that was sarcasm, don’t you understand what that is, Ushiwaka? To be honest, I’m not surprised.” He opens his suitcase and pulls out some stuff.

“I’m going to go shower,” he says before leaving the room.

They have communal showers with little to no privacy and it pisses Oikawa even more off. He knew this was going to happen and he probably wouldn’t be this angry, if he wouldn’t have just found out he had to live with Ushijima out of all people. 

They were going to live together! Their beds were only a few feet apart and the room was so small!

He tries to calm down under the hot stream and closes his eyes.

_Relax, Oikawa, you can do this_.

Okay, living with him doesn’t have to be too much of a problem. Just don’t talk to him. Ignore him. He could also just never go home except for sleeping. He should just be out all the time, study in the library and hang out with new friends. He doubts he’ll have problems with making new friends.

Yeah, this is a problem he can ignore, even if it was a really _big_ problem. He could also try and ask if he could get a room change.

The second problem was the volleyball team. They were going to be on the god damn same team! He doesn’t want to play with Ushijima. He had told himself he wanted to defeat his rival at least _once_ in his life. Oikawa has never been able to defeat him in a game, has always longed for the feeling to be superior to him, just once. 

And then Karasuno won against them and robbed Oikawa of the last chance he ever had to win against Shiratorizawa. But his hatred isn’t just towards the team. No, it’s mostly towards Ushijima. Oikawa has thought he might meet him again in college and then they’d have another match against each other and then this time, _this time_ he would be able to win.

And now Ushijima even stole this away from him. No, instead he had to end up in the same college as Oikawa. How is he supposed to solve this big problem? There is no way round, he doubts the team would just kick Ushijima out, he was one of Japan’s top three aces.

God damn it, if Oikawa wants to continue to be a setter, he has to play with Ushijima.

He _refuses_. He can’t do this. 

When he finishes his shower and cleans up and gets dressed, he walks back to his room, but only reluctantly. He doesn’t want to go back, doesn’t want to see Ushijima and really hopes that he doesn’t talk to him. Oikawa is glad Ushijima isn’t the most talkative person, because Oikawa’s sure he would’ve strangled him already if he was.

He takes out his phone and dials Iwaizume’s number, who picks up after three rings.

“What is it?”

“Iwa-chaaan,” Oikawa cries into the phone.

“What happened?”

“I… I got into the dorms and you won’t guess who’s my roommate!”

Iwaizumi doesn’t reply. “I can’t. Who is it?”

“It’s Ushiwaka! I hate this! It’s my first day and it’s already the worst day of my life!” Oikawa complains and Iwaizumi doesn’t reply again. “Iwa-chan? Are you there?”

“Yeah, I just… I can’t believe you ended up in a room with _Ushiwaka_ out of all people.” His best friend laughs. “This means you’re on the same volleyball team.”

“I know! I know it does and you know what Ushiwaka said when I mentioned it? He’s glad! He’s glad I’m _his_ setter now. Can you believe that he actually said that? I’m not his setter, who does he think he is?!” 

“That sucks,” Iwaizumi says. “I feel bad for you.”

Oikawa sniffs. “I wish you were my roommate, Iwa-chan. I can’t live without you here! I’m not going to be able to survive college, you have to come here and rescue me from this idiot!”

“Shut up, Trashykawa. You can do this.”

“Are you trying to supportive or rude?” Oikawa asks.

Iwaizumi scoffs. “Choose.”

They talk a little bit more and Oikawa asks him about his roommate, who apparently is a cool guy and Oikawa is jealous because Iwaizumi doesn’t seem to need him as Oikawa needs him. When he hangs up and goes back to his room, he doesn’t talk with Ushijima and tries to ignore him as well as he can, which would be easier, if Ushijima wouldn’t be so goddamn _big_.

At least he doesn’t snore or talk in his sleep, Oikawa later finds out.

* * *

  


When Oikawa enters the gym, Ushijima is already there too.

Apart from him, there are also two other guys, who seem to be a little bit too excited about this place and Ushijima. “Oho ho?” One of the guys grins, practically jumping towards Ushijima. “So, you’re the Super Ace, huh? I’m Bokuto. I’m the fourth best ace of Japan.”

“Fourth best,” the other guy teases. He’s tall and has dark messy hair and his bangs are falling into his right eye. 

“I’m Ushijima,” Ushijima says, nodding. 

“We heard a lot about you,” the black haired guy says and then turns to Oikawa. “You must be Oikawa Tooru? Heard much about you too.”

“Oh yeah! You’re also from Miyagi right?” Bokuto asks. 

“Yes, glad to know you know who I am. But don’t you bother with Ushiwaka.”

“Ushiwaka?” The taller guy asks, raising one of his eyebrows. “I like it.”

“Don’t call me that,” Ushijima just says and Oikawa rolls his eyes.

“Seems like we’re the new players for this university’s volleyball team. I’m Kuroo by the way.” 

“You know each other?” Oikawa asks, because judging from how they act around each other, it seems like they were good friends.

“Yes.” The two of them high five each other. “We’re best buddies!” Bokuto puts his hands on his hips. “I was the captain of Fukurodani and Wing Spiker! Just like you!” Bokuto claps on Ushijima’s back.

“Captain of Nekoma,” Kuroo introduces himself and points at his chest. “Middle Blocker.”

“What a coincidence, this makes all four of us former captains,” Oikawa says. “I’m a setter.”

Bokuto grins. “This is going to be great! We’re going to make a good team, with two super aces! And finally I’m with my boy, Kuroo, on the same team!” He laughs and the two of them goof off.

“You wanted to be on the same team?” Oikawa asks.

“We always played each other in High School, but we both wanted to go to the same university. We’re even roomies,” Kuroo explains and Oikawa sighs. He wishes he would have this too. Be on the same university and team like Iwaizumi and be his roommate.

“Well, sadly I am stuck with this big guy here,” Oikawa says. He glares at Ushijima, who wants to say something, but they’re interrupted by some other students who enter the gym. They turn out to be freshmen who want to join the volleyball team too. 

They’re later introduced to the captain and coach of the team and play one friendly game only with the freshmen together, so their coach knows what he’s getting into with the new students. Oikawa is glad he doesn’t have to play on the same team as Ushijima, when they divide them into two groups of three people.

He isn’t glad, however, that he again loses against him.

At least Bokuto and Kuroo don’t seem too bad. Yeah, they are kind of obnoxiously loud, but Oikawa is used to this. He wants to make friends quickly and he needs to be friends with the people on his team anyway in order for them to all work together nicely.

Except for Ushijima. Oikawa doesn’t plan on ever being friends with that guy. 

When they both get out of the showers and lockerroom, and walk in the same direction, Oikawa stops.

“What?” Ushijima asks.

“Are you… are we walking back together?” 

“Yes. We’re heading to the same place,” Ushijima just replies.

“I’m not going back with _you_ ,” Oikawa hisses. He knows it’s childish, but he can’t help it. This was his rival for years! Just a few days can’t just change the fact that he hates him more than anyone.

“You can go another way,” Ushijima suggests. “But this is the shortest.”

“Ugh. Fine.” Oikawa is pouting and Ushijima seems to be actually _amused_ by that. “To be clear, we’re not friends and are never going to be friends, even if we’re roommates and on the same team.”

Ushijima doesn’t reply, so Oikawa just goes on. “And I’m sorry to disappoint, just because I’m the setter, doesn’t mean I’m _your_ setter. I’m sure even someone like you can understand that, right Ushiwaka?”

Ushijima sighs. “If this is how you want to deal with our situation, then fine. But if your feelings towards me are getting in the way of-”

“My _feelings_ towards you?” Oikawa chuckles. “Please, Ushiwaka, don’t make me laugh. Let’s just leave this here. I’m not in the mood to argue with you and let you patronize me.”

“I’m not-”

Oikawa raises an eyebrow and Ushijima sighs again. “Okay.”

“Good.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like to ramble in the notes a lot. im sorry.  
> 1\. anyway, the reason why i was so reluctant abt writing them bc i think id get them really ooc, so ... i apologize in advance  
> 2\. i wanted to have kuroo and bokuto 2gether on the same college team so they can be cool bros  
> 3\. i wanted to add daishou too, so kuroo has to deal with his enemy too but then i thought maybe thats too much and i let my boy live and daishou can stay his "rival",,, however mika chan is going to play a big part in this fic bc i love her  
> 4\. im not a native english speaker so yeah sry  
> 5\. hmu @ my tumblr [aegontargaryen.tumblr.com](redrobin.co.vu)
> 
> i promise the notes in the later chapters will be shorter lmao


	2. My body stays vicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh my god, Ushiwaka!” Oikawa shouts. “So you are capable of human emotions. Are you sure it was a crush? Maybe you mistook it for something else.”
> 
> “Ssh, Oikawa, leave him,” Bokuto says. “Ushijima, who is it? Do we know them? Do you have a girlfriend? Well, you are kind of popular with the ladies, I’m not surprised.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is a college au..,, without them getting drunk

Their senpais throw the new members from the volleyball team a welcome party at the captain’s flat. He’s sharing it with two of his fellow teammates and his girlfriend apparently. She’s not here over the weekend, so they have the entire apartment all for themselves. It’s big, but considering how many people they were, it isn’t really that big.

The university volleyball team is significantly bigger than Seijou’s was, which is understandable, since the university is also much bigger than their High School.

The first week at college wasn’t as bad as Oikawa has thought. After he found out he was in the same college with Ushijima and had to share his room with him, he thought this was going to be hell on earth. It was actually nice, he avoided Ushijima and didn’t really talk with him, not even during practice. They don’t have many classes together either, which was also a plus.

He got to know so many new people and while Oikawa still misses his hometown, his friends and especially Iwaizumi, he slowly thinks he can handle this. He hangs out mostly with Bokuto and Kuroo though, and their new manager, Mika. She’s a cute girl and for some reasons Bokuto and Kuroo have taken her under their wing. Oikawa had at first felt bad for that girl, but she seems to like them.

The bad thing about hanging out with Bokuto and Kuroo? They also have made it their personal mission to include Ushijima in everything. As if they don’t know Oikawa hates him! So this is why they were all in the kitchen now, the five of them. Their other teammates are mostly in the living room or hanging out somewhere else. The kitchen, however has all the booze and they are all too lazy to always come back here to get a new cup.

Bokuto is convinced he makes the best drinks of the entire team and mixes all their drinks for them, telling everyone he’s their bartender for the night, while Kuroo taste tests them and shouts at him.

The night would be great, Oikawa thinks, if it wouldn’t be for Ushijima sitting next to him who hasn’t drank more than one cup the entire night.

“Okay,” Bokuto shouts, “let’s play a drinking game.”

“Oh hoh ho?” Kuroo grins. “Which game?”

Mika claps in her hands. “Never have I ever!” She seems like such a cute girl at first, but she’s quite a whirlwind. She smiles brightly at the other four guys.

“Okay, I have nothing to hide,” Oikawa says and then grins. “But I bet Ushiwaka will stay sober for the night.”

“It’s not like he’s drinking anyway,” Bokuto says and Oikawa laughs.

“True. Okay, I’ll start. Never have I ever done a strip tease in front of my entire team,” Kuroo starts.

“Shut up, that was _once_!” Bokuto defends himself. “And it was a bet!”

“It wasn’t a bet! It was a dare and it was a joke and yet you did it,” Kuroo reminds him.

“You threw money at me.”

“It was a nice show.” Kuroo shrugs and Bokuto grins.

“Aw, bro, thanks.” He pours himself a vodka shot and downs it. “God, this is disgusting.” He quickly drinks some orange juice afterwards. “Wait, I’m the only one?”

“I never would do something like that,” Mika says.

“And neither would I. I’m classy, Bokuto-san,” Oikawa says and Kuroo scoffs.

“I would’ve thought you’d drink too.”

“I’m wounded!” Oikawa hopes neither of those two ever gets the idea to call him stupid names like ‘Trashykawa’.

“Okay, my turn.” Bokuto hums, one finger on his chin. “Mh, never have I ever broken up with someone.”

Everyone but Ushijima takes one of the shots Bokuto is handing out to them. He probably has never even dated someone. He might even be a unkissed, Oikawa thinks.

“God, it was Daishou, right?” Kuroo asks Mika.

“Yeah,” she replies, blushing. “If that counts. We got together right after it again.”

“You have a boyfriend?” Oikawa is confused.

“Oh god, Oikawa-kun,” Bokuto shouts, “get on board with the news already! It’s what Kuroo talks about all the time!”

“He hates my boyfriend,” Mika explains, giggling.

“Yeah, we’re rivals. We’re basically you and Ushijima, with the exception Daishou’s a bigger pain in the ass, I actually managed to win against him _and_ I didn’t end up in the same college as him.”

Oikawa pouts. “You’re making me feel bad that I ended up worse than you.”

“He plays volleyball?” Ushijima asks, as if it’s the only thing he’s even interested about.

“Yes, he was the captain of Nohebi! It’s actually the reason why I applied to become a manager,” Mika confesses. “I broke up with him because he always put volleyball before me, but when I saw him play against Nekoma… I understood how important it is to him. So I thought I should give it a try. He’s not exactly happy I’m the manager of his rival, though.”

Kuroo grins and throws his arm around Mika. “I am! I’m gonna rub it under Daishou’s nose the next time I meet him how close Mika-chan and I are. We’re super best friends.”

“What about me?” Bokuto asks and Kuroo throws his other arm around him.

“You’re my super best bro.”

Oikawa raises his eyebrows. Those two were idiots, but they fit each other. “Something else I should know?”

“Yeah, Bokuto has a boyfriend,” Kuroo says.

“You’re gay?” Mika asks and Bokuto grins. 

“Actually bi! Do you want to see a picture of him? He’s really pretty.” He shows her his phone proudly and Oikawa wishes he could be like him. He is a really confident person, but not many people know he is gay and he doesn’t show it as openly as Bokuto. Maybe it’s because Oikawa doesn’t have a boyfriend, maybe that would change then.

“He is really pretty,” Mika agrees. “What’s his name?”

Bokuto shows Ushijima and Oikawa his phone screen too. “Akaashi Keiji, he’s now the captain of Fukurodani.” He gushes a little bit more about his amazing boyfriend, while the others just keep on drinking, except for Ushijima.

“Oh, it’s my turn, right? Mh, never have I ever had a crush,” Oikawa says.

“Never?” Kuroo asks.

“No. A lot of people had crushes on me, though.” He grins.

“Really? How could you go eighteen years of your life without a crush?” Bokuto asks while he pours them all shots again.

“It’s pretty easy, actually.” Nobody has interested him and then they all drink, except for Oikawa. All of them, even Ushijima.

“Oh my god, Ushiwaka!” Oikawa shouts. “So you are capable of human emotions. Are you _sure_ it was a crush? Maybe you mistook it for something else.”

“Ssh, Oikawa, leave him,” Bokuto says. “Ushijima, who is it? Do we know them? Do you have a girlfriend? Well, you are kind of popular with the ladies, I’m not surprised.”

Oikawa gasps. “Who would want to date _him_?”

“Many people actually,” Mika chirps. “My friends think he’s hot.” She blushes. “I mean, because he’s so tall and big… And, you know. Which isn’t my type. Not that you’re not attractive, Ushijima-kun!”

Ushijima smiles at her and did he have a fucking _dimple_?! Oikawa can’t deal with this and he downs his cup. “Give me something else. And make it sweet. Wait, no. Kuroo-san, you better do it. Bokuto’s mixes are gross.”

“Hey!”

Kuroo laughs proudly and mixes something for Oikawa. They forget about the question and don’t ask Ushijima any more about his super secret crush. They play a little bit more and Oikawa, Bokuto and Kuroo have to drink constantly. Ushijima stays sober for most of the time, Mika is at one point dragged outside by one of the other managers. 

Oikawa gets pretty drunk at some point, sitting next to Ushijima and still with one drink in his hand. Bokuto and Kuroo are currently having a dance off and Oikawa would join them, but when he got up earlier to go to the restroom, he couldn’t even go straight. Also, he doesn’t want to embarrass himself like Bokuto and Kuroo, so he stays here.

“You know,” Oikawa says, “I should just go. Sit up and go away. Then you’d be all alone at this party.”

“Do you want to leave?” Ushijima asks.

“Of course, Ushiwaka! Do you think I enjoy sitting next to you?” Oikawa’s words become a blur, he’s surprised Ushijima can even understand him.

“You could just leave,” Ushijima suggests and for some reason, this statement offends Oikawa. It’s most likely because he was just really drunk, or it was because this was Ushijima. Oikawa narrows his eyes and leans forward.

“I’m not that rude, Ushiwaka, we’re teammates now, I can’t just leave you here. Am I not the nicest person ever? The opposite of you, you’re always so _rude_. You probably laughed about the fact that we ended up here together!”

“Why would I laugh?”

Oikawa laughs and throws his head back. “Why? Oh, I don’t know, because you like mocking me! You always wanted me on your team and now you have it. I can’t defeat you anymore!” He pokes with his index finger against Ushijima’s chest. It was a really nice chest.

“Let me tell you one thing, Ushiwaka, I might not be able to defeat you in our college days, but I will. I swear to god, one day I will. I don’t know how, but this isn’t how it’s going to end. I’m not giving up! I’m no quitter!”

Ushijima _smiles_. He smiles! This was the second time this night, Oikawa thinks something is wrong. Ushijima just gently puts Oikawa’s hand away, who quickly pulls it back and wriggles his hand.

“Ew, don’t get your germs on me!”

“Now you’re just being childish,” Ushijima says. “You should stop drinking. You’re drunk.”

“No shit,” Oikawa murmurs. “This is a party. You’re supposed to enjoy yourself at a party! Have you never been on one?”

“If you’re supposed to enjoy yourself, why are you here with me, your rival?” 

“I- I’m not- Shut up! I am going to enjoy myself, I’m gonna go and dance, because I can, unlike you, who has probably two left feet! Or should I say right feet?” Oikawa gets up from his seat, but the next thing he does is trip and fall against Ushijima, who quickly helps him up. He got up from his seat too to prevent Oikawa from falling.

“You alright?”

Oikawa stares at him and then wriggles himself out of Ushijima’s touch. “Ushiwaka, you pervert, don’t touch me like that! I know you probably want a piece of me, but-” He feels like he’s about to throw up and Ushijima seems to notice his sudden mood change too. He takes Oikawa’s hand and drags him with him to the bathroom.

Oikawa would protest, but he feels like his stomach is going to kill him and when they arrive, he stumbles forward the toilet and throws up. “I hate this,” he cries. “I’m throwing up in front of my worst enemy, this is degrading. Go away, Ushiwaka, I don’t want you to see me like this!”

He never would’ve thought Ushijima would really go away. “Okay,” the other man says and leaves. Oikawa gets up, takes a deep breath and flushes the toilet. He feels horrible and just wants to sleep. He goes over to the sink and washes his face and rinses his mouth, when Ushijima comes back.

“Didn’t I tell you to go away?”

“You should drink water.” Ushijima puts a glass of water in his hand and Oikawa eyes it suspiciously.

“Did you poison it?”

“Why would I-”

“Just a joke! Can’t you get a joke?” Oikawa downs the glass of water and sighs. “I’m so tired.”

“We should get back to the dorms,” Ushijima says and Oikawa falls into his arms.

“Carry me,” he whines.

“Oikawa-”

“You can totally do it. You’re big enough.” His vision is getting blurry and Oikawa just closes his eyes because this was all too much for him.

“Wait here. I’m going to tell the others we’re going back.” Ushijima helps him to sit down on top of the toilet lid and leaves again. Oikawa doesn’t even reply, he just nods and leans back. He could just fall asleep here…

The next thing he notices is someone gently patting his cheek. Oikawa slowly opens his eyes to see Ushijima standing there with Oikawa’s jacket in his hand. “You should put it on.”

“No, it’s way too hot!”

“It isn’t outside.”

Oikawa shakes his head and refuses. He runs away from Ushijima. But he’s really slow, so it couldn’t be counted as running, which is why Ushijima catches him quickly and gets him into the jacket.

“You’re so mean, you’re making me sweat in this jacket, I hate you,” Oikawa complains.

Ushijima sighs and then turns to someone. “We’ll be going then. Thank you for your hospitality.”

“Oh, waaaait!” Kuroo shouts at them. “Here’s a water bottle. Make him drink it on his way home.” He puts the water bottle in Ushijima’s hand, who thanks him. Oikawa smiles at him and hugs Kuroo.

“Can’t _you_ bring me home? I don’t wanna go with this big meanie. Pretty please?”

Kuroo laughs and hugs him back. “Nah, sorry, but I’m staying here. The party is far from over!”

“Kuroo, get your ass back in here! They’re playing our song!” Bokuto shouts from the living room.

“Bye! Have fun you two!” Kuroo lets him go and leaves and Oikawa is left alone with Ushijima.

“Are we walking home?” Oikawa asks and Ushijima shakes his head.

“I called a cab,” he says, as they leave the apartment. The air outside is fresh and cold and Oikawa closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He stretches out his arm and wiggles his hand in front of Ushijima’s face.

“Water.”

Ushijima puts the bottle in Oikawa’s hand, who opens it and takes a few sips. “Cabs are so expensive,” Oikawa states. “We should just walk!”

“You can’t even walk straight for ten feet,” Ushijima replies and Oikawa gasps.

“I can! Watch me!” He tries to walk towards Ushijima in a straight line, but fails and stumbles towards him. “Okay, but you could just carry me.”

“You don’t want me to touch you, remember?”

“Oh, Ushiwaka, do you think I’m a child? I’m not that childish.” Oikawa laughs, but before Ushijima can reply, the cab stops in front of them. 

Oikawa doesn’t remember the drive back or anything else that happens afterwards, it all happens in a blur, but somehow, he gets safe home in his bed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love mika chan  
> btw since ive written like 37k for this fic already, the updates will probably come every day


	3. Have come to fail now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you took off my shoes last night?”
> 
> Ushijima seems to be flustered about this question and nods. “Yes.”
> 
> “You’re such a pervert,” Oikawa murmurs, not sure how exactly that makes him a pervert.

When Oikawa wakes up the next day, his head hurts like hell. He opens his eyes and everything’s so fucking _bright,_ it’s disgusting. He groans and closes his eyes again, buries his head in the pillow. What’s worse is the disgusting taste in his mouth because he threw up the night before, and he just overall feels awful. 

He’s never going to drink, ever again, he promises himself.

“Are you awake?” Ushijima asks. Oikawa screams into his pillow. No, this day could only get worse. He has a hangover and now has to listen to his rival asking him if he was okay. No, he was not okay!

“Go away, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa says, “I don’t want you here. You’re making my hangover worse.”

“You should eat.”

“Do you think I could keep anything in my stomach?” Oikawa turns and looks up to Ushijima, who looks completely the opposite of how Oikawa felt. He is freshly showered, has clean clothes and looks freshened up. Oikawa on the other hand is still wearing his clothes from last night and is feeling horrible. He can’t believe Ushijima got to see him like this. Nobody else has ever seen him look this awful, except for his family and Iwaizumi.

This is degrading. As if Ushijima doesn’t already look down on him. 

“I suppose not,” Ushijima says. “Do you want water?”

“I don’t need your pity, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa says. He sits up and well, he _does_ want water. “Okay, get me water.”

Ushijima hands him over an unclosed water bottle that is sitting on top of Ushijima’s bedside table and Oikawa takes big sips. “How did we get back home?” he asks.

“With a cab. I had to carry you to your bed.”

Oikawa blushes. He hates this. He hates the fact that it had been Ushijima out of all people who saw him like this and took care of him. _Everyone_ else would’ve been better. Why the hell did they have to end up in the same room again? 

Oikawa remembers the things he has said yesterday and buries his face in his hands. “Don’t look at me.”

“Why?”

“I’m a mess! Nobody would want their rival to see them like this. Please, go away.”

Ushijima sighs. “I have painkillers,” he says and Oikawa peaks between his fingers.

“Okay, I want them and _then_ you should go away.” After he takes one and drinks more water, Oikawa lays down on his bed again.

“Did you took off my shoes last night?”

Ushijima seems to be flustered about this question and nods. “Yes.”

“You’re such a pervert,” Oikawa murmurs, not sure how exactly that makes him a pervert. He still has some alcohol in his body, that was probably why he was talking nonsense. “You’ll forget last night ever happened. We’re never going to talk about it again! And now go!”

“Okay. Get better soon.” Ushijima sighs and walks out of the room.

Maybe Oikawa should thank him and in normal circumstances, he would’ve. But he’s not going to thank _Ushijima_. No way in hell will he ever do that.

* * *

  


It’s 6pm, when Oikawa finally is showered and his head doesn’t ache anymore. He goes for dinner with Bokuto, Kuroo, Mika and another girl he doesn’t recognize.

“There he is!” Bokuto shouts, when Oikawa arrives. “You look horrible.”

“Excuse me,” Oikawa snaps back. “I do not look horrible. I showered!”

“You look better than last night, that’s for sure,” Kuroo agrees. “But you’re so pale.”

“I haven’t eaten all day.” Oikawa turns to the girl he doesn’t know. “I’m sorry for being so rude and not introducing myself. I’m-”

“Oikawa Tooru, I know,” the girl answers, smiling. She’s cute, wears her brown hair in a bob and has big brown eyes. “I’m Misaki Hana. You don’t know how surprised I was to find out both you and Ushijima-kun are here too.”

“You’re from Miyagi?” Oikawa asks her surprised.

“Yes. I was the manager of Johzenji’s volleyball team actually.” 

Mika nods. “I met her today. Isn’t this cool?”

“Mika-chan’s just happy she’s not the only girl here anymore,” Kuroo says. 

“Why aren’t you the manager of the volleyball team here?” Oikawa asks, while he starts eating his food. God, he was so hungry, but this tastes worse than usual.

“Oh, have you _seen_ Johzenji? They were a bunch of kids, especially the second years. Well, third years now.” Of course Oikawa knows them, they’ve played against them a couple of times. He also knows of their reputation as the party team. “I needed a break from them! I loved those guys, but they were so _exhausting_. So I thought, I should try something else. I’m the manager of the girls volleyball team now. But…”

“It’s not what you thought it would be?” Bokuto asks, grinning.

“Yeah. They’re better than my old team, but they’re all just really… energetic too.” Misaki sighs. “I guess that’s a volleyball thing.”

Kuroo laughs and they talk a little bit more, until Mika asks: “Where’s Ushiwaka?”

“Who knows? I haven’t seen him all day and to be frank, I don’t want to,” Oikawa replies. 

“You should thank him,” Bokuto says, his mouth stuffed with food. “He was really nice last night.”

“Oh god, no. Never.” Oikawa shakes his head. Hell would freeze over before he’d thank Ushijima.

“He was really considerate,” Mika agrees. “He’s really nice.”

“Yeah, like he brought you to the bathroom and then he put on your jacket for you, while you were trying to fight him,” Kuroo says.

“Imagine this being Daishou,” Oikawa replies. “Would _you_ thank him?”

Kuroo scoffs. “No, because Daishou would never be this nice.”

“This is still my boyfriend you’re talking about,” Mika reminds him and Misaki asks: “Did I miss something?”

“Oh, last night Oikawa-”

“Bokuto, no. Don’t tell her!” He turns to Misaki and smiles at her with the usual Oikawa smile that wins usually all girls’ hearts over. “Don’t listen to him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about, Misaki-chan.”

“You can’t fool me, Oikawa, I was the manager of the worst team for three years, I’m used to every kind of bullshit.”

Oikawa sulks and Bokuto tells her the embarrassing story of how Oikawa got wasted last night and had to be brought home by his worst enemy. Misaki just laughs. “Wait, you and Ushijima are sharing your room? This is the best story I’ve heard all day.”

“Thank you for enjoying my pain, Misaki-chan! We just met and you’re being so mean already!” Oikawa just eats more. 

* * *

  


“Iwa-chan, I can’t deal with this, I can’t live with him anymore,” Oikawa whines.

“Oi, Trashykawa, that’s kind of your own fault,” Iwaizumi says on the other line.

“You’re so mean, why’s everyone so mean? I just want _one_ person to feel my pain and be nice! Even this girl I met for the first time today made fun of my suffering,” Oikawa complains.

“They all see right through you, I’m not surprised.”

“I miss you, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says. “If you were here, you would’ve been the one to bring me home last night! And then I wouldn’t have embarrassed myself in front of Ushiwaka!”

“No, I wouldn’t have dragged your ass home,” Iwaizumi says, but they both know that he would’ve. “Just drink less next time.”

“There’s not going to be a next time!” He can’t risk this ever happening again.

Iwaizumi scoffs. “Yeah, sure.”

“I’m gonna hang up,” Oikawa says. “Talk to you later.” He hangs up and takes a deep breath before opening the door to his room. Ushijima is back there again and he turns around.

“Are you feeling better?” he asks.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” Oikawa replies and sits down on his bed. Ushijima is sitting by his table and currently putting pictures in little frames. “But I’m fine.”

He’s curious by the pictures so he looks over to Ushijima. They were pictures of him and his friends. Oikawa recognizes some of them as his team members of Shiratorizawa. Some others, he guesses are his family, then there are also pictures of him and dogs.

Unlike Oikawa, Ushijima hasn’t decorated his side of the room at all. It was so bland and boring, but Oikawa guesses Ushijima wanted to change this. It was weird to see, though, because… the Ushijima in the pictures was everything but the one Oikawa knew. If he wouldn’t know Ushijima himself and just look at them, he’d think Ushijima was a nice person. Sure, he didn’t smile in the pictures, but he had all those friends and dogs. 

Who could not trust a person who loves dogs? But this is Ushijima they are talking about. Oikawa is surprised he even has a sentimental streak to him.

Wait, why does he even _care_ what Ushijima is doing? Oikawa just turns away and gets his math notes out to study. 

* * *

 

College life is both good and awful. But right now, the bad things outweight the goods. As the weeks pass by, he and Ushijima still don’t get along better and it’s seen during practice. Oikawa never thought this would get back to him, until the coach announces they have a practice match against another college. And he is not going to be their setter.

He is going to sit that game out. Oikawa has never had to sit out except for when he had his injury and even then he had hated it so much, he had been boiling with rage. This is worse. He isn’t allowed to play, not because he couldn’t. No, he is in perfectly fine condition and Oikawa is sure he was a better setter than _that_ guy.

Sure, chances on ending up in the sideline were higher, because they have way more students in the team than back in High School. And it’s not like Kuroo and Bokuto were in the start up line already too, but Oikawa is _good_. He is the best setter from them all and now they refuse to let him play! 

And all of this is because of Ushijima.

If he doesn’t hate him before, he does now. Oikawa has never felt this angry before, he feels like he is going to snap. He feels like he was back in Middle School, when Kageyama came along and Oikawa had been bursting with rage. 

Oikawa stays after practice, even though everyone else has gone back already. He is out of breath and tired, but he doesn’t care. He has to do this. Each hit gets more aggressive and sweat is running down his forehead and back. If Iwaizumi would be here, he would’ve been able to calm him down, just like last time. 

Oikawa can’t even get excited over the new uniforms they got today. He doesn’t feel like wearing them. What’s the point? He isn’t going to play anyway.

“Oikawa,” a voice says. It’s their captain, who’s walking up to him and behind him were Kuroo and Bokuto.

“What is it, Saito-senpai?” Oikawa tries really hard to sound nice and like his usual self, but he fails miserably. He clutches onto the volleyball he’s holding right now.

“You should go home.”

_Home_. His home is in Miyagi, not that small room, he shared with Ushijima. 

“I’m just practicing. I should, right? To get better to be able to play.” Again, Oikawa tries to sound cheery and even forces himself to smile.

Saito sighs. “I know you’re upset. It’s not because you’re bad, Oikawa. We both know you’re the best setter on the team, even better than Okada.”

“And yet I’m not going to play.”

“Oikawa,” Bokuto whispers. Oikawa likes Bokuto, but he doesn’t want his pity right now.

“It’s not because you’re bad! It’s because… you and Ushijima… You’re just not compatible,” Saito says. “Or you are, who knows? Bokuto and Kuroo told me about your past. I know you hate each other and it’s hard for you that you even have to live together, but you should _get over yourself_.”

“Eh?” Oikawa is surprised.

“Yes. Get over yourself. You don’t properly play to Ushijima! You two could be amazing together, with the two of you on our team and those two, we’d be unstoppable. You’re one of the most promising freshmen we had in years,” Saito explains. “But no, you’re literally destroying it for yourself.

You have so much potential! If you’d just get over yourself and get along! You can’t hold this grudge forever, you’re going to live here for a few years, you know? And even if you move out, you’re both going to play on this team. And on my team I don’t allow this kind of childish behavior.“

Oikawa is speechless. He widens his eyes and doesn’t know what to say. “I-”

“You were captain, right? So you know how exhausting it is, when two team members, who would make an amazing pair just refuse to get along and waste their potential. When you two finally get along, you can play,” Saito continues.

“But… Why me? Why isn’t _Ushiwaka_ sitting out?”

“We both know we can’t afford to lose Ushijima. I know, this is hard to hear and you probably dislike him more hearing this,” yes, he was right, “but it’s the truth. I suggest you to hang out or something. Try some quality bonding time!” Saito smiles at him. “I know you can do this. Well, clear up after this, okay?” Saito turns to Kuroo and Bokuto. “I’m making it your personal assignment to make those two get along.” 

“Aye, captain!” Bokuto and Kuroo shout and they salute.

He leaves them all and Oikawa clenches his fist. He is even angrier, but mostly, because he knew Saito was right. It’s not like he has never been captain before.

“We’ll help you,” Kuroo says, while he picks up the balls from the ground.

Oikawa takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, so he can calm down. 

“You know, this could be fun,” Bokuto chirps. “Quality bonding time!”

“No,” Oikawa says.

“Aw, come on! You heard our captain!” Bokuto says. “He’s right! We’d be an unstoppable force! The four captains!”

“Yeah, just stop being so petty,” Kuroo agrees and for that comment alone Oikawa would’ve wanted to throw him out of the window.

“So what, you’re trying to get us to be friends?” Oikawa scoffs. “I’m sorry, but nobody will be able to do that.”

Kuroo smirks. “Never say never. We can be _very_ convincing.” He looks over to Bokuto. “Right?”

“Hoho! Yes! Oh, what about karaoke! Let’s go out for a karaoke night! And invite Mika-chan and Hana!” Bokuto suggests. He’s suddenly all fired up about this idea and Kuroo is too. They talk about it a little bit more, and then Kuroo turns to Oikawa.

“So, what do you think, Oikawa?”

“Eh, I think hearing Ushiwaka’s horrible singing voice will make my ears bleed,” Oikawa replies, but then smiles. “But I never say no to a karaoke night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enter: misaki , former manager of the love of my life  
> also: for whoever hasnt noticed. the chapter titles are from song lyrics. more specifically : really ridiculous songs.  
> chapter one was one time by justin bieber, the second one was fergalicious and this one is from hips dont lie  
> i was listening to one time when i posted the first chapter . i dont even like jb ,, dont sue me lmao
> 
> also i "only" wrote 5k yesterday so rn the fic is at 44k


	4. Slowly, it's taking over me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, but it’s a dare,” Kuroo says.
> 
> Oikawa sighs. “What is it?”
> 
> “You won’t know what song it is until it’s on and you can’t back out,” Kuroo explains. “And you have to sing it to Ushijima.”

Oikawa dresses up nicely for the occasion. His friends once told him he had a horrible fashion taste, but those were Matsukawa and Hanamaki, and neither of them knew anything about fashion.

Oikawa wears a purple shirt that has an alien on his chest and beige pants. He puts over a white blazer and rolls up his sleeves. He takes some selfies in front of the mirror, when Ushijima knocks on the bathroom door.

“Hold it in, Ushiwaka! I haven’t found the right angle yet!” Oikawa shouts.

“I’m sure you look good.”

What? Oikawa holds still for a moment. Was he saying this to mock him? Was that sarcasm? Since when was Ushijima even able to understand sarcasm, yet alone use it? “Of course I do,” Oikawa replies after a short while and leaves the bathroom.

Ushijima just wears a grey shirt and a dark blue cardigan. It’s a nice cardigan, but Oikawa thinks it would look better on him. It is wasted on Ushijima. 

“What is that?” Ushijima asks. 

Oikawa looks down at himself to check whatever Ushijima’s talking about and his gaze falls on his alien. “That’s called an alien,” he replies.

“I know that-”

“I like aliens. If you want us to get along, you better write it all down.” Oikawa rushes past him and sits down on his bed, looking through the selfies he has just taken in the bathroom. He sets one of it as his new profile picture on Facebook, when Ushijima leaves the bathroom.

“Took you long enough, what were you even doing? You don’t even do anything with your hair, do you?”

“I comb it.”

Oikawa sighs. How could any girl even like him? He doesn’t understand. That guy is so blunt and probably wouldn’t even notice somebody would flirt with him when said person throws themselves in his arms. Is it because he was tall and good in volleyball? That must be it, because there wasn’t anything else good about him.

Okay, he did have a nice face and his arms were-

Oikawa shakes his head and stands up. “Let’s go, I bet the others are already waiting. You took so long!”

Ushijima raises one eyebrow. “You were in there for half an hour.”

“For a good reason, Ushiwaka! Look at my hair. Yours? Not so much.”

  


“What are you wearing?” Bokuto asks him with a bewildered expression. “How the hell are you popular with the girls again?”

“Please, I’m not taking fashion advice from somebody with your hair,” Oikawa replies and Bokuto gasps. He clutches his chest and Kuroo’s. 

“Kuroo, did you _hear_ that?”

Kuroo nods. “I know. Your hair is amazing, trust me, bro.”

Mika laughs. “I think it’s cute. I like the little alien, but your outfit does kind of clash.” 

Sadly, Oikawa can’t say anything to that, because Mika was incredibly fashionable. They rent a room for the six of them at a karaoke bar and Kuroo uses the ID of one of their senpais from the volleyball team.

“Hey, I kinda look like him and he told me if it’s for the sake of our team, he’s willing to give it to me,” he defends himself, when Misaki raises an eyebrow at him.

“For the sake of your team?”

“Yeah, Oikawa and Ushijima don’t get along, so our captain made it Bokuto and Kuroo’s mission to make them get along,” Mika explains to her. “That’s why we’re here today.”

“Oh.” Misaki nods. “This makes sense.”

“Kuro, I’m not going to drink alcohol!” Oikawa says. “Don’t you know what happened last time? I’m never going to even drink one drop of alcohol ever in my life!”

“What if we say we’re paying?” Bokuto asks.

“Okay.” Oikawa smiles at him and Bokuto turns to Kuroo.

“I’m broke, what about you?”

“I’m broke too, don’t make empty promises you can’t hold!”

In the room, they force Oikawa to sit next to Ushijima and they buy one of their cheapest bottles, which they claim they’ll pay. Oikawa sighs, but it’s still free drinks, so he’s not going to complain. 

Despite the fact that he’s sitting next to Ushijima and his friends are trying to make them get along, he wants to enjoy himself. He likes karaoke bars, likes singing and being the center of attention. He’s not the best singer out there, but he thinks he’s pretty great, plus he _is_ a good performer. 

Bokuto and Kuroo claim the first song for themselves and grab for the microphones as they flip through the book and search for a good song. Once they find one, they start to sing and Oikawa cringes. They are so _bad,_ both of them. 

Oikawa exchanges looks with Mika and Misaki, who seem to think the same thing, but Mika forces herself to smile and Misaki tries to cover her mouth, so she doesn’t burst out in laughter. When the song ends, Ushijima _claps_. Oikawa doesn’t know why, but for some reasons it’s so funny and he’s the one who bursts out laughing.

“Hey! Why are you laughing?” Bokuto asks.

“Ushiwaka, you don’t need to be so polite,” Oikawa says, holding his stomach. 

“What’s that supposed to mean, eh? Think you can sing better than us?” Kuroo grabs into Oikawa’s hair.

“Hey! My hair!” Oikawa pushes him away and pats his hair. “And yes, I do. Girls, put on the next song.”

“You want to sing alone?” Misaki asks.

“Of course!” Oikawa grabs for the microphone and stands up. “Behold, this is a show you don’t want to miss.” He winks at them and Mika claps.

“Go, Oikawa!”

The song starts and Oikawa moves his hips to the rhythm. He taps his with his fingers of his free hands against his thigh and then starts singing. Singing isn’t just about singing, it’s about _performing_. And he does know how to perform. He rolls his hips back, moves his head, winks at the ladies and snaps his fingers. Midway through the song, his friends start cheering for him and clapping to the rhythm. Even Ushijima joins their clapping after a while, which kind of pisses Oikawa off, but he doesn’t let himself be distracted by that fact.

When the song is over, Oikawa bows and Bokuto whistles.

“Dude, I should’ve recorded this!” he shouts.

“There’s still a next time,” Kuroo reminds him. “Okay, I admit, you’re better than us.”

Oikawa smiles and rubs the back of his head, acting flustered. “Eh, really? Thank you!”

“Please, as if that’s hard,” Mika says. “Come on, Hana, we’re going to sing now!”

“Oh no, I’m a horrible singer!” Her friend holds up both of her hands and shakes her head.

“You can’t be worse than them.” Mika points at Bokuto and Kuroo, who both act like they’re offended. 

“Mika-chan, you’re just as sly as your boyfriend,” Kuroo accuses her.

“Good, maybe you’ll stop trash talking my boyfriend now.”

“You like it when I do. You _join_ me when I do!”

Mika just smiles innocently at him and Oikawa laughs. He likes her. “Okay, Misaki, come on!” She takes the microphone from Oikawa’s hand and hands Misaki the other one. “We can do this!”

They get up and sing to another J-Pop song. Mika’s voice is sweet and Misaki is at first really quiet, but after a while she gets really into it and they both smile at the end of the song and get more whistles from Bokuto.

“Come on, Ushijima, what do you think? Me and you?” Kuroo asks the tall guy.

Ushijima shakes his head and drinks from his drink. “I pass.”

“I will sing with you!” Oikawa quickly says and grabs the microphone. “Pick a song.” He grins and Kuroo picks a horrible song, but Oikawa isn’t exactly surprised by this. 

“You know, we’re just here for you and Ushijima,” Bokuto murmurs, while he pours himself more to drink.

“Kuroo, can you please get out of the view? I want to film Oikawa, but you’re just horrible,” Mika says, holding up her phone.

Kuroo points at her and whispers low into his microphone. “The next song is for you, Mika-chan: Fuck you.”

They laugh and yes, Oikawa is enjoying himself. He can even ignore Ushijima’s presence, because that guy doesn’t do anything. The song Kuroo picked is a love song and both of them dramatically perform it with longing looks and clutching their chest. 

In the end they hug each other and Bokuto laughs. “Don’t let Kenma see this! He’ll get jealous!”

“Who’s Kenma?” Misaki asks.

“My best friend and shut up, Bokuto,” Kuroo murmurs. He seems to be flustered and Oikawa gasps.

“Oh, somebody has a crush on his best friend! Who is this Kenma?” Oikawa teases him.

“Bokuto, it’s your turn!” Kuroo just shouts.

“We’re all friends here. It’s the setter from Nekoma, right? I remember him from the game. He was cute,” Mika says. “Is he not in college?”

“He’s still in High School,” Kuroo explains and then shakes his head. “Forget it. Er, sing.” He pushes the microphone in her hands and she sighs. 

“Fine.” She and Bokuto sing the next song and for a while it’s all great. Oikawa doesn’t talk much with Ushijima, Misaki talks mostly with him, so he’s not left out either. 

“Oh, but Oikawa, can you sing the next song alone?” Mika asks. 

“Anything for my fan!” Oikawa chirps.

“Can I choose the song?”

“I can work with anything.”

Mika and Kuroo exchange glances. “Okay, but it’s a dare,” Kuroo says.

Oikawa sighs. “What is it?”

“You won’t know what song it is until it’s on and you can’t back out,” Kuroo explains. “And you have to sing it to Ushijima.”

“No.”

“Come on! You both are the reason we’re even _here_!” Bokuto shouts. 

Misaki holds up her hand. “I’m going to buy you a cocktail of your choice if you do.”

Everyone gasps. “Misaki, where do you have your money from?” Bokuto whispers.

“You don’t know? I have a scholarship.”

“She’s really smart,” Mika adds and Misaki laughs.

“No,” Oikawa shakes his head. “Besides, Ushiwaka couldn’t even deal with me. I’d make his knees go weak in five seconds.”

Ushijima shrugs. “I think I can manage.”

What? He thinks he’s immune to his charm? “It’s on,” Oikawa hisses and grabs the microphone. “Misaki, Kuroo, put on the song. And it better not be a love song.”

It’s not. He recognizes the song immediately, it’s a really popular western song. 

“Oh oh ho,” Bokuto exclaims. “Toxic by Britney Spears?”

“You’re both awful,” Oikawa says towards Kuroo and Mika. He wonders what Mika’s boyfriend would think if he finds out how well they get along and what a bad- or good- team they make. He’s most likely not going to be happy about it. 

“What, can’t work with that?” Kuroo teases.

“Of course.” 

Misaki is holding up her phone to record it and Oikawa takes a deep breath before he starts. He looks over to Ushijima, just like the challenge told him to. He smirks and starts singing and dancing. His eyes are on Ushijima and him alone and he’d rather just claw his face out than sing seductively to his rival, but he doesn’t back off from a challenge. 

Oikawa even walks over to Ushijima at one point, puts one hand on the armrest and leans down towards him and looks him straight in the eyes. He ignores the shouts and whistles of the other four, as he sits down next to Ushijima and puts his hand on his shoulder.

God damn it, why doesn’t he react? Ushijima just stares at him with his mouth opened and Oikawa winks before he stands up again and dances. Every time he has to sing ‘you’ he points at Ushijima. 

How can he _not_ be charmed by Oikawa’s dance moves? This is it. Oikawa is pissed, but he can’t show it, so he has to go to his last resort. He crawls towards Ushijima on the couch, who now widens his eyes.

_Yes!_ Oikawa smirks and when he sits up, he runs his hand through Ushijima’s hair- he doubts he really minds, since all he does is comb it and there’s no hair product in it. Oikawa can hear Bokuto and Kuroo laughing and then the song is over.

Ushijima hasn’t moved for a while and Oikawa drops the microphone. “What, Ushiwaka? Cat got your tongue? I know I’m incredible, but I hope you didn’t wet your pants.”

“He totally did,” Mika says.

“Yeah, totally,” Misaki agrees.

“Oikawa, my man! That was hot!” Bokuto shouts and lunges towards Oikawa to throw his arm around him. Oikawa laughs.

“I told you I can do it.”

“Now Ushijima has to sing!” Misaki shouts.

“Yes! This is a two street way!” Kuroo says and then the four of them all shout Ushijima’s name in unison.

“No, thank you-”

“Come on, Ushiwaka. I know you’re probably horrible, but at least _try_ to not disappoint me too much,” Oikawa says, grinning.

Ushijima sighs. “Okay.” He takes the microphone Oikawa is handing him and when he chooses a song and Oikawa realizes, he can’t stop smiling, he does. 

God damn it. He was really enjoying himself, he _liked_ this. Even with Ushijima, even if he just had to seductively sing for him and touched him. Oikawa had _fun_ with Ushijima Wakatoshi. Something in this world was wrong.

This isn’t even all, because when the song starts and Ushijima began to sing, everyone holds their breath.

“Holy shit,” Kuroo whispers.

Holy shit _indeed_. Ushijima has a beautful, angelic voice. It is deep and soothing and he hits every single note. Nobody says anything. While they were all always cheering, whistling, shouting or clapping their hand before, they all don’t say a word now.

Oikawa can’t believe he was moved by Ushijima’s voice. His voice was kind of… _sexy_. He hates himself for thinking this. When the song is over, Mika claps her hand and the others follow suit, except for Oikawa, who crosses his arms.

“It was… okay.”

“Dude, that was amazing,” Bokuto says. “Admit it. It was you who wet his pants.”

“Is it hot in here or is it Ushiwaka’s sexy voice?” Kuroo jokes and Ushijima seems to be flustered.

“Don’t call me Ushiwaka.”

“It was really good, Ushiwaka,” Mika says and Oikawa grins.

“Why are you smiling? Got convinced after all that Ushiwaka is great?” Bokuto asks, smirking.

“No, I just like that you all call him Ushiwaka.”

Ushijima sighs and puts down the microphone on the table. “I’m glad it entertains you.”

“And just because you can sing well, doesn’t mean I think you’re great,” Oikawa adds. “You lack something. The performance. You just sit and sing, that’s boring, Ushiwaka! You should do more, at least change your expressions!”

Bokuto grins even wider. “Oh hoho! So you do think he sings well?”

Oikawa takes a sip from his drink. “I have ears, right? I’m not too childish to admit this.” He hates it, hates that Ushijima is again better than him at something and he hates how Ushijima smiles at him and that he has a fucking dimple, because this just wasn’t fair. Bad people don’t deserve this.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Oikawa murmurs. “Being good at singing isn’t a redeeming quality.”

It really wasn’t. However, Oikawa also had to admit that this evening wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title.. is obviously by toxic


	5. With me you're winning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima furrows his brows. “No, but I think I can carry you. It’s better than when you have to walk all the way back.”  
> “You know, I’m great, but there’s other ways to get me to touch you,” Oikawa says. “Not that I’d do it anyway. It’s humiliating and I don’t like you!”  
> “Oikawa.” Ushijima looks down at him. “Stop being so childish.”

More weeks pass. It is impossible to avoid Ushijima by now, because Bokuto and Kuroo always invite him along any time the five of them were doing anything. Oikawa knows it’s because their captain told them to, but it’s getting really annoying.

He’s sure Iwaizumi is annoyed by this too, because every time they call each other, Oikawa complains about Ushijima. It’s not like Oikawa has to hang out with him, he has other friends too. He has made tons of friends in the short time he has been living here now, but he still preferred to spend his time with Kuroo, Bokuto, Mika and occasionally Misaki.

It is rare to find them all without Ushijima at their side now, which pisses Oikawa off. Ushijima could find other friends, he isn’t the most talkative person around, but he can hang with the other freshmen from their volleyball team. Plus, he managed to befriend his teammates from Shiratorizawa, so it’s not like he isn’t able to make friends, right?

Maybe Oikawa should just stop being so petty, but sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night, looks over to Ushijima, who is sleeping soundlessly and peacefully, and has the urge to punch his face.

“Okay, this Friday we don’t have any classes,” Bokuto says one day when they’re all sitting together in the cafeteria. “Which means we’ll have a longer weekend.”

“If you’re about to suggest we go to a party, I have to pass,” Misaki says. “The volleyball girls already have plans.”

“And they haven’t invited _us_?” Kuroo asks.

“No, I meant I’m finally going to visit Akaashi! It’s been just way too long.” Bokuto sighs.

“You saw him two weeks ago,” Misaki points out.

“See? Too long.”

“That means I could visit Kenma!” Kuroo shouts.

“Yes, smartass,” Mika teases. “Suguru and I are going to meet up too.”

Kuroo scoffs. “Eh, Daishou. Can’t believe you’re dating that sneaky little bastard. You deserve better.”

“To be fair, I agree and I can’t believe it either,” Mika just replies, shrugging.

Oikawa holds up his hand. “Wait, are you telling me you’re all busy this weekend?” It is rare for them to all be avaible, but for everyone to already have plans? That hasn’t happened before.

“No,” Kuroo says. “Ushiwaka isn’t.”

Oikawa looks to his left where Ushijima was sitting, eating his lunch. Their gazes meet and Oikawa quickly looks away again. “Misa-chaaan, how long are you gone?”

“We’re driving out of the city to a training camp, so from Thursday evening to Sunday evening,” she replies. Oikawa feels like the world is crashing down on him.

“Hey,” Bokuto pats on Oikawa’s back. “Have fun, you two!”

“No, Bokuto!” Oikawa clings onto his friend’s shirt. “Don’t leave me alone! Take me with you! I bet Akaashi won’t mind.”

“I bet he does, it’s been too long since either of us got laid,” Bokuto replies and Oikawa looks over to Kuroo and Mika, who both shake their head.

“I have other friends,” Oikawa says. “This isn’t going to be a problem. The four of you enjoy your weekend.”

“Why does this sound so passive aggressive,” Misaki murmurs.

* * *

  


He has other friends, but in the end Oikawa doesn’t have the energy to ask around. Everyone from their volleyball team said this is a great opportunity for him and Ushijima to spend a weekend together, his other friends from class either have other plans or were girls who then expect more and think it’s a date.

So in the end, Oikawa ends up alone during the weekend. With Ushijima, who doesn’t have any plans either.

He decides to study, he really needs to anyway. So Oikawa sits down at his table and gets his notes out and starts studying. The problem was a 6’3“ tall guy, who comes into the room and lays down on the bed. He doesn’t exactly do anything to distract Oikawa, all he does is lying on his bed and read, but it just somehow really distracts Oikawa.

“Don’t you have anywhere else to go?” Oikawa asks him.

“I live here,” Ushijima replies and Oikawa curses him in his head.

He could get up and go to the library and study there, but he feels like that’s admitting defeat. He shouldn’t be so distracted by Ushijima, he barely makes any noise. The only noise he makes is when he turns his page and that shouldn’t piss Oikawa off as much as it does.

Time passes and Oikawa really tries to get into this subject, but he notices he read the same sentence six times and then groans.

“Do you have any problems?” Ushijima asks.

“Yes. I have one. He’s tall, big and annoying and reading.”

“You’re not that big.”

Oikawa stares at him and actually has to hold himself back from laughing. He presses his palm against his lips. “Did you just make a joke, Ushiwaka?”

Ushijima shrugs. “Seems like I did.”

Oikawa turns back again and looks down on his worksheet, but for some reasons, he can’t stop grinning. God damn it. He groans and stands up. “I’m done. I can’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“You’re distracting me, Ushiwaka.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

“Yes, you have. You’re _here_!”

“I live here,” Ushijima repeats.

“I’m gonna go,” Oikawa says.

“Go where?”

“Jogging.” He doesn’t know where the idea comes from, but suddenly, Oikawa feels the need to go for a jog. “Yes, exactly. The weather is nice, it’s a beautiful May day! And I feel like jogging.” He searches for a shirt and some shorts to change into.

“I’m coming with you.”

“What?”

“It is a nice day for jogging,” Ushijima repeats him and he gets up from his bed to change clothes too and Oikawa is just staring at him. Is he serious? He can’t just announce this. He can’t just _join_ him, they are supposed to be rivals! Not that it really felt like that anyway anymore, because they have the same friends, are on the same team and share the same dorm.

“You can’t just- Forget it. Do what you want.” Oikawa grabs his clothes and gets dressed in the bathroom. When he leaves it, Ushijima has changed his clothes too, and Oikawa looks over him. He puts on his sport shoes and smiles.

“Let’s see if you can keep up with me, Ushiwaka!”

Oikawa is the one who sets the route for their run and Ushijima just follows him. It kind of feels good, to be the one in charge, but he’s still not really a fan of jogging with Ushijima.

Why is he here? It is either that he is so much of an asshole, that he does this to irritate Oikawa. Because he knows Oikawa wouldn’t go to the library to study, because that would be like admitting defeat. And if Oikawa would shout at him and tell him not to follow him, that would be childish. Ushijima is probably doing this to irritate him.

Maybe, he thinks he’s a better runner than Oikawa and wants to tag along so he can wait for Oikawa to run out of breath and beg for mercy. Not that it really matters, Oikawa is sure that when he just turns around and runs back to their dorm, Ushijima would just follow suit.

_Or_ it was because Ushijima thinks they were friends. That its impossible. Oikawa has made that clear plenty of times. Well, not recently, but it’s not like he’s friendly around him. God, does he think they’re friends? They do hang out with each other every day because of the others, but he can’t believe that, right?

No, he can’t. Ushijima’s pretty dense, but not that dense. He probably _wants_ to be Oikawa’s friend, which is worse. Is he doing this so they could be friends? No… He’s probably just doing this because he wants Oikawa to play with him during practice. Oikawa really tries, he does set right for Ushijima, but they both know he could be better.

Maybe Ushijima is right, he is prideful, but that’s just how he was. Ushijima is arrogant after all. _Don’t think too much into this_ , Oikawa thinks. No, whatever Ushijima’s reasons are, it isn’t important.

They jog next to each other for a while and none of them say anything. It is a nice May day, so warm that Oikawa has been able to just wear short shorts and after a while, he starts sweating. He looks over to Ushijima, who still seems perfectly fine and grits his teeth.

He’s not going to lose to him. During their jog, Oikawa meets some people he knows, waves and smiles at them (mostly the girls), who then wave back and giggle. He can feel Ushijima watching him and looks up.

“Eh, is somebody jealous I’m so popular?” Ushijima doesn’t reply and Oikawa laughs. “It’s no surprise, though. I am just that-”

He trips. There’s a big rock on the road he missed and trips. Luckily, Ushijima reacts quickly enough and catches him. Oikawa’s heart is beating fast, because he had for a split second thought that this was the moment he’s going to die. He’s too shocked to say anything or move, until he realizes in what kind of position they’re in.

Oikawa is literally in Ushijima’s arms and swallows. “Let go of me!” He pushes Ushijima away and tries to stand up straight again, but this time, Oikawa really falls. He falls down on his ass and lets out a groan in pain. His ankle hurt.

Fuck, this couldn’t get any worse! He hates the fact that Ushijima is standing up and is looking down at him.

“Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay! My ankle hurts!” Oikawa huffs and looks down on his ankle that was red and swollen. “I probably have twisted my ankle when I tripped.” Oikawa looks down on the rock he has tripped over and takes it in his hand and throws it away. “Stupid rock.” 

Oikawa tries to get up, but he can’t and Ushijima i _s looking down a_ t him and he hates this. “You like this, don’t you? Me at your feet, unable to stand up?”

Ushijima holds out his hand. “No, I don’t,” he replies and Oikawa stares at Ushijima’s hand. He can’t hold hands with Ushijima, even if just for a second. But he swallows his pride and takes Ushijima’s hand, who helps him up. Oikawa stumbles forward and winces. He can’t really stand on his left foot anymore and Ushijima seems to notice this as he supports Oikawa’s back with his free hand.

Oikawa puts his hand on Ushijima’s shoulder to balance himself and looks around. “There’s a bench. Help me get over there.”

They somehow manage to get him over to that bench and Oikawa sits down, inspecting his swollen ankle. 

“You should cool it,” Ushijima comments.

“Really? Do you see any ice here, Ushiwaka?” 

“We should head back to the dorms, then,” Ushijima says.

“How am I supposed to? I can’t _walk_!” Oikawa widens his eyes. “No, I will not walk all the way back with you helping me. That would be like an entire hour. No, I’m going to call a cab-”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Ushijima sighs. “I can carry you.”

Oikawa narrows his eyes. “Ushiwaka, do you even  _hear_ yourself? You want to carry me? I’m not that light, you know. I might not be as big as you, but everything but _tiny_.”

“I know.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

Ushijima furrows his brows. “No, but I think I can carry you. It’s better than when you have to walk all the way back.”

“You know, I’m great, but there’s other ways to get me to touch you,” Oikawa says. “Not that I’d do it anyway. It’s humiliating and I don’t like you!”

“Oikawa.” Ushijima looks down at him. “Stop being so childish.”

This was the last straw. Ushijima just called him childish. Oikawa could take it from everyone else, but not him. “Fine! Get down here and turn around!” Ushijima does as he’s told and Oikawa puts his arms around Ushijima’s neck. “I’m going to choke you one day.”

Then, he realizes, how dirty it sounds and blushes. Luckily, Ushijima can’t see it. He probably doesn’t even get it anyway. Ushijima stands up and it’s so weird and Oikawa can feel the looks they get. He’s a grown man clinging onto the back of another grown man. 

“God, this is so embarrassing, Ushiwaka, I hate you.” It’s bad that he has to touch him, but he can’t help it. “I don’t want to be seen like this, hurry up.” Oikawa buries his face in Ushijima’s shoulder. He smells nice and Oikawa hates that he thinks this and yanks back immediately.

“Stop moving,” Ushijima tells him as he walks back.

“I hate you,” Oikawa repeats.

“Why?”

“Why?” Oikawa scoffs. “You know exactly why. Do you think just because we have the same friends, live together, are on the same team and practically spend almost every hour of our life together it makes us friends? Or it would make me _like_ you?”

“We should really try to get along,” Ushijima says. “The captain is right. We both know you can do better than this, we’re not at our full potential.”

“Do you even have anything else in your head, but volleyball?”

“Do you?”

Oikawa doesn’t reply and bites down on his lower lip. “I get the ball to you, so what’s your problem?”

“You’re not playing right.”

Oikawa tightens his grip around Ushijima. “You’re doing this again. Patronizing me, talking down to me. You always think you know what’s best and you’re so god damn _arrogant_.”

“I am sorry, that was not my intention,” Ushijima apologizes.

“It’s not? Really? Every time you came to me after a game we lost and told me that I should’ve come to Shiratorizawa? Telling me, I’m too prideful and pointing out my flaws? Do you think that would make me _like_ you?”

Ushijima doesn’t reply and after a while of silence, he says: “I’m sorry.”

“Your apologizes aren’t needed, Ushiwaka.”

“I’m serious. I never wanted to patronize you. I just…,” Ushijima seems to have lost his words, “wanted to talk to you.”

Oikawa laughs. “Ushiwaka, that almost sounds like a love confession.”

“I’ll try and not say anything like that ever again,” Ushijima says.

Oikawa presses his lips together and lays his forehead against the back of Ushijima’s head. “Fine. We can start over. But I’m not going to be your friend! I will _never_.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Oikawa can’t see it, but it sounds like Ushijima was happy about it. To be honest, he’d rather not see Ushijima smile anyway.

“And now walk quicker, enough people have seen me already.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you all know i use lyrics from ridiculous song and this time it was eenie meenie by sean kingston vs justin bieber and im laughing so hard  
> BC ITS AN USHIOI SONG and i hate myself for thinking this lmaoo


	6. i wanna walk on your wave length

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think you might not be as bad as I thought you are.”
> 
> Ushijima smiles. “I’m glad you changed your mind.”
> 
> “Yeah, massage my feet every day and I might call you my friend, Ushiwaka.”

He can’t believe it’s been over a month they’ve been living together now, but Oikawa also can’t believe it took him less than a month to stop being rude to Ushijima. Okay, he’s still not exactly _nice_ to him, but he stopped being rude.

Start over? Okay, Oikawa can do this. Befriend him? No way.

The first few days after their awkward weekend, Oikawa isn’t allowed to play because of his ankle. He could just leave, but he watches them practice, observes every single player to find out more about how they play and interact on court.

He talks to Mika most of the time. She tells him more about her boyfriend and Oikawa can’t believe how she’s actually dating him, when all she does is talk badly about him.

“Mika-chan, are you sure you love him?” Oikawa once asked and she laughs.

“Yes. Suguru is a pain in the ass, but I still love him. He has his redeeming qualities, you know? And he never treats me badly. He’s really cute to me,” she replies. “He wasn’t happy when he found out about me and Kuroo though. But I like that I can piss him off with my friendship with his rival.”

She giggles and Oikawa smiles. She was the complete opposite of Bokuto, who, when _his_ boyfriend was mentioned, held a long speech on why Akaashi was so good and a gift from the gods. Oikawa thinks he prefers a boyfriend like Bokuto. He’d like it if his partner would be like that, even if some might think it’s embarrassing. He thinks it’s kind of cute.

Not that he’d know, Oikawa still isn’t interested in anyone. He has been asked out by tons of girls and back in High School, he might have given one or two a chance, but now in college he was done with pretending he was straight. The next girl that would ask him out will get “I’m gay,” as an answer.

He even told Mika at one point and she hummed. “So everyone’s gay from our group but me. And maybe Ushijima.”

“Please, Ushiwaka isn’t capable of loving anyone,” Oikawa replied.

“Are you sure, Oikawa? At our drinking game, it was you who was the only one who never had a crush and he was the one who did.”

Oikawa wanted to say something, but sadly, he had no idea what to. “You’re mean, Mika-chan,” Oikawa said. “I feel bad for the poor creature Ushijima had a crush on.”

“I thought you wanted to be nice to him now.”

Oikawa sighed. “Is Misaki gay too?”

“Yeah. She told me the other day that being the manager of the girls volleyball team had both been the best and worst decision of her life.”

Oikawa laughed about this. It’s probably true. The girls team are gorgeous, the guys from his team talk about this all the time. Some are even dating each other and Oikawa thinks it’s nice. 

He’d like to date someone who plays volleyball too, just like Bokuto and Akaashi or Kenma and Kuroo, even if the latter aren’t dating. It would be nice to be with someone who shares the same interest and doesn’t get mad when he spends too much time playing volleyball.

So when he’s finally back on his feet and is allowed to play, Oikawa plays to Ushijima. Not like he used to before, no, he gives it his all. He respects Ushijima’s wishes, the way he plays, calculates it all in the way he plays the ball towards Ushijima and when the ball lands on the other side of the net and on the floor, they both stare at each other.

Ushijima smiles at him and mouthes “Thank you” and Oikawa is too happy to be petty right now. He actually smiles back and makes his signature V-Sign. “Never underestimate me again,” he says and Ushijima chuckles.

“I never have.”

Oikawa feels great. He feels like he can do this and he gets another volleyball. “Again!” he shouts and Ushijima gets in position. He’s right, they work amazingly well together. It’s not like Kageyama and that Chibi-chan, but it’s close. They make each other better and it feels good and maybe Oikawa should’ve done this from the beginning already, swallow his pride and just play _right_ to Ushijima.

At the end of practice, Bokuto and Kuroo jump right towards him and throw their arms around Oikawa. “Wooh! That was great!” They even pull Ushijima in their group hug. 

“I know you could do it,” Kuroo says when he pulls back.

Oikawa laughs. “Of course I can,” he says and pokes out his tongue.

“You were always a good player,” Ushijima agrees and Oikawa looks up at him. Somehow, he feels weird about this comment. A compliment by Ushijima, where he doesn’t doubt its meaning anymore. He really does mean it, it’s not to irritate Oikawa.

He almost thanks him, but Oikawa just settles for a smile and that’s the most Ushijima will ever get.

* * *

  


A few days later, a girl asks him out again.

She’s another freshman and Oikawa recognizes her from the classes and because she’s on the girls volleyball team. She’s a beauty, with long curly silver hair and Oikawa knows the other boy’s from his team are all lusting after her, have talked about her several times as the ‘new beauty from the girls team’. 

She’s nervous, though. “A-And, I know, we don’t really know each other, but I like you, so would you please, I don’t know, go out on a date with me?”

Oikawa stares at her and then smiles. “Aoki-san, right?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

“I’m really flattered, but I can’t.”

“Oh.” She looks down. “That’s totally okay! Do you have a girlfriend? I mean, you don’t have to answer me-”

“No, that’s not it. I’m gay,” Oikawa says and she widens her eyes. She seems to be surprised by this statement.

“Is this a secret?” she asks. “If you want to keep it one, I will.”

Oikawa hesitates. He’d rather want everyone to know he’s gay so no more girls will ask him out, but then he thinks about his teammates. They’re not really that close yet, only have been on the same team for less than two months, so he nods. 

“Yeah, it’d be better if you keep this a secret, Aoki-san. Thank you.” He winks at her and she smiles.

“It’s no problem, Oikawa-san! I’m glad you told me the truth.” She nods and runs away.

He hopes she doesn’t tell anyone. 

* * *

  


Apparently, she does.

The next day during lunch, Misaki asks him. “Hey, Aoki told me something, is it true?”

Oikawa chokes on his food and Ushijima hands him his glass of water and Oikawa swallows his pride again, because it hurts so much and just drinks from Ushijima’s glass. His past self from two months ago would probably kill the Oikawa now if he knew he was drinking from Ushijima’s glass.

“I told her not to tell anyone!”

“She didn’t, don’t worry. She just thought I knew it because we were so close,” Misaki explains. “And I’m hurt you didn’t tell me. We’re closer friends than you and Aoki, right? Have you ever even _talked_ to Aokai?”

“Yeah, twice during class,” Oikawa replies. “And you didn’t tell me either!”

“Tell what?” Bokuto asks.

Oikawa and Misaki eye each other, both not sure if they want to say it, but then Misaki breaks the silence. “I’m gay.”

“I’m too,” Oikawa then says and now it’s Ushijima who chokes on his food and Oikawa is the one who hands him back his drink and _god damn it_ , it was almost like they are really friends.

“Why the hell didn’t you just tell us? It’s not like Bokuto and I are straight,” Kuroo says.

“Are you _gay_ gay? Or bi like me?” Bokuto asks.

“It was never a secret,” Misaki says. “I don’t go around telling people I’m gay for no reason.”

“You do,” Mika replies. “Every time there’s a cute girl you grab my arm and say ‘Not to be a lesbian, but _holy shit_ ’.” Misaki blushes and Oikawa just laughs.

“Okay, I admit it,” Misaki murmurs.

“Well, you don’t have to hide anymore,” Kuroo says. “You can now grab our arms too.”

“Well, I guess this answers your question,” Misaki tells Bokuto. “I’m lesbian.”

“I’m not bi either,” Oikawa says, shrugging.

“This explains why you’re turning down all the girls! I was getting jealous here,” Kuroo says.

“You only have Kenma in your head anyway,” Mika teases.

Kuroo raises his eyebrows. “I don’t want to hear this by the token straight member of our group.”

Then, suddenly everybody turns to Ushijima, who’s silently minding his own business. He looks up at the curious eyes. “What?”

“Are you straight?”

Ushijima doesn’t seem to be comfortable answering this. “I don’t think so?”

Oikawa pokes him. “What’s that supposed to mean, Ushiwaka? Don’t you normally give clear answers?”

“If he’s not comfortable with answering-” Misaki starts, but Bokuto cuts in her sentence.

“Hey, you said you had a crush before! Was it a guy or a girl?”

Ushijima blushes. “It was a guy.”

“So you’re not straight,” Misaki concludes and Kuroo laughs.

“You are the token straight friend, Mika-chan. Thanks for keeping up our quote,” he tells her and she pouts.

“This means I won’t get killed off,” she says.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Kuroo murmurs and she pokes him with her chopsticks.

“Get your dirty gems away from me,” Kuroo says.

“Please, if Oikawa can drink from Ushijima’s glass, you can do this too,” Mika says.

Oikawa and Ushijima exchange awkward glances. “It was a live or die situation and we’re not going to talk about it ever again,” he says and turns to Ushijima. “Understood, Ushiwaka?”

He just nods as a response.

* * *

  


It’s a weird concept. Oikawa has already forgotten that Ushijima used to have a crush, but hearing it again, was so weird. He really used to have a crush and on top of that on a guy. Oikawa feels bad for the guy, but he’s also jealous. He wants to know too what it’s like to have a crush, because it sounds exciting.

He went eighteen, almost nineteen years without one and it was kind of boring when all around you were couples and all the media promoted nowadays was romantic love. Not that it matters really, because they are mostly just straight couples.

He wonders what has happened to Ushijima’s crush. Probably faded right when he left Miyagi and went to college in Tokyo.

It’s the first weekend ever since Oikawa and Ushijima stopped being rivals. If that’s how you could call it. They don’t have practice this weekend and Oikawa was glad for it, because yesterday he has fallen on his ankle healing ankle again and now it hurts so much. Right when he thought it was healed again.

Oikawa sighs and looks down at his foot and carefully places the ice pack he has gotten earlier on his ankle. The door opens and Ushijima walks in.

“Does it hurt again?”

“It’s no big deal,” Oikawa says.

“It looks bad. Maybe you should go see the nurse,” Ushijima says and he drops to his knees in front of Oikawa. Oikawa pulls back his leg, but somehow he likes seeing Ushijima on his knees. It’s nice to see him lower than Oikawa.

“Please, Ushiwaka, stop being so concerned, I’d almost think you care for me,” Oikawa jokes.

“I do,” Ushijima replies and then the faintest hint of a blush creeps up on his cheeks. “You can’t play like this.” Of course he meant volleyball. This guy had nothing else in mind, but volleyball, Oikawa is surprised he even managed to have a crush on somebody. The poor soul had probably been one of his teammates.

“I have a cream that should help,” Ushijima says. He walks away and towards his bedside table where he brings out a tube, before he drops before Oikawa on his knees again. “Can I?”

“I… I could do it myself, you know,” Oikawa replies. 

Ushijima seems to be flustered by this and Oikawa smirks and lifts his feet. “Okay, Ushiwaka, but I hope you don’t have a foot kink and are getting off from this.”

Ushijima chuckles before he opens the tube and spreads it on his hand. The way he touches Oikawa’s foot is way too intimate, but he’s probably just being careful. He slowly massages the cream onto Oikawa’s ankle and his touch was way too gentle. Well, it’s actually pretty normal, but it makes Oikawa feel weird.

He doesn’t know where to look and for some reasons, Oikawa can’t look away. He likes the image, Ushijima on his knees and massaging his feet. “Ushiwaka?”

“Yes?” Ushijima stops to looks up and Oikawa doesn’t even remember what he was going to say.

“Forget it.”

When Ushijima is finished, he sits back and closes the tube for the gel again. It feels nice and cools off Oikawa’s injury. “You know, Ushiwaka, I think I might have changed my mind about you.”

“You have?”

“Mhm.” Oikawa hums and leans back on his arms, as Ushijima gets up again. Oikawa looks up to the taller man and smirks. “I think you might not be as bad as I thought you are.”

Ushijima smiles. “I’m glad you changed your mind.”

“Yeah, massage my feet every day and I might call you my friend, Ushiwaka.” Oikawa lays down on his bed and Ushijima chuckles. It’s nice to see him laugh and Oikawa curses himself for it. Maybe this was for the best. Why even try? He should just stop fighting against it. “Hey.”

“Yes?” Ushijima sits down at his table.

“Do you… really meant it? I mean, when you apologized for being such a dick to me.”

“Of course I did. I never intended to patronize you, Oikawa.” Ushijima looks at him with such a stern and serious expression, that Oikawa sighs.

“And you want to be my friend, Ushiwaka?”

“That would be nice, yes.” Ushijima ducks his head and runs with his hand through his hair and Oikawa grins.

“Okay, then tell me about your dogs.”

“What?”

“You have dogs, right? I’ve seen the pictures.” Oikawa points at the little frames that were on the window sill and on Ushijima’s table.

“What do you want to know?”

“Anything. God, Ushiwaka, it’s not that hard to tell a person about your dogs.”

Ushijima takes the picture of him and his dog in his hands. “I have two. One Akita and one German Shepherd,” he explains. 

“Aren’t those really big? I’m not surprised, though. You’re big. You’d probably crush a puppy if you’d try to hug one,” Oikawa teases. He reaches out his hand and Ushijima puts the frame in it. Oikawa looks at it. It’s a picture of a Ushijima when he was about twelve or thirteen with those huge dogs.

“I got Kyo when I was eight, I basically grew up with her. She’s the Akita,” Ushijima explains. “And Ryo when I was eleven.”

“Ushiwaka?”

“Yes?”

“Did you name your dogs?”

“Yeah.”

Oikawa laughs. “You named your dogs Kyo and Ryo. It’s… it’s cute. I can’t believe I just said this.” He hands Ushijima the picture back. Ushijima just smiles, looking at the picture.

“They _are_ cute,” he says and Oikawa nods.

“Yeah. Do they… Have they ever gotten puppies?”

“Yes. Six, but we gave them all away to other family members,” Ushijima explains.

“Ah, what a waste! Next time your dogs get puppies, let me know. I want to see one of those.” 

“I will,” Ushijima promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship" lmaoo  
> title is e.t. by katy petty  
> yall when will i run out of mid 2000s/early 2010s pop songs to name my chapters


	7. Everyone else in the room can see it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m glad,” Ushijima says, “that we’re friends now.”
> 
> Oikawa stares at him and then pushes him teasingly at his side. “God, stop this. You’re being awfully blunt again, it’s embarrassing. It’s no big deal.”
> 
> “It is for me. You used to hate me.”
> 
> “Maybe I still do,” Oikawa says. “You know? Love hate relationships?”
> 
> “Love?”

It’s the small things that start their friendship.

It’s when Oikawa doesn’t mind accidentally touching Ushijima anymore, or when he doesn’t pretend to have anything else to do after practice so he doesn’t have to walk back with Ushijima. It’s when he doesn’t complain when he has to sit next to Ushijima during lunch. No, actually, they even sit next to each other during the few classes they have and it’s when Oikawa steals the food from Ushijima, or when he starts doodling on Ushijima’s notes to piss him off (not that it works, because Ushijima isn’t annoyed by it for whatever reasons).

“I don’t know how it happened,” Oikawa tells Iwaizumi over the phone. “I didn’t plan it!”

“I know,” Iwaizumi replies, “you called me literally every day the first two weeks to complain about him. And even afterwards you didn’t stop.”

“What? You’re not mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because we hate Ushiwaka!”

Iwaizumi sighs. “I don’t like him, but… Well, he’s on your team, right? And you need to get along with your teammates. Which doesn’t mean you have to _like_ each other and be friends, but it’s I guess all or nothing with you.”

“He’s really not that bad,” Oikawa confesses. “I hate this. I never wanted to be his stupid friend!”

“But?”

“I don’t know, it’s fun to tease him.” Oikawa shrugs. “And he’s _human_. Can you believe that, Iwa-chan?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? You’re talking nonsense again.”

“He has friends, is nice, shows human emotions and _smiles_. Sometimes, he even _laughs_. It was so creepy in the beginning, but I’m getting used to it.” Oikawa lowers his voice and whispers it into the phone.

“That’s not creepy!”

“It’s Ushiwaka. Imagine Ushiwaka doing those things.”

Iwaizumi holds his breath. “Okay, you’re right, it is creepy. But you’re friends with him now, you have no right to say anything.”

“You’re mean, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whines. But it’s true. Oikawa can’t even deny it anymore, they _were_ friends. And he spent more time with Ushijima than with anyone else, which wasn’t just because they were roommates.

No, it was because Kuroo and Bokuto always hang out with each other and so did Misaki and Mika. It isn’t because Oikawa enjoyed hanging out with Ushijima, no. Nope. 

“Hey, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa says one day, when they’re sitting next to each other in class again and waiting for their professor to turn up.

Ushijima looks up from his notes. “Yes?”

“How do you look like with glasses?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

Oikawa takes off his glasses and puts them on Ushijima. He bursts out in laughter. “You look horrible. Those frames aren’t for you. They don’t compliment your face. Be glad you don’t have to wear glasses, because you look ridiculous.”

“Well, they look good on you,” Ushijima just says and takes them off.

“Oh my god, Ushiwaka, you can’t just say things like this,” Oikawa replies. “People might get the wrong idea. And I know they look good on me.” Oikawa smiles as he puts them back on. “I rock anything.”

“What about your alien shirts?”

Oikawa narrows his eyes. “Did you just insult my alien _shirts_? I’m hurt, I thought we’re friends now!”

Ushijima seems to be surprised by this. “We’re friends?”

Oh. He hasn’t said it out loud before and Oikawa tries to play it down. “Of course, Ushiwaka, we are the bestest friends. Don’t get too excited though, my number one is still Iwa-chan.”

“I’m glad,” Ushijima says, “that we’re friends now.”

Oikawa stares at him and then pushes him teasingly at his side. “God, stop this. You’re being awfully blunt again, it’s embarrassing. It’s no big deal.”

“It is for me. You used to _hate_ me.”

“Maybe I still do,” Oikawa says. “You know? Love hate relationships?”

“Love?” Ushijima tilts his head and Oikawa leans back.

“You take everything too seriously. No wonder it took me almost three months to get along with you. Our personalities _clash_.” 

“Apparently, they don’t,” Ushijima states, smiling and the conversation is ended, because their professor enters the room.

* * *

  


The others from the volleyball team notice it too. Notice, that Oikawa not only plays well with Ushijima, no, they actually talk to each other and partner up with each other every time the coach tells them to find a partner.

One day, they ask him what has happened between them in the locker rooms and Oikawa shrugs. 

“I felt bad for him for not having any friends,” he jokes. He looks over to Ushijima, who is listening to their talk and is smiling.

“Don’t get too excited, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa shouts and throws his shirt over Ushijima’s head. The tall man takes it off and that idiot just doesn’t _stop smiling_. It was exhausting. Oikawa grabs his shirt from Ushijima’s hand and pokes out his tongue. “Stop smiling, it might hurt your cheeks.”

Oikawa grabs Ushijima’s cheeks and then laughs, as he squishes them and pulls them apart. Ushijima grabs his arms gently. “Are you done?”

“No,” Oikawa replies. “Let me do this for a while longer.”

Ushijima sighs, but doesn’t move, he doesn’t even move his hands from Oikawa’s arm and just lets him get his way.

“Kuroo! Get your phone here and take a picture!” Oikawa shouts for his tall friend. Kuroo does and Bokuto jumps into the picture. Or well, behind the picture, because he stands up on the bench behind Ushijima and makes bunny ears on his head while Oikawa turns around, faces the camera and winks.

“I’m going to send this to Karasuno,” Kuroo decides.

“Don’t remind me of them,” Oikawa moans and lets Ushijima go.

“That being said, we’re going out this weekend,” Kuroo tells them and puts his phone away.

“Where to? Where to?” Bokuto asks.

“The mall,” Kuroo explains. “Mika said that if Oikawa and Ushijima can be friends, so can I and Daishou and now she invited us all to hang out with him.”

“You think you can do this?” 

Kuroo shakes his head. “Hell no. Daishou is awful, Ushiwaka’s cool. I’m only going to show him how close I am to his girlfriend. That will piss him off.”

“Kuroo, you’re awful!” Bokuto laughs and pats Kuroo on his back. 

* * *

  


Oikawa has heard much about Mika’s boyfriend and he never really knew what to expect. Mika wasn’t like Bokuto, who put her boyfriend as her lockscreen picture nor did he have any pictures of him on Facebook. 

Sure, Kuroo has always described him as a sneaky snake and a little bastard, but Oikawa thought maybe he was just exaggerating. Like he always exaggerated when it came to Ushijima. But Daishou… he was really _something_.

He isn’t exactly short, but he had a small frame, fair skin and was the definition of a rich brat. Oikawa has always thought they were all joking when they were saying Mika deserves better, but damn. It was hard not to judge this guy by his appearance when you see him for the first time. 

He has brown hair with bangs neatly combed to the side and wears the typical rich kids clothes. He wears a grey blazer with a crest on his chest, a green shirt underneath it, beige shorts and brown loafers. All of his clothes are from an expensive brand and he wears a big chunky golden watch on his left arm. And his face… He has such a sly look on it.

Oikawa remembers them mentioning once that Daishou was rich and therefor went to a private university for rich students, but he didn’t think he’d be dressed like _this_. Especially, when his girlfriend Mika is such a sweetheart. Why the hell is she dating him? Is it the money? Oikawa is sure she can do better.

When they see each other, Mika smiles brightly and so does Daishou. Maybe they do really love each other, Oikawa thinks as he watches them jump in each others arms and kiss softly.

Kuroo makes a gag sound. “Cut it off with the PDA,” he says.

“You’re just jealous, because you don’t have the balls to confess to Kenma,” Mika replies and Kuroo ruffles her hair.

“You asshole.”

“Don’t touch my girlfriend,” Daishou says and puts his arm around Mika. He has a lisp, Oikawa notices. A dark aura is formed between him and Kuroo and Oikawa leans to Bokuto.

“Were Ushijima and I like this too?” he asks.

“Oh, no. Ushijima never really acted like he hated you,” Bokuto replies.

“That’s because I never did,” Ushijima explains and Oikawa laughs. After they all introduce each other, they decide to go and grab a bite to eat. Daishou pays for Mika and Oikawa teases her.

“Are you dating him because he’s your sugar daddy?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?” she just bluntly replies and Oikawa stares at her with his mouth wide open, before she starts laughing. “You’re an idiot, Oikawa. I can see that you never had a crush. I’m dating Suguru, because I love him, despite the fact that he’s a snobby rich brat.”

“Thank you, Mika-chan,” Daishou murmurs and she kisses his cheek, making him blush.

“How the hell did you manage to get such a cute girlfriend?” Kuroo asks furiously.

“I’m asking this myself too!” Misaki nods. “Teach me your ways.”

“Of getting a cute girlfriend?” Daishou smirks.

“Why does nobody ask me?” Bokuto asks. “I can give amazing advice too.”

“No, you don’t,” Kuroo says. “No idea how you managed to get Akaashi to date you.”

“Hey, he kissed _me_ first!”

It’s hard to get along with Daishou, but somehow he and Ushijima get along perfectly well. They were window shopping right now and Ushijima and Daishou are looking at a pair of volleyball shoes, while the others stand in about fifteen feet distance, observing them.

“What the fuck is going on?” Kuroo asks.

“I knew it,” Oikawa murmurs, “he’s evil. And evil and evil like to go hand in hand.”

“That’s still my boyfriend we’re talking about here,” Mika says.

“It’s scary!” Bokuto shouts. “It’s… it’s just _weird_.”

“I don’t know. I’m glad to see Ushiwaka getting along with him,” Misaki admits. 

“No, no, it’s wrong,” Oikawa decides. He walks over to Ushijima, loops his arm around the taller guy and looks up to him. “Ushiwaka-chan, are you two done here? I want to go over there.” He points at another shop and Ushijima just stares at their linked arms.

“You’re-…”

“I know what I’m doing, Ushiwaka. Let’s go.”

“Hey, I want to buy those shoes,” Daishou says. “Let’s go inside.”

“Okay.” Ushijima nods and Oikawa pouts.

“Ushiwaka, are you leaving me for him? You barely even _know_ him!”

“You all could also just come inside with us,” Ushijima says and Oikawa looks behind his back to the other four that stare at what’s happening.

Mika starts laughing and then runs towards her boyfriend. “I bet they look great on you. Better than those horrible shoes anyway.” She points at his loafers, takes his hand and enters the shop with him.

Ushijima follows them and Oikawa lets go of his arm, turning back to Bokuto, Kuroo and Misaki. “I tried.”

“You’re idiots,” Misaki says before she enters the shop.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Ushiwaka is in the lion’s den! Or the snake’s den!” Oikawa demands to know.

“You… You tried to save Ushiwaka,” Kuroo says, perplexed.

“You hooked his arm with his. That was… pretty gay,” Bokuto whispers with wide eyes too.

“I can hook arms with whoever I want,” Oikawa snaps and hooks his arm around Kuroo’s. “See?”

“It’s different,” Kuroo says. “We were never enemies. This is like I’d go to Daishou and hug him or something.”

“A hug isn’t the same as this!” Oikawa defends himself. He drags the dark haired male into the shop the others were already standing in. Daishou is sitting on a stool, trying on the shoes while a shop assistant is standing around him with the others.

Ushijima’s gaze goes to Oikawa’s and Kuroo’s hooked arms and Oikawa shouts: “It’s not gay!”

Bokuto bursts out laughing. “Sure, Shittykawa,” Kuroo says and Oikawa freezes.

“Where did you…”

“Oh, Kenma told me that Hinata told him that-”

“Chibi-chan?” Oikawa narrows his eyes. “I always knew there was a bad side to him.”

“He also said he calls you the Grand King, but that isn’t fitting,” Kuuro adds.

“They fit,” Daishou says, smiling. 

“They’re 15,000 Yen,” Hana points out and Daishou looks at her and ask: “So?”

“I hate him,” Kuroo murmurs. 

“Hey, can’t you buy me new knee pads, Daishou-saan?” Oikawa asks, but Daishou just responds with a scoff.

They spend the entire day together, even have dinner afterwards together too, and Oikawa is really surprised by how well Ushijima and Daishou get along. Mika is happy about it and at the end of the day, when they all go back to their dorms, she says they should meet up again some time. 

“Next time, I’m going to bring _my_ boyfriend along too,” Bokuto decides.

They all say their goodbyes and head back to their dorms. It’s late, almost nine p.m. when they are back and Oikawa throws himself on the bed. “That was an exhausting day.”

“Yes, it was,” Ushijima agrees. Oikawa sits up straight.

“Ushiwaka, give me a massage.”

“What?”

“I said it was an exhausting day, didn’t I?” Oikawa presses himself flat on the bed, face into his pillow. “My back aches.”

“You’re not an old man.”

“No, that would be you.” Oikawa wriggles. “Come on, that’s what friends are for!”

Ushijima sighs. “You better sit up, though.”

Oikawa does it immediately. He sits up and lets Ushijima on his bed, which is a first for them. Oikawa closes his eyes and feels Ushijima’s big hands on his shoulders and how they slowly massage his back muscles.

“We should do this more often,” Oikawa agrees.

“Going to the mall?”

“No, Ushiwaka. Massages.” Oikawa chuckles. “But today was fun. I can’t believe you got along with Mika’s boyfriend. He’s so weird, I didn’t even know what I expected, but not him. Well, they say opposites attract, right? Is this why you two got along so well?”

“Daishou isn’t that bad,” Ushijima says. “I played against him in the Nationals once.”

“Did you win?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know if I should be happy about this or not,” Oikawa admits. “I think, my self from three months ago wouldn’t be.” Oikawa throws his head back and opens his eyes, meeting Ushijima’s. “But I guess, now I do.” He smiles and Ushijima stares at him. “Hey, Ushiwaka, you stopped. Continue.”

“Sorry,” Ushijima murmurs before he continues massaging Oikawa. 

“We’ll defeat them again,” Oikawa says. “His university against our team.”

“We will,” Ushijima confirms. “We’re a good team now.”

“Do you mean us, as in the two of us, or as in our entire team?”

“Both,” Ushijima says and Oikawa turns around. 

“Of course we are. We have me as the setter.” He smiles and points at Ushijima’s chest. “I’m still not _your_ setter, though.”

“I think I can live with that.”

Oikawa laughs and Ushijima does too and it’s weird, but also feels great at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (song is thats what makes u beautiful by 1d)  
> also.,, lmao my interpretation of daishou is just that i imagined draco malfoy in a modern AU. snobby rich bastard . i used to hate him so much until the last chapter where i fell in love with nohebi too (god damn it)  
> anyway i love him+mika and the entire kuroo/daishou/mika relationship in general  
> Also idk i like the idea of ushiwaka being the only guy from their gang daishou gets along with


	8. we go until they kick us out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Come on, you want to be the one to take me home later so you can tease me about it,” Oikawa says.  
> “The one who teases is you.”  
> “Oh, talking back? This is getting more interesting!” Oikawa grins and Mika clears her throat.  
> “Stop flirting, you two."

“Did you know that I hate our uniform?” Oikawa asks one day before a big game. He looks down at himself. Maybe he was too used to Aoba Johsai’s uniform.

“Why’s that?” Kuroo asks. “Is it because you’re not the Number One anymore? Trust me, the three of us can relate.”

“You were never the number One?” Oikawa asks Bokuto.

“I was the ace, of course I wore the Number Four!”

“So was he,” Oikawa says, pointing at Ushijima. “But that’s not what I mean. I mean the color. It doesn’t _fit_ me!” He looks down at himself. He didn’t like the dark blue, it really didn’t compliment his skin.

“I think it looks fine,” Ushijima says. His jersey is the number four now, Oikawa wears the nine.

“Flattery gets you nowhere, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa says. “But thank you.”

“Wow, he said ‘thank you’,” Bokutoo whispers in Kuroo’s ear, but loud enough for them all to hear.

Their captain calls them all together and their conversation is ended.

They win this game, even though it was really hard and took a long time. Oikawa is sweating and exhausted by the time they won. Ushijima makes the last point for their team and everyone’s running towards him and cheering, clapping him on the back and shouting.

Oikawa doesn’t. He stands on the outside of this whole mess and drinks his drink, but he watches it. When Ushijima turns to him, Oikawa smiles and raises his thumb. Ushijima walks towards him.

“We made it,” he says. “Thanks to you.”

“Aw, Ushiwaka, what’s up with you today?” Oikawa jokes and puts his hand on Ushijima’s shoulder.

“Oikawa! Oikawa!” Kuroo and Bokuto lift him up on the shoulder and the others cheer too.

“Hey! I’m not even the one who-”

“Yeah, but Ushiwaka’s too heavy and somehow it’d be weird to lift him up,” Kuroo explains and Oikawa laughs. He doesn’t mind being carried around by his teammates and being cheered on. He looks back at Ushijima, who still smiles. Nowadays, seeing him smile isn’t even a rare sight anymore.

 

* * *

 

They find out the girls volleyball team won their game too, and make plans to throw a party. Apparently some of the girls live in a very big apartment, because they are living all together with five people, so they decide to throw the party there.

They all throw together some money and the girls buy the alcohol.

Oikawa looks over to Ushijima. “You don’t have to carry me home this time,” he says.

Ushijima seems to be amused. “We’ll see.”

They get ready for the party and since it’s almost July, Oikawa just wears a t-shirt and shorts. Ushijima has a simple attire too, and they meet up with Kuroo and Bokuto to go over to the girls’ place. Hana and Mika were helping with the preparations for the party.

“So, what are you going to do during the holidays?” Bokuto asks them. The summer holidays are coming up soon.

“Easy, spend the time back at home,” Kuroo replies.

“With Kenma, right?” Oikawa teases him.

“You should just confess, Kuroo,” Bokuto says. “It’s not that hard. Let’s say this, we have a double date and Akaashi and I help you get together.”

Kuroo shakes his head. “It’s not that easy! You just had it easy because Akaashi kissed you before you even realized how hard you were already in love with him.”

“Can you believe I didn’t notice before?” Bokuto shakes his head. “I was such an airhead.”

“Was?” Ushijima asks and Bokuto laughs.

“So, what about you two?” Kuroo asks.

“I’m going back to visit my family,” Oikawa says and Ushijima nods. 

“Me too.”

“We should drive back together, Ushiwaka. Makes the ride with the train less boring. Then again, you don’t talk much, it’s going to be a very boring ride anyway.” That isn’t true. When they are both alone and Oikawa starts rambling, Ushijima isn’t just quiet. Sure, Oikawa still did most of the talking, but it’s not like Ushijima is unresponsive.

“As for today, don’t get too drunk tonight, Oikawa,” Kuroo says. “I’d say I want you two to get some, but sadly there are only girls. Unless, Ushijima, do you like girls?”

Ushijima doesn’t respond, because they’re spotted by Misaki.

“Hey! You’re pretty late!”

“What are you doing outside?” Bokuto asks her.

Misaki points at a girl next to her. “She didn’t know where the place was so I offered to walk her here. Come, let’s go in.” 

The party’s already started, full of the members of both volleyball teams. Oikawa sees the girl that has confessed to him a while back, Aoiki. She spots him too, and smiles at him and waves. She’s talking to their captain. Maybe those two will find each other? Well, at least he is straight, unlike Oikawa.

Mika is talking to one of the girls too, when she sees them and pulls them into hungs. 

“Are you drunk already, Mika-chan?” Kuroo asks.

“Maybe,” she answers, giggling. “Come, the Fujioka Twins are going to mix you guys something great, I swear. They’re much better than you, Bokuto.”

“Hey!”

Twins? Since when did the girls volleyball team had twins? Then again, Oikawa isn’t too familiar with them, so he just shrugs. They follow Mika to the kitchen, but instead of two girls at the counter surrounded by bottles of liquor, there’s a girl and a guy.

“Hey, can you two make some for the four newcomers?” Mika asks.

One of the twins, the girl, looks up and smirks. “Of course. I know you, you’re Oikawa-kun, right?”

“Yeah,” Oikawa replies. 

“I’m Aya, this is my brother Kaito.” She eyes him and sighs. “You’re just as handsome as everyone says. Sadly, I don’t like younger guys.”

“Sorry for my sister, she’s a little bit drunk,” Kaito apologizes. “But the drunker she is, the better are her drinks.”

“We’re not even that late,” Bokuto says. “Okay, mix us something! It better be really good!”

Oikawa watches them. Aya… that was their vice-captain, right? She is really short, but muscular and has short black spiky hair with a ribbon in it, which looks out of place with her tomboy-ish style. As for Kaito… He looks _good_.

Really tall, about as tall as Ushijima, maybe even taller, but with a slender build. His skin is tanned from the sun and his hair is just as black as his sister’s. Oikawa watches him pour them drinks into cups and stares maybe a little bit too long.

They hand them the drinks and Oikawa takes the one from Kaito, who smiles at him. He takes a sip and smiles. “It _is_ good,” he says.

“I have to admit defeat,” Bokuto whines. Kuroo pats on his shoulder.

“We work at a bar,” Aya explains. “You’re freshmen, so you probably don’t know that bar.”

“Try me,” Kuroo says. 

“Barena,” she replies. “It’s right around the corner, so it’s the perfect workplace for the two of us.”

“So you live here?” Oikawa asks Kaito, who nods.

“Yeah. It wasn’t just only girls before, but two of my friends moved out to move in with their girlfriends and somehow Aya got two more of her girl friends to move in and now we’re here,” Kaito explains.

“Lucky bastard,” somebody from the boys volleyball team says. “I wish I could live in a place full of girls.”

Kaito just chuckles. “It’s not as great as you think it is,” he replies.

“Hey! You should be nicer you’re allowed to be here at the party!” Aya smacks her brother on the side.

“How? You’re living in heaven,” the guy from before says.

“For one, I don’t swing that way,” Kaito explains and Oikawa suddenly stands up straight. He notices Kaito looking at him and Oikawa smirks. Maybe this night will be more than just fun. This is, until somebody else asks them to make them drinks and Mika just drags her boys along with her back to the living room.

Oikawa sits down next to some of his teammates who’re miserably trying and failing to flirt with some of the girls. Bokuto and Kuroo are off doing who knows what. Misaki and Mika arrive with a card game and suggest to play a drinking game. Two others join them and have a bottle of alcohol with them, which they hand around.

“So,” Ushijima says and Oikawa puts his cards flat against his chest.

“Ushiwaka, are you trying to cheat? Don’t look at my cards!”

“I’m not trying to cheat.”

“That’s what a cheater would say,” Oikawa teases and Ushijima just shakes his head. It’s his turn to play and he plays his card. When Oikawa doesn’t know what to play, he looks over to Ushijima, trying to get a peak.

“Who’s the cheater now?”

“Come on, Ushiwaka, help a friend out, won’t you?”

“No.” Ushijima smiles and the bottle reaches him, but he just immediately hands it over to Oikawa.

“You’re no fun, Ushiwaka, why are we even friends?” Oikawa takes a big sip and hands the bottle over to Misaki.

“Don’t drink too much,” Ushijima tells him.

“Come on, you want to be the one to take me home later so you can tease me about it,” Oikawa says.

“The one who teases is you.”

“Oh, talking back? This is getting more interesting!” Oikawa grins and Mika clears her throat.

“Stop flirting, you two. It’s your turn, Ushiwaka.”

Ushijima plays his card and seems to be flustered and Oikawa laughs. “The day I flirt with him is the day hell freezes over.”

“I bet you said the same when it came to you becoming friends,” Misaki comments. Sadly, that is true. “I still have the video from karaoke.”

“What video?” one of the girls asks and Misaki laughs and takes out her phone to show them. Oikawa throws his arm around her.

“Come on, Misa-chan, don’t be so mean! I’ll do anything for you!”

Misaki laughs. “Okay, Oikawa, get off me. I won’t show them.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. I’m not an asshole.”

“I would’ve done it,” Oikawa admits. He’s already tipsy from the cocktail and from the bottle they are sharing. 

“She said she’s not an asshole,” Ushijima reminds him and Oikawa laughs.

“When will the moment come when I get tired of your jokes?” Oikawa asks.

“Did hell freeze over?” Mika asks and Oikawa glares at her.

“I’m not flirting. I’d rather flirt with Kaito-kun.” Oikawa lowers his voice so only she, Misaki and Ushijima can hear. 

“Oh, yeah, he’s hot. Not my type, but I can see it,” Mika says.

“You have horrible taste in men,” Oikawa replies.

“I agree,” Misaki adds and Mika looks to Ushijima.

“My taste is not that horrible. You like Suguru, right? Would you date him?”

Ushijima stares at her and then suppresses a laughter. “No.”

“Hey, are you done gossiping there?” one of the other players asks. “We want to continue!”

“Yeah, we’re done! With the game!” Mika shouts and puts her cards on the table. “Sorry, but I have to play wingwoman.”

“Are you serious?” Misaki asks. “What about me?”

“Misaki, I love you, but you’re hopeless. All you say is ‘God, they’re all so gorgeous’ and when I try to hook you up with someone you’re like ‘no, I can’t do this, it’s too much for my heart’,” Mika reminds her and Misaki blushes.

“You’re interested in Fujioka-kun?” Ushijima asks.

“I thought he was hot even before he said he’s gay,” Oikawa replies. “I like tall guys.”

“He plays basketball,” Misaki says. “That’s all I know about him.”

“You like tall guys,” Ushijima repeats.

“Yeah. I think he’s even taller than you!”

“I like tall girls,” Misaki says. “They are so intimidating and pretty.”

“You’re getting gayer when you’re drunk,” Oikawa states and Misaki just drinks more, shrugging. 

“You know,” Mika says, “when you start something with Kaito, the others will know. Just so you know what you’re getting into.”

“Yeah, Aya told us once her brother was openly gay.”

They talk a little bit more, but for some reasons, Ushijima doesn’t talk. However, he finally starts drinking more.

After a while, Oikawa takes the courage to go and talk to Kaito. It’s late already and maybe Kaito has already forgotten him, but then again, how can anyone forget Oikawa? It’s impossible.

So what if his teammates find out he was gay? They were going to sooner and later and Oikawa thinks that now he’s ready. They are all friends and he is a valuable asset to their team. In the kitchen, Kaito is sitting on one of the stools, talking to one of the girls. He’s smoking and Oikawa isn’t really a big fan of smoking, but when Kaito spots him, he smirks.

“I thought I’d never see you again, beauty.”

“Beauty?” Oikawa raises an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah, that’s what you are.” 

The girl talking with him shakes he head. “Kaito, you can’t just hit on the freshman, no matter how cute he is.”

“He doesn’t mind. Does he?” Kaito looks to Oikawa, who laughs.

“If that’s your way of hitting on me, you need to step up your game, Kaito-kun,” he replies and the girl smiles before leaving them alone. They talk for the rest of the night and drink more together. At least, Oikawa can convince him not to smoke in front of him. 

It’s about three a.m., when Bokuto and Kuroo enter the kitchen. “Hey, we’re heading back,” Kuroo says. He’s holding onto a very drunk Bokuto, who’s clinging onto him. “Mika and Ushijima are outside already. He wasn’t feeling well.”

“Is he okay?” Oikawa immediately asks.

“Yeah, just got a little bit drunk and needed fresh air.”

“Drunk? What kind of drunk is he?”

“Eh, I don’t know he wasn’t that drunk,” Kuroo explains. “He was affectionate though. Hugged us all the time. Just like Bokuto now.” He points at his best friend.

“I miss you, Akaaaashi!”

“Bokuto, you left your boyfriend three voicemails already,” Kuroo reminds him. Then, he sighs. “I can’t believe I’m sober again. Anyway, we’re heading back.”

Oikawa looks over to Kaito. To be honest, he doesn’t really want to leave and apparently Kaito notices it too. “You can stay here,” he suggests. “I mean… if you want.” He puts his hand on Oikawa’s thigh and Kuroo raises his eyebrows.

“Being a little bit straight forward, aren’t we?” Oikawa flirts back.

“I suppose that’s how I have to be,” Kaito replies.

Kuroo clears his throat. “Okay, I’ll go then and tell the others. Er, use a condom.” He drags Bokuto with him and out of the kitchen. It’s not like they’re alone, there are still some who are here and haven’t gone home either, for example the girls that live here.

“Want to go somewhere more private?” Kaito asks.

“Define ‘private’.”

“I could show you my room.”

“Just because my friends said this, doesn’t mean I’ll sleep with you. I’m not that easy, you know.”

“Never said you were,” Kaito replies. They do end up making out in Kaito’s bed and it goes a little bit farther than that, but apart from that, nothing much happens. The next day, Kaito lends him a spare toothbrush and some clean clothes to wear after showering.

The apartment is a mess and Oikawa stays to help them clean up a little bit in the kitchen and to eat breakfast with them. Surprisingly, it’s not awkward between them at all and Kaito continues flirting with him, indicating it wasn’t just a one time thing.

Then, he claims he has to do something at the university anyway, so he walks Oikawa back to his dorms which are pretty close by.

“So, when will I see you again?” Kaito asks when they arrive in front of Oikawa’s room, his hands on Oikawa’s hips. Nobody’s here in the hallway, so Oikawa grins, putting his arms around Kaito.

“Mh, I don’t know. Call me.”

“I don’t have your number.” 

“I bet you’ll be able to find it,” Oikawa replies and Kaito laughs.

“You’re a tease.” He kisses Oikawa. “I want my clothes back, though.”

“Next time,” Oikawa promises and kisses him back. That’s when the door to his room opens and they both jump apart to the sight of Ushijima.

“Er, hi. Ushiwaka, right?” Kaito asks.

“Ushijima,” he corrects him. His gaze is cold and firm, but then again, he probably looks like this to every stranger. Kaito seems to be intimidated by it though, despite being taller than Ushijima.

“Uhm, see you, Oikawa-kun,” Kaito says and then leaves.

Oikawa turns to Ushijima. “Did you have to be so rude, Ushiwaka?” He rolls his eyes. “You should be happy I already have him wrapped around my finger or else I’d be angry at you.”

“I don’t like him,” Ushijima states.

“Eh, why not? You should be happy for me, you know.” Oikawa enters his room.

“Those aren’t your clothes,” Ushijima points out.

“Yeah, Kaito lent me them,” Oikawa says and Ushijima narrows his eyes.

“I was about to go do laundry, should I wash them too?”

Oikawa looks down and shakes his head. They were too big for him, but he liked the idea of wearing someone else’s clothes. “No, I think I want to stay a little bit longer in them.”

Ushijima doesn’t reply and after a while, silently nods. “Do you like him?”

“Ushiwaka, I’ve only known him for a day!”

“You spent the night with him.”

“That’s no big deal. We’re not in the eighteenth century anymore,” Oikawa replies. “But he is cute. Aw, are you jealous?”

Ushijima stares at him. “Why would I be-”

“Don’t worry, Ushiwaka, you’ll find someone one day too who keeps up with your stoic self! You and Kaito wouldn’t fit together anyway.” Oikawa smiles. “There’s a pot to every kettle!”

Ushijima runs his hand through his hair. “I’ll go do the laundry now.” He leaves the room and Oikawa only later notices, Ushijima forgot the laundry basket. He waits for him to come back, but he doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oc appears so who doesnt like that ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> anyway. i might have died with the newest hq chapter, my cow son is back! (and my fav team, which is shiratorizawa)
> 
> /song is tik tok


	9. do I see what I think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa turns around and walks back to his family and Iwaizumi. They all stare at him. “What?”  
> “You just hugged Ushijima. For a very long time,” Iwaizumi says.  
> “You hate him,” Oikawa’s father says. “We know how pissed off you always were after a game.”  
> “You know we’re friends now. I told you,” Oikawa says.  
> “But you hugged him!” Iwaizumi says.

Two weeks pass and the summer holidays start. Oikawa meets up with Kaito once during that time, because both of them are way too busy to meet each other more often. Every time Oikawa was free, Kaito wasn’t or vice versa. It’s not too bad, they are constantly text each other.

It’s not like Oikawa has a crush on him, at least he doesn’t think so. He just feels like that’s not what he is feeling. But he’s getting there… he thinks. It’s nice to hang out with Kaito and it’s the first time he is going out with a guy.

Sadly, they won’t see each other for a long time, because Oikawa is planning to stay in Miyagi over the whole break. He isn’t really torn up about this, Oikawa likes Kaito and he is hot and a good kisser and he doesn’t get tired talking to him, but that’s it.

It’s not like he’s going to miss him so much he’ll cry his eyes out. He does, however, come to the train station to say his goodbyes. Oikawa has two suitcases with him, one of which Ushijima carries for him after a while of begging. Bokuto, Kuroo, Mika are there too. Misaki’s family visited Tokyo over the weekend and she is showing them around the city, so she is taking the train the day after tomorrow. 

“We’ll miss you,” Mika says. 

“Yeah, don’t turn off the group chat notifications,” Bokuto adds.

“I’d never do that,” Oikawa says.

“You’re the one who posts most stuff. And it’s usually selfies!” Kuroo complains.

“Kuroo, turn on the notifications again!” Mika hits him. “I’m going to post a lot of selfies with my boyfriend too.”

“I will never turn them on ever again,” Kuroo replies. “I can already see Bokuto constantly taking pictures of Akaashi.”

“Hashtag ‘he is so cute!’” Kuroo and Mika shout in unison. Oikawa laughs.

“Please, as if you’ll be any better with Kenma.” He turns to Kaito. “Well, I have to go then.” They hug each other and Kaito gives him a kiss on his cheek.

“Don’t forget to call me,” he says and then Oikawa hugs his other friends before they enter the train. Ushijima and he finds free seats in one of the cabins. Nobody else is there and Ushijima puts their luggage up, while Oikawa sits down.

“I can’t wait,” Oikawa says, “until we’re back in Miyagi.”

“It’s not too long,” Ushijima says and sits down across from Oikawa.

“So, what are you going to do?” 

“Spend time with my mother and dogs, meet up with my former teammates and visit my uncle,” Ushijima answers.

“Uncle?”

“He has a farm.”

“Oh, yeah, you had a picture of you in a cornfield on your table,” Oikawa says. “Your uncle has a farm. I think I’d die out there because of allergies.”

“You don’t have any allergies.”

“I might have a horse allergy! Which is why I didn’t want to go to Shiratorizawa.” They both know it’s a joke and Ushijima smiles. Oikawa laughs and he can’t believe that he actually laughs about this now. Months ago, the thought of going to Shiratorizawa would’ve made his blood boil in rage. Now, he was sitting across his rival and laughing and making jokes about it.

“They don’t have horses. Just chickens, cows and pigs,” Ushijima says. “And of course, cornfields.”

Oikawa thinks about it. “That actually sounds nice.”

“Why that?”

“Cornfields, Ushiwaka! I could go out there and shout for the aliens to come and get me!”

Ushijima furrows his brows. “Why?”

“Don’t you know about aliens and- forget it. You’re just not into pop culture reference. Wait, that’s not even pop culture anymore. How old are you, grandpa?” Oikawa teases. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not into that. I like stars, though,” Ushijima says. “My uncle is obsessed with them and every time I was visiting, he taught me the constellations.”

“That is so cool!” Oikawa shouts. “Does he have a telescope?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa jumps forward and grabs Ushijima’s shirt. “You have to show me!”

Ushijima smiles. “If you want, you can come and visit too. It’s not that far away.”

Oikawa sits down next to Ushijima. “Really? Ushiwaka, why have you never told me this before? You know I’m obsessed with outer space!” He shakes his friends’ shoulder. “Do you think your uncle’s family is okay with this? You’re close, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I used to spend all my breaks over at his place,” Ushijima says. “When I was a child I wanted to become a farmer.”

“But?”

“I discovered volleyball.”

Oikawa looks at him and then smiles. “Aw, that’s so cute, Ushiwaka. But, hey. I’m glad you gave up on the farmer dream, I doubt anyone wants to date a farmer. Don’t tell your uncle I said this, I take it back.”

Ushijima chuckles. “I’m glad I discovered volleyball.”

“Eh, I don’t know. Maybe I would’ve gone to Nationals if it wasn’t for you.” Oikawa sighs and sits back. 

“We will this year,” Ushijima promises and Oikawa nods.

“Yeah. Because you have me as your setter this time.” Ushijima is surprised by those words and Oikawa looks down, flustered. “Don’t be so surprised, Ushiwaka. I meant those words. I’m your setter and you’re my wing spiker. But not ace, that place is forever reserved for Iwa-chan.”

“Thank you,” Ushijima just says, but he’s smiling so brightly, showing his dimple on his left side.

“You make this more awkward than it has to be. Don’t be so damn happy about this!” Oikawa says. “It’s no big deal.” He takes out his phone. “Let’s take a selfie, I’m going to send this to the Peadicks.”

Peadicks was what the group chat of the six of them was called. It is an innuendo, because their university’s mascot is a peacock. It has been Mika and Kuroo’s idea and no complaining from Misaki could convince them to change it. Oikawa puts the phone in Ushijima’s hand.

“You have longer arms.” Ushijima sighs and holds out his right arm to take the picture. Oikawa makes his signature V-sign and pokes out his tongue and Ushijima takes a picture.

“You’re not smiling!” Oikawa complains. He saves the picture never the less and sends it to the group chat. He also takes some more selfies of himself and some snapshots of Ushijima and puts them on his Snapchat history.

They joke around more, when suddenly the train stops. An announcement is made over the speakers, saying that the train has some major issues which are going to be fixed and that they hopefully can continue their ride soon. 

“How is this fair?” Oikawa groans. “We were almost there!”

Ushijima looks at his watch. “In one and a half hour.”

“That is _almost_.” It wasn’t, but Oikawa doesn’t care. He’s pissed. “You have to entertain me now, Ushiwaka. I don’t want to be bored to death waiting.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. Tell me a story,” Oikawa suggests. “I’m going to sleep.”

“You want me to tell you a story when you’re sleeping?”

“Ever heard of Goodnight stories?” Oikawa asks. “It doesn’t have to be a story. Just talk. And try not to be too uncomfortable.”

“What do you mean-” Ushijima says, but then Oikawa lays his head on his shoulder.

“Your shoulder is way too hard,” Oikawa complains and closes his eyes. “Give me your jacket.”

Ushijima takes the jacket he has put on his seat and drapes it over Oikawa’s body, who smiles as a response. “Always being so considerate, Ushiwaka. Now, talk to me.”

He snuggles into Ushijima’s shoulder and it’s not that uncomfortable, but it isn’t perfect either. But then, Ushijima opens his mouth and tells him about fucking vegetables and when it’s the perfect time to plant them or harvest them and how you know when they’re ripe.

Oikawa starts laughing after a while.

“What?”

“This is the worst story I’ve ever heard,” Oikawa explains. “It’s so _you_.”

“It’s not a story,” Ushijima defends himself.

“It’s boring.”

“Boring stories make you fall asleep.”

“You’ve got a point. Continue.” Oikawa closes his eyes again. 

* * *

  


Somebody shakes him awake. Oikawa opens his eyes and notices that he has somehow fallen from Ushijima’s shoulder into his lap. He looks up.

“Are we there?” Oikawa asks and rubs his eyes.

“Yes, almost.”

“What time is it?” Oikawa sits up.

“Six pm.”

“We should’ve been there an hour ago! Oh no, Iwa-chan and my family is waiting for me!” Oikawa slaps his own face lightly.

“I called them and told them about the delay,” Ushijima says and Oikawa stares at him.

“I guess it’s a good thing we’re friends now, Ushiwaka. How do I look? I can’t face my family for the first time in months and look horrible.”

“You look great,” Ushijima assures him, but Oikawa checks himself in his phone.

“You’re right,” he says. They get together their stuff and the train stops. He can’t wait to see his family and his best friend again. Skyping and calling wasn’t enough for Oikawa.  “Who’s waiting for you?”

“My mother.”

Oikawa nods and when they get out of the train, it takes him a while to spot his family. “I’ll go to them,” he says and leaves Ushijima and runs towards his parents and Iwaizumi. He throws himself first into his best friend’s arms and Oikawa really has expected Iwaizumi to just push him away and call him ‘Trashykawa’, but he hugs him back.

Well, it was only natural. They haven’t seen each other in months and they used to see each other every single day since they were kids. 

“Oh my, Iwa-chan, you must’ve missed me so much!”

“Shut up, Trashykawa,” Iwaizumi says, but he doesn’t push him away and Oikawa grins. He then turns to his parents, who hug him too.

“So, who did Ushijima call?”

“Me,” Iwaizumi says. “Where did he even get my number from?”

“Who knows.” Oikawa shrugs and looks around. “Where is he anyway?”

“I still can’t believe you’re friends.”

“Come, Tooru, we’ll go home,” his mother says.

“Wait, I have to say goodbye to Ushiwaka first.”

“You’re _really_ friends.”

Oikawa spots Ushijima. He’s standing in front of a woman, his mother most likely. Their eyes meet and it looks like Ushijima is unsure what to do, so instead, Oikawa walks up to him. He greets Ushijima’s mother first and introduces himself before turning to Ushijima.

“I guess this is a goodbye,” Oikawa says. 

Ushijima nods and Oikawa laughs. “Come here, Ushiwaka and hug me.” It’s awkward at first, how Ushijima walks over him, leans down and puts his arms around Oikawa, careful and not really touching him. Oikawa hugs him back and squeezes him.

“ _This_ is how you hug.”

“Will we see each other during the break?”

“Of course,” Oikawa replies. “You promised to show me the stars and to take me to the farm. I also want to meet Ryo and Kyo. _And_ it’s my birthday and I expect a present from you.”

“It’s my birthday too,” Ushijima says and Oikawa grins.

“I like being reminded I’m older than you.” He pulls back. 

“You’re the old man then,” Ushijima replies and Oikawa laughs. 

“Reply in the group chat! If you ignore all the text like you do in Tokyo, I’m going to hunt you down!” Oikawa turns around and walks back to his family and Iwaizumi. They all stare at him. “What?”

“You just hugged Ushijima. For a very long time,” Iwaizumi says.

“You _hate_ him,” Oikawa’s father says. “We know how pissed off you always were after a game.”

“You know we’re friends now. I _told_ you,” Oikawa says.

“But you _hugged_ him!” Iwaizumi says. “I didn’t think it’d go that far! I can’t wait to tell Mattsun and Makki.”

“Don’t you dare.” Oikawa can imagine them making fun of him. They knew he and Ushijima were friends now too, but probably not to what extend. They both had told him he was crazy, when Oikawa admitted it. “He’s not that bad. Maybe you should meet and-”

“Oikawa, what the hell happened to you?” Iwaizumi asks.

If only they knew Oikawa has fallen asleep on Ushijima’s lap earlier.

 

* * *

 

They all meet up with their former volleyball team at their old school and visit the gym during one of the practices, since their school doesn’t have break yet. They’re greeted, the new first years are all in awe of the former team members and their coach tells them they should play a bit and teach them a thing or two.

Oikawa talks with Yahaba, the new captain and gives him some encouraging words, not that Yahaba really needs them. “I hope you and Mad Dog-chan are getting along?”

Yahaba blushes. “Yeah.”

Oikawa is surprised by this reaction and then smirks. “I take you get along _really_ _well_ then?”

Yahaba shakes his head. “I don’t need to hear this from somebody who _hugged_ Ushiwaka.”

Oikawa gasps. “Iwa-chan! You _told_ them!” he shouts all over the field to Iwaizumi, who is currently talking to Kunimi and Kindaichi.

“What are you even shouting about?”

“You told the about me and Ushiwaka! I thought this was confidental!”

“Wait, you and Ushiwaka?” Watari asks. “I thought you’re just friends.”

“We are just friends!” Oikawa quickly says. “Don’t get wrong ideas. I’d never date Ushiwaka.”

“You also said you’d never be friends with him and yet here we are,” Matsukawa teases. 

“He’s- _Forget it_. You need to respect your senpai more, Yahaba.” Then, Oikawa raises his voice, so Kyoutani can hear him too. “I’m glad you and Mad Dog-chan are getting along fine and are dating now!”

Yahaba opens his mouth and flushes. “We’re not dating!”

Kyoutani blushes too, their puppy love is actually _cute_. But unlike Yahaba, he doesn’t calm down, no, instead he runs out of the gym. Oikawa just laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (song is low by flow rida)
> 
> also the ""summer holiday arch""" is my fav form this story so far its very fluffy so ,, prepare for fluff
> 
> btw..,, i wrote the first smut scene for this fic yesterday. not a good idea. did it on the train on my laptop. turned around to see a guy staring at me
> 
> Is2g the things i so for u, u better be grateful


	10. who turned the temperature hotter?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He starts licking the popsicle and closes his eyes. It felt so good, so nice and cold and refreshing. Oikawa starts sucking on it and moans. “It’s so good, Ushiwaka. I want more! Do you have more?”
> 
> When Ushijima doesn’t reply, Oikawa opens his eyes to look at him. Ushijima is just staring. “Is something wrong?”
> 
> “No. I, er, no. We don’t have more, those were the last ones.”

They meet up the day before Oikawa’s birthday.

It’s weird. A few months ago, he thought he would cherish the break so much and spend as much time with Ushijima apart as he can and avoid ever having to cross path with that guy.

Now, he was going to spend two days at Ushijima’s uncle’s farm. He had already met Ushijima’s mother and is going to meet his dogs and his uncle and aunt too. On top of it, Ushijima met Oikawa’s parents already when he picked him up and even stayed for some tea.

It’s crazy.

“We’re only spending a night there,” Ushijima says and looks at Oikawa’s big backpack.

“Ushiwaka, please, you know me. My mom had to force me to pack less,” Oikawa replies. “There’s a lot of things in here, you know! Sun cream, I can never go without sun cream. Sun glasses, a hat, clothes-”

“I understand,” Ushijima just says.

“It’s way too hot for a car,” Oikawa complains when they get in the car. He should’ve gotten a driving license too, but that was unnecessary money, considering he doesn’t really use it. Oikawa is confused why Ushijima has one in first place.

Oikawa turns down the window and looks out, closing his eyes and letting the sun warm his skin.

“Ushiwaka?”

“Yes?”

“Do you have ice cream at your home? Is your mother home?”

“Yes and no.”

“Fine enough. Are they popsicles? I prefer water ice.”

“I think we have both.”

Oikawa is fine with that and shuts up for the rest of the ride. They arrive at Ushijima’s family home. It’s really big and open, which is understandable, since they have two big dogs. When he opens the door, the first thing that happens is one of the dogs running Oikawa over and he falls on his butt.

The dog wiggles his tail and sniffs Oikawa. “Ryo, right?” Oikawa asks, while he pets the Shepherd.

“Yes.” Ushijima offers him his hand and this time, Oikawa doesn’t hesitate, when he grabs it and is helped on his feet. “I think he likes you.”

Ryo follows Oikawa with his wiggling tail and Oikawa laughs. He takes off his shoes and Ushijima shows him the living room, where Oikawa waits, while Ushijima gets them drinks. Oikawa pets the dog.

“So, where’s your wife? Is it weird if I call her your wife? Your lover?”

Ryo licks Oikawa’s cheek and Oikawa screams.

“What happened?” Ushijima asks, when he enters the room with a tray.

“Your dog licked me!”

“He does that,” Ushijima says.

“It’s _disgusting_.” Oikawa wipes his cheek with his underarm. “I don’t even let a _human_ lick my cheek.”

Ushijima chuckles. “Here are the popsicles.”

Oikawa picks the pineapple flavor and unwraps the popsicle. “I needed this,” he says. “It’s way too hot here. Don’t you have a fan?”

“We’re leaving soon anyway. You just wanted to meet my dogs,” Ushijima reminds him.

“Where is Kyo? Does she lick too?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa groans and lays down. “She better not lick my ice cream. It’s mine to lick.” He starts licking the popsicle and closes his eyes. It felt so good, so nice and cold and refreshing. Oikawa starts sucking on it and moans. “It’s so good, Ushiwaka. I want more! Do you have more?”

When Ushijima doesn’t reply, Oikawa opens his eyes to look at him. Ushijima is just staring. “Is something wrong?”

“No. I, er, no. We don’t have more, those were the last ones.”

“What a shame!”

Ushijima gets up. “I’ll search for Kyo. She’s probably sleeping.”

Oikawa shrugs and looks back to Ryo, who is waiting to be petted by Oikawa again. He scratches the dog behind his ears and then Ushijima walks in again with the Akita. “Aah! Kyou!” Oikawa widens his eyes and the dog immediately walks towards him and starts sniffing him. She gets nearer and nearer until Oikawa falls down again and laughs.

“She’s no- Kyo- please don’t get near my face or my popsicle!”

Ushijima whistles and the dog leaves Oikawa and goes back to Ushijima, resting her head on his lap.

“You trained them well,” Oikawa says and gets back to licking his water ice.

“Thank you.”

Oikawa eyes the popsicle Ushijima has barely touched. “Don’t you want to?” Oikawa asks him. He’s already finished with his and sucks on the popsicle stick, hoping to get the last drop out of it.

“What?”

“You don’t eat your popsicle. It’s going to melt,” Oikawa says. “Do you even want it?”

“Not really-”

“Thank you, Ushiwaka!” Oikawa crawls forward and licks over the popsicle and then takes it out of Ushijima’s hand. “Now I have my germs over it and you can’t eat it anymore.”

Ushijima stares at him and blushes. “I- I had my germs on it _first_.”

“I got it last.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“Ushiwaka, just shut up, you weren’t going to eat it anyway and I’m dying over here!” Oikawa closes his eyes and Ushijima sighs.

“We should get going. Say your goodbyes to the dogs.”

* * *

  


Oikawa puts on his sunglasses in the car and sighs, when he’s finished with the popsicle.

“Next time you invite me over, buy more,” Oikawa complains.

“No, thank you.”

“What kind of hospitality is that?” Oikawa starts playing with the radio until he finds a good channel that has some great pop music he can sing along with. “Remember when our captain made Bokuto and Kuroo get us along?”

“Of course.”

“Remember the karaoke night?” Oikawa laughs, thinking about that memory. “We should do that again.”

“If you want to.”

“I hated you so much. I haven’t even seen the video Misaki took, but I bet it’s funny to look at,” Oikawa continues. “Not the way I dance, that’s _great_. You don’t know how hard it was to keep a straight face when you have to seduce your greatest enemy.”

“It wasn’t exactly easy for me too,” Ushijima admits.

“I was mad you weren’t reacting,” Oikawa says. “That has never been the case.”

“You think too highly of yourself,” Ushijima jokes and Oikawa chuckles. He stretches his arm out of the window and closes his eyes and starts to sing along to the song. “Sing along, Ushiwaka.”

“I’d rather not.”

“You can sing, you’re wasting your talent!” Oikawa turns around and lowers his voice and pretends to sound like Ushijima. “You could do so much and yet, you choose against it. All because of your worthless pri-”

Ushijima laughs and ruffles Oikawa’s hair. Oikawa is too surprised by the reaction to say something, too surprised by how carefree Ushijima laughs and how he even throws his head back a little bit.

“Eyes on the road, Ushiwaka!”

“Okay, fine, I’ll sing with you.”

They sing out loud in the car and at one point, Oikawa even records it and puts it in his Snapchat history. He gets some snaps as a reply from Bokuto, who is hanging out his boyfriend, and Misaki. Behind her is the entire team of Johzenji and on screen her caption says ‘Wish I was there’. Oikawa grins, sends her a picture back of him poking out his tongue into the camera and types: ‘no!!! vip only! :p :p’.

* * *

  


Oikawa had gotten so used to the air in Tokyo, that being here on land was just so refreshing. He puts his head back and closes his eyes. “Ushiwaka, can we sleep under the stars?”

“If you like mosquito bites,” Ushijima replies and gets out their luggage.

“You have to ruin all fun, you know?” Oikawa opens his eyes again and helps his friend. They walk towards the farm that belongs to Ushijima’s uncle. Apparently, his oldest daughter lives in another city and the son is studying Agriculture in his last year right now and is six years older than Ushijima, which is apparently why they’ve never been close.

“What if I really have an allergy?” Oikawa asks.

“I guess we’d have to get back then,” Ushijima replies and knocks on the door. When nobody opens, he sighs puts down the backpack. “I think they’re on the field.”

“You didn’t forget to tell them we’re visiting, right?”

“Of course not.” Ushijima swallows. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“You sound really serious now, Ushiwaka, I’m scared,” Oikawa jokes. When Ushijima doesn’t joke back, Oikawa realizes it must be serious. Sure, he usually had his serious face, but Oikawa was slowly able to read it now.

“I used to have another cousin,” Ushijima explains. “He was the middle child and only two years older than me. He died during an accident.”

Oikawa gasps. “Oh. Were you… were you close?”

“Not really,” Ushijima admits. “He died last year and ever since… My uncle hasn’t been the same.”

“What does this mean?”

“Sometimes, he thinks I’m him,” Ushijima explains. “We all decided it’s better to just play along.”

“Okay.” Oikawa nods. “Thanks for telling me. What was his name?”

Ushijima hesitates. “Wakatoshi.”

“Are you telling me you had a cousin who has the exact same name as you?”

“We have different surnames. And I’m younger than him, I’d say I had the same name as him,” Ushijima says. “We were both named after our grandfather.”

“I’m not surprised, Ushiwaka.” Oikawa shakes his head and smiles. “Let’s go.”

“Good.”

Oikawa puts down his backpack too, and follows Ushijima, who walks to the back of the farm. They head to one of the barns and find an older man standing there with a wheelbarrow.

“Wakatoshi!” The man smiles and walks up to Ushijima. “I’m so glad you made it.”

This whole same name thing made it more confusing. Did the man think he was his son or nephew now? “I’m glad to be here, uncle. This is-” Before Ushijima can introduce Oikawa, his uncle cuts into his sentence.

“Oh, is this Ando-kun?”

Both Ushijima and Oikawa exchange confuse glances, but the man just keeps on talking and takes Oikawa’s hand.

“I know, I wasn’t the best father to Toshi, but you have to know, I’m very supportive and happy for you two. I just want my son to be happy and you are really handsome.”

Then, both of them realize what is happening. Ushijima gives him an apologetic look and he is about to say something, when Oikawa just laughs.

“It’s okay, Sorai-san! I’m happy you’re supportive of me and Ushiwa- _Wakatoshi_ now. It’s nice to meet you.” He bows and Ushijima’s uncle seems to be smitten by him.

“Such a polite young man. We should go inside for a drink. Your mother is out shopping right now.” Ushijima’s uncle walks towards his home and Oikawa turns to him.

“Did you know?”

“That my cousin liked guys too? No. He never told anyone and neither did my uncle. But I understand now.”

“Understand what?”

“Before the accident, my uncle and him had a horrible fight. He never told us what it was about, but after my cousin died, my uncle kept saying it was his fault, because Wakatoshi drove carelessly because of his anger.”

This must be horrible, for both parties. Oikawa bites down on his lower lip and then looks up. “You don’t mind, do you? That I just played along?”

“No, of course not. I would’ve said something, if I did.”

“Good, _Wakatoshi_.”

* * *

  
They have some drinks and talk to Ushijima’s uncle a little bit. He mostly asks Oikawa about what he’s doing and Oikawa answers truthfully. Later, the man tells them he will bring up the futon soon so they can both sleep together.

Oikawa and Ushijima exchange glances and it looks like Ushijima is waiting for permission. Oikawa just shrugs. “Thank you, Sorai-san,” he says and then he whispers to Ushijima, so that his uncle won’t hear: “You better not take up all the space or touch me. It’s summer and you’re like a human heater, I can’t deal with that.”

Ushijima nods. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The rest of the day is uneventful, they get their things and put them in the bedroom and freshen up. Ushijima’s aunt comes back and they help her cook, but they’re both horrible at it, so she sends them outside to help her husband.

It’s late and Oikawa’s not too keen about cleaning the stalls. Especially after he sees what Ushijima is wearing.

“No way in hell would I ever wear that, Ushiwaka, you know me!” Oikawa shouts and points at the rubber boots and the overall. “You look hilarious. It’s fitting.” He takes out his phone and snatches a picture he sends into the Peadick group chat.

“You don’t have to,” Ushijima says. “You can stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Oikawa waits and waits. He has his sunglasses on, a lot of sunscreen and a hat and is sitting on a bench. A cat comes up to him and snuggles herself on Oikawa’s lap and she wears a collar, so he guesses she doesn’t have fleas and pets her.

He waits for Ushijima to come back, but when he does, his uncle puts a basket in his hand and tells him to harvest the cabbage. Ushijima looks over to Oikawa.

“It’s okay, Ushiwaka, I like seeing you work and sweat,” Oikawa jokes. Ushijima smiles. He has taken off the straps of the overall and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and Oikawa isn’t surprised anymore why he’s so popular. He was really handsome and damn, did he have muscles. Oikawa would be jealous of his biceps, if he didn’t prefer it the way he had them now.

“You know what? I’m going to help you,” Oikawa announces.

“Really?”

“Yes, it’s boring here alone.”

“You want to… harvest cabbage?”

“The way you say it, is like you can’t believe I’m hardworking, I’m insulted, Ushiwaka!” Oikawa walks towards him. “I don’t mind getting dirty.”

Ushijima eyes him and Oikawa sighs. “Okay, I do. But, hey. I have this unnecessary stupid knowledge of when to know when a cabbage is ready to be harvested because of this stupid Goodnight story you told me on the train and I have to use it.”

“You remember?” Ushijima is surprised by this.

“Of course I do. I’m not rude, I actually _listen_.” Oikawa rolls his eyes. “Now, show me how it’s done.”

When they’re finished, they go back and shower before eating dinner. Ushijima’s uncle thinks Ushijima is his nephew again, so the dinner isn’t awkward.

After dinner, Ushijima shows Oikawa around the farm. They stop by the cows and Ushijima pets them.

“I can’t believe you’re petting the cows, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa mutters, but he does too. “They have such long eyelashes, I’m jealous.”

Ushijima stares at him for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter. Oikawa just joins him. He hopes he’ll never get tired of Ushijima’s laugh, because he really laughs nicely.

“You have long eyelashes anyway,” Ushijima says.

“Yeah, and you have none. Have you ever ridden one of the horses from your school?”

“Yes.” Ushijima nods. “I fell.”

Oikawa chuckles. “I wish I could’ve seen it.”

“Tendou took a video,” Ushijima confesses and Oikawa grins.

“Well, tell Tendou to send it to me.” They walk around more until they find a volleyball field and a volleyball.

“Both my father and my uncle used to play volleyball,” Ushijima explains him when Oikawa asks about the field. “My father taught me when I was a child.” They play to each other for a long while, until it gets darker and the sun goes down. Which takes a long while, because it was mid July.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song is burnin up by jonas brothers i cant believe i listened to jonas brothers   
> ps: yes, ushijima still had more popsicles but he didnt wanna risk having to see oikw w them again  
> \+ while i wrote this chapter i made a textpost on tumblr asking "why are cows so pretty" and got called a furry more than once i hope you all are happy  
> also: this chapter originally had a cabbage scene. i watched like videos on how to harvest them and made research but in the end i was like "fuck it who the fuck cares about cabbage"


	11. I could show you incredible things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa turns around and Ushijima is watching him, sitting on the blanket. Next to him is a little candle lamp, its fire flickering and giving them all the light they need.
> 
> “You know, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa says. “This could be super romantic. You could sweep off your significant other with a date like this. If my guy would do something like that for me, I’d be in love already.”

When it’s dark, Ushijima tells him to wait for him to get some things. Oikawa does and when Ushijima comes back, he has a basket in his hand and walks towards one of the barns.

“What is this?” Oikawa asks.

“A surprise.”

Oikawa smirks. “Since when do you know how to surprise me? Or how to surprise people in general? I like it.”

It turns out that there’s a blanket in the basket and Ushijima lays it out for them on the top level of the barn. There’s also the telescope he has told him about and Oikawa is so excited he immediately runs to it and looks through it, without paying to attention to what Ushijima is doing.

“How does this work? This is so cool!” The air here in the countryside is so clear, that the stars can be seen clearly. Oikawa turns around and Ushijima is watching him, sitting on the blanket. Next to him is a little candle lamp, its fire flickering and giving them all the light they need.

“You know, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa says. “This could be super romantic. You could sweep off your significant other with a date like this. If my guy would do something like that for me, I’d be in love already.”

“My aunt gave those things to me,” Ushijima just explains.

“Now you just ruined the mood.” Oikawa looks down at the other things in the basket. “She even packed us food! Your auntie is a sweetheart! My aunt is just awful, she keeps asking me when I’ll have a girlfriend and eats all the food from my plate.”

“Reminds me of a certain someone.”

Oikawa narrows his eyes. “Ushiwaka, I’m going to kick you out of the window if you keep up with this sass,” he replies, but he smiles. “What is this?” He points at a wrapped present that’s in the basket too.

“It’s your birthday in,” Ushijima looks at his watch, “an hour.”

Oikawa smiles. “I know! I just wanted to clarify it.” Ushijima just nods. “Okay, now show me the stars, big boy.” Oikawa kneels in front of the telescope and Ushijima walks behind him, leaning down.

“This is the Finderscope,” Ushijima explains and points on what looks like a mini telescope on top of it. “You use it to… find your target. Look through it with both eyes open.” Oikawa does it immediately and moves the telescope.

“Why do you need it anyway?” Oikawa asks.

“I guess it’s not that necessary for you, because you don’t really have a target,” Ushijima explains. “But it has a wider range view, so it’s easier to find things. The main telescope’s view is narrow.”

“Maybe I have a target.”

“You just want to see the stars. You don’t have a target.”

“Ushiwaka, you really need to lose that attitude of yours,” Oikawa teases. “Okay, what now?” Ushijima explains him a little bit more and when he tells him how to adjust all the little things, Oikawa is exhausted.

“You do it for me.” He leans back, but doesn’t go away, so Ushijima goes down and looks over Oikawa’s shoulder to do it for him. Oikawa can feel Ushijima’s breath on his skin and maybe this was a mistake, but then Ushijima sits back and says: “All done.”

Oikawa smiles. “Yes! Okay, aliens, here I come.”

“You can adjust your focus here,” Ushijima explains and Oikawa nods.

He looks through the lens. “I wish I had one too,” he says. “Not that I’d be able to use it in Tokyo. So, you said you know about the stars?”

“Yes.”

“Is this a constellation?” Oikawa turns to Ushijima, who then takes his turn to look through it. He is by now sitting behind Oikawa.

“It’s Gemini. I think.” Ushijima furrows his brows. “I have a book.” He turns to the basket to grab it and opens it, but Oikawa pulls it from his grip and places it on his lap. He snuggles closer to Ushijima.

“This way, we can both have a look at it,” he explains. He flips through the pages until they find one for the Gemini constellation. “I think you’re right. I need to see the Cancer one! I’m a cancer and tomorrow is my birthday!”

He searches for it in the book. “I’m disappointed. It looks absolutely boring.”

“Do you still want to find it?” Ushijima asks and Oikawa nods. He takes the telescope and moves it, searching for the constellation he has just seen in the book. He groans.

“I can’t find it!”

“Let me.” Ushijima’s arms go around Oikawa’s body and he leans over Oikawa’s shoulder to look through the lens. Is this weird? It isn’t, right? It’s not like either of them had feelings for each other, so it is okay.

Oikawa looks down at the book and starts to read out loud. “The constellation of Cancer represents the giant crab that attacked Hercules during the second of his 12 labors he performed as penance for killing his family. It was sent by the jealous goddess Hera thwart Hercules as he battled the water serpent Hydra, but he killed it with his club.” He closes the book again. “I’m done.”

“Why?”

“Ushiwaka, didn’t you just hear it? My star sign just got killed by Hercules. I _hate_ Hercules. That guy is a poser.”

Ushijima chuckles and Oikawa can feel the man’s body behind him vibrating. “You’re a lion, right? Maybe he killed a lion too. Don’t laugh, you’ll hate Hercules too.” The page is right after his, so it’s easy to find. “Leo is the Nemean Lion, which was killed by Hercules on one of the 12 labors he had to perform for killing his family. According to Greek mythology, the lion that terrorized the citizens had a hide that could not punctured by iron, bronze or stone. Having broken all of his weapons fighting the man-eating lion, Hercules finally strangled it to death and placed it in the heavens as one of his conquests.

Ushiwaka. Every star sign was killed by Hercules. Every single one of them!“

“You only read two,” Ushijima points out.

“I don’t need to read more! There are twelve signs and twelve labors! It makes sense!” Oikawa closes the book. “Have you found it?”

“Yes.” Ushijima leans back again and Oikawa looks through the lens and smiles.

“The crab didn’t deserve to die,” Oikawa declares. “And neither did the lion.”

“The lion terrorized citizens,” Ushijima says.

“Maybe they were rude to him. It was _misunderstood_.”

They look around for a while more, pointing at different constellations and looking through the book to find out what they are standing for. They also eat the snacks his aunt packed for them, until Ushijima’s phone starts to ring.

“Since when do you get phone calls?” Oikawa asks.

“It’s the timer,” Ushijima explains, when he turns it off. “Happy Birthday.”

Oikawa turns his head around and stares at his friend and then smiles. “What, don’t I get a hug?”

Ushijima blushes and reluctantly pulls his arm around Oikawa, who turns to the front again and leans his back against Ushijima’s chest. 

“Do I get a cake?”

“My aunt said she’d bake one tomorrow,” Ushijima replies.

“What, you can’t bake?”

“Can you?”

“Okay, no. What’s the present then?” They part and Oikawa sits down on the blanket across from Ushijima. He pulls his legs closer to his body and wraps his arms around it, watching his friend curiously, as he takes out the birthday present.

Ushijima hands it over to him and Oikawa grins.

“It’s horribly wrapped. Did you do it?”

“I tried,” Ushijima says.

“Tried and failed, but it’s the thought that counts.” Oikawa eagerly opens the present and finds some new knee patches. 

“You said you needed new ones. When we were at the mall,” Ushijima explains. He scratches the back of his neck and god, he is kind of cute when he is this nervous. Oikawa smiles.

“Thank you.” There’s even a card attached to the present. It is really flashy, with a ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ written all over it. When Oikawa opens it, the birthday song starts playing.

_Congratulations on your 19th Birthday.  
_ _I hope we can play together for another year.  
_ _\- Ushijima._

Oikawa bursts out laughing. 

“What?” Ushijima asks.

“Nobody says ‘Congratulations on your 19th Birthday’,” Oikawa explains. “This is the most awkward birthday card ever. It fits you.” He crawls over to Ushijima and hugs him. “I’m glad we’re friends. It was only a few months ago, I hated your guts.”

“I know,” Ushijima says. “I’m glad too.”

Oikawa puts on the knee pads. “They’re perfect. At least you didn’t buy me those ridiculous ones Bokuto wears.”

“I know you dislike them,” Ushijima says. 

“That’s not hard. Everyone but Bokuto dislikes them,” Oikawa says. He opens the birthday card again and starts to hum to the melody. “Ushiwaka, it’s my birthday, you know.”

“I know, I just gave you your present.”

“I want something else.”

“What do you want?”

“Sing for me.”

Ushijima shakes his head. “No.”

“Aw, come on! It’s my birthday! Don’t be a spoilsport!” Oikawa pokes him with his foot. 

“Which song? Happy Birthday?”

“Yes, that would be a start. Look, here’s even the melody to it! It won’t be too awkward.”

“Okay, but you’re not allowed to film it.” 

Oikawa pouts and crosses his arms. “You’re so mean, it’s my birthday. But fine. I won’t record it.”

He closes the card and then opens it again and Ushijima starts singing. It’s just a short and ridiculous song, but it sounds so good when he sings it. When the song is over, Oikawa claps his hand.

“Aw, this was so cute, Ushiwaka! Now, let’s go back to star gazing.”

They stay like this until it’s 2 a.m. and then Oikawa falls asleep against Ushijima’s shoulder, and the taller man wakes him up so they can go back to their room.

“You could’ve just carried me,” Oikawa says, but he goes back to their room without any other complaint. They get ready for bed and brush their teeth next to each other. Oikawa has missed this, even if they’ve only been apart for a short time now. 

When they’re both done with everything, they look down at the futon. “I swear to god, if you get all cuddly during sleep, I will push you down,” Oikawa warns him. “It’s way too hot for that.”

“And if it wouldn’t be, you wouldn’t mind?” Ushijima asks and Oikawa stares at him in the darkness. “I- I didn’t mean it. Forget it.”

Oikawa just pushes Ushijima’s shoulder. “Go to sleep.” He crawls under the blanket and so does Ushijima. They face each other and Oikawa smiles.

“I never thought I’d enjoy the farm life. But eh, I guess it’s nice if it’s only for one day,” Oikawa says.

“I’m glad you like it here.”

“Have you ever…” Oikawa stops, not knowing how to form the question. “Suspected that your cousin is gay?” He rolls on his back and stares at the ceiling.

“No.”

“I guess they don’t suspect it with you either,” Oikawa says, laughing. “I wouldn’t have.”

“I don’t know if I’m _gay_ ,” Ushijima says.

“You had a crush on a guy.”

“Yes, but only one guy,” Ushijima explains.

“Oh, you mean you don’t know if you’re bi or pan? Well, I’m not surprised. You probably have the sex drive of a fridge.” Oikawa looks over to Ushijima, who furrows his brows. “What? Whatever, it’s cute, that you were never attracted to anyone but one person. All you have in mind is volleyball. I bet he plays volleyball too.”

“He does,” Ushijima confesses.

“I wish Kaito would play volleyball,” Oikawa says and closes his eyes. “Then I could talk to him about it, because it’s all what I have in mind too. But all _he_ has in mind is basketball.” He sighs. “At least he’s tall.”

“Do you like him?”

“Of course I do, Ushiwaka, I wouldn’t kiss him if I didn’t.” Oikawa rolls his eyes, not that Ushijima would be able to see it, because it was dark and he had his eyes closed.

“So, do you… have a crush?”

“Ushiwaka, you’re behaving like a teenage school girl during a sleepover,” Oikawa exclaims. “No, I don’t have a _crush_. That even sounds ridiculous. You wouldn’t know, but I’m nineteen now, I’m grown up. I don’t use the word _crush_.” He grins and looks over to Ushijima. “But, there’s nothing wrong for wanting to know what it’s like to be loved, you know?”

Ushijima nods and then turns around. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

* * *

  


When Oikawa wakes up the next morning, it’s so _hot_. Ushijima was so god damn hot, it was exhausting. How could one person radiate so much heat? Oikawa almost wanted to shout at him for not keeping his promise and coming so close, but then he realizes it was him, who got so close to Ushijima.

He didn’t cuddle up to him- thank god- but he has just put his body all over Ushijima’s. He has also gotten off the futon, his head on the floor, one of his feet on Ushijima’s chest. 

“It’s so hot!” Oikawa complains loudly and gets off from Ushijima, who slowly wakes up and rubs his eyes.

“You kicked a lot last night,” he comments.

“You could’ve said something!” Oikawa says. “I’m going to take a shower.” He grabs his clothes and showers quickly with cold water.

They have breakfast with his family and Ushijima’s aunt asks him what kind of cake he likes most. Ushijima helps out in the field again and Oikawa cleans up in the kitchen, because there’s no way he’s going to get all dirty out there. When Ushijima comes back, Oikawa just finished replying to all the birthday messages he got on his phone.

“Ushiwaka, if you’d had more sex appeal, you could model in a sexy farm boys calendar,” Oikawa jokes, when he sees Ushijima. He’s shirtless, his skin is already tan from the few hours he spent outside and sweating. He was way more muscular than Kaito and especially more than Oikawa.

“I’m going to take a shower,” Ushijima declares. “We’ll drive back after lunch.”

“The cake isn’t finished by lunch!” his aunt shouts from the kitchen.

“After the cake it is then,” Oikawa says. “I have time until six p.m. My former teammates are throwing a party for me. We’re having a barbecue! Also, go shower, you reek!”

Ushijima smiles before leaving and heading to the bathroom. They have lunch afterwards and he and Oikawa go outside to play a little bit more volleyball until the cake is finished and they eat it. 

Oikawa likes Ushijima’s aunt and uncle, even if his uncle mostly thinks he’s Ushijima’s boyfriend. He’s hugged by him when they say their goodbyes and get back into the car.

“Ah, I think that was enough farm for me for a lifetime,” Oikawa exclaims, as they drive back and starts playing the radio again. He looks over to Ushijima and trails his finger over Ushijima’s biceps. “It did you good, though. You’re so tan. I look horrible with a tan.”

“I doubt it,” Ushijima replies.

“Drop me off at Iwa-chan’s place, will you? I think it’d be too late if I’d go home first and I can’t be late to my own party,” Oikawa says. He can see all his friends in Iwaizumi’s garden already and smell the food, when they arrive. He gets out of the car and leans through the opened window. 

“I’d ask if you’d like to join,” Oikawa says. “But you’re still their enemy.”

“That’s okay,” Ushijima says. “Enjoy the rest of your birthday. Thank you for coming with me to visit my uncle.”

“I’m such a kind hearted person, it’s in my nature,” Oikawa replies and then walks up to his friends.

“I didn’t think it was true,” Hanamaki says. “But now that I’ve seen it with my own two eyes, I guess it is.”

“Oikawa, don’t start dating him,” Matsukawa adds.

Oikawa laughs. “Come on, I’d never date Ushiwaka. Plus, I’m already dating someone else in Tokyo.”

“Thank god,” Yahaba murmurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why but this is my fav chapter ive written for this fic (so far) (i've written up to chapter 24 i think) i just really like this cute romantic fluff bye
> 
> song is blank space by t swift  
> aaalso, idk i'm kinda in a writing slump. after having written 60k in like 5 days i got a writers block? if i cant get into writing soon again i think i'll only update every second day :'D
> 
> (btw credit to all the zodiac stuff @ space.com)
> 
> ooh and thanks for 100+ kudos!! you're the best :D


	12. when I'm with you everything has disappeared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Put on your lotion for yourself,” she replies.
> 
> “I can’t do it for my back!” Oikawa complains. “Ushiwaka!”
> 
> Ushijima shakes his head, but Oikawa just throws the bottle into his lap and lays down on his stomach. “I’ll do it for you later too. Don’t be so rough.”
> 
> “Can you two stop flirting,” Misaki murmurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every anime needs a beach episode,,,  
> so every fic does too. this is literally how i got the idea for this one

They meet up with the Peadick gang to visit the beach.

It’s been a while since they all saw each other and Kuroo, Bokuto and Mika even invited their boyfriends. Well, Kenma isn’t Kuroo’s boyfriend, but from what Bokuto says, he apparently is interested in him too.

Oikawa can understand that it’s hard for Kuroo to confess. They were childhood best friends! It’s like he’d suddenly would fall for Iwaizumi, that’d be weird. It could ruin the entire friendship. 

They arrive at the beach they agreed to meet up and Oikawa can already sense himself getting a sunburn, even with all the sun lotion he had put on his skin. They spot the others quickly, they’ve all already unpacked their things and spread their towels.

“Oho hoh! The country kids are here!” Bokuto shouts when he sees them. Oikawa winks at them and smiles. The three of them, Ushijima, Misaki and him, walk towards them. 

He spots the two new faces immediately. Akaashi is standing up and is introduced by Bokuto to the others. Kenma on the other hand is just sitting on his towel under an umbrella, playing a game on his PSP and only looks up to nod at them for a greeting.

Both of them seem to be quiet, well Kenma especially, but that’s only fitting. Bokuto and Kuuro are loud enough. So is Oikawa, to be honest. They spread their things next to theirs and Oikawa puts up his beach umbrella to get some shade and protect himself from the burning sun.

He takes off his clothes and starts putting on his sun lotion. “Mika-chaaan, put on the lotion for me!” Oikawa says, but Daishou glares at him.

“Mika, would you put on the lotion for me?” Daishou asks her.

“Of course,” she says to her boyfriend and Oikawa pouts. He turns to Misaki.

“Misa-chan?”

“Put on your lotion for yourself,” she replies.

“I can’t do it for my back!” Oikawa complains. “Ushiwaka!”

Ushijima shakes his head, but Oikawa just throws the bottle into his lap and lays down on his stomach. “I’ll do it for you later too. Don’t be so rough.”

“Can you two stop flirting,” Misaki murmurs.

“It’s not _flirting,_ ” Oikawa defends himself.

“Yeah, I bet Kaito-san wouldn’t be so glad about that,” Mika teases and Oikawa laughs. He and Kaito have texted each other and had some phone calls over the summer. He kind of wants to see him again, but he doesn’t miss him that much. Suddenly, he can feel the cold lotion on his skin and Ushijima’s big hands spreading it all over Oikawa’s back.

He closes his eyes and hums. “You should just go on. It’s a nice massage.”

“Oh god,” Kuroo groans. “I can’t deal with this flirting. Anyone else wants to buy ice cream with me?” He turns to Kenma.

“I can’t, I’m winning.”

“Kenma, we’re at the beach!” Kuroo complains.

“After this level.”

Kuroo sighs. “Okay.”

When Ushijima is finished, he sits back on his heels and Oikawa sits up. “Okay, lay down.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Ushijima says.

“Please, you’ll get a sunburn and I’m not going to nurse you back to health.”

“I don’t think you need to nurse anyone when they have a sunburn,” Mika says.

“Have you ever _had_ a sunburn?” Oikawa asks and she shakes her head. “See?”

“But Daishou had them a lot and-”

Kuroo laughs and Daishou glares at his rival. “Well, at least I have a girlfriend to nurse me back. What does he do except for playing his game?”

Kenma doesn’t react, but Kuroo looks like he wants to rip the hair off Daishou’s head. “She just said she doesn’t nurse you back!”

Oikawa turns to Ushijima and turns him around, so his back is facing him. “They say I’m good with my hands,” Oikawa jokes.

“Who says that?” Akaashi asks.

“Kaito!” Bokuto and Mika shout in unison. Oikawa smiles and starts putting on the sun lotion on Ushijima’s back. He has a nice back, all broad and his back muscles feel great. Oikawa catches himself lingering on them with hands a little bit too long, before he pulls back his hands. 

“Okay, all done.”

After the lotion is set, they all want to dip into the water. Well, except for Kenma, who assures Kuroo, he doesn’t need to stay with him. 

“I’ll join later,” he tells him. Oikawa doesn’t know what he expected this so called Kenma to be like, but not this. They were so completely different, but he guesses it’s why they fit. They understand each other without words.

It starts out with them playing ball to each other, until Kuroo gets angry at Daishou and starts splashing water on the snake’s face. It gets out of control, when Bokuto screams and wants to join them, Akaashi tries to stop him and falls face down into the sea. Bokuto begs for his boyfriend’s forgiveness.

When Akaashi’s eyes are finally cleared from the saltwater he stares at Bokuto.

“Please don’t hate me, I love you-”

And then, Akaashi splashes water on his face and everyone stares at them in silence first, before Kuroo laughs.

“It’s on!”

It all turns into a huge mess and Kuroo runs out of the water to drag Kuroo in with them. He practically _carries_ his best friend in, but they all have a lot of fun. Mika ends up on Kuroo’s back and they both run after her boyfriend, and when Misaki and Bokuto declare war on Oikawa, he hides behind behind Ushijima’s big frame.

“Ushiwaka, protect my chastity!” Oikawa wraps his arms around Ushijima’s neck and jumps on his back, which makes the taller man almost trip at first. “Move!”

Bokuto gets Misaki on his back to run after Ushijima and Oikawa. When Daishou tries to go for Kenma, Kuroo loses his cool, drops Mika, who falls into Akaashi’s arms and yanks Kenma away from Daishou.

It’s exhausting and when later the mess is all cleared up, they head back to sunbathe. Bokuto and Akaashi leave to get ice cream, but they take way longer than they should and everyone knows they probably got distracted in one way or the other.

“Let’s get some ice cream too,” Daishou says, grinning at his girlfriend.

“If that’s another way of saying ‘Let’s make out’, I’m going to say ‘no’,” Mika replies and turns back to her magazine.

Daishou puts his hand on her back. “Please?”

“You can get me ice cream. I’m waiting here.”

Daishou stares at her and sighs. “I’m coming with you,” Oikawa says. “Anyone else?”

Misaki and Ushijima agree to tag along and they all go to the ice cream stand. “The sand is so hot, Ushiwaka, carry me!” Oikawa exclaims and spreads his arms.

“Put on your shoes, then,” Ushijima suggests.

“You’re so cold, I’m hurt.” 

They find Bokuto and Akaashi there, to everybody’s surprise. But then, they see a hickey on Bokut’s neck and Oikawa never would’ve taken Akaashi to be the kind of guy to leave a hickey on his boyfriend, knowing well enough everybody would be able to see.

“I have to call Kuroo! They have a XXL ice cream cup you have to eat under ten minutes and you’ll get it for free! And you can eat it with someone else!” Bokuto shouts.

“I told him it’s a bad idea,” Akaashi explains, but Bokuto doesn’t listen. He runs towards the place the others were sitting and Akaashi sighs. 

It’s a nice day and they later play volleyball against each other, until they meet a group of girls. One of them is tall and has silver hair. She seems to be mixed European and later it turns out she’s Russian and her name is Alisa.

“What is Lev doing?” Kuroo asks her.

“Oh, my brother is meeting up with Yaku-san today,” she explains. “He has been so excited for the holiday break! He must really miss him.”

Kuroo chuckles. “Of course he does.”

Misaki gasps, when she sees her. She has been swimming in the sea and now that she returned, she just _stares_. Oikawa, Bokuto and Mika grin at her knowingly and she blushes.

“Oh, sorry, I haven’t introduced myself to you,” Alisa says. “I’m Haiba Alisa. Call me Alisa.”

“Mikasi. I mean, Hana. Hana, Misaki, er,” Misaki stutters and Mika hides her laughter behind her hand. 

“I have to get back to my friends now, but it was fun meeting you. I’m surprised to see you hang out with the former captain of Nohebi, though,” Alisa says and says her goodbyes to Kuroo and Kenma before she joins her group of girls again.

When she’s gone, Mika, Bokuto and Oikawa burst out in laughter.

“Shut up!” Misaki shouts, the color of her face deepening.

“I know she’s gorgeous, but keep it in your pants,” Kuroo jokes.

“She’s just… Oh my god. She’s so tall and _pretty_.” Misaki hides her face in her hands. 

“I can get you her number if you want,” Kuroo says and Misaki shakes her head.

“I embarrassed myself enough already.”

* * *

  


They eat out at one of the restaurants near the beach and buy some sparklers they light up when it’s nighttime. They hang around the beach a little bit too long and Oikawa wouldn’t be surprised if he’d have a sunburn tomorrow. 

When it’s dark, they get out the sparklers and light them up. They walk around with them, until Kenma announces he forgot something and heads back to their stuff. Kuroo just follows his best friend and those two don’t come back for a very long time. 

Akaashi is sitting in Bokuto’s lap and they’re lazingly kissing each other, not caring for anyone who might see them. The beach is empty and it’s dark anyway, so nobody really cares. 

“Ushiwaka!”

“Yes?”

“Let’s get away from here too,” Oikawa says. He grabs a handful of sparkles, a lighter and his back and drags Ushijima by his hand away until they’re far enough away from the others. He drops down on the sand. It doesn’t matter anymore, that his shorts are getting dirty.

“Sit down.” He pats down on the place next to him and Ushijima sits down. Oikawa puts the sparklers in Ushijima’s hand and lights them up.

“Why are we here?” Ushijima asks him.

“Idiot, I wanted to be alone with you, of course.” Oikawa rolls his eyes.

“But… why?”

“You didn’t tell the others, did you?”

“Tell them what?”

Oikawa sighs. “That it’s your birthday in about…,” Oikawa checks his phone, “ten minutes.”

“You know.”

“Of course I know! Who do you think I am?”

“I never told you.”

“I knew you were a lion. I asked around,” Oikawa explains and Ushijima smiles at him. It’s beautiful, the beach at night with just the two of them. The only sound that they can hear are the waves, the sparkles and some faded laughter from the others, far away.

It was kind of… romantic. For some reasons, Oikawa looks down and blushes. What is this? “And because you and I were alone when I turned nineteen, we’re going to be together when you turn nineteen too.”

“Thank you,” Ushijima says. He’s still smiling and Oikawa’s heart is beating faster.

What is the meaning of this?

“Don’t smile, you’re making this so awkward,” Oikawa scolds him. “I don’t have a cake. Nor will I get you a cake. But I have a present.”

“A present?”

“Yes. Myself, I’m the present.” Oikawa points at himself. “Put a ribbon on my head and I’m going to be the best present you ever had in nineteen years.”

Ushijima stares at him and Oikawa laughs quickly. “That was just a joke-”

“I wouldn’t mind,” he says and they hold their gazes and Oikawa can feel it. He can _feel_ , how something between them changes. He looks away quickly. 

“I’m not giving you myself as a present, that’s pathetic,” he scoffs. “I know, that it’s probably a dream come true for you, but I have to disappoint.”

They watch the sparkles a little bit more and light up two more. When those two stop sparkling too, Oikawa’s phone rings. “It’s the timer,” he explains and turns it off. He takes out a wrapped present from his bag and puts it in Ushijima’s lap. “Happy Birthday, Ushiwaka.”

“You wrapped it nicely.”

“Yes, because I’m more capable than _you_ ,” Oikawa explains. “Okay, my sister helped me.”

Ushijima slowly unwraps the gift and takes out the T-Shirt Oikawa has bought him. It’s white and in front of it is the head of an alien. Oikawa laughs when he sees Ushijima’s confused look on his face.

“You have to wear it. If I see it lying around in your closet, our friendship is over.”

Ushijima smiles. “Okay. I will.”

“Promise?” Oikawa asks, bringing up his pinky. Ushijima just eyes Oikawa’s hand in confusion and Oikawa sighs. He grabs Ushijima’s hand and wraps his pinky around Ushijima’s. His face is burning from the touch. “It’s a pinky promise.”

“I promise,” Ushijima says.

“And now look at the card.”

Ushijima opens the card and the melody of the Happy Birthday song plays too. But this time, it’s Oikawa’s voice singing. “It’s a card that can record your voice! Isn’t that great?”

“You didn’t write anything in it. You just drew a picture of a dog,” Ushijima says.

“You like dogs. Plus, I _sang_ for you. Be grateful, Ushiwaka.”

Ushijima smiles. “I am. Thank you.” He hugs Oikawa and Oikawa tenses at the hug at first, but then hugs him back.

_Oh no, this was_ bad. Does he like Ushijima? That can’t be! But why does he feel different not than before? It was just a hug! And yet, Oikawa didn’t want to let go. He’s even disappointed, when Ushijima does. 

It is different than kissing Kaito, but Oikawa can’t really describe it. “Let’s… let’s go back to the others. And put on the shirt.”

Ushijima sighs and takes off his shirt and Oikawa regrets that he said that, because now he can’t tear his gaze away from Ushijima’s body. _Fuck_. Luckily- or sadly-, Ushijima puts on the new shirt immediately. They gather their things and head back to the others.

Kuroo and Kenma joined them again, and they’re holding hands now.

Oikawa sees it and grins. “Oh! You finally did it! I’m so proud of you, Kuroo!”

Kuroo blushes. “Shut up, Trashykawa.”

“What’s this?” Misaki asks and points at Ushijima’s shirt.

“A gift from me,” Oikawa explains. “It’s his birthday today.”

“Whaaat? Why didn’t you tell us?” Bokuto shouts. “Why does only Oikawa know? Are we not your friends?”

“He didn’t tell me.” Oikawa puts his hand on his chest. “I’m just such a good friend, who asked around to find out when his birthday was!”

Mika giggles. “To think you used to hate his guts just a few months ago.”

Yeah, and now Oikawa doesn’t know _what_ he is feeling for Ushijima.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (song is love me by jbiebs)  
> abt time i introduce kenma and akaashi, right?  
> (and i had to hint at levyaku i just had to)
> 
> also about time oikawa starts to **feel** smth for ushiwaka (after 30k omg)  
> and misaki is pretty much me when i'd meet alisa shes a gem
> 
> btw i'm still suck on my writers block. idk i might not update every day anymore.  
> go talk to me @ tumblr [@aegontargaryen](redrobin.co.vu) about ushioi so i get inspired and over my stupid writers block


	13. Sometimes just misunderstood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh,” Oikawa just says. “What happened to him?”
> 
> “What do you mean?” 
> 
> “I mean. How come you don’t like him anymore? Is it the long distance?”
> 
> Ushijima avoids his gaze. “I never said I don’t like him anymore.”

“What does it feel like to have a crush?”

Mika smiles. “Are you asking because of Kaito?” Oikawa doesn’t reply and she tilts her head. “I don’t know. It’s… kind of nice. 

You know Suguru asked me out and I didn’t even liked him back, but somehow I just thought he was really cute, so I agreed.“

“How did you think he was _cute_?”

Mika shrugs. “He has a reputation, you know. You know what one. And then there he was, a boy from my class I only sometimes talk to and he confessed to me and was so nervous. It was so cute. And I went out with him on a few dates and noticed, that he wasn’t that bad and I like him back.”

“How did you know you like him back?”

“He makes me smile all the time,” Mika explains. “I know, friends do that too. There’s no big explanation, we’re not in a romcom, Oikawa. When you know, you just know. You want to be around them all the time- at least, at first. You want to know everything about them and don’t mind sharing everything about yourself too.” 

The first person Oikawa asks, is also the most helpful.

* * *

 

 

“How do I know I have a crush?” Bokuto scoffs. “That’s easy.”

“You’re just like Mika,” Oikawa says. “You didn’t like Akaashi until he confessed to you.”

“No, that’s different. I know how it was for Mika, she didn’t like him back, but gave him a chance. _I_ just never realized I liked Akaashi! But when he kissed me, it was just…” Bokuto gestures around wildly. “It was amazing! Like a firework! And then the world was turned upside down and suddenly I saw Akaashi in a whole different light and I realized I was in love with him all along.”

Oikawa thinks about Mika’s words. ‘This is not a romcom, Oikawa’. Apparently, for Bokuto, it was.

“This doesn’t help me.”

“What, don’t feel that firework with Kaito?” Bokuto laughs. “It’s different for everyone, I guess. But for me the realization hit me like a train.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you and Kaito hitting it off?” Kuroo asks and Oikawa just shrugs. “I never thought that. I thought you and…”

“Me and…?”

“Nothing.” Kuroo shakes his head. “I don’t know. It was a shock for me too, when I realized. I was going to High School and Kenma was still in Middle School and I missed him, because we didn’t see each other as often as usual. I thought about him all day, until one day I realized I had a crush on my best friend.”

“You had a crush on Kenma since High School?” Oikawa asks and Kuroo nods, smiling. “God, this took you two long enough. I’m glad you’re finally together then.”

“Yes, I am too.”

“So… missing a person means you have a crush on them?”

“I guess also thinking naughty thinks about them counts too,” Kuroo adds, grinning. “Because when I woke up to my first wet dream about Kenma-”

“Kuroo, I don’t want to hear this.” Not that it stopped Kuroo from telling him anyway.

* * *

 

Who would think Misaki would give the worst advice?

“Okay, so first of all, I don’t know,” she said. “Is it because of Kaito? He’s hot.”

“You don’t know? You never had a crush?”

Misaki blushes. “I do. I just have crushes constantly.”

“What is that suppose to mean?”

“You know the girl working at the cafeteria? I feel all happy when she smiles at me and I think about giving her my phone number every time, but I don’t. Then, there’s this cute girl in my Chemistry class, who smells so nice and she always sits down next to me, but we barely talk. And there’s this girl on the volleyball team, who I’m sure is flirting with me and I try to flirt back, but I’m never sure,” Misaki explains.

“You have a crush. On everyone.”

“Only cute girls. It’s temporary crushes,” Misaki explains. “I just think about them a lot and hope they hit on me.”

“Misaki, your advice is horrible! How does it help me?”

“Oh, right, you and Kaito already are… involved.” She hums and shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ve never been in a relationship.”

“Who out of all the girls would you like to date then, Misaki?”

“Alisa Haiba,” she immediately shoots back. “She is just. So _tall_ and _pretty_.” Misaki hides her flushed face in her hands. “Kuroo gave me her number, I don’t know what to do.”

Oikawa helps her send a message to Alisa that day.

* * *

 

Maybe, he shouldn’t just ask the source that makes Oikawa question all this himself.

“How do you know you have a crush, Ushiwaka?”

They’re sitting next to each other on Ushijima’s bed and studying. Ushijima drops his book.

“Why are you asking?”

“Am I not _allowed_ to ask?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“I asked the others too, don’t worry. Mika’s answer was the best, for your information.” Oikawa looks down at his notes and rearranges his glasses on his nose. “Bokuto said something like that the kiss was a life changing moment and suddenly there were fireworks and he just _knew_. Kuroo mentioned that he just really missed Kenma and had a wet dream about him and Misaki just rambled about how cute girls are.”

Ushijima curls his lip up at the mention of Misaki. “And you had a crush once too, you know? How did _you_ know?”

“I…” Ushijima hesitates. “I just wanted to talk to him and be close to him all the time. I searched for every opportunity to talk to him and wanted him to notice me.”

“Wait, he wasn’t on your team?”

“What gave you the idea?”

“I didn’t know you had friends who weren’t on your team,” Oikawa explains. 

“He wasn’t my friend.”

“Oh. Right, you said you wanted him to notice you.” Somehow, talking about this makes Oikawa jealous. “Aw, Ushiwaka, that’s so cute. _Senpai, notice me_!”

Ushijima furrows his brows and shakes his head. “Does this answer your question?”

Oikawa doesn’t know. Maybe. “Why did you like him?”

“What?”

“You weren’t friends and didn’t really talk to each other. Why did you even like him in first place? Was he hot?”

Ushijima blushes and now Oikawa really needs to know who it is. And maybe kick that guy’s ass for not returning Ushijima’s feelings, because how could you _not_? 

“I suppose he was very… attractive,” Ushijima admits. Oikawa can feel he’s uneasy about this topic, but it was cute. “He’s beautiful. But that wasn’t the reason. He was- he _is_ \- a very good player.”

“I’m not surprised you just liked a guy because he was a good volleyball player!” Oikawa shouts.

“That’s not it. He was determined, confident and was a very good team player. He pushed himself to get better every time and even after every defeat, never gave up,” Ushijima continues. “I admired that. He was also very frustrating and made me just…” He clenches his fist and takes a deep breath. “Really worked up sometimes over some things. I never react as strongly to anyone else as to him.”

Oikawa watches Ushijima speak and a part of him shatters.

Someone makes Ushijima more worked up than Oikawa does. This makes him so incredibly angry. Sure, it is in the past, but back then, nobody made him so worked up like Ushijima did. How dare another person make Ushijima angrier? How come Ushijima fell for that person and not for _him_?!

“Oh,” Oikawa just says. “What happened to him?”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean. How come you don’t like him anymore? Is it the long distance?”

Ushijima avoids his gaze. “I never said I don’t like him anymore.”

_Oh_. His anger is gone. Instead, Oikawa is just really disappointed about this. He looks down at his notes again, doesn’t know what to reply, because he thinks he has a crush on Ushijima. On his former rival, out of all people! 

Misaki is right. He wants to be around Ushijima all the time, he likes listening to him talk, likes finding out little things about Ushijima’s life and likes to get reactions out of him.

Maybe, Bokuto is right too. It’s not like he described, there wasn’t fireworks (unless those sparkles counted), it wasn’t like the world was turned upside down. But for some reasons, Oikawa sees him in a different light.

Kuroo, well, he is a little far from the way Oikawa felt now. Mainly, because he and Ushijima aren’t separated, so he can’t miss him. He does, however, feel awful that it isn’t him who Ushijima longs for. Ushijima wants some other guy, some volleyball player who makes him more worked up than Oikawa does. 

And Misaki… Well, Ushijima was really attractive. He is tall, broad, musuclar, he has nice big hands and while somebody should just style this man’s hair, his hair is really nice. And his eyes had such a strong gaze and…

“Oikawa?”

“Sorry. Well, Ushiwaka, I hope it works out for you and your crush!”

“I doubt it,” Ushijima replies.

“Aw, don’t say this! You’re not as bad as you think and you’re not that bad looking. Just smile more and don’t just reply with one sentence all the time and everyone will fall for you!” He must know, because Oikawa has.

 

* * *

 

“Kaito?” Oikawa asks him one day, when they come back from one of their dates and Oikawa is sitting on his lap after a make out session.

“Yeah?” Kaito replies, looking up.

“How do you know you have a crush?”

Kaito seems to be surprised by this question. “Do you have a crush on me?”

“Obviously I wouldn’t ask if I do.” No, he doesn’t. He has a crush on Ushijima, but it _can’t_ be. It was useless, Ushijima liked someone else anyway.

“You’ve never had a crush,” Kaito states.

“You’re not really smart sometimes, are you?”

“I thought you have dated before.”

“I have, but I’ve obviously never liked someone.”

Kaito sighs. “I don’t know man. It’s not like in the movies. In the end, ending up with someone’s just… you know, hanging out with someone you can talk to and have fun with. And then kiss and other stuff I guess.”

“Wow,” Oikawa says. “How romantic.”

Kaito chuckles. “It’s true. It’s not about finding your other half that makes you better and redeems your bad qualities or some shit like that. You just fall for the person you feel comfortable around with and are attracted to. It’s easy.”

God damn it, those were all things he felt for Ushijima.

“Do you feel like this for me, Kaito?” Oikawa asks and Kaito kisses his cheek.

“I thought we made this clear. I wouldn’t date and go out with you, if I wouldn’t. I would’ve let it rest as a one time thing,” he explains.

“Okay.” Oikawa nods and sits back.

“What is it? You’re awfully quiet today.”

“Just thinking.”

“You want to… be my boyfriend?” Kaito asks and Oikawa looks at him with a bewildered expression. 

“What?”

“I mean, we do all the things boyfriends do anyway. We haven’t gone, you know, _all_ the way, but, we do other really naughty things,” Kaito explains. Oikawa laughs and punches his shoulder. “I’m just saying. We meet up at least once a week, call and text each other. Pretty much all our friends know we’re going out, and now you’re asking me this stuff. You wanna go steady?”

“Mhm. I… do you?”

“I wouldn’t ask if I wouldn’t want to, you know,” Kaito replies.

Oikawa thinks about Ushijima and maybe this wasn’t fair, but it is the only way to forget about his ridiculous hot and amazing roommate.

“Okay.”

“Good.” Kaito kisses him on the lips.

* * *

 

 

“Iwa-chan, I have a problem,” Oikawa says, when he skypes his friend the same evening. Ushijima is out for a run and Iwaizumi is looking up at the screen.

“You always have a problem,” Iwaizumi points out.

“That’s _so_ not true. You sometimes have problems too, remember? When you and that guy from Dateko had a fight?” Iwaizumi has ended up with one of the former members of Dateko on the same volleyball team in college too.

“Kamasaki.” Iwaizumi scoffs. “We’re good now.”

“Of course you are,” Oikawa says. “Anyway, my problem is bigger. Iwa-chan, I lied.”

“Lied about what?”

“I have a crush on Ushiwaka!” Oikawa shouts and then burrows his face in his hands. “I know, this is so embarrassing, I don’t even want to see the face you’re making right now.”

“You have a crush on Ushiwaka?!”

“It’s not my fault!”

“Whose fault is it then?!”

“Ushiwaka’s! He’s just so… You know, I spent two days at his farm, right? And he showed me the stars! And kind of hugged me from behind! And it was so romantic, and there was a candle, and he gave me a present and _sang_ for me. 

And Iwa-chan, he sings so _good_. And then I fell asleep on his shoulder! And then, we had this beach trip last weekend on his birthday and he put on sun lotion for me, and holy shit, he has such nice big hands! And his body is so hot. And…“ Oikawa takes a breath.

“Then, it was night and it was his birthday, and we all had sparklers and it was so romantic. It was night, we were at the beach and we had _sparklers_! And then I dragged him away, so we could be alone to give him my present and we watched the sparklers and I gave it to him and he hugged me! And-”

“Stop, Shittykawa! I can’t listen to this anymore.” Iwaizumi takes a deep breath. “Okay. You like Ushiwaka.”

“Yes,” Oikawa replies.

“I knew it. When you hugged him… something was off,” Iwaizumi says. “And you constantly flirt with him!”

“I’m not-”

“I know you do this whole teasing thing a lot, but it’s worse with him, right? And despite the fact, that I think this is all really crazy and I can’t wrap my head around it… Where’s the problem?”

Oikawa sighs and holds out his hand and wriggles his fingers. “First,” he holds up one finger. “We’re roommates. I can’t confess to him and then it’ll turn out awkward, that’s just plain _weird_. Second, Ushiwaka already likes someone else. Has since High School, he told me the other day when I asked him.”

“He-”

“And third of all, I’m already dating Kaito.”

“Yeah, but you’re only going out and making out,” Iwaizumi says.

“No, we’re official.”

“What? Since when?”

“Today?”

“Oikawa.” Iwaizumi’s voice is all calm and Oikawa is prepared for the worse. “Are you for fucking real?! You know you like Ushiwaka and you go and go steady with Kaito on the _same day_?!”

Oikawa flinches. “Iwa-chan, you don’t need to shout!”

“I’m serious: Why?”

“What’s the point? Ushiwaka likes someone else.” Oikawa looks down. “And it really hurt to find out, you know. I think every time I look at him, it hurts more. And the best way to distract myself from this is to, you know, date Kaito.”

Iwaizumi shakes his head. “Oikawa, this is crazy.”

“But-”

“It’s not fair for Kaito either!”

Oikawa whines and puts his hands on his face again. “I know! Don’t remind me!”

“I _have_ to since nobody else is the voice of reason here!” 

“I can’t break up with Kaito! We just made it official!” Oikawa shouts at the same time the door to his room falls open. He turns around to see Ushijima in his training suit. “Evening, Ushiwaka.”

“I’m going,” Iwaizumi says. “Good luck.” He logs out and Oikawa is alone with Ushijima.

“I assume my talk helped you out then,” Ushijima says.

“What?” Oikawa isn’t sure what he’s talking about.

“About having a crush. You like Kaito.”

“I, er… Suppose. We talked about it today and, we thought we should give it a try. You know. Getting serious,” Oikawa explains and Ushijima nods. He goes over to his closet and gets some things out of it.

“I’m happy for you,” he just says. “I’m heading to the showers.”

“Okay.” Oikawa wishes he could say something else, but he can’t and just watches Ushijima leave. When he’s gone, he groans and lets himself fall face down on his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> misaki is me honestly   
> also i think i kind got over my writers block,, wrote 1 1/2 chapters last night ay  
> (chapter title,, nobodys perfect by hannah montana)


	14. Love hurts, whether it's right or wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They probably think I’m a horrible boyfriend, this is the first time I met them and they have a bad image of me.“
> 
> “Does it matter?” Iwaizumi asks.
> 
> “No,” Oikawa replies. “I don’t care what they think. I just care about Ushiwaka and I can’t blame him if he hates me now, I told him to get out and I said I didn’t need his friendship. Iwa-chan, I’m a mess!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also titled: that one chapter, where oikawa fucks up. a lot.  
> as in, most from the entire fic.  
> but hey, at least it can only get better from here :D  
> (it's also the longest chapter since most are around 2,4k and this is i think... 3,7??)

They win game after game, until they lose one.

It’s not the end of the world, because they’re still be able to make it to Nationals, but Oikawa is pissed off and his life right now is a disaster anyway and most of it is his fault.

He stays after practice longer than anyone else, he watches the videos of the other university volley ball teams and he barely has any free time anymore. He tries, he really does. He goes to (almost) all classes, sees his friends there and during lunch and then there’s practice. The rest of the time he spends in the library, studying and on the weekends, he spends an afternoon with his boyfriend. 

Apart from that, Oikawa doesn’t really do anything else. He barely has time for his friends, but it’s okay. They all see each other during practice (well, everyone but Misaki), classes or when they meet up at the cafeteria. Maybe Oikawa is avoiding Ushijima.

It’s subtle, because he doesn’t run away from him, they still play with each other during practice, he still sits next to him during the few classes they share. But he does. He doesn’t tease Ushijima as often as he did before, he doesn’t cling onto him, stops drawing on Ushijima’s notes or demands massages, stops forcing Ushijima to take ridiculous selfies with him or doesn’t annoy him anymore when Ushijima tries to study.

So, when they lose, Oikawa goes straight up to the gym to practice more. Some others have the same idea, all of them frustrated, until the captain tells them they have to go home and rest. Oikawa can’t rest, he’s angry and frustrated. 

They go out to eat, not the entire team, but the Peadicks. Misaki isn’t joining them, because the girls won and they’re celebrating right now.

“We can still win,” Ushijima says, when they’re alone afterwards, outside the dorms. It’s dark already. 

“I know, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa says. “You’re not used to losing, right? Eh, well, there was Karasuno.” He sighs and just shrugs. “What can you do? They were a good team, strong. Their setter was good.”

“Oikawa,” Ushijima says.

“And even their ace might be better than you, Ushiwaka! Can you believe? Somebody being better than you? I guess that surprised you,” Oikawa continues.

“Oikawa.”

“We just have to train more and-”

“Stop.” Ushijima puts his hands on Oikawa’s shoulders. “Just _stop_ talking.”

Oikawa pushes him away. “This is how I cope with losing,” he replies. “You wouldn’t know, because I used to only lose against _you_.”

“Are we talking about that again?”

“It’s not like I forgot years of our rivalry, just because we’re friends now, Ushiwaka.” Oikawa wants to go inside, but Ushijima grabs his arm and holds him in place.

“I’m pissed off,” Ushijima says. “Just say it too.”

“Eh, why? It doesn’t change anything.” Oikawa smiles, but Ushijima just shakes his head.

“Don’t smile.”

“You can’t tell me what to do. This is why I used to hate you.”

Ushijima pulls him closer and it takes Oikawa’s breath away, because he stumbles forwards right against Ushijima’s chest and he looks up and they’re so close. “Don’t fake your smile.”

“What do you want me to do?” Oikawa asks. He grabs into Ushijima’s jacket. “I’m pissed off, yes. What am I suppose to do? Shout?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not shouting either!”

“I am angry,” Ushijima says, louder. “We should’ve won. I should’ve been able to score more times. It wasn’t impossible, they weren’t _that_ good. No defense is without any flaws. I’m angry because we could’ve won and I hate it. I hate this feeling!”

He’s shouting now and Oikawa is surprised by Ushijima’s outbursts, has never seen him like this.

Oikawa screams. He just screams and lets go of Ushijima and kicks a bin next to them. “We could’ve won,” he repeats too. “We could’ve won! We should be unstoppable, you and me. With Bokuto and Kuroo.”

“I know,” Ushijima says. “I know.” 

Oikawa groans and then Ushijima pulls him into a hug and Oikawa just forgets how in the past few weeks he has told himself to get away from him, to get over his stupid crush, but right now, he can’t. He punches Ushijima against his chest lightly with his hands in a fist, but Ushijima just hugs him tighter and Oikawa is glad for this.

“I hate this, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa says.

“We will do better. Next time.”

Next time. They still have a next time. It wasn’t over. “We’ll win,” Oikawa says. “I know it.”

Ushijima lets him go and Oikawa is sad. He wants to hug him again, be in his arms and just wrap his arms around his body, but he can’t.

“I know.”

“You once said the strongest team is where you’re in,” Oikawa says. “That was a lie. The strongest team is where _we_ are in. You and me.”

Ushijima smiles and Oikawa does too. “Thank you,” he mouthes and they just go inside.

* * *

  


It’s bad. Last night just made Oikawa fall for Ushijima more and it hurts so much to wake up and look to the other side of the room and see Ushijima sleeping. Because they weren’t that far apart, he could just go over and touch him, but he also can’t _really_ touch him.

Oikawa wakes up and sees he has a text from his boyfriend. The guy he can _actually_ touch. He also has a text from Iwaizumi, which is kind of supposed to cheer Oikawa up after his lost, but for other people it would probably just sound like a passive aggressive message.

His boyfriend invites him over tonight, he’s throwing a party at his apartment and inviting Oikawa and his friends. Oikawa texts back and agrees to it. He has to see Kaito soon, remind himself that he already has a great guy. 

Really, Kaito isn’t bad. He is good looking, tall, athletic. Unlike Ushijima, he knew how to flirt, and apart from the fact that he sometimes tasted like smoke, he is a great kisser. Good in bed too, which Ushijima probably isn’t, because he’s a virgin. 

Not that Oikawa would mind. Somehow, he thinks it’s cute. He looks over to Ushijima, who is still sleeping. Why does he have to look good while sleeping? Oikawa knows for a fact, he drools at his sleep and looks ridiculous, his friends back at Seijou have filmed it once.

No, Ushijima isn’t like Kaito in bed probably. Kaito is more confident, which is understandable. He is older than Oikawa, hsd more experience, hell, Oikawa has been a virgin before him. Oikawa tries to imagine how it would be like if he’d sleep with Ushijima. Their kisses might be awkward and not that great, but it doesn’t matter, because it would be _Ushijima_. 

Maybe Oikawa will see his adorable blush on his cheeks again, when they undress and maybe Ushijima would look at him as if he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen once he strips him. Maybe Oikawa will be able to see Ushijima flustered and shy smile and he’ll be able to kiss his dimple and then his ridiculous strong jaw line and neck and drive his hands over Ushijima’s amazing back muscles.

He’d gently show Ushijima how he likes to be touched and meet his gaze that asks him for permission to touch him and Oikawa would tease him, until Ushijima plants soft kisses on his neck and leaves his marks, as his big hands roam over Oikawa’s body and thighs. Oikawa would hook his leg around Ushijima’s waist and pull him closer, run his fingers through Ushijima’s hair and then grab it, pull him up to kiss him.

Ushijima would cup his face and touch his chest and god, his fucking _hands_. Oikawa really wants him to open him up with those fingers, slowly and carefully, as if he’s afraid Oikawa will break and Oikawa will tease him more, moving and meeting his touch and he’d beg for Ushijima to hurry up and give him what he wants, but Ushijima would tell him to be patient and-

_Fuck_. This is totally creepy. Staring at your roommate while he is sleeping and imagine how it’d be like to have sex with him. And Oikawa got hard. He looks down at his erection and groans. 

He hates living in the dorms sometimes, he can’t just go to the showers and jack off there, because it isn’t exactly private and if he goes to the restroom, Ushijima might hear him. 

What was he supposed to do?! He can’t just leave it here. “Ushiwaka!” Oikawa shouts and throws his pillow at Ushijima. The other man wakes up.

“What the- Why are you throwing your pillow at me?”

“You have to get out,” Oikawa explains.

“Why?”

Oikawa doesn’t know what to reply. He hasn’t thought about it before acting and blushes. “Just… get out.”

“Oikawa, I just woke up,” Ushijima complains and sits up.

“Just get out!”

“Now you’re being ridiculous.”

Oikawa has a lot of pillows, so he throws the next one against Ushijima’s head. “Please!”

Ushijima furrows his brows. “Can I change my clothes first and brush my teeth?”

“No.”

“ _Why_?”

“Because I have something called a boner and it’s not like I can take care of it while you’re here,” Oikawa blurts out. They both stare at each other in shock and Oikawa feels his face heating up and he hides his face in his arms. “Forget I said this, please, Ushiwaka. This is embarrassing. Oh my god.”

“I’m… Going out then.” Ushijima gets up and walks outside.

This is even worse than popping a boner and _not_ being able to take care of it. At least, Ushijima doesn’t know it’s because of him and at least he will never know Oikawa also touches himself while thinking about him.

* * *

  


“Don’t forget we have practice tomorrow,” Mika reminds the boys. “Don’t get too drunk.”

“Says the one who’ll probably get drunk the most,” Kuroo snaps back.

“I’m not the one who has to play,” she says and grins.

“You want to go to practice with a hangover? What kind of manager are you?” Oikawa teases her.

“Please, we have three managers, I think you can manage without me once.” Mika just shrugs. They ring the bell and Aya opens for them.

“Hey, guys! You’re just right on time.” She lets them inside. Sure, volleyball players are all tall, but sometimes they have some shorter guys on their team, especially when it came to liberos. But the basketball team? All of them were tall, it is intimidating. And Oikawa isn’t even short.

As for Mika and Misaki, they widened their eyes. “Where are we?” Misaki whispers. “They’re so tall, I’m scared.”

Kaito spots them and walks over. “Hey.” He kisses Oikawa. “I’m glad you all could make it. Come, I want to introduce you to my friends.”

They’ve been dating for weeks now and their first kiss was months ago, to be specific, about three months, but Oikawa hasn’t met his friends yet. He feels like this is an important moment in their relationships.

“Have fun, Oikawa!” Bokuto shouts.

“We’ll see each other later!” Oikawa says and follows his boyfriend to meet his friends.

The tallest guy, who Oikawa recognizes from the lockscreen from Kaito’s phone, gasps. “Wow, he’s really as hot as everyone says.”

“Don’t mind Imada,” Kaito tells him. “He’s a flirt.”

“Is this how you talk to your best friend?” Imada and Oikawa shake hand. “Imada Ryota. His best friend.” He throws his arm around Kaito. “And absolutely jealous. How did you manage to get a cutie like him?”

He is worse than Kaito, Oikawa never would’ve thought. He knew, Kaito’s best friend is bi, but never thought he’d be like this. They talk a little bit and Kaito’s teammates seem to be cool. More open than Oikawa’s at least, who were a little bit awkward at first after they found out he is dating Kaito.

That was, until Bokuto shouted in the gym: “What, you don’t know I’m dating a guy too?” And then continued to show them pictures of Akaashi he had on his phone. Soon, everyone else started boasting about their girlfriend too.

After that, all tension had been gone. God bless Bokuto’s love for Akaashi and his need to show everyone how pretty his boyfriend was.

Oikawa later searches his friends again. Misaki and Mika are getting drunk. They are one of the few girls at the party, apart from Aya and the other flat members. Bokuto and Kuroo are singing the Japanese national anthem with some of the basketball players and Ushijima is talking to Imada out of all people.

Oikawa is jealous. Fuck, he should stop being jealous! He has no right to be, he has a boyfriend anyway. He is also a little bit drunk, when he walks over to them. “Hey,” he says and eyes Ushijima’s beer. “Ushiwaka, how can you drink something this disgusting?”

“Beer isn’t disgusting,” Imada says. “I can’t believe this. I thought I put my best friend into good hands.” He seems to be drunk too, as he puts his arm around Ushijima. “Your friend here thinks he can insult my favorite drink.”

“Hey! It is disgusting and you can fight me for it,” Oikawa replies.

“Kaitooo! Pick up your boyfriend! This shorty wants to fight me.”

Shorty. _Shorty_. Oikawa has never been called shorty. He was almost 6 feet tall, for god’s sake! How can you call him short?

“Imada, you’re just jealous because I’m more popular than you,” Oikawa teases. “And your flirting gets you nowhere.”

“Ouch.” Imada turns to Ushijima. “Your friend knows right where to stab me in the heart you know? First, he dates my ex and now-”

“Wait. What?” Oikawa asks.

“You know right where to stab me in the heart,” Imada repeats.

“No. You… you _dated_ Kaito?”

Imada opens his mouth. “I have to go, right now, immediately.” Oikawa grabs his arm. “Tell me.”

“It was in our first year of High School! That was six or seven years ago, so it’s no big deal.”

“How long?”

“A year?” Imada shrugs. “It didn’t work out. Don’t worry! He loves you!”

This confuses Oikawa even more. “Love?” he asks, but it’s not only him, who asks. Ushijima does too.

“Kaito will kill me,” Imada curses. “Please don’t tell him I told you! We both promised never to mention it ever again. I mean, not even the guys on our team know! Fuck, I shouldn’t drink in front of my best friend’s boyfriend.”

“How can you still be friends with someone you used to date?”

“I don’t know. People can be friends with someone they love and doesn’t love them back, so I guess this works too,” Imada just says, shrugging and then runs away. Oikawa has no idea, why this guy used that example, because he looks to Ushijima immediately.

“I need to get drunk,” Oikawa exclaims and heads to the kitchen.

* * *

  


It’s not really because he just found out his boyfriend used to date his best friend. No, Oikawa couldn’t care less and maybe that’s why he feels like shit. How could he be angry about his boyfriend still hanging out with his ex? That is six years ago. Meanwhile, Oikawa has feelings for Ushijima _now_.

He gets drunker than he originally planned, and when Kaito finds him in the kitchen, he puts his hands on Oikawa’s hips.

“You okay, babe?”

“Don’t call me babe,” Oikawa just replies and kisses Kaito. “I’m drunk.”

“I can see.”

Oikawa throws his arms around Kaito. “Take me to your bedroom.”

“You want to sleep?”

“No. I want you to fuck me.”

“Uh.” Kaito laughs, playing with Oikawa’s hair. “I’m still the host, you know.”

“Come on,” Oikawa begs. “I need you. What’s wrong with leaving your guests to fuck me?” Ushijima walks right into their conversation and stares at them. Kaito lets go off Oikawa.

“Somehow we always get caught by you in indecent moments, what?” he jokes and Ushijima narrows his eyes.

“Oikawa, we should go back.”

“No. I’m staying.”

“We have practice tomorrow.”

“Calm down, practice isn’t until 11 am,” Oikawa just says. “Why can’t I stay?”

“You’re drunk and your boyfriend is the host. He has plenty of other problems he has to take care of.”

“Did you just call me a _problem_?” Oikawa asks.

“Okay, dude, step back. It’s okay if he wants to stay here.”

“So you can _sleep_ with him?” Ushijima accuses Kaito.

“Well, he’s my boyfriend, so… I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” Kaito points out.

“He’s _drunk_.”

Kaito sighs. “You know, I’m getting pretty tired of your whole over protective thing.”

“Kaito!” Imada shouts. “Somebody’s throwing up on the balcony!”

“What the- I’ll be right back. You can stay here,” Kaito sighs and runs out of the kitchen.

“Come, Oikawa,” Ushijima says.

“Didn’t you hear him? I’m staying.”

Ushijima sighs. “It’s late, you’re drunk, your boyfriend is busy, we have practice tomorrow and I don’t want you to be taken advantage of.”

“Taken _advantage_ of? He’s my boyfriend.”

“That doesn’t mean he can-”

“Ushiwaka. Just go.”

“I’m not leaving without you.”

“You know, Kaito was right. I’m getting tired of your over protective bullshit too, Ushiwaka.” Oikawa doesn’t even know why he’s getting so mad. It’s the alcohol and the part of him, that wishes, Ushijima isn’t just an overprotective friend. Part of him wants Ushijima just to sweep him off his feet, tell him he’s his and kiss him and take him home with him.

And Oikawa knows this will never happen and he’s so _pissed off_ and it’s not even Ushijima’s fault. He’s pissed off because he wants it. He’s angry at himself.

“Oikawa, don’t do this,” Ushijima says. “Come, I’ll get your jacket.”

“I’m serious! Take me seriously!”

“I _always_ take you seriously,” Ushijima replies. He takes Oikawa’s hand and Oikawa wishes, he can just entwine his fingers with Ushijima’s. Instead, he pulls away.

“Ushiwaka, go home alone! You’re being ridiculous!”

“I am being ridiculous? I’m just concerned.”

“Stop being concerned! It’s none of your business what I and my boyfriend do!” Oikawa shouts. It’s not. He has to remind himself this, Ushijima has no reason to do this and be overprotective. He _wishes_ , it would be any of his business, but it isn’t.

“I’m your friend,” Ushijima says. “It is my business. I care about you.”

“Shut up!” Why is he so angry? He knew he is wrong, Ushijima is just trying to be a good friend and yet, Oikawa is so angry. “I don’t need your friendship anyway!”

“Oikwa-”

By now, they have a group gathered around them who are watching their fight. “I don’t need your friendship, Ushiwaka! I was fine without it, when we were enemies. So just… Get out. I’m staying.”

Ushijima seems to be hurt by Oikawa’s words and Oikawa can’t even blame him.

“Do you mean it?”

“Yes. Get out, _Ushijima_.” It’s the first time Oikawa uses his real name, maybe that’s why Ushijima reacts and just walks out and leaves. Oikawa is boiling with rage and Bokuto asks: “What the fuck happened?”

“It doesn’t matter. Kaito, I’m going to your bedroom!” Oikawa shouts and he runs towards his boyfriend’s room and slams the door behind him. Fuck, he didn’t want this.

Oikawa slides down the door and grabs in his hair. God, he is _such_ an asshole. It isn’t Ushijima’s fault, Oikawa is attracted to him.

He takes out his phone and calls Iwaizumi and it’s three a.m., but god, Iwaizumi is a good friend, unlike Oikawa, who is a horrible friend. 

“You better have a good reason to call me at this hour, Oikawa.”

“Iwa-chan, I fucked up.” Only now Oikawa notices, he is crying. His voice is weak and tears are running down his cheeks. God, he is an emotional drunk.

“Shit. Wait, I have to get out here, it’s too loud.” It takes a few seconds until he can hear his best friend’s voice again. “What happened?”

“I had a fight with Ushiwaka. I- I was drunk, I still _am_. Basically he was trying to be a good friend and I was so pissed off at him, because you know I like him and it just made me so mad. And I… I had a fight with him in front of the entire party! All of Kaito’s friends are here and I just had a fight with him.

“They probably think I’m a horrible boyfriend, this is the first time I met them and they have a bad image of me.“

“Does it matter?” Iwaizumi asks.

“No,” Oikawa replies. “I don’t care what they think. I just care about Ushiwaka and I can’t blame him if he hates me now, I told him to get out and I said I didn’t need his friendship. Iwa-chan, I’m a mess!”

“I can tell,” Iwaizumi says. “You should apologize.”

“I know. But…”

“Swallow your pride, Trashykawa.”

Oikawa smiles and wipes his tears away. “I wish you were here, Iwa-chan.”

“I wish I could be there too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry... ?????  
> also the fic is around... 70k now and i'm really bad at established relationship fics so i guess its gonna end soon. dont get me wrong i love domestic fluff but theres only so much i can write about until i get bored 
> 
> (lyrics: avril lavigne - what the hell) (i used to own the CD for this song can u believe i USED TO BUY CDS)
> 
> also did u notice the rating went up to M. its gonna go to E one day but patience


	15. This museum full of ash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t touch me.” Ushijima lets him go. “We’re not friends.”
> 
> “We are-”
> 
> “No. Don’t talk to me, I don’t have the interest and talking to you anymore, Oikawa. Go to sleep.” Ushijima turns around and faces the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls read the notes at the end cause i have a question :d

Oikawa manages to go to practice the next day, mainly, because he wants to apologize to Ushijima.

He has a massive hangover though, and feels like he’s about to throw up every second he even touches the ball. Their captain walks up to him and tells him to rest.

“But-”

“Oikawa, you look horrible. If you don’t want to go home, sit on the bench. And drink water.”

Oikawa does. He sits down on the bench and drinks water the whole practice. Their coach doesn’t talk to him and Oikawa’s glad about it because his head hurts and he can’t really talk, but he keeps staring at Ushijima.

God, why does he have to look so good? This is not the time to get sexually frustrated again, Oikawa reminds himself. After a while, he feels like he’s about to throw up again and walks outside. He sees Ushijima looking at him, but he doesn’t say anything and Oikawa feels awful.

He sits down outside and when he hears footsteps, he hopes it’s Ushijima, but it’s Mika.

“You okay?” Mika asks.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just woke up and didn’t feel that bad, so I thought I should come by,” she explains and sits down next to him. “You have a hangover?”

Oikawa nods. “I feel horrible.”

“Yeah, you should drink a lot of water,” Mika says.

“No- I mean, yes. But I was horrible yesterday.”

She sighs. “I know. You were drunk, people say horrible things sometimes when they’re drunk. I don’t get this whole ‘drunk people say the truth’ thing. I always turn into a liar.”

Oikawa laughs. “Mika-chan, you’re worse than your boyfriend.”

“Thank you.”

“But I totally understand if Ushiwaka doesn’t want to be around me anymore. I was awful and so mean! I was such an _idiot_. I was always so mean to him before, but…” Not ever since they’ve become friends. “I didn’t mean it. I was just really angry.”

“Just apologize.”

“What if he doesn’t forgive me?”

Mika giggles. “I doubt he wouldn’t. You’re friends and he’s loyal. At least I think he is. I’m not good at reading people. I think you’re better.” Mika taps her index finger against her chin. “Though I’ve never seen him get into a fight. I don’t know how he’ll react.”

“I know!” Oikawa cries out. “I was so mean.”

“Why were you so angry anyway?”

“I…” Oikawa buries his face in his hands. “It’s because I like him.”

“That makes no sense.”

“I _like_ him, Mika-chan.” He looks up at her and she widens her eyes, when she realizes what Oikawa is talking about.

“But- Oh. Oh! This actually makes a lot of sense. But what… about Kaito? I mean, I can see it. You are always flirting, but then again, you’re _you_.” Oikawa doesn’t ask what that’s supposed to mean. “Wow.”

“I know.”

“It still doesn’t make sense. Why would you be so mean to him when you like him?”

“Because I’m angry at myself, Mika! He didn’t deserve it. He was just… so over protective over me and Kaito and I just wish, it was real. That he _wants_ me. And I got so angry because I wished he would really just drag me out of that place and steal me away from Kaito,” Oikawa explains. “Which was stupid. I know. I was drunk.”

Mika sighs. “Let me get this straight: You wanted Ushiwaka to grab you and carry you bridal style out of the apartment and kiss you and ride you into the sunset on his white horse and you got angry at yourself?”

“Where the… How did you get _that_ from what I just said?”

“I have a vivid imagination,” she explains and Oikawa laughs.

“But you’re basically right.”

“Who else knows?”

“Iwa-chan. I tell him everything.”

“I’m honored, Oikawa, that I’m the only one apart your best friend. Well, I can see this is a problem and I know how to solve it,” Mika explains.

“How?”

“Break up with Kaito and apologize to Ushiwaka.” Oikawa stares at her.

“I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“Break up with Kaito!”

“Oh no, it’s a love triangle.” Mika leans back against the wall of the gym. “Okay, you like Kaito too.”

“That’s not it. I mean, yes, I like him. But I don’t have a crush on him.”

“Is this why you asked us all?” Mika asks, grinning and Oikawa nods.

“That’s when I realized I liked Ushiwaka.”

“And then you started dating Kaito.”

“I asked Ushiwaka too. He confessed to me he still has a crush on that one guy. You know _which_.” Oikawa hates thinking about it. It is frustrating him, not knowing who makes Ushijima feel the way he makes Oikawa feel.

“What a mess,” Mika says. “Remember when I said ‘this is not a romcom’?”

“Yes.”

“I take it back.”

“It’s not a romcom, Mika-chan! It’s my life and it _sucks_.”

“Quit being dramatic, Oikawa. You’re 90% fault on why it’s like this,” she says and smiles. “I know you two can work it out. You became friends after you were rivals after _years_. I’m still working on Suguru and Kuroo to turn out this way. They just better not fall for each other too.”

Oikawa laughs. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

* * *

  


It’s easier said than done.

Ushijima avoids him. When the team gets out of the gym and Kuroo and Bokuto talk to Oikawa, they tell him Ushijima is still in the showers. So Oikawa waits and tells them they could head back already. He waits and waits and when Ushijima comes out, he ignores Oikawa. 

Oikawa’s head aches too much and his body is too sore to run after him. Ushijima isn’t even in his room.

It’s at night, when he finally comes back and Oikawa tries to talk to him again.

“We’re not friends, are we?” Ushijima says.

“Come on, Ushiwaka-chan,” Oikawa begs. “You know it was a joke-”

“A joke?” Ushijima’s voice is firm. Oh no, Oikawa pissed him off. “It wasn’t a very _funny_ joke.”

“I know! I’m sorry, Ushiwaka. I didn’t mean to say joke, I really-”

“I’m going to sleep. Don’t bother me.”

Oikawa does. When Ushijima gets in his bed and closes his eyes, Oikawa kneels in front of him. “Come on, Ushiwaka, please. Talk to me,” he says. Ushijima doesn’t react, so Oikawa keeps talking and after a while, he’s silent.

He just watches Ushijima’s face. They both know Oikawa knows he’s not asleep yet. Oikawa puts his hand on Ushijima’s cheek and softly strokes it, when Ushijima’s eyes snap open and he grabs Oikawa’s wrist in his hand.

“Ow, Ushiwaka, you’re hurting me.”

“Don’t touch me.” Ushijima lets him go. “We’re not friends.”

“We are-”

“No. Don’t talk to me, I don’t have the interest and talking to you anymore, Oikawa. Go to sleep.” Ushijima turns around and faces the wall. It hurts and Oikawa can’t do anything, but go over to his bed.

He has fucked up big time and doesn’t know how he can fix this.

* * *

  


It’s hopeless. Ushijima really hates him. Whenever Oikawa sits down next to him in classes, he takes his stuff, gets up and sits somewhere else. Even Bokuto and Kuuro aren’t able to talk sense into Ushijima and Oikawa cries every day. Well, he doesn’t cry, but he is always complaining about it whenever he talks to Iwaizumi or his boyfriend.

And maybe he has shed one or two tears.

“That’s it. I’m coming over,” Iwaizumi says after a while.

“What?”

“This Saturday. So you stop calling and whining!”

So Iwaizumi really comes over on Saturday and he brings that one guy from Dateko with him, Kamasaki Yasushi. They all meet up with Kuroo, Bokuto, Mika and Misaki.

“We should add girls,” Mika says. “I’m always surrounded by boys.”

“Do you think it’s a good idea to have Misaki surrounded by cute girls?” Kuroo teases.

“Fuck you,” Misaki murmurs under her breath, blushing.

“He behaves like an idiot in front of them too,” Iwaizumi says, pointing at Kamasaki.

“Hey! I don’t behave like an idiot in front of cute girls!” Kamasaki shouts.

“You are now,” Oikawa points out.

It’s fun to spend the day with them, but he misses Ushijima. He talks with Iwaizumi alone, while they walk through Tokyo and show them the city. Oikawa is thankful for having such a good friend like Iwaizumi. They don’t see each other that often anymore, but they’re still there for each other when the other needs it the most.

“How about it? We play Three on Three?” Kuroo suggests, when they’re back at the university.

“I take Iwa-chan!” Oikawa shouts. The last time they played together was during the holidays and he really misses his ace at his side. He puts his arm around Iwaizumi, who shrugs him off.

“But we’re five people,” he points out. They all look at the girls and Mika laughs.

“This is a bad joke, isn’t it?”

“Ushiwaka,” Bokuto mentions. “I will find Ushiwaka! Go to the gym and wait for me!” He runs away and the other can’t do anything, but just get changed. Kuroo lends Kamasaki his clothes and Oikawa lends Iwaizumi some. 

The girls sit on the sideline. “I’m going to be the referee!” Mika says.

Oikawa doesn’t really expect Ushijima to come. It’s been a week since their fight. But he does. Bokuto pushes the taller man in the gym and their gazes immediately meet.

Oikawa holds his breath. Suddenly, it’s like nobody else is in the room and it sounds so cliché and sappy, but it’s true. Oikawa takes a step towards Ushijima and another and the other doesn’t move.

“Will you be on my team?” he asks.

Ushijima doesn’t reply and Oikawa feels like crying, when Ushijima just walks away. He drops his head, looking down at his feet and god damn it, it’s _over_.

“I suppose Iwaizumi is on our team too?” Ushijima says and Oikawa looks up and he smiles.

“Ushiwaka!” he shouts and wants to throw himself at him, but he sees the look in Ushijima’s face and stops. “Er, yeah. Iwa-chan is on our team.” 

They win, but it doesn’t satisfy Oikawa. He works so well with them both, Ushijima and Iwaizumi, which is probably why. The others aren’t used to Kamasaki. Oikawa talks to the other team after the game and he doesn’t even notice, Ushijima leaves.

“Where’s Ushiwaka?” He’s disappointed.

“Oh, he and Iwaizumi are out for a talk,” Misaki answers.

What? Why was Iwaizumi talking to Ushijima? What would he possibly have to say to him? Iwaizumi doesn’t even _like_ Ushijima and he still doesn’t understand how he and Oikawa became friends.

He’s nervous, but Bokuto slaps him on the back. “It’ll be fine.”

When Iwaizumi comes back, they head to the showers. Ushijima isn’t with him. 

“Okay, what did you talk about?”

“Don’t be so noisy, Trashykawa,” Iwaizumi says.

“Please, Iwa-chan!”

“He’ll talk to you. But first walk me and Kamasaki to the train station before you run to your crush.”

“Oh, Iwa-chan, thank you so much! You’re the best friend I can ask for!” Oikawa falls in his arms and hugs him, but Iwaizumi pushes him away.

“Don’t mess it up, okay? I just fixed it!”

“I won’t! I swear!”

He accompanies Kamasaki and Iwaizumi to the train station and says his goodbyes. “Thank you,” Oikawa says again, when he hugs Iwaizumi. Afterwards, he practically runs back to the dorms and finds Ushijima sitting on his bed. He looks up, when Oikawa enters and then puts down the book he was reading and shifts to make place for Oikawa to sit.

He does.

“I heard Iwa-chan and you had a talk,” Oikawa says.

“Yes. I am willing to listen to you.”

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa starts. “I… I know I shouldn’t have said those horrible things. I was rude and mean and not in the way I used to be before we were friends. I know, saying I was drunk isn’t an excuse. 

“You were just trying to be a good friend and I was an asshole. Can you forgive me, Ushiwaka?”

Ushijima looks at him and then sighs. “I don’t think I can…,” There’s a pain in his chest and Oikawa grabs into the sheets of Ushijima’s bed, “say no to you. I tried, but I can’t.”

Oikawa starts crying and pushes Ushijima. “Stupid Ushiwaka! You can’t make a pause between that! You made me worry so much! I hate you!” he cries out and then throws his arms around Ushijima. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Ushijima hugs him back.

“I lied, I need your friendship, Ushiwaka. I hate not being your friend.” Oikawa buries his face in the crook of Ushijima’s neck and he’s so glad Ushijima doesn’t let him go and just lets him hug him, because for this short moment, he can just _imagine_.

“I feel the same, Oikawa.”

Oikawa wishes, he could just look up and kiss him right here. It feels like a love confession being accepted, but it’s not and he knows that once he looks up and into Ushijima’s eyes, he’ll be weak. He can feel Ushijima’s thumb gently brushing his back and hugs him just tighter.

_I love you_. The realization hits Oikawa, but it doesn’t surprise him. He _loves_ him. It isn’t just some stupid crush. Ushijima pulls back and Oikawa wants to shout at him and tell him not to let him go, but it’s only so Ushijima can look at his face. He cups Oikawa’s face and Oikawa’s holds his breath and closes his eyes.

This is so unfair. Ushijima doesn’t know what he’s doing to him.

Ushijima wipes Oikawa’s tears away. “Don’t cry anymore.”

“I’m going to cry even _more_ and you can’t stop me, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa says. He grips into the front of Ushijima’s shirt and he still doesn’t open his eyes, because this is horrible.

“Open your eyes.” 

Oikawa looks down and shakes his head. “I can’t. This is embarrassing. Don’t look at me.” He puts his head on Ushijima’s shoulder again. “Give me a tissue.”

Ushijima chuckles and Oikawa has missed it so much to hear him laugh. He wishes, he could just look up and see it, see his stupid adorable dimple, but at least he can feel Ushijima’s body vibrating.

“You have to let me go then,” Ushijima points out.

“Ugh. Fine.” Oikawa doesn’t want to, but he sits back and Ushijima gets up to get him a tissue. And everything is fine between them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song: funhouse by p!nk  
> / BEST FRIEND AWARD YET AGAIN GOES TO IWA-CHAN  
> /okay i have included characters from every club, shiratori, aoba johsai, dateko, johzenji, fukurodani, nekoma, but not karasuno. CA N U BELIEVE??? (they'll come too tho. dont worry. everyone gets their guest appearance)  
> / on another note, i for a LITTLE while played with the idea of kamasaki/iwaizumi. not gonna lie. but then i decided they didnt fit together + i am very much a kamafuta shipper and cant ship them with anyone else lmao  
> / HOWEVER in the newest chapter i kinda. paired. iwa-chan with someone up. and its such a rarepair i never even thought of and while theyre only "friends" ,, u have **subtext**  
> / sorry for all the notes. anyway i'm currently at 78k of this fic (i think?) and i planend out some chapters, currently this fic is aimed to be 32 chapters but i could always make it longer (bc i have a lot of ideas). but that would all just be. domestic fluff with occasional smut. idk if you're up for that? let me know! :)


	16. So lose an inhibition, follow your intuition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No.” Blunt as always. “I don’t like him, I think you can do better than him. I’ve always wanted to see you with your best potential-”
> 
> “Hold up.” Oikawa holds up his hands and squints his eyes. “I know this talk. This is what you always told me after one of our games. When you told me I should’ve gone to Shiratorizawa. Are you doing this for my personal life now too?”

They go back to how they were before.

Not exactly, _before_. They’re friends again, and act the same like always, but Ushijima seems to be busy all the time and Oikawa barely sees him except for classes and practice or when they’re sleeping.

For other people that might be enough. They see each other every day, he has the privilege to wake up every day and see Ushijima’s cute bedhead. But it isn’t enough for Oikawa and he wants to be closer to him.

He thinks about Mika’s words when he asked her what it was like to have a crush. He remembers her mentioning that you want to be with the person all the time at first. Oikawa agrees. So, he decides to wake up early one day to accompany Ushijima one one of his morning runs.

Later, he regrets it. It’s nice and he gets to spend more time with Ushijima, but after three days, Oikawa decides, it’s not worth it. He’d rather sleep. He doesn’t know, where Ushijima always disappears to, but Oikawa hates it.

When he asks him about it, he gets weird answers, that avoid the question.

* * *

  


One day, when Kaito and Oikawa are hanging out together in the city, Kaito says, “Let’s meet next Friday together.”

“We always do that. You don’t need to mention that, Kaito-chan.”

“No, I mean with Ushijima and Imada.”

Oikawa is thrown off course with that. “Why?”

“Oh, Imada suggested it,” Kaito explains. “Ushijima didn’t tell you this, but he actually visited me two weeks ago after you two made up.”

Oikawa stops walking and blinks. “ _What_?”

“It was weird. You know your friend is kind of scary? He just suddenly appeared in front of my door. He asked us not to tell-”

“Us?”

“Yeah, Imada was there too,” Kaito continues. “Anyway, he asked us not to tell you about his visit. We had a talk. It was… interesting.”

“What were you talking about?”

Kaito just shrugs. “I don’t know, dude.”

“Don’t you ‘dude’ me, Kaito! I’m your _boyfriend_.”

“He talks so weird. As if we’re on a drama show. So… analyzing. And he used some weird farm metaphors.” Oikawa chokes on his milkshake he was carrying with him. He laughs. Ushijima was such a dork. “Anyway, it wasn’t really an apology. In the end… Let’s just say, we agreed that we should get along for your sake.

“I don’t like him, but Imada convinced me. Plus, he’s your friend and we should get along, right?“

Oikawa nods slowly. It is weird. At least they didn’t become friends, because that would be weirder. Does this have anything to do with why Ushijima has been absent?

“Anyway, Imada suggested we should all hang out. And he invited himself so we’re not an odd number. He apparently asked Ushijima.” Kaito shrugs.

Oikawa wants to say no, because he knew what a flirt Imada is and he is jealous, but he has no right to be. He is in love with Ushijima and still dating Kaito. And how did Imada ask Ushijima? They have nothing to do with each other! But Oikawa can’t act childish and say no now, when they are all doing it for his sake.

* * *

  


“Kaito told me about your talk with him.”

“I’m sorry I told him not to tell you about it at first,” Ushijima says. “You would’ve unnecessarily worried.”

“You don’t know anything about me, Ushiwaka.” But it is true. “So… You want to get along with my boyfriend?”

“He is your boyfriend, Oikawa. And we’re friends.”

“But you don’t like him, do you?”

“No.” Blunt as always. “I don’t like him, I think you can do better than him. I’ve always wanted to see you with your best potential-”

“Hold up.” Oikawa holds up his hands and squints his eyes. “I know this talk. This is what you always told me after one of our games. When you told me I should’ve gone to Shiratorizawa. Are you doing this for my personal life now _too_?”

He can’t believe this is happening. He’s getting the same old speech from Ushijima. 

“Yes. I want what’s best for you, Oikawa.”

“That’s sweet, Ushiwaka, but you can’t apply volleyball to real life too! Don’t go make such speeches when it comes to my real life! What the hell does ‘full potential’ even mean, when it’s applied to a real life?”

Ushijima blinks. “Happiness.”

Oikawa doesn’t know what to say and blushes. “Just… forget it, Ushiwaka. Don’t say something so sappy out of nowhere! And don’t be late when we meet.”

He later realizes, he forgot to ask Ushijima what Imada has to do with him.

* * *

  


Oikawa hates this, but again, he hates his own reaction to all of this. He goes to Mika and complains to her about it and she smacks his head.

“You are so stupid!”

“You’re hurting me, Mika-chan! You’re just as cruel as Iwa-chan. I should just call him…”

“Oikawa.” She grabs his collar and brings him down to her height. “If you don’t do something soon, Ushijima will be taken away from you.”

“Don’t worry,” Oikawa says. “He still likes that guy from Miyagi. I’m safe.”

“Ugh.” She lets him go. “Don’t look at me. How can you even sleep with someone you don’t have feelings for?”

“I don’t actually sleep with him,” Oikawa confesses. Not since the fight with Ushijima.

“That makes it worse. I barely see Suguru nowadays, if we’re lucky, then once every second week. Do you know Bokuto, Kuroo, Misaki and I suffer all the time? And you, your boyfriend is right around the corner and the guy you like is literally next to you and- You’re so _frustrating_!”

“How does _Misaki_ suffer?”

“Don’t question Misaki’s love for all girls to avoid this discussion.”

 

* * *

 

Oikawa expects this day is to turn out horrible. Imada suggests to go to a Maid Café when they meet.

“We’re all gay, what would I want there?” Kaito asks his best friend.

“Kaito, you’re no fun. I want to invite our friends to our favorite place.”

“Your… favorite place?” Oikawa asks, confused and turns to Kaito. “You’re into maids? You could’ve just told me.”

“Why, would’ve worn a maid outfit for me?” Kaito smirks and Oikawa shakes his head.

“Forget it. I would never.”

“We grew up there,” Imada explains and starts walking.

“Hey, we haven’t decided yet!” Kaito shouts after him.

“Maid Cafés are expensive,” Oikawa points out. “Unless you pay for me, Imada-san.”

“Okay.”

Oikawa furrows his brows. “Kaito, I think your best friend is flirting with me.”

“He is _always_ flirting. And no, he’s just saying this because his mom is the owner of the Café.”

“I vote for yes!” Oikawa shouts. He wants to see the look on Ushijima’s face when the girls talk to him. He’s probably going to not even react to them, but Oikawa still wants to know.

So they really head to the Maid Café which apparently belongs to Imada’s mother. The maids greet them. Oikawa has never been in a Maid Café, even after living so long in Tokyo. He is probably still a small town guy.

Oikawa looks over to Ushijima. “So, Ushiwaka, what do you think? Maybe you have a Maid kink?”

“A kink?”

“You know, I think I would look great in a Maid outfit,” Oikawa jokes and Ushijima clears his throat. Before he can say anything, Imada throws his arms around them.

“So, there’s a discount when you wear cat ears today.”

“You said you pay anyway,” Kaito points out and Oikawa’s eyes brighten.

“Yes!” A maid shows them a box full of cat ears and Oikawa picks out one for himself and one for Ushijima. Oikawa turns to him and says: “Lean down, Ushiwaka. You’re way too big.”

Ushijima ducks his head and Oikawa puts on the cat ears. “Aw. You look great, Ushiwaka-chan. We have to take pictures later.”

“Is this necessary?”

“Oh yes, it is,” Imada says, grinning.

Kaito puts his hand on Oikawa’s shoulder. “Yeah, I don’t mind it either.”

“You’re such a pervert,” Oikawa tells his boyfriend. They sit down at a table next to the window. Oikawa sits next to his boyfriend and across from Ushijima. One of the maids asks them what they want to eat and drink and Imada just orders for them.

Ushijima with cat ears looks so damn cute, Oikawa can’t stop smiling. His stoic expression with those pink kitten ears… It’s hilarious. Oikawa hasn’t stopped staring at him actually.

“Oikawa, is something wrong?” Ushijima asks and Oikawa shakes his head.

“No. Don’t worry.” He takes out his phone. “Smile for the camera.”

He doesn’t. Instead, Imada throws himself into the picture and Oikawa has to settle down with taking a picture with the two of them. He puts it on his Snapchat History and sends it into the Peadick groupchat. He also takes a selfie of himself too, because Oikawa looks great with those cat ears, thank you very much.

Three maids appear in front of them later to hand them out their drinks and shake it while singing some cute song. Oikawa and Imada clap and swing to the tune, while Kaito and Ushijima just stare.

“You’re no fun,” Oikawa pouts and he puts his leg against Ushijima’s, who flinches at the touch. “You should’ve just sang with them.”

“I don’t see how that is relevant.”

“Ushiwaka with cat ears in a Maid Café singing with the maids? That’s a sight I wouldn’t want to miss,” Oikawa explains. For the next minutes, it’s so hard for Oikawa to look away. It isn’t his fault. Ushijima sits directly in front of him with those adorable cat ears and his serious face. 

Oikawa just couldn’t stop staring and smiling, even if his boyfriend is right next to him. When the maids return with their food, they ask them what they want to have written with ketchup on their dishes.

“Oh, draw me a dick,” Imada jokes.

Suddenly, the maid’s cheerful and cute act is gone. “Imada, I’m going to kick your ass and tell your mom how you lost all your money at gambling last week.”

Kaito and Oikawa laugh, while Ushijima chokes on his drink. The maid smiles again and ignores Imada, looking over to the other three. “What should I write for you, my master?”

“Mmh, what should I get, Ushiwaka?” Oikawa asks. 

“Get whatever you wish,” Ushijima replies.

“Yeah, but what would you get me? I guess ‘You should’ve come to Shiratorizawa’ is too long?” Ushijima blinks and Oikawa shrugs. “Draw a cow for me.”

“A cow? Okay, that’s cute.” The maid starts drawing the cow.

“Why a cow?” Kaito asks.

“Because of Ushijima’s name, right?” Imada asks and Oikawa just ignores the question and looks at the cow.

“Aw, we should’ve gotten you cow ears, Ushiwaka. And a bell. Draw him a cow too!” 

The maid looks to Ushijima, who just nods before she draws a cow on his plate too. Imada gets a ‘GET OUT OF THIS CAFE’ and Kaito a ‘PLEASE SAVE ME’, before she walks away.

“You know her well?” Oikawa asks.

“Yeah, she’s my childhood friend,” Imada explains. “And Kaito knows her through me.”

They eat and before they leave the café, they take pictures with the maids. Oikawa pulls the corner of Ushijima’s mouth up so he’s smiling, but right when Ushijima grabs his hand to pull it away, the picture is taken.

He likes it because it looks like they’re kind of holding hands. He puts it in his wallet and when they walk through the cities again, Kaito suddenly grabs his wrist. 

“Hey, is it okay when you guys head back first? I want to be with my boyfriend alone for a while,” he says.

Imada and Ushijima exchange looks.

“Sure,” Imada says, putting his arm over Ushijima and Oikawa hates it. When they’re gone, he turns to his boyfriend and smiles. Kaito lets his wrist go. 

“Let’s go somewhere quiet.” 

“Oh? What do you want to do to me, Kaito-san?”

“Just talk.” They arrive at a park and Kaito stops walking and turns to Oikawa. “Okay, cut the crap: What the hell was that?”

Oikawa is surprised by the sudden turn of events and the harshness in Kaito’s voice. “Eh, what?”

“Your flirting with Ushijima.”

Oikawa doesn’t know what to say. “I’m not- I wasn’t flirting.” Was he? He didn’t act any differently around him than always, right? Oikawa laughs. “You know how I am, Kaito. I’m always like this.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I _am_. I thought months of dating me would have made that clear to you.”  It’s been four months since their first meeting, Kaito should know him by now.

“Yes, we’ve known each other for months and you’ve been my boyfriend for over a month now.” Kaito sighs. “If you want him, just tell me. Stop fucking flirting in front of my eyes with another guy!”

“So, you want me to stop talking to my frined?”

“You’re acting offended! I should be the one who’s angry. You like your _friend_.” 

“What gave you the idea?”

“I know how you are Oikawa! That’s not- You act differently around him! God, is this why you didn’t want to have sex with me for the past few weeks now?” Kaito asks, frustrated.

“ _That_ is your problem? That we don’t have sex? I’m sorry, Kaito-chan, that I don’t just spread my legs for you every time you want it!” Oikawa shouts. Luckily, no one is around to hear them.

“You just turn everything around,” Kaito groans. “But it’s true, isn’t it? You’re making me the asshole right now, when it’s actually you. God, you live with him in a room! Have you cheated on me?”

“What? No! I’m not a cheater!”

“You know, I can’t even trust you anymore. I bet you let him fuck you every day. That’s probably the reason you don’t want to sleep with me anymore.”

Okay, Oikawa knew he is an asshole. Kaito is right, he likes Ushijima. But that he accuses him of _cheating_? “Fuck you,” Oikawa hisses. “I can’t believe you’d think I’d do something like that.”

He’s boiling with rage and it hand aches to just hit something, but he’s not an asshole. Also, he’s not really into domestic abuse.

Kaito suddenly realizes what he just said. “Wait-”

“You know what? Forget it. If you think of me that low, I don’t care!” Oikawa runs away and he hears Kaito shouting his name after him, but he doesn’t run after him and Oikawa doesn’t turn back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (lyrics: black eyes peas - lets get it started) 
> 
> ok. this maid thing with the cat ears is 1000% copied from that one durarara!! episode. vkdfnvkv i just wanted ushiwaka with cat ears


	17. How do I say I'm sorry 'cause the word is never gonna come out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This volleyball team is very capable and has high standards,” Ushijima says. “And so is the university. We will see if you are able to make it through the entrance exams.”
> 
> Oikawa has to hold back his laughter. Sometimes, he loves how blunt Ushijima is.
> 
> Hinata just bursts out laughing. “Ha! Kageyama, did you hear that? There’s no way you can get in!”

When he gets back, he’s still angry.

He kicks the door to their dorm open and Ushijima is already there too, sitting at the table watching a video of a volleyball game on his laptop.

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine. Everything is completely fine!” Oikawa shouts back and then he groans, rests the back of his head against the door and closes his eyes. “I’m sorry, Ushiwaka. I shouldn’t let my anger out on you.”

He slides down the door and is now sitting in front of it.

“What happened?” Ushijima gets up from his seat and kneels in front of him.

“Kaito- he’s just. He’s just such a _dick_. I don’t even know why I bothered with him! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him so much!”

“More than you used to hate me?” Ushijima asks and Oikawa considers it.

“No. I don’t think I ever hated anyone as much as I used to hate you.”

“What happened?” Ushijima asks again.

“He… He accused me of cheating.” 

That seems to throw Ushijima off guard. “Why? What was his reason for such an assumption?”

Oikawa groans. “Because apparently I flirt too much with you and because I haven’t slept with him since you and I had a fight!” he shouts. 

None of them say anything and Ushijima sits back on his heels. “What did you say?”

“That it’s ridiculous. What should I say, Ushiwaka-chan? I’m not a _cheater_. I’d never do anything that cruel.” 

“I know,” Ushijima says. “You only cheat at card games.”

Oikawa blinks and then chuckles. “Stupid Ushiwaka. You can even make me smile when I’m angry, it’s not fair.” _It’s not fair, that you make me fall for you more every time._ “I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you still like him?”

Oikawa doesn’t know how to answer. He likes Kaito, yes. He is pleasant to be around with, but lately being with him has been feeling so wrong. He doesn’t even really like touching him anymore. He supposes, he should break up with him. Next time they see each other.

“Can we change the subject?” Oikawa asks.

“Of course. If you don’t want to talk about it, we could talk about something else.”

“Get me up from here?”

Ushijima gets up himself first and then offers him his hand. Oikawa stretches out both arms. “Carry me.”

“You are perfectly able to get up yourself, Oikawa.”

Oikawa sighs and grabs Ushijima’s hand to pull himself up. “What are you watching?”

“A match.”

Oh, really? Oikawa looks over to Ushijima’s laptop. “That’s the team Mika-chan’s boyfriend is in, right?”

Ushijima nods. “It’s a game from two weeks ago. Do you want to watch it together? When can start from the beginning.”

“Yeah. Get on the bed.” Oikawa sits down on his bed and Ushijima sits down next to him. He puts the laptop on his lap and Oikawa rests next to him. 

Iwaizumi and Mika were right. It is horribly unfair to Kaito. Yes, he has been cruel to Oikawa, accusing him of being a cheater and has said those horrible words, but it isn’t like he is completely wrong. Oikawa really likes Ushijima and yes, okay. He _is_ flirting.

Hell must have frozen over.

Oikawa decides, that he breaks up with Kaito the next time. But first, he wants an apology.

* * *

  


When the university’s cultural festival comes around, they still haven’t talked to each other again. Oikawa is fine with that. He’s not going to give in. 

Since the festival is to promote their university and make the students want to join them, the volleyball club has decided to host two events. Since their college is mostly known for their prominent and strong volleyball club, it’s not hard for them to get any interested students. It is an honor to be scouted by this university and be allowed to play in their ranks, so they don’t really _need_ to promote their club.

However, it makes their club so popular that people want to see them play, and since they have enough club members to play against each other, they divide them into three groups, so everyone gets to play. It’s actually quite amazing that Oikawa and Ushijima got to be regulars as freshmen. Probably, because right when Oikawa entered the team, their best setter was scouted by a First League team.

The school festival is held over three days, so they play once every day. For the rest of the time, they have their free time. It took them a long time to decide what else to do because none of them could do anything.

“We could do a Host club,” Bokuto suggested. “I’m charming.”

“Oikawa is charming, you’re not,” one of their teammates said and Oikawa laughed.

“Don’t fuel his massive ego!” Kuroo joked.

“We could have a food booth,” Saito, their captain, suggested.

“Can any of you cook?” Mika asked. “Or even do anything with food.” One person raised their hand.

“I can. Can you?” 

“Just because I’m a girl I’m supposed to know how to cook?” She sighed. “Okay, I can, but it’s not like I’m planning to really cook in my life.”

“What is that supposed to mean, Mika-chan?”

“Obviously, I’m going to marry Suguru and he has a cook.” She shrugged and Oikawa laughed.

“Are you sure you’re not dating him for the money?”

In the end, they just agreed on being the one responsible for the fireworks. “It’s easy. Just buy a bunch of fireworks and light them up in the night. That’s it!” Kuroo said.

“I don’t trust any of you guys around it. We’re responsible if anything goes wrong,” one of the other managers reminded them.

“Do you have any other ideas?”

The girl sighed. “Fine, fireworks it is then.”

He’s on the team with Ushijima and they win the first game of the day.  Since they don’t have any classes today, their group decides to walk around. 

“I can’t believe you just got away with being the committee for the fireworks,” Misaki complains. “I have to get back in…” She looks at her watch “Five minutes to our booth.”

“Hey, at least you have a date,” Oikawa says. “All thanks to me.”

“Thanks to _you_? I was the one who gave her Alisa’s number. Without me, she would never even have met her!” Kuroo says.

“Without me, she never would’ve even sent her a message.”

“I’m thankful for the both of you,” Misaki says. “I just hope it goes well.” She smiles and when they arrive at her booth, they eat. 

“I’m meeting Akaashi in an hour too,” Bokuto says. “So, I’m not allowed to do many things yet! I’m going to do them with him.”

“Yeah, I’m meeting up with Kenma too,” Kuroo says. “We should go together.”

“Oh, a double date! Yes!” Bokuto and Kuroo high five and Mika sighs.

“I wish Suguru would be able to come too.”

“Does his university even host festivals? Bet they’re on some other extra posh level,” Kuroo scoffs. “And the prizes are too high.”

Mika narrows her eyes. “You’re already leaving us, you can at least be nice.”

“You still have Ushiwaka and Oikawa,” Bokuto points out.

Mika widens her eyes in realization. “You know what? I’ll hang out with the other managers. I bet they don’t have anything to do either later!”

“Wait, you want to leave us alone?” Oikawa asks. Mika grins and whispers into his ears: “Don’t you want to be alone?”

Oikawa honestly has no answer to that. This woman is either the worst or the best. The five of them walk together through the campus until Akaashi and Kuroo leave to meet their boyfriends. Mika leaves them too, to hang out with the other two managers from their club and Oikawa and Ushijima are left alone.

“Do you want to go somewhere?” Ushijima asks. 

Oikawa looks over the pamphlet that was handed out at the entrance to look over the program. “There’s a play in fifteen minutes. We could go there,” he suggests. 

“Should we go there right now?”

“Of course! I bet we won’t get any good seats anymore” Since it was the first day, Oikawa was right and they only get seats in the last row. It’s okay, Oikawa doesn’t mind much. They visit the booth of the chemistry majors, where they show some interesting experiments and let you try them out too.

“This is fun,” Oikawa says. “But also ridiculous. We’re not in High School. Everyone knows real chemistry is boring.”

“Don’t let Kuroo hear this,” Ushijima says and Oikawa smiles. 

They visit café later to eat and drink and it’s nice. It feels like they’re on a date and Oikawa thinks about how they still have two days left and he wants to spend both days with Ushijima. 

Until, he runs into a certain former kouhai and his friend. Oikawa spots them immediately at a photo booth. That orange messy head could be seen from miles away and of course the Chibi-chan is together with Kageyama. 

“Ugh. It’s them,” Oikawa points out. Ushijima stops to see and Oikawa can feel him tense next to him. He can relate to Oikawa’s anger towards them, they have lost against them too. Those damn crows.

“Do you want to say hello?” Ushijima asks.

“Why should I? I don’t even-”

“Oh! It’s the Grand King!” The loud voice of Hinata is impossible to ignore.

“Oi, Hinata! Come back here! You can’t just run off with your costume!” Kageyama runs after him. The photo booth has some cute costumes and Kageyama and Hinata were wearing crowns. It was fitting for the ‘King’. 

“What? You’re still wearing yours too, dumbass!”

Oikawa wants to leave. He has nothing to do with those. “Well, look who’s here,” he says.

“So it’s true! Kenma told me you two are playing together now! We’re on a training camp with the other Tokyo teams right now and they gave us three hours off so we can visit you! We’re actually here with Kenma, but he’s off with Kuroo,” Hinata explains. “We managed to talk to our coaches and they’re willing to give us some time off tomorrow too so we can watch your game!”

He rambles and rambles and Oikawa sighs. That guy hasn’t changed.

“College volleyball is on a whole different level, right?” he asks, excited.

“Yes,” Oikawa just says and smiles. “You wouldn’t understand.” 

“I’m going to come here too,” Kageyama just suddenly proclaims and Oikawa widens his eyes. No, not again. He will not be robbed of his position as a setter _from this guy_ again.

“You can try, but you won’t be able to surpass me,” Oikawa says, smiling.

“This volleyball team is very capable and has high standards,” Ushijima says. “And so is the university. We will see if you are able to make it through the entrance exams.”

Oikawa has to hold back his laughter. Sometimes, he loves how blunt Ushijima is.

Hinata just bursts out laughing. “Ha! Kageyama, did you hear that? There’s no way you can get in!”

“Shut up, I will study and get a sports scholarship! Just you see!” Kageyama shouts. 

“You’re only in your second year anyway, dumbass.”

“Oi! Be more supportive!”

A girl runs towards them and snatches the crowns from Kageyama and Hinata’s heads. “You and your boyfriend are not welcomed at our booth anymore,” she snaps before going back. 

Oikawa laughs again, holding his stomach with his one arm and resting his other hand on Ushijima’s shoulder. Wait… “Boyfriend?”

Kageyama and Hinata blush at the same time. What has he missed too? First Yahaba and Kyoutani and now this? Everyone nowadays starts to date the person they like and Oikawa is still here with an unrequited crush. How is that even _fair_?

Hinata’s phone rings before he can say anything else. “Ennoshita! What is it? Oh. Okay, we’ll get back! Bye!” He hangs up. “It was nice to see you, Grand King and Ushiwaka! I can’t wait for us to play against each other again and we will win again!” He grabs Kageyama’s hand and drags him away.

God, they are so exhausting. “I hate them,” Oikawa says.

“Me too.”

He’s surprised by Ushijima’s reaction and turns to him. “What?”

“It’s late already, we should get ready for the fireworks,” Ushijima replies and Oikawa shakes his head and chuckles.

“Okay.” 

Oikawa isn’t a Middle Schooler anymore. If Kageyama really gets into this college, he’s not going to behave childish anymore. He learned, he’s more mature now. He got over his hatred for Ushijima, worse, he _likes_ him now, so Oikawa is sure he can get along with Kageyama. 

He’s not going to give up his position as the setter of the team, though, that’s for sure.

Plus, he’s also not going to fall in love with Kageyama, that is apparently Chibi-chan’s position already. 

* * *

  
Oikawa likes fireworks, but he doesn’t really like having to light them. They’re twenty-three in total, the managers included, so he thinks it’s fine if he doesn’t do anything. He’s standing together with his best friend and is right next to Ushijima. 

If only they could be alone and watch the fireworks. No, instead they have to _light_ them. He hates the noises.

“Oikawa, you’re not doing anything,” Saito says.

“Sorry, senpai, I-”

“It’s okay. Your boyfriend wants to talk to you.” He points at Kaito who is standing a few feet behind their captain. Oikawa looks over to Ushijima.

“Are you okay?” he asks and Oikawa nods.

“Yeah. It won’t take long,” he promises. He doesn’t even know why he tells him this. It’s not like they’re really on a date. Oikawa leaves their volleyball team and walks to Kaito.

“Can we go somewhere alone?”

This is it then. Oikawa has seen this moment coming anyway. It has been a mistake from the beginning. He just wants an apology, and then he’ll apologize himself. And of course, break up with him because that’s long due.

“I was going to apologize,” Kaito says. “But it’s not like I’m totally wrong, right?”

“What?” Oikawa asks, confused.

“You know, you and Ushijima.”

Oikawa sighs. “If you want to apologize, just do it. It’s not that hard, you know.”

“I know. But you _do_ like Ushijima.”

“Can we leave him out of this? It’s not like I ask you about Imada!”

Kaito is surprised by that. “What are you talking about?”

“You never told me you two used to date. For a _year_!”

“It’s… that’s not the same. That was back in High School, first year of High School. I was just curious about my sexuality and so was he. We ended it because it didn’t work out between us,” Kaito says. “Did he tell you?”

“Yes.”

Kaito groans. “I wanted to forget that part of my life in which I dated my best friend. Look, Oikawa, that’s not the same. Imada and I are over. You… You and Ushijima aren’t.”

Oikawa looks away. “Is _that_ your apology?” 

“But you _do_ like him. Just admit it, Oikawa! I don’t have any patience for this anymore. Just say it straight out. Plus, it’s not like Imada and I or you and Ushijima will work out anyway,” Kaito adds.

Oikawa hesitates, turning to him again. “Wait, what are you talking about now?”

“Don’t you know? Ushijima and Imada are going out. Or friends with benefits. Whatever they are.” Kaito shrugs.

“ _What_?” Oikawa opens his mouth. “That can’t be.” Ushijima would never do something like that. He is too… he wouldn’t be with someone he didn’t love. He isn’t Oikawa. He is an honest person, he never lied. 

Yes, he knew Imada is a flirt, but Ushijima wouldn’t, right? Oikawa has always thought he was save, because Ushijima still likes that guy from Miyagi. Ushijima wouldn’t date someone he doesn’t like! He is too old fashioned!

“You’re jealous,” Kaito points out. It does make sense. The last two weeks, even after they had their talk and were back to being friends, Ushijima had been distant and always gone.

“I have to go,” Oikawa says.

“What?”

“I have to go. Thank you for the talk, Kaito-chan! We’ll talk again soon!” Oikawa leaves and runs back to his team. He runs towards Ushijima and yanks him back. “You!”

“Me.”

“ _You and Imada are going out_?!”

Everyone is staring at them. “We should talk somewhere else,” Ushijima replies and Oikawa nods. 

“Yes, you better explain this to me, Ushiwaka. I don’t accept this.” Ushijima tells their captain they have to talk and Saito just sighs.

“You know what? Just go. You freshmen and your problems are going to be the death of me.”

When they’re alone, Oikawa turns to him again. “Okay. So why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were friends! And on top of that… Imada out of all people? You had to go and date my boyfriend’s ex boyfriend slash best friend? 

That guy is a total flirt! Plus, he’s too tall! You don’t- you look weird with a tall boyfriend!“

Ushijima furrows his brows. “Your problem is that Imada is too tall for me?”

“No- I…” Oikawa sighs. “Sorry. So you _are_ going out? Why didn’t you tell me you two are meeting?”

“We’re not going out,” Ushijima says. “You got that wrong.”

“Oh.” Oikawa’s relieved. “I’m glad! I guess Kaito was lying to me. But why would he do that?”

“He wasn’t lying,” Ushijima says. “Not exactly. I have been meeting with Imada, but we’re not involved like that.”

“So you haven’t kissed or anything?” Oikawa asks again, just to be sure.

Ushijima hesitates. “I don’t want to lie to you. Yes, we have.”

“You make no sense, Ushiwaka. What are you even saying? First you say you’re not going out and not involved and now you’re telling me you have kissed him? What have you done too? Have you had sex with him?”

“Stop.”

Oikawa is getting too worked up. He shouldn’t be jealous. He has no right to be. “Ushiwaka, I never would’ve guessed for you to be this guy. What about your other guy? From Miyagi? The volleyball beauty that you’re still hung up on?”

“I still like him of course. But I can’t hold on to a hopeless crush for years.”

Oikawa takes a deep breath. “How many?”

“How many what?”

“How many years have you liked him?”

Ushijima doesn’t reply. “I think it was since the first year of High School. Maybe even before that.”

Four years. How is Oikawa supposed to even compete with that? He and Ushijima haven’t even been friends for a year. “Oh. You’re right, that’s a pretty long time.”

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about Imada and me meeting up. I just didn’t see how that is your concern,” Ushijima explains. 

“Of course it is. He’s my boyfriend’s best friend.” Not that Kaito really was his boyfriend. Damn, Oikawa shouldn’t have just run off. He should’ve broken up with him clearly. Next time, he thinks. 

“We’re not going out. That one kiss was unfortunate and neither of us plan on it happening again,” Ushijima continues and Oikawa smiles. God, he was such a hypocrite.

“Good. I mean… That sucks, Ushiwaka. You should let go of your former crush. It’s hopeless. There are so many more people here! Live your young years before you die regretting things!” He tugs Ushijima’s jacket. “Let’s go back to the others.”

“I don’t think I can ever give him up,” Ushijima whispers and it hurts, Oikawa wishes he hasn’t heard it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to include kagehina they're THE otp for me (also bc a certain friend was like "wtf u cant not include them") plus, no other karasuno member as appeared so far, how is that fair
> 
> (song starstrukk by 3oh!3, this gives me war flashbacks from 7th grade)
> 
> /also all the chapters from when they finally start dating... like, afterwards its just reaaaally fluffy. i think i'm getting cavities from how cute those are D:


	18. Being with you has opened my eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oikawa,” Mika says and looks at him. “My question for you. Last time you said no. Have you ever liked someone?” 
> 
> Oikawa hates her. He looks over to Ushijima whose attention is turned to Oikawa too, blushes and nods.
> 
> “Do you like someone right now?” she teases, grinning.

They meet again on the last day of the festival. After the fireworks, Oikawa searches for Kaito. He’s at the basketball team’s booth and they’re currently cleaning up.

“Hey, Oikawa,” Imada greets him. Oikawa used to like him, but now he just can’t stand his sight. Oikawa forces himself to smile, though.

“Imada-chan. Nice to see you here! Is Kaito somewhere?”

“Yeah, let me call him.” Imada leaves and comes back with Kaito.

Kaito eyes him and sighs. “Is it okay if I leave?”

“Are you asking me for permission?” Imada clutches his chest.

“You’re our captain, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, just go.” Imada pats him on his back and Kaito and Oikawa walk for a while without saying anything.

“I know, I’m exhausting,” Oikawa begins. “Everyone tells me. At least Iwa-chan does and Mika-chan do. And I know, I’ve been behaving ridiculously in the past few weeks. I should probably be surprised why it took you so long to snap at me.”

“I haven’t really been myself either,” Kaito admits. “I shouldn’t have accused you of that. I was just jealous. I know you wouldn’t cheat. Sorry.”

“You were right though,” Oikawa confesses. “I like Ushiwaka.”

Kaito laughs. “I know. Every blind person can see it. I’m surprised _he_ doesn’t see it.”

“It’s… it’s not that obvious, isn’t it?” Oikawa asks.

“Yes, it is. Imada knows it too.” Kaito shrugs. “And just so you know, I think he likes you too.”

Oikawa stares at him and then laughs, shaking his head. “You know, Kaito-chan, you had many qualities I liked about you. But I didn’t date you, because you were _smart_.”

“I’m serious,” Kaito says. “Every blind person can see it too. I can’t believe it took me so long. You’re frustrating.”

“You’re wrong. Ushiwaka already likes somebody else from back home. He told me.”

“But… He… I can’t be wrong. He’s different around you. He looks at you like you put the fucking moon and stars on the sky. I don’t think anyone else would be able to put up with your constant teasing if it wouldn’t be someone who loves you,” Kaito says.

“You put up with it. Iwa-chan does too.”

“You were never to me like you were to him. I put up with you because we were dating. And best friends don’t count. I ask myself why I put up with Imada every day of my life too, and yet I do it,” Kaito shoots back. “Anyway, I’m not here to give my ex boyfriend advice for his crush. I’m not here to play matchmaker.”

“Ex boyfriend?” Oikawa repeats.

“That’s what we’re doing, right? Breaking up.”

Oikawa sighs and nods. “Yes, we are. Sorry.”

“You never liked me in first place, did you?”

“I liked you!”

“Yes, but not like you like Ushijima. I guess that’s fair. I didn’t really have any strong feelings for you either.” Kaito shrugs.

“Come on, you were _totally_ smitten by me, Kaito.”

“At first, maybe.” Kaito laughs. “You’re a horrible boyfriend.”

“Am not.”

“Yes, you are. Because you were never mine. And… Oikawa?”

“What is it, Kaito?”

“Promise me one thing: Even if this thing between you and Ushijima doesn’t work out, don’t go dating any other poor soul. I don’t want anyone to go through what I had to. Because that was just really plain _cruel_. And it hurt.”

Oikawa lowers his gaze. “I’m sorry. I know. I shouldn’t have dated you.”

“Count yourself lucky I didn’t fall in love with you. I mean, it still kind of hurts, but if you’d date anyone who actually loves you… that hurts a lot, okay? Don’t get anyone else in this mess before you sorted your shit out first,” Kaito says. “I would wish you two good luck, but frankly. I don’t give a shit.”

Oikawa chuckles. “That’s fair.”

“You know what confuses me, though?”

“What?”

“I don’t get why Ushijima and Imada are sleeping with each other, when Ushijima clearly has feelings for you.” Kaito shrugs. “But trust me. He likes you, not Imada.”

“What did Imada _tell_ you exactly?” Oikawa trusts Ushijima. He wouldn’t lie to him.

“That they’re sleeping with each other? Why?”

“Nothing.”

It makes sense. Kaito might have given up on Imada years ago and thought it as one tiny dark side in the history of their friendship, but Imada still likes him. He’s using Ushijima to make his best friend _jealous._

That is actually smart, because it worked on Oikawa. However, it doesn’t seem to really affect Kaito. He doesn’t say anything and gets back to his team. He texts Iwaizumi on the way back.

_kaito and i broke up!!! are u proud of me iwa chan_

_fucking finally_

Oikawa laughs at the answer and when he arrives, his teammates shoot him death glares. “Oikawa! You could’ve helped us clean up, you know?” Saito scolds him.

“You didn’t even light up _one_ of them,” someone adds.

“What do you have to say in your defense? We should make you clean up the rest alone.” 

Oikawa opens his mouth and then puts on an act. “I know, I am so sorry, senpais! I just broke up with my boyfriend, I am really distraught.”

They all believe him immediately. “What, you and Fujioka broke up?” Mika asks.

“Aw, sorry, man. It’s okay.” Bokuto pats on Oikawa’s back. “We should cheer you up instead of scold you!”

Some of their teammates scoff. “Okay, you five can stay to clean the rest up alone, then,” Saito says. “Have fun.” The rest of the team grins and leaves and Mika groans.

“Why am I friends with you?”

“Because we’re amazing, that’s why,” Kuroo explains.

“Is everything alright?” Ushijima asks Oikawa. He seems so worried and Oikawa nods slowly. He isn’t really sad, but his friends are all so concerned.

“You know what?” Bokuto says. “We’ll go drinking today. At our place. The five of us and Misaki.”

“We don’t have alcohol,” Mika reminds him.

“Just smile at some older guy and he’ll buy us some,” Kuroo suggests and Mika hits him lightly. “Okay, I’ll smile at an older girl, geez.”

They clean up the rest and Oikawa turns to Ushijima. “I figured it out. Between you and Imada.”

Ushijima swallows. “What about it?”

“He likes Kaito, right? He still likes him after all those years. Or again, I don’t know. And he was meeting up with you to make him jealous,” Oikawa explains. “Is it true?”

Ushijima nods. “Yes. I am sorry.”

“That’s why you didn’t tell me. Because you were _literally_ sabotaging my relationship with Kaito.”

Ushijima sighs. “I-”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Ushiwaka. It’s over anyway. No hard feelings.” Oikawa shrugs. “And it’s not because of you two.”

* * *

Kuroo really is the one who provides them with booze.

It’s a Sunday and they all have classes the next day, but not until noon, so it’s fine. Bokuto and Kuroo’s room is surprisingly clean, which Oikawa has found out the first time he had been over. Unlike Mika’s room, which is in a constant state of a mess. She blames it on her roommate, but they all know it’s her who can’t tidy up after herself.

Misaki joins them too, and she’s so exhausted from all the cleaning up, she just falls down straight on Bokuto’s bed and claims it for the night. Oikawa and Ushijima sit next to each other on Kuroo’s bed and the other three sit on the ground. 

“Do you want to talk about, Oikawa?” Bokuto asks. 

“Not really,” Oikawa says. 

He just doesn’t know what he should talk about. He doesn’t have any hard feelings. He feels like the break up was long due, like he never should’ve dated Kaito in first place. It didn’t end pretty between them, but at least they have some nice memories. Plus, he is so many of Oikawa’s first. He wishes, Ushijima could be that instead, but he doesn’t regret it. 

At least he’ll know what to do if it ever comes to it. Not that this would happen. He doesn’t believe Kaito’s words. Ushijima doesn’t like him.

“But are you okay?” Misaki asks. 

“Yes. Can we change the topic?” What was he supposed to say? _Yeah, I’m_ totally _fine. I never liked him anyway and just so you know, I’d rather have this guy next to me_. 

They decide to play a drinking game. Each person gets asked a question and if they don’t want to answer, they have to take a shot. 

“Have you and Alisa had sex yet?” Mika asks and Misaki stares at her.

“Mika-chan, you’re incredibly lewd. The other day was our first date! We’ve only kissed!” 

Mika shrugs. “I was curious. You went to your room.”

“I just showed her my room!” Misaki blushes. “Okay. Maybe a little bit more, but the answer is no.”

“Ooh, get it Misaki!” Bokuto and Kuroo cheer. 

“Okay, Mika-chan, be honest: Is Daishou bad in bed?” Kuroo asks.

“I shouldn’t have started with the perverted question,” Mika murmurs. “For your information, he’s not. Have you _seen_ his tongue? He’s like a snak-”

“Ew. Stop. I did not want to hear that. I wanted you to say he’s horrible.” Kuroo puts his hands over his ears. “Lalala, I can’t hear you!”

Mika laughs. “It’s so long and-”

“Mika, you’re disgusting! That’s my enemy, we’re talking about. God, I can’t look at him anymore with his awful tongue. I hate you.” Kuroo shudders. 

“Oikawa,” Mika says and looks at him. “My question for you. Last time you said no. Have you ever liked someone?” 

Oikawa hates her. He looks over to Ushijima whose attention is turned to Oikawa too, blushes and nods.

“Do you like someone right _now_?” she teases, grinning.

Oikawa swallows and nods again. “Somebody get her out of this room, she’s asking way too many questions and also answers them in ways nobody wants to know.”

Mika giggles and takes a sip from her cup. “I’m doing god’s work.”

“Aw, Oikawa!” Bokuto throws himself next to him. “I didn’t know you liked Kaito that much!”

Wait, what? Oikawa totally forgot that guy. Oh, so they all now think he still likes Kaito. Fantastic! “Bokuto, no, it’s not hi-”

“It’s okay. Ssh, your big brother is here.” Bokuto puts Oikawa’s head on his shoulder and Oikawa laughs.

“You can’t be drunk already.”

It’s easy to get drunk with this game, because the bunch of them all ask awful questions. And even if they answer them, they still drink. When Kuroo asks, “Hey, Ushijiwaka. That one crush of yours, does any of us know him?”

Ushijima nods and Oikawa knew it. He knew he has to know them, because that guy is a capable volleyball player from Miyagi, so he must has met him at least once in his life. And he has had the crush since first year of High School, so either that guy is the same age as them or older.

He can’t imagine anyone. _Who_ is it? 

“Who is it?” Bokuto asks and Ushijima drinks.

“Aw, Ushiwaka, why don’t you tell us?” Oikawa asks, smiling.

“I’d rather not.”

God damn it! This is so utterly frustrating. It is also so frustrating how at the end of the night, they are all kind of drunk, even Ushijima’s cheeks are red. During the night, Oikawa and Ushijima have gotten closer, so that their shoulders and knees are touching despite there being so much space for the both of them on bed.  

Oikawa doesn’t back up. No, he stays like this and Ushijima does too and he hates himself for getting his hopes up. 

After a while, he lays his head against Ushijima’s shoulder. 

“I think Oikawa is drunk already!” Bokuto laughs loudly. 

“You’re one to talk,” Kuroo says.

“Misaki is passed out. I’ll sleep with you today, bro,” Bokuto says.

“You can sleep on the floor!”

“You wouldn’t do this to me.”

“Damn, you’re right.”

“Are you alright?” Ushijima asks him and Oikawa looks up. He puts his chin on his crush’s shoulder and they’re so close, their faces only a few inches away. He can feel Ushijima’s breath on his skin and smiles.

“Yeah. I feel great. Pretty great actually.” He only has to lean a little bit in and then they’d kiss. God, he wanted to kiss him so badly.

“You’re drunk, Oikawa, go home! Stop flirting with Ushiwaka!” 

Oikawa doesn’t even know who’s shouting this. He just laughs and rests his head against Ushijima’s shoulder again. “You’re so hot,” he murmurs. He doesn’t even know what he’s referring to. Ushijima’s body heat or the fact that he really is so hot that Oikawa sometimes can’t stop staring and imagine those hands roaming over his body.

Kuroo whistles. “Get him back home, Ushiwaka.”

“Yes. Get me back home!” Oikawa spreads his arms. “Carry me.”

“You always want me to carry you,” Ushijima points out.

“Of course I want, Ushiwaka. You’re big and strong and I’m tiny.”

“You’re anything but tiny,” Mika says. “You’re like, six feet tall.”

“Don’t ruin this for me. Ushiwaka-chaaan.” Oikawa smiles at him with wide eyes and Ushijima blinks.

“Fine.”

“How? Bridal style? Or will I cling onto you like a koala baby? Or just piggyback ride?” He remembers the first time Ushijima has carried him after his twisted ankle. He has hated him so much back then and loathed the fact that Ushijima had to carry him. Now, fast forwards a few months, he is totally down to being carried by him all the time.

“Get on my back.”

“I think Ushiwaka is tipsy too,” Mika whispers to Kuroo, but loud enough for them all to hear. “He drank quite a lot.”

Ushijima turns around and Oikawa gets on his back. “Good night!” He shouts and waves at his friends as they head out of their room and back to theirs. He nuzzles his face against Ushijima’s shoulder.

“I like it when you carry me, Ushiwaka,” he confesses and tightens his grip.

“Oikawa.”

“Yes?”

“Can’t- breathe.”

“Oh!” Oikawa lets go. “I’m sorry Ushiwaka. I didn’t want that!” He leaves a kiss on his neck and Ushijima tenses. They arrive at their dorm and Oikawa gets down from Ushijima, who opens the door for them. Oikawa just leans next to the wall and stares at him.

It is so unfair. Why do they even have to live together? It is hard. He has to see him all the time, Ushijima is literally everywhere he was. Classes, practice, with his friends, in the night. He never has time for himself. At least Ushijima always gets up early for his morning run, so Oikawa has the restroom for himself when he wakes up with a boner in the morning because one of the dreams he has of him.

At least he doesn’t talk in his sleep. At least, he thinks so.

“What is it?” Ushijima asks, when Oikawa doesn’t walk in.

“Huh?”

“You’re staring. Go inside, Oikawa.”

“Sorry Ushiwaka. I was staring at you,” he blurts out. He still hasn’t moved a little bit from where he is standing and Ushijima takes his hand and pulls him inside. He closes the door behind them and it’s dark and before Ushijima can switch the light on, Oikawa takes his other hand. 

It’s dark, but there’s some light from outside shining through their window and he can see the faint outlines of Ushijima’s face and how he looks down at Oikawa. 

“Oikawa,” the taller man growls and his voice is so deep that it drives Oikawa crazy.

He pushes Ushijima against the door and kisses him. 

He’s most likely going to regret this later, but he doesn’t care at this moment. All he cares about is Ushijima and the fact that he’s right in front of him and how he tastes. He tastes mostly like the alcohol they’ve both just drank, but there is something else behind it that Oikawa craves for. Before he knows it, Ushijima kisses him back.

Oikawa lets his hands go and Ushijima brings them up to cup Oikawa’s face, to pull him closer. A deep growl from the back of his throat escape’s Oikawa’s lips, as he grabs into Ushijima’s shirt and opens his lips. He tilts his head to the right and closes his eyes, deepening the kiss. He can feel Ushijima’s tongue brushing against his and he’s not even tipsy anymore.

He feels drunk. Maybe it’s because of Ushijima’s kisses and the way his fingers tangle into Oikawa’s hair and how his other hand trails down Oikawa’s back. Oikawa moans and kisses him more and more. He can’t get enough of this and presses his leg between Ushijima’s, his hipbone against his crotch.

Ushijima tenses at that touch and pulls back.

“Oikawa-”

“Shut up,” Oikawa hisses and pulls him in closer again to kiss him. His kisses get more needy. This isn’t enough. This will never be enough. “Ushiwaka…”

“Don’t call me that,” Ushijima whispers hot against his ear. Oikawa bites down on his lower lip to prevent another moan escaping his lips, because this is getting embarrassing already. All they’ve done is kiss.

“I want you,” he begs and his hand slowly goes under Ushijima’s shirt. That’s when Ushijima grabs his wrist and shoves him away. He stares at Oikawa with wide eyes. 

“Oikawa. This isn’t right.”

“But-”

“You should go to bed. I’m sorry.” 

“Ushiwaka-”

Ushijima shakes his head. “We shouldn’t have done this.” And then he just storms out of their room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (all the shing she said - t.A.T.u) (does anyone remember tatu lmaoo)


	19. So tell me when it's not alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He likes someone else,” Oikawa murmurs. “He told me. That guy from Miyagi.”
> 
> The other three exchange looks, until Bokuto clears his throat. “Has he ever told you who it is?”
> 
> “Obviously not.” 
> 
> “Have you… ever thought that it might be you?”

When Oikawa wakes up, he doesn’t have a headache, but he feels horrible.

Because suddenly, all the memories of last night come crashing back. He looks over to Ushijima’s side of the room, but it’s empty.

He has fucked up. Again. All the time, and it’s always the alcohol and Oikawa knows, he shouldn’t blame it. He has no one else but himself to blame, every single time. All of this was his fault. Their first fight, that had been his fault, when he and Kaito had a fight, that was his fault too. He doesn’t even get why everyone still _bothers_ with him. He is childish and exhausting and Oikawa doesn’t even want to bother with himself.

All of this just happened because of himself, not because he was drunk. It’s because Oikawa is so hopelessly head over heels in love with Ushijima and has no idea how to handle his crush.

That’s what happens when you go through nineteen years of your life without having a crush. And then, suddenly, he was hit by his feelings by Ushijima and they just get worse with every single day. Why couldn’t his first crush just be some cute guy he meets one day, they start to date and they slowly fall in love and live happy together? 

That’s what could’ve happened with Kaito. If Oikawa wouldn’t be such a fucked up person, who falls for his roommate and ex rival who already likes somebody else. To be honest, that isn’t the worst. You can have crushes. Everyone has awful crushes that makes you cry sometimes. Pining after a person and having unrequited feelings are awful. Like Kuuro, for example, who had been in love with Kenma since his first year of High School and have just gotten together with him a few months ago.

It’s normal. What does Oikawa do? He literally digs his own grave further and further. It’s like he’s yelling “Hey! Look at me, I’m an idiot in love! I love to ruin my life!”. He started dating Kaito, hoping he’ll get over Ushijima and when that failed, he threw himself at Ushijima. Drunk.

And holy shit. The memory from last night were dizzy, but he can still remember how it was like to kiss Ushijima. How it had felt like to feel his fingers in his hair, feeling his lips on his and how his tongue tasted. He can still remember Ushijima’s hot breath against his ear, his deep voice, how good he felt against his body. 

Oikawa’s face heats up and he burrows it in his hands. God, he should feel horrible for doing that. For forcing himself on his friend, who clearly doesn’t have feelings for him and now it’ll be awkward between them and they have to _live_ together. Fine, the new semester is coming anyway, Oikawa will just find another roommate. Move out. Go to another college. Fly to another country, get a new identity, never talk or think about it again.

Except, he _wants_ to. He wants to talk to Ushijima, ask him why he kissed him back and then kiss him again. So what if Ushijima likes somebody else? That’s not important (it is).

He dials Iwaizumi and it’s only 9 am, so he still has more than three hours until his first class. He wonders if Ushijima slept here and then went on his morning run. 

“Okay, what did you do this time?”

“What makes you think I did something?”

“Usually, when you call me at weird hours or when you don’t send me a message before hand, it means you’ve done something,” Iwaizumi explains.

“I fucked up.”

“I know, but what? You just broke up with Kaito, that means you did something right for once.”

“I… I kissed Ushiwaka?”

Silence from Iwaizumi at first. “What?”

“I broke up with Kaito, everyone thought I was sad, so we got drunk at Bokuto and Kuroo’s dorm and then we were all kind of drunk and when we got back to our room… I don’t know. I just pushed him against the door and kissed him,” Oikawa tells. His face heats up thinking about the kiss.

“And then he pushed you away.”

“No, he kissed me back.”

“That’s… good?”

“Yes! It was good. God, it was so good, Iwa-chan. And hot. I would’ve wanted our first kiss to be different, but-”

Iwaizumi interrupts him. “Okay, but how is this bad?”

“Oh, after a while he pushed me away, told me it was a mistake and ran out of the room. I haven’t seen him since then.” It hurts thinking about it. 

“Just to be clear: He kissed you back, said it was a mistake and then ran away?”

“… Yes.”

“You didn’t fuck up.”

Oikawa gasps. “Iwa-chan, did you just really say that?”

“Yes. Okay, you did fuck up, but he was kind of an asshole too.”

“Are you saying this because you still don’t like him?”

“He kissed you back and then he said it was a mistake. If he doesn’t talk to you and apologizes, I’m going to _find_ him.”

Oikawa smiles. “Aw, Iwa-chan, you’re the best. I wish I could hug you right now!”

“Shut up, you’re still fucked up.”

“I know, but you still love me and that’s enough.”

* * *

  


He doesn’t see Ushijima again until late at night, when Ushijima comes back. He isn’t at practice, which surprises everyone. He has told the coach before, but it’s still so weird. Ushijima never skips practice. And all that just because Oikawa kissed him.

“Where were you?” Oikawa asks, when Ushijima comes back. It’s so late, he’s already in his sleepwear.

“I was out,” Ushijima answers. “Can we talk?”

Oikawa nods and they sit down across from each other on their beds. Will he tell him that he likes him too? Is this finally going to be the moment? 

“I’m sorry about last night,” Ushijima says. “It was a mistake. We shouldn’t have done it.”

Oikawa’s throat feels dry suddenly and he wants to scream, wants to get up and holds Ushijima up by his collar and shout at him. This is not the talk he wanted. “I know,” he replies instead.

“I hope we can forget it and you don’t think differently of me.”

“Of course I won’t! You’re my… my friend. And I should be the one who’s sorry.” Oikawa gets up and sits down next to Ushijima, who tenses. “Everyone between us is fine?”

Ushijima nods. “Yes.”

“Good. Thank you, Ushiwaka.”

“I’m going to brush my teeth now.” Ushijima just gets up and walks to the restroom, leaving Oikawa surprised. Is that normal? They just talked it out and all Ushijima does is just get up and go brush his teeth?

It’s fine. At least they talked it out and all is like it was before.

* * *

  


Except, it isn’t. Because Nationals are right around the corner and so is December, they go to a training camp with six different big universities that are known for their volleyball teams.

“There are going to be scouts,” their coach told them. “Not as many as there are going to be at Nationals, but show your best.”

They try. It’s hard, all teams are so good and they all play on another level and they train all day from morning to night. It’s easy to get distracted this way, there are so many new people to meet and talk to and so many new techniques they’re learning. 

“Has something happened between you and Ushijima?” Bokuto asks one day. It’s after practice and all their muscles are sore.

“Why?”

“Because you’re avoiding each other. It’s not like that time you had a fight,” Kuroo explains. “But you’ve been different around each other. Not flirting anymore.”

“We’re not flirting!”

“You can stop lying to them, they’re not stupid,” Mika suddenly says. She hands them water bottles and Oikawa groans and looks down.

“We kissed.”

“Ohoho?” Bokuto and Kuroo exchange glances and then Bokuto stops smiling: “When?”

“A week ago? After I broke up with Kaito, when we got drunk.”

“Yes!” Kuroo shouts. “I won!”

“Won what?”

“Oh, we had a bet when you’d to come around.” Bokuto shrugs. “We were confused because you dated Kaito and seemed to like him, but we were both sure it was still just a phase.”

“Misaki was in on the bet too,” Kuroo says. “She said you’ll come around at the end of the year.”

“I’m hurt! You bet on me? What kind of friends are you?”

“I didn’t.” Mika smiles. “Mostly, because I already knew you have feelings for Ushiwaka and I’m not an asshole.”

“But if you kissed, shouldn’t that make everything better?”

“No, it didn’t. He pushed me away, said it was a mistake and when we had a talk, he basically repeated the words and told me he wants to forget it.” Oikawa is pissed off too. He has tried, seriously tried to talk to Ushijima, as if nothing happened. But Ushijima reacted differently now, stopped reacting to him over all. They’ve been tense around each other, not during practice, though.

They’re both are mature enough now to leave all their problems when it comes to volleyball which Oikawa is glad for. Right now, Ushijima is talking to some other powerful player at the camp. “That can’t be right,” Kuroo says.

“Why?”

“He _loves_ you. I mean, he… he does… doesn’t he?” Bokuto asks and the other three nod in agreement. 

“You’re being stupid.”

“No, Oikawa, listen. You’re smart, I give you that. But when it comes to love, you’re an idiot,” Kuroo explains. “Ushijima obviously has feelings for you. I don’t get why he reacted to you this way, but I know he loves you.

“Dude, the way he looks at you when he thinks nobody can see. No, scratch that.“

“The way he looks at you even if everyone sees him,” Mika corrects and Kuroo nods.

“What she said. He’s heads over heels for you.”

“He likes someone else,” Oikawa murmurs. “He told me. That guy from Miyagi.”

The other three exchange looks, until Bokuto clears his throat. “Has he ever told you who it is?”

“Obviously not.” 

“Have you… ever thought that it might be _you_?” 

Oikawa blinks. No, that can’t be. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“Listen, what do we know about that secret crush of Ushiwaka’s?”

Oikawa thinks. “He’s from back home, he plays volleyball, they’re not on the same team, they weren’t friends, he’s a good player, he has liked him since his first year of High School. You know, that could be _anyone_.”

“Why the hell would Ushijima like anyone, but you?” Mika asks.

_Because I’m a mess._ I _don’t even like_ me _!_ “Because…”

“Cut the crap, Oikawa. You’re an idiot and so is he. Talk to him,” Kuroo says. “You’re frustrating.” 

“You were more frustrating,” Oikawa says.

“Nope. I just always liked my best friend. There were no other guys and no drunk kisses or drunk fights.”

Okay, he is right. Oikawa groans. “Okay, I’ll talk to him.”

* * *

  


Late night right before they all go to sleep, Oikawa spots Ushijima and walks up to him. hey’re both freshly showered and Ushijima talking to someone from another team and it doesn’t seem like a pleasant talk, until Oikawa walks in.

“Hey! I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have to talk with my teammate! Come with me, will you, Ushiwaka?” He grabs Ushijima’s sleeve and pulls him away, until they’re alone. It’s outside, dark and cold.

“You’ll get a cold. Your hair is still wet. We should go inside,” Ushijima points out.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does. Nationals are soon and we can’t lose you as our setter.”

Oikawa sighs and they go inside and he’s so nervous. When he stops, he turns around. “Why have you been so distant?”

“What do you mean?”

“After our talk. I thought we’d just… forget about our incident. And go back to where we were before. You know, friends?”

“We aren’t friends anymore?”

“Of course we are, Ushiwaka! You’re frustrating. I mean, we’re not as close as we used to be,” Oikawa explains. “What’s up with you? I thought we’ve talked about it and everything is okay again.”

_Please tell me you like me_.

“I am sorry I made you worried. I didn’t want you to be concerned, it’s nothing what you did.”

“But?”

“It’s something I did,” Ushijima explains. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“I kissed _you_. And I thought we had that talk already?”

“I know, but I still feel bad about it. It was a mistake. You just broke up with your boyfriend and you were drunk. I got carried away and I deeply regret it. I never should’ve kissed you back. That was a big mistake. I won’t do that again.”

Oikawa stares at him. They are all so wrong. Ushijima doesn’t have feelings for him. And if he does, he isn’t going to say anything. And neither is Oikawa, because he is a coward. “Listen to me, Ushiwaka: I don’t care. I never really liked Kaito anyway.” He pushes him against the wall behind them. “And you better go back to where we were before because I miss you.”

“Okay.”

“And don’t go on another guilt trip! It was just a kiss, for god’s sake! Nothing more!” It was. It has been so much more. Oikawa lets him go and steps back. “We’re friends. We’ve gone through too much to let this get to us. Don’t you agree, Ushiwaka?”

Ushijima nods. “Yes. I am sorry.”

“Stop apologizing!”

“Okay. We should head back and get some rest.”

Oikawa smiles, but it hurts. He doesn’t want to go back, but it was better than where they are now. “Yeah, we should.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (song: say ok- vanessa hudgens) finding lyrics for this fic is so funny bc i keep digging up old songs i used to listen when i was like 12. anyone else remember zanessa,, my otp (still bitter)
> 
> ALSO FUNF ACT THIS CHAPTER ORIGINALLY HAD SOME USHIJIMA/SAKUSA INTERACTION  
> but then i realized sakusa is a year younger than them all so he isnt in college yet. its tragic, so i had to edit him out :/ (and in future chapters too *sighs*)


	20. Coach said to fake right and break left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I doubt they have a beautiful setter like our team has, but I guess they’re not that bad.” He smiles and Ushijima returns the smile.
> 
> “I doubt it too.” Wait, did Ushijima just say he is beautiful?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretty much all around volleyball, the obligatory volleyball chapter
> 
> also we hit 200+ kudos, ay, thank you! :)

Maybe he should study more and pay more attention in class, but he doesn’t. For the next two weeks, Oikawa’s brain is filled with nothing but volleyball in his head. He’s only attending this university because of his scholarship for their famous and strong volleyball team anyway, so he doesn’t really care.

All Oikawa does is attend classes, go to practice and then watch videos of matches from the other teams. Luckily, he isn’t alone. The entire team has gotten into the fever, with Nationals right around the corner. They stay until it’s late at the gym and then discuss tactics. Even Mika is totally into it.

The good thing is that all of Oikawa’s friends are too. They all sometimes meet up to watch those videos together, but Oikawa prefers to watch them alone, so he won’t have to hear unnecessary comments from the others that distract him.

He’s glad, because all of this distracts him from his huge crush on Ushijima and yet they are still close and like they used to be.

One day, his muscles are way too sore, and he’s watching one of the videos again, when Ushijima comes back.

“Where were you?” Oikawa asks.

“Coach wanted to talk to me. I got an offer from one of the scouts,” Ushijima explains and Oikawa gestures him to sit down on Oikawa’s bed. He shifts a little bit, but doesn’t sit up. Ushijima sits down at the end of the bed and Oikawa has to turn around. He rests his head on his hand.

“And?”

“I turned it down,” Ushijima says.

“What? You have an offer from one of the scouts and you turned it down?”

“It isn’t my first offer.”

Oikawa shouldn’t be surprised. Ushijima used to be Japan’s under 18 representative for the Youth World Championship. “Are you waiting for a certain team?”

“Yes. The Panasonic Panthers.”

Oikawa sits up. “Always striving for the best, I see. But, Ushiwaka… They’re based in Osaka. Can’t you just go to FC Tokyo?”

“That’s the offer I declined.”  Sometimes, Oikawa is reminded why he used to hate Ushijima.

“You’re awful. So many others would die for such an offer. It’s a team from the V. Premiere League!”

“I am aware of that. You should never settle for anything less. You should always aim for the top and raise-”

“Please, don’t start on farm metaphors,” Oikawa begs and sighs. “But if you’re waiting for an offer from the Panasonic Panthers… You do know what this means, right? They’re based in _Osaka_. That is hundreds of kilometers away from here!“

“I know.”

Oikawa swallows. “You’re going to leave me alone.”

Their eyes meet and none of them say anything. Oikawa knows, he can’t tell him to stay with him forever. They might be on the same team now, they might be equals, friends, _more_. But Ushijima has been always in another league and Oikawa can’t stop him. He should be happy for Ushijima.

“It’s still a long time until then. I want to be on the winning team.”

Oikawa sits up and comes closer to Ushijima. “You said the winning team is where _you_ are. Does it matter which team it is then?”

“You said the winning team is where _we_ are.”

Oikawa smiles about the fact that he remembers. “I said that. But do you think I can get into the Panasonic Panthers, Ushiwaka?”

“I think, you can do anything.”

Oikawa blushes and buries his face in Ushijima’s shoulder. “God, don’t say something so sappy. You’re awful. My legs hurt already from all this training.” He throws them over Ushijima’s lap, who hesitates and then puts his hand over them. Oikawa gasps at the touch of Ushijima’s hand against his bare skin.

“What are you doing-”

Ushijima lifts one of Oikawa’s legs a little and starts massaging them. Oikawa closes his eyes and lays back, a moan escaping his lips. “That feels good.”

“Shall I continue?”

“Yes, idiot. I don’t say that and expect you to stop, Ushiwaka.” Oikawa opens his eyes and he feels like his whole face is burning up, seeing Ushijima massaging his legs. He hides his face with his arms and looks up to the ceiling, trying to calm down his fast beating heart.

Can that be? Can the person Ushijima is always referring to really be him?

* * *

  
The second week of December, Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium. It has the capacity of 10,000 people and currently is used for the All Japan Intercollegiate Volleyball Championships. There are so many people, it is the biggest amateur sport event Japan after all.

Oikawa knows there are scouts all around, as are camera teams, trying to capture everything. But all he cares right now, are the other teams. The other college teams and his own.

He is wearing his dark blue uniform already and so are his teammates and he is so nervous, he feels like his heart was going to burst. They still had thirty minutes before their first game and he feels sick.

“I’m going outside for a while,” he announces and the captain nods.

“Come back in fifteen minutes.”

Oikawa leaves and stands outside, trying to cool down and stop shaking, when Ushijima approaches him. “The fifteen minutes aren’t over, you know, Ushiwaka.”

“I wanted to see if you are okay.”

“I’m nervous as fuck,” Oikawa whispers. Less than a year ago, he never would’ve admitted it to Ushijima. His rival. And now they are together.

Ushijima’s hand trails over Oikawa’s shoulder. “I know. Me too.”

“You seem so calm.”

“I’m not. I’m never- I just can hide it very well,” he explains and Oikawa smiles and takes a deep breath.  “We can do this. We will win,” Ushijima assures him.

Oikawa holds out his pinky and Ushijima immediately wraps his around Oikawa’s. He has learned. “The winning team is where we are,” Oikawa agrees. “Hug me, Ushiwaka.”

And he does. He pulls him against his chest and Oikawa hugs him back, puts his arms over Ushijima’s broad stature and puts his head on his shoulder. They stay like this for a while, until they break apart and walk back to the gym to get ready for their first game.

* * *

  


Day after day, the win the games. Since the event is held over several days, they’re also all excused from classes. They lose once, but that doesn’t disqualify them and it doesn’t let them down. Their team is strong and good, and they’re in top form.

Ushijima even takes interviews, but he’s not the only one from their team. Their captain, Saito, is a big name too among the reporters. Maybe Oikawa is jealous. Just because he likes Ushijima and they are friends now, doesn’t mean he can’t be jealous, right?

They somehow get to the last day. There’s no way for them to even celebrate, because they fall asleep right away when they get back. The nice thing is that Ushijima and Oikawa give each other massages right before they sleep and Oikawa wants to turn around and just _kiss_ him, but now is not the time.

After the Championship, he promises.

They’re one of the last four remaining teams. It is so close, and yet so far away. They just had to win again and again. Oikawa isn’t surprised, that in the other team there’s also Kiryu, another one of the three best aces back in their school years.

“Hey, I was the fourth best ace,” Bokuto points out. “We have two, they only have one. We can do it.”

When they go on court for their first game, suddenly, somebody shouts: “Wakatoshi!”

Ushijima turns around and in front of him is a redhead guy. That is the one guy from Shiratorizawa, Oikawa has seen him at plenty games and he is displayed more than once in one of Ushijima’s pictures.

“Tendou,” Ushijima greets him.

“Hey, isn’t this great? We’re playing against each other for the first time!”

Oikawa has always hated that guy, he is so obnoxious and arrogant.

“Yes. I see you’re in the starting lineup?”

“Oh, our Middle Blocker injured himself yesterday,” Tendou explains. “So I’m here now, playing for the first time.” He grins. “I’m going to win against you, Wakatoshi.”

When they get into position, Oikawa grins. “Wakatoshi?”

“He calls me by my first name.”

“Would you mind if I’d do it?”

“It is better than ‘Ushiwaka’,” Ushijima says and Oikawa laughs.

“Ushiwaka it is then.”

It’s an exhausting game, but they win. It’s Ushijima who makes the last point and for a moment, nobody says anything, until the ball hits the ground and rolls away. Then, everyone is cheering. Oikawa lightens up and his and Ushijima’s gazes immediately meet and it’s like he’s moving on his own, when he runs towards Ushijima and right into his arms.

They’re reacting on their instincts. Ushijima throws his arms around Oikawa and lifts him up from the ground. “We made it!” he shouts and Ushijima nods.

“Yes.” He lets Oikawa down, but Oikawa doesn’t let go. His arms are still around Ushijima’s neck. They look each other into their eyes and they smile and it feels like they’re the only people in this hall, despite there being thousands of people around them. He doesn’t even care about the cameras capturing this moment. That is, until their teammates run towards them and hug them too.

Oikawa thinks, that maybe they’re all right. Ushijima probably also has feelings for him.

They move to the final and get some rest. Their captain, coach as well as the dean give them a speech and congratulate them for coming so far. 

Oikawa texts Iwaizumi, who quickly texts back “ _i know, i saw u on tv, well done_ ”. They watch some of the other team’s games. It’s a hard and exhausting match, but in the end one of the team wins. So, this is going to be their opponent. 

They have some more free time to get rest and they meet some other people outside. Most of them are their friends from college who are coming to watch them play and then there’s also the team of Fukurodani and Nekoma. And to Oikawa’s surprise, Iwaizumi, Matsukawa and Hanamaki.

“You came!” Oikawa shouts and his friends grin.

“Of course. Wanted to surprise you,” they say.

“Didn’t you say you watched it on TV?” Oikawa asks Iwaizumi, who shrugs.

“I lied. We were on the train and watched it on his phone,” he points to Hanamaki. He chats with his friends and then searches for Ushijima. He spots him talking to some player and Oikawa wonders, if he gives him one of those speeches he used to give Oikawa. Wait, what if he is the one guy who Ushijima likes?

“God, you’re really good friends, aren’t you?” Matsukawa asks. “I can’t believe it.”

Oikawa smiles. “Yeah, we are.”

“You could at least deny it!” 

Oikawa laughs and when he goes back to Ushijima, because his friends want to get seats, he’s talking to Tendou. Ushijima turns around to him. “It’s nice of them to visit you.”

“Yeah, it is,” Oikawa agrees. 

“Goshiki and Shirabu are here too,” Tendou says. “I just saw them. They wanted to see their Super Ace play, but couldn’t find you now.”

“I’ll thank them for coming later.”

They go back to their team and have to drag Kuroo and Bokuto away from their old teams and boyfriends, so they can get ready and warm up for the next game.

“Whatever happens,” Mika says. “Don’t forget how far you’ve come. Plus, it’s only your first year. You can still win the year after that and-”

“Mika-chan, stop thinking so negative!” Kuroo says and she sighs.

“I’m sorry. Good luck! Do your best, I will be cheering for you all!”

* * *

  


“Hey, you made it to the second place, that’s pretty damn good.”

“You were playing well and gave it your best.”

“There’s always next year.”

“It isn’t over.”

Oikawa knows it isn’t, but it doesn’t hurt any less. They made it so far only to lose at their last game and just get the second place. All their friends hug them, the college friends, Oikawa’s friends from Seijou, but it doesn’t make it any better.

In the end, they lost. Yes, they are in the second place, but it still hurt and he hates it. He thinks everything over and over again, how he could’ve acted differently for them to win. If he wouldn’t have made that mistake or the other… No, it’s too late for that anyway.

Their coach treats them for dinner and they all eat in silence, until Saito holds a speech. It doesn’t help, but at least it’s from one of their own, someone else who lost, their teammate.

“Plus, I heard the scouts were really interested,” he adds.

“Shut up, Saito, you’re already scouted.”

Their captain laughs and sits down. “It’s my last year. Next semester there’s a new captain. And I hope you get at least as far as we got this year, because I am going to come to your game! Don’t disappoint me!”

They promise, they won’t. 

The way back to their dorms feels surreal. The last few days have been so excited, they’ve been everything they worked towards and now it was all over. 

“It’s not over,” Ushijima says, when they’re back alone in their dorm and sits down next to Oikawa.

“I know.” Oikawa leans onto Ushijima. “But it still makes me so angry.”

“I know. Me too.”

“Want to shout it out again?” Oikawa jokes and Ushijima shakes his head.

“Unless you want to.”

“No. I don’t know, I’m angry, but not that angry. I think I’m mostly just disappointed.”

“Me too.” Ushijima puts his arm around Oikawa and they sit in silence for a while.

“Coach talked to me today,” Ushijima says after a while.

“Is it another scout?”

“It’s for the Asian Junior Men Volleyball Championships. I was invited to a practice game to join the national team. It depends how well I’ll play,” Ushijima explains.

“Wow.” Oikawa breathes out. He’s jealous, but he’s also happy for Ushijima. “When’s that?”

“At the beginning of next year.”

“You can do it.” Oikawa looks up. “I doubt they have a beautiful setter like our team has, but I guess they’re not that bad.” He smiles and Ushijima returns the smile.

“I doubt it too.” Wait, did Ushijima just say he is beautiful? Before Oikawa can say anything, Ushijima gets up.

“I’m getting ready for bed,” he announces and leaves.

God damn it, this was so frustrating. He has to do something. He has to take the matter into his own hands and make the first step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did a lot of research buuut in the end there was a lot of information i couldnt get +  
> i changed and teaked some stuff just so they can fit to my liking, sue me (pls not)
> 
> (getcha head in the game - high school musical)


	21. It's hard to look right at you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima hesitates, before he walks over to Oikawa’s bed and touches the fabric of the thigh highs. “Yes, they are.” He swallows and Oikawa narrows his eyes, when Ushijima lets him go immediately. “You should put something on, if you’re cold.”
> 
> “You could warm me up,” Oikawa teases.

It’s frustrating. It’s been four months since he realized he likes Ushijima and he has to _do_ something. He can’t deal with the sexual frustration anymore and he’s pretty much desperate now.

“I need your help,” he tells his friends when they’re all sitting together in the library and Ushijima isn’t there.

“Okay, is it about math?” Kuroo asks. “’Cause then you can count me out. I’m not bad at math, but I’m horrible at explaining.”

“No, it’s not. It’s about Ushiwaka.”

“Oh.” Kuroo nods.

“When isn’t it?” Mika teases and Oikawa shoots her an angry glare. He takes a deep breath.

“I have to do something,” he explains.

“No shit,” Bokuto deadpans. “We’ve been watching you and him dancing around each other for so long now, it’s exhausting!”

“Ssh!” Misaki hushes and then smiles. “I’m glad, Oikawa, that you’re finally going to do something.”

“So, you’re convinced now that you are the crush?” Kuroo asks.

“No, but I’m tired of sitting around,” Oikawa explains.

“He’s sexually frustrated,” Mika observes and Kuroo and Bokuto narrow their eyes to watch Oikawa.

“What are you- don’t look at me like that!” Oikawa shouts.

“This is a library, you idiot!” Misaki hisses.

“How do you know, Mika-chan?” Bokuto asks.

“I’m not an idiot. It’s only natural to be sexually frustrated after a while. Plus, they always see each other. Even naked in the showers. And Ushiwaka isn’t my type, but he has a nice body. I can’t believe it took Oikawa so long,” Mika points out and Oikawa blushes.

“I don’t see him naked.”

“Eh?”

“Yeah, he never showers together with Ushiwaka,” Kuroo explains. “Oh, now I understand.”

It’s true. Oikawa pretends to take really long to undress, so he won’t have to shower at the same time as Ushijima. He always waits until the other male is out of the shower to slip into it. Because of that, he’s also always the last one to be finished. But Ushijima always waits outside for him so they can walk back together.

“Just confess your feelings,” Misaki murmurs, turning back to her study material.

“No,” Kuroo says. “I have another idea.”

“Oh no, don’t listen to them-,” Misaki pleads but Oikawa raises his eyebrows.

“What is it?”

“Seduce him.”

“Huh?”

“Remember the time we made you sing Toxic to Ushiwaka?” Kuroo asks. “Like that. He was completely whipped, I swear.”

“Yeah, do that again,” Bokuto agrees.

“I can’t just go up to him and sing a seductive song!”

Mika laughs. “Oikawa, if anyone knows how to seduce someone, then it’s you. It’s easy. Touch him all the time.”

“He already does that,” Bokuto reminds her.

“Yeah, but like…” Mika grins. “Put your hand on his thigh. Squeeze it. Use your seductive voice. Walk around the house with nothing but thigh highs and short shorts.”

“Mika, I’m scared, how do you know all this?” Kuroo asks.

“Oh, when Suguru pisses me off, I like to do that and then deny him-”

“Okay, I take it back, I don’t need to know more,” he cuts her off. “Oh, I know what’s totally sexy! Kenma did it the other day and I melted.”

“I don’t really want to hear your kinky stuff,” Misaki says.

“It’s not kinky! He just wore my shirt when I got back. Really, nothing but my shirt.” Kuroo grins and licks over his lips.

“So it was kinky,” Misaki concludes and the others laugh.

“You know what Akaashi does to drive me crazy? He sends me those really sexy pictures of himself,” Bokuto explains.

“I don’t want to hear about your kinky stuff either!”

“You’re so boring, Misaki-san. I bet Alisa is into that too. And it’s not kinky, those aren’t nudes! They’re just… I don’t know. Sexy.” Bokuto shrugs. “You wanna see them?”

“Not really,” Oikawa says.

“Aw, pity. He has clothes on, I swear!”

“I can’t just send Ushiwaka sexy pictures of myself.”

“Why not?” Mika asks and Oikawa furrows his brows, questioning if she is serious or not.

“I can’t believe any of you at all,” Misaki says.

“Okay, what do _you_ do?” Kuroo raises his brow and Misaki blushes.

“We- she doesn’t need to seduce me. I’m already… Well, okay…” She looks down. “She calls me.”

“Oh. Phone sex,” Bokuto says. “Hot.”

“No, that’s not it! I mean, yeah, but the part where she calls me is good enough. And then she tells me how she misses me. And what she would do if I was there with her...”

“So basically, phone sex,” Bokuto concludes.

“I can’t do that, I see him every day!” Oikawa groans. This is hopeless.

“We’re meeting tomorrow after practice and going shopping,” Mika just declares.

“Why?”

“Because we’re going to buy you thigh high socks. Everybody likes them,” she explains and the other four nod in agreement. “Oh, and lube and condoms in case the plan works out, which I know, it will.”

“How would you know?”

“Oikawa, are you seriously asking that? You know you’re gorgeous, stop asking such stupid questions,” Kuroo shoots back.

“Aw, Kuroo, I didn’t know-”

“Quiet!” Misaki whispers and throws her book against Oikawa to shut him up, because the librarian is walking past them.

* * *

  


Maybe, it’s a stupid idea. At least, Iwaizumi tells him it is and he also goes on questioning Oikawa’s choice in friends for even suggesting him to do all those things. Oikawa’s argument was, that Hanamaki and Matsukawa would probably have suggested the same. And Oikawa is desperate.

So on the first day, he tries on those thigh highs. They got them in black and white and even have some lace at the upper part. Oikawa puts on the whites first together with a top and very short shorts. He looks at himself in the mirror.

He likes them. They make his legs look amazing- not that they weren’t already. And the shorts make his ass look great too. Oikawa grins and takes out his camera to take a picture. He hesitates before sending one to Ushijima. He knows he still has classes and will come back later.

_i bought those yesterday with mika chan what do u think (_ 。 ◕‿◕｡ _)_

He settles back on his bed and waits for an answer, but he doesn’t get one. He’s not surprised, because Ushijima doesn’t look on his phone during classes, so he waits. When his phone vibrates, Oikawa quickly opens the message.

_They look good._

Oikawa grins. _when are you home_ , he texts him. _they look even better in person i need a judge ushiwaka chan!_

_I will be back in twenty minutes._

_hurry up ushiwaka its getting cold!_

_Put something on._

Okay, now Oikawa is offended. Who the hell writes something like that back?! He is dressed like this for Ushijima and all he has to say is ‘Put something on’? _Ignore it, Oikawa. It’s Ushijima. He’s blunt and an idiot and he just doesn’t get those things like other people. It’s okay, it’s not because he doesn’t think you’re sexy._

Still, that answer doesn’t exactly raise Oikawa’s self confidence.

_idiot_ , he texts Ushijima and throws his phone away. He waits for Ushijima to come back and when he does, Oikawa is still lying sprawled out on his bed. He’s lying on his stomach and when Ushijima enters, he turns around and smirks.

“Hello, Ushiwaka!”

“Aren’t you cold?”

Oikawa’s smile drops. “Of course, but I wanted you to see. Aren’t these great? Mika-chan has good taste, doesn’t she?”

Ushijima looks over Oikawa’s legs and nods. “I suppose she does.” 

This is so _frustrating_. Oikawa raises one of his legs. “I even have them in black! Look, they’re so soft! Touch them!”

Ushijima hesitates, before he walks over to Oikawa’s bed and touches the fabric of the thigh highs. “Yes, they are.” He swallows and Oikawa narrows his eyes, when Ushijima lets him go immediately. “You should put something on, if you’re cold.”

“You could warm me up,” Oikawa teases.

“I could turn on the heater.”

“Ugh! Fine!” Oikawa groans and turns around, pressing his face into his pillow. He has to hold himself back not to scream in it.

* * *

  


Okay, it isn’t over yet. That has only been the first plan. There are more. 

He stops doing his laundry just to have an excuse to put Ushijima’s shirt on. Another day in which Ushijima has late classes and gets back later than Oikawa. Oikawa looks over his wardrobe and finds the jersey jacket from Shiratorizawa.

He bets Ushijima would like to see him in it, but he’ll never wear it. He hasn’t dropped that low and Oikawa is still prideful. He searches until he finds a T-shirt he thinks is big enough for it to show Oikawa’s shoulders and collarbones. 

He’s smaller than Ushijima, but Oikawa isn’t really tiny. Especially since the training here at college has been so intense, he has built up a lot of muscle mass. He is also not really much shorter than Ushijima, but the shirt is loose on him. Oikawa grins, looking at himself in the mirror.

He puts on some very tight leggings and then waits.

When Ushijima comes back, he looks over Oikawa. “Is that my shirt?”

“Yes, Ushiwaka, I hope you don’t mind,” Oikawa says. “I haven’t washed my laundry and I’m out of shirts! And this one fits me better than it does yours.” He sits up and positions himself so the T-shirt reveals his naked shoulder.

“It’s too big for you. I think it fits me better,” Ushijima deadpans. 

Is that guy for real? Maybe he really has the sex drive of a fridge. “But it’s so comfortable!”

“I was going to do laundry today anyway. Should I take your clothes too?”

Oikawa’s at the end of his wits. “Yeah. Take it,” he grunts. 

* * *

  


How can one person be so dense?

“Just try out the Misaki- Alisa method,” Kuroo suggested and now Oikawa got so desperate, that he does.

He calls Ushijima right when he knows his classes end. “Hey, Ushiwaka!”

“Is something wrong?”

“No, why would anything be wrong?”

“Because you’re calling me,” Ushijima explains.

“No, I’m just really bored,” Oikawa says. “I’m sitting on your bed.”

There’s a short silence. “You’re sitting on my bed?”

“Yes, Ushiwaka, you want me to repeat myself? I’m bored and I miss you,” Oikawa says.

“You saw me this morning.”

God, this is frustrating. “Does that mean I’m not allowed to miss you?”

“It doesn’t.”

“Good. Hurry up, I’m lonely.” He tries his best seductive voice. “And your bed is so comfortable. It smells like you.”

“I will try to come back soon to keep you company,” Ushijima promises. Sadly, his bed really is comfortable and Oikawa falls asleep. When he wakes up, Ushijima is sitting at his table, studying.

“Ushiwaka! Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You looked tired.”

“How can you look tired when you’re _sleeping_?!” Oikawa groans. “Stupid Ushiwaka! I wanted to spend time with you!”

“I’m sorry. We can spend time now.”

“What time is it?”

Ushijima looks at his watch. “Eleven p.m.”

“Forget it. Go to sleep, Ushiwaka.” He gives up.

* * *

  


His friends laugh, when he tells them about his misfortune.

“Well, it’s Ushiwaka, I can’t say we’re surprised,” Misaki says.

“But still!” Oikawa pouts. “I’ve done it all. I walked around in thigh highs and he told me to put clothes on. I wore his shirt and he offered me to wash my clothes. I was calling him all needy and laying in his bed and he didn’t even wake me up! What kind of person does that?”

“Ushiwaka,” Bokuto and Kuroo answer in unison.

“He’s so frustrating! Everyone else would’ve fallen into my charm!”

“I know why it didn’t work,” Mika says.

“What, now you’re acting all knowing? You were the one who suggested it!” Oikawa cries.

“I know, but we went with the usual seduction of normal people.”

“What is that supposed to mean? Ushiwaka isn’t normal?” Bokuto asks and Mika nods.

“You don’t get to him like that.”

“Then how?”

“Ask him on a date,” Mika explains.

“I bet he wouldn’t even get that,” Oikawa says. “You know, he’s so dense. He didn’t even get it when I told him to touch my thigh highs.”

“That’s why you’re going to say it’s a _date_.”

Oikawa thinks about it. “But how?” He has never asked anybody out. It has always been the other way round.

“I know!” Kuroo raises his hand. “Christmas is soon! We’re spending it with our lovers too! Just ask him if he wants to spend Christmas with you! It’s a holiday for lovers anyway.”

This isn’t even a bad idea. “Okay,” Oikawa says. “I will.”

* * *

  


It’s two days before Christmas, when Oikawa brings it up.

“Ushiwaka?”

“Yes?”

“What are you doing for Christmas?” Oikawa sits down next to Ushijima on his bed.

“Nothing.”

“You know, all our friends are busy. Kuroo and Kenma are going out, like Mika and Daishou, Bokuto and Akaashi, and Misaki and Alisa.”

“I am aware of that,” Ushijima says. “It is a holiday for lovers after all.”

“So… do you…” God, why is this so hard? Oikawa has spent the last few days practically throwing himself at Ushijima and trying to seduce him, but asking him out on a date was impossible? “Want to spend the day with me?”

“I assumed we already were.”

“What?”

“Since everyone else has plans already, it leaves us two.”

Oh god, he really was that dense. Oikawa groans. “Ushiwaka. Think again.” He seems to not understand what Oikawa means and just tilts his head. 

“I want to spend Christmas with you.”

“Yes.”

“Christmas…”

Ushijima widens his eyes and then seems to be flustered. “It’s a holiday for lovers,” he points out. “Oh.” 

Oikawa smiles. “I’m aware of that. Please wear something nice and bring a scarf in case I’m cold. It’s snowing already and if I complain, which I will, you can lend me yours,” he says and Ushijima smiles.

“I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (song: call me maybe - carly rae jepsen) (only bc the music video reminded me of oikw desperately trying to seduce ushiwaka)
> 
> ok a kinda funny chapter?  
> also oikawa finally doing smth  
> and asking ushiwaka out
> 
> also pls yell w me abt anything on tumblr i'm still crying over the fact that my fav team shiratori is back in hq (AND SEMISEMI) (@ [aegontargaryen](http://redrobin.co.vu))


	22. You appear just like a dream to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa tugs at Ushijima’s scarf, which he’s holding in his hand. “What did we say?”
> 
> Ushijima puts it around Oikawa’s neck and they don’t say a word and just look at each other. He slowly strokes Oikawa’s cheek, before pulling back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas  
> says me  
> in july
> 
> btw thanks for all the nice comments last night!!!  
> i pulled an all nighter and its 8am and i'm still kinda drunk so i'll get to reply to them later lmao

Kuroo and Bokuto look at him, as if he was crazy.

“What?” Oikawa groans.

“Every time you ‘dress up nicely for the occasion’, it ends in a disaster,” Kuroo says. He furrows his brows and points at Oikawa’s sweater. “What is that?”

“A Christmas sweater. It’s cute, isn’t it?”

“Bro, yes, of course,” Bokuto agrees. “But that’s it. Even I can see it’s shit.”

Oikawa looks down. “I read ugly Christmas sweaters are in fashion.”

“Yes, they are. If they’re not that ugly.” Kuroo shakes his head. “Where did you even get the idea?”

Oikawa groans and takes off his sweater again. “Okay, next outfit.” He shows them the button down shirt he has picked out. It’s in a turquoise color, a color he thinks fits him perfectly.

“Nice,” Bokuto and Kuroo agree.

“Good. And then I wanted to wear this underneath.” He points at a T-shirt with zebra stripes and Kuroo and Bokuto look at him as if they try really hard not to laugh.

“You should be lucky Ushiwaka isn’t a fashion icon,” Kuroo says.

“Or that he doesn’t care what you wear,” Bokuto agrees.

“And that you’re hot, because otherwise nobody would even look twice at you.”

“You’re rude! I never should’ve asked you for help!” Technically, he has asked Mika and Misaki first, especially because Mika was one of the most fashionable people on campus, has even been stopped sometimes on the streets for her fashion sense. But when he asked her, she told him Ushijima asked them first.

Oikawa is on the one hand extremely happy about the fact that Ushijima really tries to look good on their date, on the other hand, he is now stuck with Kuroo and Bokuto to give him advice.

“Okay, then go out in that outfit,” Kuroo says. “I dare you.”

“No! Help me!”

“It’s easy,” Bokuto tells him. “Wear something warm. You can go with a cardigan.” He looks around at the mess of clothes that Oikawa has piled up in front of them and picks something out. “Here.” He throws it in Oikawa’s hand and he unfolds it.

It’s a beige cardigan. “And underneath?”

“You can just wear a T-shirt?” Kuroo frowns.

“But isn’t that boring?”

“Oikawa, what the hell do you think is fashionable? Put on the cardigan and then you can wear this button up shirt underneath it and some skinny jeans. Finished,” Kuroo groans. He gets up from Oikawa’s bed and puts the bag of potato chips he has eaten from until now in Bokuto’s lap.

“Here.” He pushes a sleeveless and white button up shirt at Oikawa. “Wear this. And… This dark grey skinny jeans. End. It’s not that hard!”

“I feel boring,” Oikawa complains.

“Wear jewelry,” Bokuto suggests.

“Does it even matter? Ushiwaka thinks you’re the love of his life or something like that anyway,” Kuroo says and sits back next to Bokuto to eat more potato chips.

“Yes, it does.” But Oikawa smiles.

* * *

  


The thing is, Oikawa still isn’t sure if Ushijima really likes him.

Okay, no, scratch that. If Ushijima wouldn’t like him, he would’ve said no. But Oikawa isn’t sure if he’s really the guy Ushijima was always talking about. His crush since first year in High School.

Because that is ridiculous. Why would Ushijima like him? Oikawa has been nothing but rude to him and Ushijima too. Well, he was probably just awkward and didn’t know how to handle a crush, but Oikawa gave him no reason to like him?

He thinks about Ushijima’s words daily, how he told him that his crush was beautiful, strong, a good player, hard working and extremely stubborn. It’s him, isn’t it? When Oikawa asked Iwaizumi a day before his and Ushijima’s date, his best friend just groaned.

“I thought you’re not _that_ stupid, Shittykawa.”

That didn’t exactly help Oikawa much. Finding a good present for Ushijima has been horrible too, he has avoided him all the time since he asked him and went to the city to find something to give him, but Oikawa didn’t know what.

He doesn’t know what to think of the present he got for Ushijima now, but at least it’s something. And hey, he was the one who finally took the first step! He gets the gift last minute and when Oikawa checks the time again, he realizes it’s too late for him to go back to their dorms and meet Ushijima there, since he has made a reservation in a restaurant. It’s impossible to get a place on Christmas if you don’t make one.

_ushiwaka im running late lets meet @ the restaurant_ _  
_ _also sorry  (_ ๑ ◕︵◕๑ _)_

_It_ ’s okay, _I don’t mind. I’ll see you in thirty minutes._

Wait, what is he supposed to do in the next thirty minutes? He could go to the restaurant and sit down there and wait for Ushijima, because it was cold outside and it seems like it’s starting to snow. Oikawa hopes Ushijima really has taken a scarf with him, because he needed it. He could’ve just taken his own, but he liked the thought of wrapping Ushijima’s scarf around himself.

No. _Ushijima_ wrapping the scarf for Oikawa.

He smiles about the thought and starts heading to the restaurant. When he arrives, he asks if it’s okay that he arrived earlier or if it’s too full. Luckily, they have no problem with that and Oikawa sits down in the back. He takes off his jacket and puts the bag in which Ushijima’s gift is in next to him.

It’s not a fancy restaurant, it was only their first date after all. And hopefully not their last. He waits and it’s kind of embarrassing to sit alone in a restaurant on Christmas. That is, until two girls approach him.

“Are you alone? Don’t you want to sit with us?” one of them asks.

“It’s better to not spend Christmas alone, you know!” the other says and Oikawa laughs.

“I’m not alone.”

“There’s nobody,” the first one points out. “We’re waiting for someone else too, so we’d be two girls and two boys.”

Oikawa smiles and eyes her. She’s pretty and confident, but she’s not his type. “I’m sorry, but I’m waiting for somebody too. And thank you for inviting me, but you’re not my type. My type is…” He looks up and spots Ushijima walking towards him, “that guy.”

The girls look up and are surprised to see Ushijima. His nose, cheeks and ears are red from the cold and there are snowflakes in his hair and scarf.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” the second girl says. “Have fun on your date.”

“You make a cute couple! Don’t mind us!” The first girl winks at them and grabs her friend’s hand and leaves.

Ushijima is confused by what’s happening and Oikawa laughs.

“Sit down first and warm up.” He pushes his hot chocolate towards Ushijima. “They wanted me to join them. But I of course declined, because they’re not my type.”

“Because you’re not interested in women.”

“No- yes. I mean, because I’m here with you, stupid.” He puts his hand on the table and wriggles it. Ushijima doesn’t seem to understand. “Put your hand on mine.” He does and Oikawa eyes it. “I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“You’re a human heater. Even the cold doesn’t make your hand cold. It’s normal human temperature now,” Oikawa explains and pulls his hand back. “I guess that’s pretty useful in winter.”

“I always have a normal human temperature,” Ushijima defends himself.

“Sure, you have.” Oikawa grins and Ushijima takes off his jacket and scarf. He wears almost exactly the same as Oikawa, but instead of a beige cardigan, it’s in a greyish brown color and the button up shirt underneath it has long sleeves he has rolled up to his elbows.

And damn, does he look good in that. The button up shirt hugs his chest and Oikawa can’t stop staring. “Looks like we got the same fashion advice,” Oikawa says.

Ushijima looks down and smiles. “You look good.”

“Yeah. You too…” Before it can get any more awkward, a waitress appears and hands out the menu. Before Ushijima can order something, Oikawa snatches the menu away from him.

“No, Ushiwaka, I’ll order for you. I mean, if that’s okay.”

“Of course.”

“We’ll get my favorite menu from this restaurant,” Oikawa explains. “Then, we’ll go to buy a Christmas Cake and go back to the dorms, where we exchange our presents!”

“I see you’ve planned everything out.”

“Yeah, well. That’s why I was so busy the last couple of days,” Oikawa confesses, his cheeks burning up. He has never taken out anyone on a date, yet alone the person he likes, so it has to be special.

“I’m glad. Thank you,” Ushijima says.

At first it’s awkward between them. This is different, this is an actual date, but none of them talk about that. After a while, Oikawa asks: “Remember the time we were at that Maid Café?”

“Yes.”

“I still have the picture.” Oikawa grabs out his wallet and shows it to Ushijima.

“It’s not really flattering,” Ushijima says. “And you cut off Kaito and Imada.”

“And I know, but I still like it. And of course I did, I have nothing to do with them anymore. The only good memory from that time was that I got to spend that day with you, Ushiwaka.”

Ushijima looks up at him, directly into his eyes and it makes Oikawa so nervous he looks down again. “So, you and Imada… Have you talked since Kaito and I broke up?”

“Yes, we have.”

“You don’t like lying to me, do you?”

“I don’t like lying in general. I don’t see the point in it,” Ushijima explains. “But there are things I’d rather not tell.”

“Sometimes I hate that you’re so honest. Or rather, I used to hate it so much,” Oikawa says. “But it’s not that bad anymore, Ushiwaka. I guess I won’t ask.”

“You won’t?”

“What? You think I poke my nose into everything?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa laughs and kicks Ushijima against his leg under the table. “You’re mean, Ushiwaka. I know when to draw the line!”

“I know.”

* * *

 

  


When they step outside, it’s pitch black already, even though it’s not that late.

“Ushiwaka, we have a white Christmas!” Oikawa shouts. It’s still snowing and while the snow doesn’t really stay, because there are so many people, he hopes there’s some at their dorms later.

He puts on his beanie and turns to Ushijima. “When was the last time we saw snow? Three years ago, right?”

“Yes, I think so.”

Oikawa tugs at Ushijima’s scarf, which he’s holding in his hand. “What did we say?”

Ushijima puts it around Oikawa’s neck and they don’t say a word and just look at each other. He slowly strokes Oikawa’s cheek, before pulling back. The scarf smells like Ushijima and Oikawa takes a deep breath.

“We’re going to buy a Christmas Cake now,” Oikawa declares and puts his hand in his pockets, so they won’t get cold. He wishes, he could just hold Ushijima’s hand. They walk together through the city and it’s so beautiful. He has never been in Tokyo during Christmas and there were lights everywhere.

“I feel like such a small town boy now,” Oikawa jokes. “It’s beautiful.”

“It is,” Ushijima agrees.

They talk and chatter a bit more, Oikawa mostly teases him and sometimes, Ushijima teases him back. They take pictures and selfies and Oikawa sends them all to the Peadick group chat, only to see that the other couples have sent plenty of selfies too. He smiles about it and sends one to the group chat with Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

They find a supermarket which sells Christmas Cake and Ushijima pays for it, since Oikawa insisted on paying for dinner.

When they get out of the inner city and back to their dorms, the snow shows itself more and more. It’s still snowing, just not as much.

“Do you think the snow will stay?” Oikawa asks.

“I hope not.”

“What? Why not? Snow is great.”

“I couldn’t go jogging.”

Oikawa laughs. “You’re so weird, Ushiwaka.”

“I’m not too fond of snow.”

“Really not? I love snow. Winter is better than summer, summer is way too hot. Plus, I think I look great with snow. It makes me look like Snow White, don’t you think, Ushiwaka?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Ushijima replies. “But you do look great.”

Oikawa stops and so does Ushijima. “Yeah?” he breathes.

“Yes. You’re beautiful.”

Oikawa’s heart is beating faster and Ushijima steps forward and Oikawa’s such an idiot, he _panics_. He grabs a fistful of snow and throws it against Ushijima’s chest, who stops and stares at him with a bewildered expression. “What was that?”

“It’s called a snowball. And this is a snowball fight!” he shouts and throws another ball of snow towards Ushijima, this time it hits his stomach.

“Oikawa.”

“You can’t stop me!” Oikawa shouts. It’s too dark to see anything, but the light of the snow is enough. He stumbles back and tries to form more snowballs and then one hits him against his head and Oikawa looks up.

“I’m sorry, I-”

“Stupid Ushiwaka!” Oikawa shouts and throws another at Ushijima. It gets out of control and turns into a snowball fight. They’re laughing messes, Oikawa can’t even feel his fingers anymore. But he doesn’t care, because Ushijima is laughing recklessly and isn’t holding back.

That is, until Oikawa tackles him and they both fall down in the snow with Oikawa on top of him. He puts his freezing hands against Ushijima’s cheeks.

“I can’t feel them anymore, Ushiwaka, take responsibility.” He’s still laughing and so is Ushijima. “Stop laughing! Your body is shaking under me!”

“I’m sorry.” Ushijima, still smiling. He takes one of Oikawa’s hands and places a kiss in the palm.

“Ushiwaka,” Oikawa whispers, when they’re both silent. It’s dark and cold and nobody’s around.

“Yes?”

“If you don’t kiss me right now, I swear to god, I’m going to-”

Ushijima cuts him off by pulling him down for a kiss. His hand is at the back of Oikawa’s neck and it’s surprisingly cold too, but Oikawa doesn’t care. He can’t exactly feel his lips too, but when they meet Ushijima’s they slowly warm up.

He closes his eyes and kisses him back. It’s different than back then, when they were both drunk. Back then, everything has been dizzy and in a blur. Now it is all clear. It is cold and it took a while until he could feel everything again, but it’s amazing. The feeling of how the heat slowly returns into his body and how Ushijima cups his face to pull him closer.

His other hand is on Oikawa’s back and Oikawa opens his mouth to kiss him with tongue. He has waited so long for this, this one moment and he can’t believe it’s finally here.

Ushijima’s leg is between his and Oikawa moans, when he can feel it pressing against him. He takes a deep breath and pulls back, staring down at Ushijima, laying in the snow.

“Isn’t it cold?” he asks.

“I don’t mind.”

“Why? Because we’re kissing?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa smiles and leans down to kiss him again, this time it’s just a short and sweet kiss.

“We should get up and go inside,” Ushijima suggests. “Before we both catch a cold.” He sits up and Oikawa does too.

“I don’t want to,” he murmurs, resting his head against Ushijima’s, who cups Oikawa’s face again. His thumb strokes against Oikawa’s lips before he kisses him again. When they break their kiss again, they both stare at each other, before they start to laugh.

“Took us long enough,” Oikawa says.

“I agree.” Ushijima hugs him around his waist. “Now we should get back.”

“Okay.” Oikawa nods and Ushijima kisses him on his forehead, before Oikawa gets up and helps him up. Ushijima pats the snow away and they walk back to the dorm.

“We should change and shower,” Ushijima says.

Oikawa shifts. Shower. Together. Ushijima must’ve noticed what he said too, because he blushes. “You can go first,” he suggests and takes off Oikawa’s beanie.

“Are you, er, sure? I mean, uh...” Oikawa gestures around wildly and Ushijima nods.

“I’m going to get us some hot coffee,” Ushijima says and kisses him, when they arrive their dorm.

“Okay.” Oikawa nods. He should go now, get his clothes, undress and shower under hot water, but he can’t stop smiling and he also can’t stop kissing Ushijima.

“Oikawa.” Ushijima’s voice is so deep and Oikawa loves it.

“Yeah?” Oikawa breathes in between their kisses. They get more passionate with each kiss.

“You should undress.”

“Anything for you.” Right before Oikawa can strip, Ushijima grabs his shoulders.

“I mean your clothes are wet from the snow.”

“Oh.” Oikawa blushes and pushes him away. “Are you smiling, Ushiwaka?”

“No.” He definitely is.

“I hate you,” Oikawa murmurs. “Fine, I’ll go shower.” He grabs clothes to change to and disappears, but on his entire way to the showers, he can’t stop smiling.

_Finally_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its so funny how ushiwaka first had a crush on oikw when he was in 1st yr of hs (so around 15yrs) and now finally got his REAL kiss
> 
> bc i also met this guy @ a high school reunion who i used to think is hot back in 9th grade and after 4 yrs finally got my kiss from him lmaooo
> 
> anyway, usually i'm a SUCKER for dramatic getting together in which they shout out their feelings, but this time i just didnt feel like itd fit. just them being cute and fluffy seems much more natrual
> 
> (song: when i look at you - miley cyrus)


	23. You got my heart racing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t care,” Oikawa replies. “You’re an awful person. Walking in with just one towel. Stupid Ushiwaka.” He kisses him again and then Ushijima pulls him closer by his waist.
> 
> “I’m the awful person? I remember a certain person walking around in nothing but short shorts, thigh high socks, oversized T-shirts, and especially, my clothes,” Ushijima reminds him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall have seen this coming

When he gets back, Ushijima has cut the cake and got them coffee.

“Ushiwaka, I think I might have fallen in love with you all over again,” Oikawa declares, when he steps into the room and smells the strong coffee. He hugs Ushijima from behind, who turns around and smiles.

“Fallen in love?” Oikawa blushes and hides his face in Ushijima’s shoulder. “I’m not going to say that again. Wait, is that a Christmas tree?”

He notices a little tree on the table now too. It’s barely two feet big, but its light changes color and Oikawa’s stomach flutters. “You’re so sappy. Go shower and be quick or I’ll eat the entire cake by myself.”

“Okay. I will try and hurry up.” Ushijima places a kiss on top of his head and leaves.

Oikawa sits down on his bed and then groans, putting his face in his hands. Ushijima is so _cute_. He looks at the cake that was neatly placed on Ushijima’s table next to the coffee and can’t help but smile. It already hurts how much Oikawa is smiling right now.

They did it. They finally kissed. After months of pining and misunderstandings… So does this mean he really is the guy Ushijima has been liking all along? That sounds crazy. Of course, it makes Oikawa happy and flattered, but… He has been such an asshole to Ushijima, he feels bad now.

Not only in the beginning, because who wouldn’t hate Ushijima if they were in his place? He has always been so rude to Oikawa and gave him horrible speeches after their games. 

Does it matter anymore? He is here now and Ushijima has kissed him and he is in the shower and… Fuck. Ushijima. In the shower. Oikawa doesn’t know what he would’ve done if they had showered together. Probably fallen all over him, which isn’t exactly good because somebody might walk in on them.

Or he would’ve at least got hard looking at Ushijima.

Oikawa sighs and takes a sip from both coffees. He immediately knows which one is for him, because Ushijima has got him it exactly how he liked it, sweet with much sugar. 

He’s watching the little fairy lights changing its colors at the Christmas tree, when the door falls open.

“I forgot to take my clothes,” Ushijima declares.

“What, you went to shower without clothes?” Oikawa turns around only to see Ushijima with nothing but a towel around his waist and another around his neck. His hair is still wet against his forehead and there’s this one water drop traveling from his chest down to his navel.

Oikawa swallows hard. “Ushiwaka, I hate you so much, you know?”

“What did I do?” Ushijima walks over to his closet to get clothes, but Oikawa is faster. He pushes Ushijima against the closet and kisses him. He doesn’t even bother with starting with a sweet and gentle kiss, he kisses Ushijima mouth opened, needy and cups Ushijima’s face with his hands.

“You’re getting wet,” Ushijima states, when they part and are breathless from the kiss.

“I don’t care,” Oikawa replies. “You’re an awful person. Walking in with just one towel. Stupid Ushiwaka.” He kisses him again and then Ushijima pulls him closer by his waist.

“I’m the awful person? I remember a certain person walking around in nothing but short shorts, thigh high socks, oversized T-shirts, and especially, my clothes,” Ushijima reminds him.

Oikawa laughs. “So it did have an effect on you. I thought you were just… weird.”

“Of course. I had to hold myself back.” Ushijima’s hands wander lower and he cups Oikawa’s ass before he kisses him again. It feels so good, way better than with Kaito. Probably, because Oikawa never had feelings for Kaito, but with Ushijima he feels like he’s bursting with happiness every second. “Nobody would’ve been unaffected to see you like that.”

“Really?” Oikawa smirks and put his hand on Ushijima’s chest. 

“You drove me crazy,” Ushijima confesses. “I just... wasn’t sure if you really...” He places a kiss next to Oikawa’s mouth, his cheek and then places them on his jawline. Oikawa closes his eyes, wrapping his arms around Ushijima’s neck. 

“How about now? Am I still driving you crazy?”

“It’s even worse.” 

“Ushiwaka,” Oikawa whispers against his ear. “Carry me.” He wraps one of his legs around Ushijima’s, who then easily carries him, both of Oikawa’s legs wrapped around Ushijima’s waist. Oikawa is surprised. He has carried him a lot of times, but he’s still surprised. 

Ushijima gently places him on his bed and leans over him, watching him. 

Oikawa watches him too. How his dark eyes take everything of Oikawa in, how his hair is still wet and dripping onto Oikawa, how his whole body tenses. “Relax,” Oikawa whispers, carefully touching Ushijima’s collarbone.

Ushijima relaxes under his touch and they kiss again. Ushijima is a good kisser, which surprises him too. He sucks on Oikawa’s bottom lip a little bit, bites down gently on it, while his other hand roams over Oikawa’s upper body.

“Ushiwaka,” Oikawa breathes.

“Don’t call me that.”

“You don’t _really_ mind.” Oikawa chuckles. He pushes his leg between Ushijima’s and smirks, when Ushijima lets out a low groan.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” Ushijima states.

“Then take them off for me.” Oikawa sits up and Ushijima’s hand goes under his shirt, touching his skin underneath. He has dreamt and thought about those hands so many times now, how they’d touch him. They’re rough and warm and the touch is so gentle. On the one hand, Oikawa loves it. He loves how gentle Ushijima is touching him, as if he is the most precious thing on earth. On the other hand, he has no patience anymore. 

Luckily, Ushijima takes off Oikawa’s shirt for him. He places his hand on Oikawa’s hips and leaves a trail of kisses from Oikawa’s jawline down to his neck, until he meets his collarbone. Oikawa shivers and throws his arms around Ushijima. He drives his fingers through Ushijima’s wet hair and pulls him up only to kiss him again.

It’s a messy and sloppy kiss with too much tongue and saliva, but neither of them care right now. Oikawa lets out a moan, when Ushijima caresses his nipples, pinching them between his fingers. Before Oikawa can do anything, Ushijima presses him flat down on the bed again, wrapping Oikawa’s legs around his hips. 

His tongue meets Oikawa’s chest, leaving a trail until he licks one of his nipples, sucking on them softly and biting. Oikawa gasps and digs his nails in Ushijima’s back. “Ushiwaka,” he moans, “please.” 

He grinds against Ushijima and can already feel that he’s also hard underneath his towel. Ushijima groans, kisses him on the lips again. He cups the front of Oikawa’s sweatpants, making the other hold their breath. Oikawa bucks his hips against the touch and Ushijima smiles, biting down on Oikawa’s lower lip.

“Don’t tease me,” Oikawa whispers.

“You tease me all the time,” Ushijima replies.

“What, is this payback?”

Ushijima doesn’t reply. He lowers his face to Oikawa’s crotch and pulls down his sweatpants with his teeth. Fuck, seeing him like this makes Oikawa even harder. “Fuck,” he whispers, when Ushijima frees him off his pants. Ushijima sits up and looks down at Oikawa, who’s already breathing heavily.

“You’re beautiful,” Ushijima says, stroking Oikawa’s thighs.

Oikawa blushes. “Shut up, I know that already,” he jokes. 

“Then why are you blushing?”

“Because you’re the one who’s telling me, idiot.” Oikawa kisses him. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“I love you.”

Oikawa holds his breath and stares at Ushijima. Ushijima loves him. He said it. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” Ushijima pulls one of Oikawa’s legs up and kisses his knee- his bad knee. “You’re gorgeous. I love your legs.”

“Do you have a leg fetish, Ushiwaka?” Oikawa teases, but his heart is beating faster.

“Would you mind?” Ushijima asks and now kisses Oikawa’s inner thigh.

“Ah, no,” Oikawa gasps, as Ushijima leaves more kisses and comes closer to his crotch. He loops one of his fingers into the waistband of Oikawa’s boxer shorts and gives Oikawa a look. 

“Get on with it already, Ushiwaka, don’t need to ask me!”

Ushijima takes off Oikawa’s boxer shorts, the last reminding piece of clothing Oikawa had on him. He’s already so hard, pre-cum leaking, his whole body flushed. Ushijima lets go of Oikawa’s leg and takes off his towel too. 

God, he’s huge. Not that Oikawa is surprised, he has dreamt a lot about Ushijima’s cock already, imagined how big it would be and how it would feel inside him. And right now, he wanted nothing more than that. 

Oikawa lets out a moan, when Ushijima licks him from the base to the tip. “God- Fuck, Ushiwaka, you don’t need to-”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No! Oh god, no.” Oikawa puts his hand over his mouth to muffle his moans, but Ushijima pulls his hand away.

“Don’t. I want to hear your voice,” he tells him, before he kisses the tip of Oikawa’s cock. He swirls his tongue around it and Oikawa wonders, how Ushijima has so much confidence. He’s a virgin, isn’t he? How does he know how to do this or why wasn’t he afraid to do it on his first time?

Oikawa can’t really think much about this anymore, because Ushijima starts sucking on one of his balls and massaging the other with his hand before he slowly takes Oikawa in. His mind is gone completely blank, all he can feel right now is the pleasure and Ushijima’s hot, wet mouth around his cock. Oikawa doesn’t even hold back his moans. 

He grips into the sheets with one hand and in Ushijima’s hair with the other. Ushijima is good at this, not an expert, because he can’t take everything in, but the way he moves his head and uses his tongue drives Oikawa crazy. Plus, he’s way better than Oikawa was at his first time giving a blowjob.

He has to hold himself back to not buck up his lips. “Ushiwaka, stop- I’m going to come,” Oikawa moans and Ushijima pulls back and hovers over Oikawa again, whispering, “Then come for me,” while stroking Oikawa’s cock at a fast pace. Oikawa grips into Ushijima’s biceps and comes with a scream, which is then silenced by Ushijima’s lips on him.

When they part, Oikawa breathes heavily and looks up at Ushijima. “That was...”

“Good?”

“Yeah.” He nods. “How did you... Aren’t you a virgin?”

Ushijima blushes. “Yes.”

“You can’t tell me all of this... you can’t tell me you’ve never done this with anyone else before.”

“I haven’t,” Ushijima says. “My first kiss was Imada-san and we didn’t go much farther than that.”

“But... how?”

“It’s a long story.”

Oikawa narrows his eyes and then sighs. “Okay. You can tell me later.”

“Later?”

“Yes. Right now, I want you to fuck me.”

“But you just came,” Ushijima points out, but Oikawa can see that he became harder at those words.

“And now I want you to fuck me. Please, Ushiwaka.” Oikawa throws his arms around him and pulls him down for a kiss.

“Anything,” Ushijima groans against his lips. Oikawa spreads his legs so Ushijima can settle right between them.

“There’s, ah, lube in my drawer,” Oikawa tells him and Ushijima grabs for it. “I, uh, bought it when I tried to seduce you.”

“With your clothes?”

“Yeah.”

“I should punish you for that.”

Oikawa can’t believe that makes him hot. “Fuck, Ushiwaka, somebody’s really kinky here.” He smirks, but then Ushijima grinds against him and he can feel himself getting hard again. 

Ushijima pours the lube from the bottle onto his fingers. “Come on,” Oikawa pleads, “open me up.” He’s not patient, despite the fact that he has just come. Ushijima massages Oikawa’s entrance, who gasps by the coldness of the lube, before pushing one finger in. 

God, his fingers are huge. Way bigger than Oikawa’s and also bigger than Kaito’s. 

“Does it hurt?” Ushijima asks him carefully.

Oikawa bites down on his lips and shakes his head. “No,” he murmurs. “Hurry up, I want you inside me.”

Ushijima moans and curls his finger, moving it inside Oikawa. “Don’t just say those things or I can’t hold myself back anymore,” he warns him.

“Don’t hold back,” Oikawa breathes. “Don’t. I want you.”

Ushijima adds another finger and this time, it hurts a little bit. Ushijima’s fingers massage his inside walls, while he sucks on Oikawa’s neck. This will probably leave a mark, but Oikawa doesn’t care. “Please, Ushiwaka. Another, I need you.”

Ushijima adds another finger and soon after, he hits that spot, that makes Oikawa’s toes curl. He aches his back and moans. “God, yes. There, Ushiwaka...”

“Here?”

“Yeah! Oh, fuck, please. Come on, this is enough. I want you now, I’ve waited long enough!”

“No.” Ushijima kisses him. “I’m going to take this slow.”

“You’re such an asshole, Ushiwaka!” Oikawa cries, but then he hits that spot again and he moans. Three fingers are inside him and all he wants now is Ushijima’s cock and he feels like he’s going to come again soon, if Ushijima doesn’t hurry up. So he curls his fingers around Ushijima’s cock and starts stroking it.

“Come on, Wakatoshi,” Oikawa moans in Ushijima’s ear.

“Fuck.” It’s a surprise to hear him curse and Oikawa smirks, knowing he has won. Ushijima pulls his fingers out, leaving Oikawa empty and needy for more. “Ssh,” Ushijima whispers and kisses Oikawa. “I know.”

Oikawa grabs one of the condoms he has in his drawer- again from that time he tried to seduce him- and rips it open. He should really thank Mika for it. Oikawa rolls it over Ushijima’s cock and lubes it up until he thinks it’s enough and won’t hurt. Too much.

“Someone’s eager,” Ushijima states and Oikawa blushes.

“Yes, you big idiot. I am. Now fuck me.” Oikawa lies down again and spreads his legs more. Ushijima chuckles, before he leans down, throwing one of Oikawa’s legs over his shoulders and then enters him slowly. 

Oikawa presses his eyes shut and holds onto Ushijima. He’s glad he’s not a virgin, because this would hurt. He can feel the burn of Ushijima’s cock stretching him open, and it hurts a bit, but it also feels so good. When he’s all in, Ushijima stops and groans.

“You feel so good,” he whispers. “God, Oikawa-” He kisses his forehead and Oikawa opens his eyes again. “I don’t know if I can last long.”

“It’s okay,” Oikawa says. “It’s your first time. You can, ah, move.”

Ushijima nods and starts moving. He picks up a slow pace at first, but gets quicker by each thrust, until he finds a rhythm. Oikawa closes his eyes and moans.

“Ushiwaka, faster,” he begs and Ushijima complies to his needs, until he finds the right angle that makes Oikawa shout his name, grip into the sheets and meet Ushijima’s every thrust. “Yes! Right there, fuck!” 

They move together and the air around them is heavy, filled with moans and the scent of sex. He’s sweating and so is Ushijima and when the latter touches Oikawa’s front too, he moans.

“Ushiwaka, I’m close,” Oikawa breathes.

Ushijima kisses him, whispering and moaning Oikawa’s name, until he comes. Oikawa wishes, he wouldn’t wear a condom, because he’d like to feel him inside him. It doesn’t take him too long, until he comes too and when they’re both finished, Ushijima rolls off him and they stare at the ceiling. None of them say anything, all they do is gasp for air.

“Wow,” Oikawa says, after the silence is broken. He turns his head and looks to Ushijima. “I can’t believe we got each other dirty again after just showering.”

“Are you okay?” Ushijima asks and Oikawa laughs.

“Yes. I’m more than okay, Ushiwaka.” He kisses him softly on the lips. “But if you want to help me out, get a wet towel and clean me up.” It is supposed to be a joke, but Ushijima gets up and goes into the restroom. When he comes back, he has a wet towel in his hand and has also thrown off his condom.

He sits down next to Oikawa and cleanses his body. Oikawa can’t believe he has ever doubted Ushijima having feelings for him, because the way he looks at him makes Oikawa embarrassed alone.

When they’re both clean, Oikawa pulls him down to cuddle up to under the duvet. “Ushiwaka?”

“Yes?”

“I love you too.” He presses a kiss against the corner of Ushijima’s mouth, who then pulls him into a hug and smiles.

“Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me for that? You’re impossible.” Oikawa shakes his head.

“You used to hate me.”

“Well, aren’t you lucky I don’t anymore?” Oikawa teases and Ushijima kisses him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok no offense but u better appreciate this chapter  
> because i wrote it on the train  
> turned around and saw some dude staring at me and when he noticed i saw him, he quickly sat down somewhere else  
> look at how much embarrassment i had to go through for you
> 
> first (and not last) sex scene ;)
> 
> (song: round and round - selena gomez & the scene)


	24. The whole world stops and stares for awhile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t want to admit it, but you’re a pretty decent boyfriend.”
> 
> “Boyfriend?” Ushijima asks and Oikawa nods.
> 
> “Yeah. Do you think I sleep with anyone, Ushiwaka?”

When they’re both dressed again, they sit next to each other on the bed and drink the coffee, which is cold by now. Oikawa puts his head on Ushijima’s shoulder.

“So... I was the crush, huh?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t believe you.” Oikawa shakes his head. “You told me about him, as if he was another guy! I was jealous of myself!”

Ushijima laughs. “I couldn’t have told you it was you.”

“You should’ve! Do you know how angry I was, when you said nobody else could get you so riled up but him? I was so jealous! Nobody is allowed to do that but me!” Oikawa complains and Ushijima cups his face to press a kiss on his lips. He tastes like coffee.

“Nobody is.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Good.” Oikawa nods and grins. “But... since first year of High School? Really? How? We were nothing but rude to each other.”

“I already told you, it was never my intention to be rude to you,” Ushijima tells him. “I just wanted what’s best for you. And to talk to you. I am sorry, that it came across as if I was talking down on you.”

“You were. You were patronizing me and your attempts at flirting are horrible, Ushiwaka.” Oikawa sighs. “But in the end it worked out, huh? Though I can’t believe you liked me. I was so mean to you, especially in the first weeks at college.”

“I am patient.”

“I can tell.” Oikawa sighs and buries his face in Ushijima’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“For dating Kaito. I never liked him. Remember when I asked you about your crush? That wasn’t to confirm I like Kaito. That was to confirm I like you. But then you rambled on about your crush from Miyagi and I thought it was hopeless, so I started dating him! I know it was stupid.” Oikawa groans and shakes his head.

“It’s okay. I’m glad we’re together now.”

Oikawa looks up and smiles. “Yeah, me too.” He throws his legs on Ushijima’s lap and they lean in for another kiss. He tilts his head to deepen the kiss and when he pulls back, he stares at Ushijima.

“What is it?”

“What is the long story?”

Ushijima seems to be confused about that question at first, but then he blushes. “It was... Imada. He knew I liked you.”

“Okay?”

“After we reconciled after our fight, I went to Kaito’s place to talk to him. Imada was there too.”

Oikawa remembers Kaito telling him about it and nods. “When I left, Imada followed me. He knew that I liked you and told me he likes Kaito too. We agreed to meet and he suggested to make you jealous. I didn’t agree, because I don’t like lying to you,” Ushijima explains. “But Imada lied to Kaito.”

“Yeah, I know. He thought you’re friends with benefits.”

“Imada tried to, actually... That was when we kissed. I felt like I was betraying you, so we didn’t go further. However, we met up several times afterwards. And...” He hesitates.

“Yes?”

“He taught me. Things.”

“He taught you,” Oikawa repeats and blinks. Then he understood. “Wait, what?!”

“Imada is very experienced and I wouldn’t turn down the help of a friend,” Ushijima explains, flustered.

“What did he teach you? Oh god, he taught you how to give a blowjob, didn’t he?” Oikawa laughs. He can’t stop laughing and when he sees Ushijima’s hurt look, he kisses him quickly. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad he did. That was great. And it’s cute you did that. For me.”

He almost asks how exactly he taught him, but Oikawa just drops this topic. 

“We should start eating the cake,” Oikawa suggests. They get up to eat the cake and settle down to the ground so none of the crumbs get on the bed. Ushijima stops and turns to Oikawa.

“We should give each other the presents.”

“Oh! Yes, Ushiwaka! I can’t believe I actually forgot the presents! _I_!” Oikawa shouts and grabs his present for Ushijima. 

Ushijima’s gift for him is wrapped prettily this time and Oikawa smirks. “Oh, you improved!”

“Misaki helped me,” Ushijima confesses and Oikawa laughs.

“The lady at the store wrapped mine for you,” he says. “So we’re even.” Oikawa presses a kiss on Ushijima’s cheek and then opens his gift. It’s a box and when Oikawa sees the words on it, he screams.

“Oikawa?”

“Oh my god, Ushiwaka. You did _not_.” Oikawa gasps, trying to open the box as soon as possible. “I’ve always wanted a star projector! This is unfair, why are you good at giving me presents? Stupid, Ushiwaka.” 

Oikawa took out the small device and squeals. “I don’t want to admit it, but you’re a pretty decent boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Ushijima asks and Oikawa nods.

“Yeah. Do you think I sleep with anyone, Ushiwaka?”

“I never-”

“Here.” Oikawa puts the projector in Ushijima’s lap. “Turn it on, I wil turn off the light!” He gets up and turns off the light at the same moment, when Ushijima turns on the projector. Thousands of stars dance around the room and Oikawa holds his breath.

“It’s beautiful,” he whispers. Today might be one of the best days of his life. First the beautiful lights in the city from all the fairy lights and now this. And of course, because there was Ushijima.

Oikawa sits down next to his _boyfriend_ again and wraps his arm around his, putting his head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

Oikawa can’t stop staring at the stars, until he remembers, Ushijima hasn’t opened his gift. “Okay, but please don’t hate me for my gift.”

“Why?”

“I searched really long! That’s why I was gone the last few days all the time! So you can’t judge!” Oikawa shouts. He feels like a horrible gift maker.

“I am sure I will like it,” Ushijima assures him.

“Now you’re just lying.”

“I’d like anything you give me. Especially, when you searched so long for a perfect present,” Ushijima says and Oikawa groans.

“You’re being way too sappy again.” But he can’t help, but smile.

Ushijima unwraps the gift and blinks. “Oikawa…”

“You said you’d like it!”

Ushijima lifts the present, staring at him. Then, he turns to Oikawa. Oh no, he doesn’t like it. After Ushijima has given him such a great present! 

Ushijima laughs. He just laughs, throws his head back and then wraps his arm around Oikawa’s shoulder, pulls him closer and kisses his forehead. “I like it.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I will wear it right now.”

He gets up and before he can go to the restroom, Oikawa tugs at his pants.

“You can undress in front of me, you know?”

“Right.” Ushijima undresses and Oikawa can now finally stare at him, without feeling weird about it. When Ushijima finally gets into the onesie Oikawa has given him, Oikawa bursts out in laughter too.

“You’re the most adorable cow, I’ve ever seen, Ushiwaka!” He jumps up and stares at him, still laughing. He pulls up the hood where the face of a cow is and Oikawa just laughs more.

“I’m glad it amuses you.”

“Look at yourself!” Oikawa turns on the light and pushes Ushijima in front of the mirror. He wraps his arms around Ushijima’s waist. “You have such cute ears! Ushi-chan!”

“Ushi-chan?”

Oikawa chuckles and presses a kiss on Ushijima’s cheek. “My giant cow.”

Ushijima turns off the light again and pulls Oikawa into a hug. 

“Hey, I still have to take pictures!”

“Later,” Ushijima replies. He nudges his nose against Oikawa’s and when Oikawa looks up, they lean in to kiss each other. Oikawa’s arms go up and before he realizes it, he pulls at Ushijima’s cow ears. 

He can’t hold his laughter in and just laughs right into the kiss. “I’m sorry, Ushiwaka. But to be honest, I’m not really.”

“I know.” Ushijima sighs and sits down again. Oikawa naturally just sits down between his legs, resting his back against Ushijima’s chest.

“I’m jealous. This feels so cozy and soft.” He closes his eyes. “I could just fall asleep.”

“Then do it.”

Oikawa shakes his head. “I don’t want this day to be over!”

“It’s already past midnight.”

“It’s not the next day, until I’ve slept,” Oikawa replies. “Plus, I just want to sleep with you. Which we can’t, because the beds are so small.”

He sighs and Ushijima kisses his shoulder. “I want to do that too.”

“And it’s winter,” Oikawa adds. “Now you can cuddle me. But not too much, I bet even in winter you get too hot.”

* * *

  


They end up falling asleep on the floor. They’ve put all the blankets they could get on the floor to make it as comfortable as possible and fall asleep under the night sky. Well, it issn’t really the night sky, but it comes pretty close.

When he wakes up, the light has gone out already, because the battery was low. His arm is around Ushijima’s chest and Ushijima’s chin is on top of his head. Oikawa is surprised he’s the one who wakes up first. He gently reaches for his phone and takes a selfie of them, smiling at the camera with a V-sign.

_look at the cow!!!_ , he uses as a caption and sends it to Iwaizumi.

Ushijima shifts under Oikawa and opens his eyes.

“Good morning, cow!”

“Don’t call me that.”

Oikawa laughs and ruffles Ushijima’s hair. “Good morning, Ushiwaka.”

“You should try calling me by my first name,” Ushijima suggests, blushing. Oikawa smirks.

“Okay, Wakatoshi.” He shakes his head. “Waka-chan. Toshi-chan. No, that sounds wrong, I can’t do it! Ushiwaka is just perfect!” He takes a deep breath. “I will try to call you by your first name once I got used to, you know, all of this.” He gestures wildly around with his hand.

“This?”

“You know. Us. The whole dating thing. I’ve never dated someone I had feelings for.” Plus, he has always called Kaito by his first name. Apparently, everyone does, since he had a twin and naturally they have always been called by their first names. He looks down and Ushijima smiles. Ushijima sits up and kisses the top of Oikawa’s head.

Oikawa likes Ushijima’s kisses, especially the one on his forehead or on top of his head. It makes him feel warm inside. 

His phone vibrates and it’s Iwaizumi, who sent him back a text.

_looks like you finally got over yourself and it worked out huh_

Oikawa wants to send something back like ‘you could just be happy for me!!!’, but then another message appears.

_good for you_

Oikawa smiles. He’s so glad to have a friend like him. He texts him back quickly and then turns his attention back to Ushijima. “Let’s go brush our teeth. I don’t want to kiss you with morning breath.”

* * *

They end up having to skip their classes.

Probably Oikawa’s fault, who kept kissing Ushijima and pushing him onto the bed, until Ushijima gives in. They ignore all the calls and texts they get from their friends as they stay in bed, limbs tangled together and exchange passionate kisses on their naked skin.

They do, however, make it in time for volleyball practice.

When they arrive at the changing room, Kuroo starts whistling.

“Hey hey hey!” Bokuto shouts, jumping right between them and throws his arms around their shoulders. “I assume everything went well then?”

Oikawa and Ushijima exchange glances and Oikawa laughs. “Of course it did. I’m irresistible. He’d never say no.”

Kuroo laughs. “Oh? Who was crying so often about Ushiwaka? Oh no, he doesn’t like me that way!” He clutches his chest and Bokuto joins him.

“Ah, no, he likes that other guy from Miyagi, he told me!”

“No way I can be that guy!” Kuroo adds, even more dramatic.

“I’ve been trying to seduce him for so long now, I can’t believe he isn’t already all over me!” Bokuto moans. He lets himself fall backwards as if he’s swooning and Kuroo catches him.

“Okay, shut up! You’re mean!” Oikawa’s face is burning and Ushijima smiles.

“Is this what you said?”

“No! Never!”

“Yeah, basically.” Kuroo shrugs. 

“You were just as frustrating with Kozume-chan!” Oikawa defends himself.

“It turned out well in the end for both of you, so it doesn’t matter,” Bokuto says, smiling.

“What doesn’t matter?” their captain suddenly asks.

“Er…” Oikawa looks down. They’d know sooner or later anyway, but he isn’t really sure if he can tell them. It’s one thing they know he’s gay and dating the older brother of the girls volleyball team’s vice captain, another for two teammates to date.

“Oh!” Saito claps his hands. “You’re together, right?”

“What?” Oikawa deadpans.

“I thought I wouldn’t see it anymore since I’m graduating soon! Good for you.” Saito cups his mouth to shout. “Guys, they’re finally together!”

“No shit!” somebody else shouts. “Fucking finally! It was really frustrating to look at.”

What the hell was going on? Oikawa stares at them. “You… _what_?”

“Pay up, Mori-senpai!” another one of their teammates yells. 

“Did you know about this?” Ushijima asks Bokuto and Kuroo who shake their head. They seem to be as confused as Oikawa and Ushijima.

“Come on, we’re not blind,” Saito explains. “I knew it after you constantly walked away at the fireworks display.”

“Yeah, everyone has their own moment when they realized,” their libero explains. “But I think the moment when really _everyone_ knew was when we won that game during the semi final at Nationals and you just hugged each other for like, ten seconds.”

Oikawa blushes. “It wasn’t that long!”

“It was pretty long,” Kuroo agrees.

“What is taking you so long?!” their coach asks. Everyone is quiet suddenly, turning around.

“Ushijima-san and Oikawa-san are finally together,” the libero explains. “You have to pay up, sensei.”

Their coach narrows his eyes, groans and takes out a few bills from his wallet and puts it into the libero’s hands. “I’m never going to make bets with any of you students ever again. And now get dressed and get your asses out on court!” He leaves again and Oikawa starts laughing.

“Even the coach was in?” He shakes his head. He can’t believe they all saw it coming before they did. But yes, Bokuto is right. In the end it all went well for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oKAY the tradition of oikawa giving ushijima riduclous clothes as a present continues  
> but pls ,,, just imagine ushijima in a cow onesie  
> its the most adorable thing ever  
> and this is just so fluffy is2g all chapters from now on are so fluffy
> 
> also i never rlly liked kaito btu i like imada he's the true mvp,,,   
> (song: bruno mars - just the way you are)


	25. And I wanna play it cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ushiwaka and I are together,” Oikawa announces.
> 
> Hanamaki drops the ball. “Fuck.”
> 
> “I knew it!” Matsukawa shouts.
> 
> “What?” Oikawa asks. Them too?
> 
> “Okay, I didn’t know it,” Matsukawa says. “We just suspected it.”
> 
> “I mean, despite the fact that he’s a dick,” Hanamaki explains, and picks up the ball, “he’s totally your type.”

Oikawa told Iwaizumi not to tell the others about his and Ushijima’s relationship. He wants to surprise them himself. Well, not in a positive way. While all his friends in Tokyo are totally fine with them being together and all saw it coming, his friends back in his hometown didn’t.

They haven’t been there when Oikawa and Ushijima slowly grew closer and spent literally every day with each other. They don’t know about the things those two had to go through, about their fights and struggles and how much more complicated they have made it for each other than it had to be.

He doesn’t know how to tell them they’re together. They all still think he’s crazy for being friends with him, how is he supposed to explain to them he’s dating Ushijima?

“What is it?” Ushijima asks him.

“What is what?”

“You seem to be nervous,” Ushijima explains. Oikawa bites down on his lower lip. He doesn’t know whether to love or hate it that Ushijima can read him almost as well as Iwaizumi can. On the other hand, he is getting better and better at reading Ushijima too.

“You know, my friends,” Oikawa explains. “They’re going to make fun of me!”

“Because you’re dating Ushiwaka?” Misaki asks and Oikawa nods. “Why? He’s a good guy, I wouldn’t make fun of you.”

“Thank you, Misaki-san,” Ushijima says.

“Because he’s Ushiwaka!” Oikawa gestures wildly. “Didn’t any of your team ever had some rivals? We hate Shiratorizawa! My former teammates are probably still confused why I’m friends with him, how am I supposed to tell them we’re fucking?”

Misaki and Ushijima blush at Oikawa’s outburst.

“Well,” Misaki starts, “no. We at Johzenji never had such thing. And in college, they don’t really have either.”

Oikawa sighs and leans back. “Or I will not tell them at all.”

“If that is what you want, I’m fine with it,” Ushijima agrees and Oikawa stares at him.

“You’re okay with me denying our relationship, Ushiwaka?” he asks, gasping and before Ushijima can answer, Oikawa pinches him. “Just kidding. I will tell them. At least Mattsun and Makki, they deserve to know.”

He can already hear them making fun of him.

“What about you?” Oikawa asks Ushijima. “Are you telling your friends?”

“They already know.”

Oikawa and Misaki exchange glances before Oikawa shouts: “What?!”

“I told them already,” Ushijima explains. “My team knows. They’re not surprised.”

“How can they not be surprised?” Oikawa asks. He never would’ve thought Ushijima to be someone who tells his friends straight away.

“I’ve always been interested in you,” Ushijima says, quieter and looking down. “You know that. They know it too, they just never understood why. Now they do.”

Oh. Oikawa looks out of the window of the train they’re in right now and sighs. “That’s good. And… Ushiwaka?”

“Yes?”

“We might be dating, but that doesn’t mean I want to get along with your friends. I still hate Shiratorizawa. And I doubt my old team will ever get along with you either, you weren’t exactly nice to them,” Oikawa says.

“I understand.”

“But at least get along with Iwa-chan. I couldn’t ever be a with a guy my best friend doesn’t approve of.”

When they have to part, they look over to Misaki.

“Go on, kiss. I’m going to, er, look away.” She puts her hands before her eyes and Oikawa laughs at her flushed face.

“Get used to it, Misa-chan,” he says before turning to Ushijima. He can’t exactly kiss him outside of the train with all those people around and he doesn’t know when exactly they’ll see each other again, because they’re both probably horribly busy with New Year’s stuff.

Oikawa gives Ushijima a peck on his lip and leans back, wanting to tell Misaki, she can look again, but Ushijima cups his face and pulls him closer for another kiss. Oikawa closes his eyes immediately and kisses him back. He wishes, he could stay like this for longer, but sadly, the kiss is interrupted.

“Are you guys finished?” Misaki asks.

“Misa-chan,” Oikawa says, “you just totally ruined the moment!”

“Sorry!”

“It’s okay,” Ushijima assures her.

“Is it?” Oikawa asks, raising an eyebrow.

Ushijima leans forward and kisses Oikawa’s forehead, right when the train stops. “We’ll see each other soon again.”

* * *

  


New Year has always been very messy and Oikawa barely had any time to call his friends in Tokyo.

Mostly, he spends it with his family. His sister’s family is here a lot and Oikawa has to babysit his nephew who asks him tons of questions about Tokyo or ignores him. There is no in between with this child.

Apart from that, Oikawa has to help clean the entire house despite not living here anymore. He sneaks out in the night, wanting to call Ushijima, but then he got a phone call by Iwaizumi. Apparently the others are also as busy as he was during New Year’s preparation, that they want to sneak out and spend some time together before they all don’t see each other for a long time again.

So instead of calling Ushijima, Oikawa spends the night with Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa. It’s dark and cold, but they go to a volleyball field near a playground where they used to be so many times.

They play against each other, Iwaizumi and Oikawa against Hanamaki and Matsukawa. It’s not a serious game, because they just pass the ball to each other and talk about what has happened the last few weeks since they last saw each other.

Matsukawa casually mentions that he heard that Yahaba and Kyoutani are together, so Oikawa thinks he can mention his relationship too.

“Ushiwaka and I are together,” Oikawa announces.

Hanamaki drops the ball. “Fuck.”

“I knew it!” Matsukawa shouts.

“What?” Oikawa asks. Them too?

“Okay, I didn’t _know_ it,” Matsukawa says. “We just suspected it.”

“I mean, despite the fact that he’s a dick,” Hanamaki explains, and picks up the ball, “he’s totally your type.”

Oikawa blushes. “What? He totally isn’t! He isn’t my type. He’s so dense. He… he has no idea-” He’s running out of words. “He’s horrible in courting! You know his awful speeches he used to give to me. Apparently he liked me all along, which, well can you blame him?”

Hanamaki throws the ball against Oikawa’s head. It doesn’t hurt much, but Oikawa is still offended.

“Ouch, what was that for?!”

“For being such an airhead,” Iwaizumi explains. “Don’t talk shit about your Ushiwaka, when you’re dating him.”

“I’m not dating him!”

“You just literally told us you are,” Hanamaki points out.

“Okay, I _am_ dating him. But it’s… It’s no big deal. He isn’t my type.”

Matsukawa scoffs and raises his index finger. “He’s tall. You always wanted a tall guy. And he has dark hair and is ripped as fuck. That’s your type, right? Plus, you also always wanted a guy who’s into volleyball. And he’s like, super into volleyball.”

“That could be anyone, Mattsun! That could be _you_.”

“You want to date Mattsun?” Hanamaki asks Oikawa.

“Aw, are you jealous?” Matsukawa asks his boyfriend, grinning.

“No- But I don’t want to date Ushiwaka either!” Oikawa shouts before Hanamaki can reply.

“What the hell are you even saying, Trashykawa?” Iwaizumi asks and Oikawa sighs.

“Fine. He is totally my type. Are you happy? He’s stupid and all, but he’s… He’s also so good. I mean, he’s really hot and so tall, and you’re right, his body… Plus, you know, he can carry me around and always kisses-”

“Oh my god,” Hanamaki shouts. “It’s still Ushiwaka we’re talking about!”

“You know, Oikawa,” Matsukawa says, “I’m fine with you dating him. Not really surprised, the person ending up dating you _has_ to be an airhead.”

“Hey!”

“But we still don’t like him,” Matsukawa concludes.

Oikawa nods slowly. He hasn’t expected anything else. It would honestly have been weird if they do.

“Can’t you say something like ‘We’re happy for you’?” Oikawa asks.

Hanamaki laughs. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. Let’s continue playing.” But both of them give him a genuine smile and when Oikawa turns to Iwaizumi, he pats Oikawa on his back and that’s all he needs for now.

* * *

  


He gets messages from his friends in Tokyo, wishing them a Happy New Year. The group chat for their volleyball team is blowing up. Kuroo sends a picture of him and Kenma at a shrine and Oikawa is jealous. He wants to be with Ushijima too right now.

Sure, they don’t need to see each other all the time, but Mika was right. When you like someone, you want to be around them all the time, at least in the beginning. And it’s only been less than a week since he and Ushijima finally got together.

He sighs and pulls the scarf closer. It’s the one from Ushijima. He has snatched it one day and declared to Ushijima that it was his now. Ushijima didn’t have a problem with it so Oikawa now constantly wore it. It smells nice and like Ushijima, though the scent is slowly fading.

He can’t believe he has become like this now.

Right now they’re at the nearest shrine too, and it’s so full, everywhere are people. Oikawa meets Iwaizumi’s family and their parents talk, so they tell their parents that they’re walking around alone.

“I’ve missed this,” Oikawa says. “You know, our families hanging out together.”

“Yeah, me too,” Iwaizumi agrees.

“I’m just glad I don’t have to look after Takeru,” Oikawa murmurs. “I do have to give him money though. You know how awful it is to be an uncle? He doesn’t even appreciate me!”

Before Iwaizumi can reply, Oikawa grabs his friends’ arm. “Let’s buy some charms!”

“What for?”

“Passing exams,” Oikawa says, shrugging.

“You never bought them for that before,” Iwaizumi points out. “It’s for Ushiwaka, isn’t it?”

“What? No! It Isn’t!”

“You can just tell the truth.”

Oikawa sighs. “Okay, maybe. Is it stupid? I don’t want to be… I feel so weird, Iwa-chan. So lovey-dovey. It’s not me. You know, I shouldn’t be suddenly so changed, right? Ushiwaka and I are just friends who are finally together, that’s it.

Nothing should be changed except that we now kiss and stuff, right? I shouldn’t be like this. Like Mattsun and Makki, they weren’t much different after they got together. Or-“

Iwaizumi blinks. “Are you stupid?”

“What? Why are you calling me stupid now?”

Iwaizumi sighs. “It doesn’t matter. Just buy him one. And it’s different for every couple, I guess. If you want to do all this romantic couple stuff for him, just do it. Don’t question yourself all the time, Shittykawa.”

Oikawa stares at him. “When have you become so wise, Iwa-chan?”

“Since you used me as your Love Guru all the time!” Iwaizumi snaps. “And now pick one already.”

“Thank you! I’m going to buy you one too. For the best friend!” Oikawa shouts and Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “What type of Omamori should I get him? I don’t want to be too forward and get the  _enmusubi_ one _._ :”

“You can never go wrong with _kaiun_ ,” Iwaizumi tells him. “Everybody needs happiness.”

“But that is so… basic.”

“Then get the one for lovers! You are a couple, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, but this is so _embarrassing_ ,” Oikawa complains.

Iwaizumi sighs. “What have I just told you?”

“Fine!” Oikawa pouts. “I’ll get you the _anzan_ one.”

“I’m not pregnant!”

Oikawa laughs. He buys one for Ushijima and one for Iwaizumi which is for luck. Iwaizumi thanks him for it and they head back to their families. There are food stands and they purchase something to eat, before their families part and they pray.

When they’re outside again, Oikawa looks down at his phone. It’s almost midnight, meaning the bell will ring 108 times. He replies to some more messages, despite the fact that his sister tells him to put away his phone. 

Oikawa just pokes out his tongue at her and she sighs. 

This is when Oikawa’s phone starts ringing. It’s Ushijima. He immediately picks up.

“Hey, Ushiwaka. Not asleep yet?” he jokes.

“I just met Iwaizumi. He told me you’re here too.”

“Wait… you’re here?” Oikawa asks, widening his eyes.

“Yes.”

“Then get your ass here, Ushiwaka!”

“Where are you?”

“Wait. No, let’s meet somewhere we can be alone.” He tells him the place and hangs up. He turns to his parents and tells them he’s meeting up with someone.

“You’re not going to be here during midnight, then?” his mother asks and Oikawa shakes his head.

His mother wants to protest, but his father tells her that he’s already old enough. “Fine. We’ll call Hajime-san if you get home too late.” 

It’s funny how they immediately assume he’s with Iwaizumi. Oikawa runs off to the place he wanted to meet Ushijima and there he is. Wearing a dark and long mantle, his cheeks flushed from the cold.

They’ve only been apart for a few days, but Oikawa has missed him. God, he really is like one of those lovestruck people and he hates it. But when Ushijima smiles and hugs him, Oikawa doesn’t mind.

“Aw, seems like somebody has missed me,” Oikawa teases.

“I have,” Ushijima whispers against his ear. Oikawa’s heart races faster.

“Me too,” he confesses, looking down.

“I got you something,” Ushijima says and takes Oikawa’s hands. He wishes, they wouldn’t wear gloves right now so he can feel Ushijima’s skin. It’s also a charm for love. Oikawa laughs. “Is something wrong?”

“No. I got you the same one,” Oikawa explains and puts the one he bought for Ushijima in his palm. 

“Thank you. I will treasure it.”

“You better.” Oikawa smiles. “And now kiss me before it’s midnight.”

“Why?”

Oikawa rolls his eyes. “I’m not surprised you don’t know about that custom.” He gets on his tip toes and kisses Ushijima.

Ushijima kisses him back, putting his hands on Oikawa’s hips and pulling him closer. They can hear the bells starting to ring and Oikawa smiles. A year ago, he never would’ve thought he’d kiss Ushijima out of all people into the next year and here he was and he wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

They part for a while, only to look in each other’s eyes, smile and for their lips to meet again in another sweet kiss. 

“I love you,” Ushijima tells him and Oikawa holds his breath.

“Don’t just say such embarrassing things out of the blue, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa murmurs.

“Does it bother you? Should I stop?” Ushijima asks in such a serious tone. Oikawa pushes him lightly at his shoulder.

“No,” he answers. “Don’t. I love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i had to squish in mattsuhana as a couple idek why its not like i reaally ship them  
> (song: jbiebs - baby)


	26. Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa blushes. “You’re so stupid! I hate you!” He pushes Ushijima off and then settles down over his boyfriend. Oikawa looks down at Ushijima and shakes his head.
> 
> _How can he even put up with me?_
> 
> “It’s worth it.”
> 
> “Did I say that out loud?”
> 
> “Yes.”

One of Oikawa’s New Year resolutions is to find a job.

He could really use the money and his parents agreed that he should look for a part time job, that doesn’t get in the way of classes and volleyball. Of course he has a volleyball scholarship, but there’s never something wrong with wanting money.

Luckily, he and Ushijima see each other all the time, so it’s not like they’re being robbed of too much time when he’s searching for a job. Maybe as a waiter? Oikawa sighs, his brows furrowed. Or he could ask at a shop if he could help out. It’s hard finding a job that is flexible with the times because Oikawa’s first priority is volleyball.

He doesn’t really pay attention to where he’s walking, until somebody calls him.

“Oikawa! Look out!”

Oikawa flinches and stops right before he can walk into a sign. He turns around to see Kaito. They haven’t seen each other ever since they broke up, so it’s kind of awkward.

“Ah, Kaito-san! Thank you for calling out to me, I almost would’ve run into the sign.” Oikawa laughs and rubs the back of his head.

“Yeah, no problem,” Kaito replies. “What got you so distracted?”

“Kind of caught in thoughts. I’m looking for a job and…” Oikawa shrugs and Kaito nods.

“Ah, I get it,” he says. “Well, pay more attention to your surroundings. Can’t get a job if you get hurt. Hell, can’t play volleyball if you get hurt.”

Oikawa nods. He doesn’t know what to say, but luckily, he doesn’t have to. “Hey, can we talk?” Kaito asks.

“Eh? I’m kinda busy…”

“Hey, it’s just a talk.” Kaito shrugs.

Oikawa hesitates and then nods. They walk to a bench and sit down. Oikawa has no idea, what his ex boyfriend wants to talk about, so he doesn’t say anything.

“I heard you and Ushiwaka are finally together,” Kaito says. “Heard it from my sister.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Oikawa nods slowly. Usually, he always has something to say, but right now, he has no idea what to say.

“Good for you. Now you can’t mess up anyone else’s relationship.”

“I’m sorry-”

Kaito laughs. “I’m kidding. Well, not really. Sorry. I don’t know why I wanted to talk to you.” He groans and then puts his face in his hands. “I assume Ushiwaka told you he and Imada never really were… a thing?”

Oikawa nods. “Yes.”

“So you know that Imada…”

_Oh. This is what it’s about._ “Yes,” Oikawa says. “And you don’t…”

“No! I mean, he’s my best friend. We tried it once, it didn’t work out. I thought he thought so too and moved on, but apparently not. I… I don’t know, man.” Kaito leans back against the bench again. “I know this isn’t your problem anymore.

“Imada doesn’t even want to talk to me anymore. I guess it’s for the best, but he’s still my best friend, you know?“

Oikawa nods. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Anyway, can you tell Ushiwaka to tell Imada to talk to me? I don’t know, maybe he can talk some sense into him…”

“Why the hell would Ushiwaka do that?”

“Well, they’re still friends and are staying in contact…”

“They are _what_?!” Oikawa jumps up and Kaito blinks.

“You didn’t know?”

“Of course I did!” Oikawa takes a deep breath. “I’ll talk to him. And you, make up with your best friend.”

* * *

  


He shouldn’t be angry.

He trusts Ushijima. That guy would never even think about cheating on him. Plus, Imada is pretty much heads over heels for Oikawa’s ex. This is all too confusing.

What pisses Oikawa off, is that Ushijima didn’t tell him that he’s still hanging out with Imada sometimes. He thought that was over right after he and Kaito broke up, or at least when he and Ushijima started dating.

Oikawa rips open the door to their room and Ushijima turns around. He’s currently at his desk, probably studying for their upcoming exams or doing anything volleyball related. He’s simple, there isn’t much else he could be doing anyway.

“Ushiwaka!” Oikawa shouts.

“Yes?”

Oikawa closes the door to their room, trying to find words how to start this. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re still hanging out with Imada?”

“I did tell you,” Ushijima says.

“No, you didn’t. I would _know_ , if you did.”

Ushijima blinks. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“What? What kind of bad excuse is this?”

“I thought you knew. When I told you I started going on my daily morning runs with a friend,” Ushijima explains.

Oh. Oikawa swallows. “Well, who would’ve known it was Imada? You could’ve told me!”

“You didn’t ask.”

God, he is so… frustrating. Oikawa takes a deep breath and crosses his arms in front of his chest. “I don’t need to ask. You should’ve told me! Why did you think I assume your ‘friend’ is Imada? I just thought it’s someone from our team!”

“I would’ve referred to them as a teammate,” Ushijima explains. “And apart from them and you and the others, I don’t have other friends here, except for Imada.”

He does have a point, but this still makes Oikawa angry. “That’s still a stupid excuse.”

Ushijima gets up from his chair and takes his hand. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.”

Oikawa nods slowly. “Okay.” 

“Why were you talking with Kaito?”

“Are you jealous, Ushiwaka?” Oikawa teases, grinning.

“Were you?”

“No,” Oikawa confesses. “I was just angry, you didn’t tell me.”

“I am jealous,” Ushijima says and Oikawa grins.

“Don’t need to worry.” He guides Ushijima to his bed and sits down, Ushijima next to him. “He just asked me if I could talk to you. Because Imada is avoiding him and, you know, it’s a waste if they stop being best friends just because of something like this.”

Ushijima nods. “Yes, I can see. I will try talking to him, but he’s heartbroken. It hurts not to have your feelings reciprocated.”

“Are you talking from experience?” Oikawa leans closer and Ushijima puts his forehead against Oikawa’s.

“Yes.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I cried a lot because of that, you know.”

“You cried because of me?” Ushijima asks, his eyes widening.

“Come on, Ushiwaka, you know that already. Remember our fight? That was horrible. Of course I was upset. And then you ignored me for so long!”

“I’m sorry.” Ushijima cups his face and kisses him slowly.

“What would you have done if I wouldn’t have reciprocated your feelings? Like, if you were Imada and I were Kaito.”

Ushijima thinks about it. “I probably would’ve tried to stay away from you too, to get over them. But knowing me, it wouldn’t have helped anyway.”

“You always say those cheesy things,” Oikawa complains. “It’s not fair.”

“How is it not fair?”

“Because you’re so serious!”

“Of course I am.”

“I can’t do the same, it’s embarrassing,” Oikawa explains and puts his head on Ushijima’s shoulder. “I wish I could.”

“Try.”

“God, if I’d say something cheesy like you, I’d be scared that the person I say that to bursts out in laughter,” Oikawa says.

“I won’t laugh. I promise.”

“Really?”

Ushijima nods and Oikawa looks up. He thinks about what he can say. “I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.”

Ushijima blinks and then Oikawa can see, how he tries to hold back his laughter. “You said you won’t laugh!” he shouts, as Ushijima puts his hand in front of his mouth.

“I’m not laughing.”

“Liar!” Oikawa hits him with the pillow. “You’re laughing!”

Ushijima chuckles and holds the pillow and kisses Oikawa’s cheek. “You’re the most beautiful snowflake then.”

“How the hell can you say something like that?!” Oikawa complains, as Ushijima presses him down on the bed.

“I thought if I say something bad too you’re not embarrassed anymore.”

Oikawa blushes. “You’re so stupid! I hate you!” He pushes Ushijima off and then settles down over his boyfriend. Oikawa looks down at Ushijima and shakes his head.

_How can he even put up with me?_

“It’s worth it.”

“Did I say that out loud?”

“Yes.” Ushijima brings up his hand and puts it against Oikawa’s cheek. His thumb strokes him slowly and Oikawa smiles.

“Idiot.” He leans down and kisses Ushijima, slowly and sweet at first, without tongue, until Ushijima’s hands slide down to his waist and under his shirt.

Oikawa breaks the kiss and smirks before he tilts his head to the right and kisses his boyfriend again. This time, he lets his tongue slide over Ushijima’s lips, who then opens his mouth and kisses him just as eagerly back.

Oikawa’s hands slide over Ushijima’s cheekbones, his jawline, his neck as his kisses get needier. He only realizes he has been grinding against Ushijima, when the other’s cupping Oikawa’s ass with his hands. Oikawa gasps, grabbing into Ushijima’s hair, pulling him up. The kisses get messier, more passionate and Oikawa lets out a moan.

“Ushiwaka,” he whispers against his boyfriend’s ear. Ushijima sits up, his hands under Oikawa’s shirt. Oikawa lifts his arms for him to take it off and as soon as the shirt is gone, their lips meet again. He trails his hand over Ushijima’s chest, slowly letting it wander down, until he meets the waistband of Ushijima’s jeans.

Oikawa smirks. “Lean back,” he tells him and Ushijima wordlessly nods and leans back, as Oikawa opens his jeans. He looks up to see Ushijima’s eyes meeting his and Oikawa kisses him with way too much tongue. He tugs down Ushijima’s jeans and then puts his hand in Ushijima’s underwear, slowly stroking his cock.

“Oikawa,” Ushijima breathes, holding onto Oikawa’s arms, as Oikawa licks his jaw line and kisses his neck.

“Relax, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa tells him. “I’m bad at being cheesy, but I like to think I’m pretty decent at this.” He lowers himself and pulls down Ushijima’s underwear. He licks his lips as his eyes meet Ushijima’s now hard cock, fingers still curled around.

Oikawa closes his eyes as he kisses the tip, swirling his tongue around it. One of his hands is still around the base, the other cups Ushijima’s balls, before he licks them and sucks on them too. He kisses the shaft, making the kisses wet and messy, coating it with his saliva.

He can feel Ushijima shudder and hears how his boyfriend’s breathing getting heavier.

Encouraged by that reaction, Oikawa smirks and looks up. Their eyes meet and Oikawa doesn’t break eye contact as he lowers his lips on Ushijima’s hard length. He’s big, and it’s probably going to be exhausting for his jaw, but right now, Oikawa just wants to give him all the pleasure he can.

He still watches Ushijima, when he starts moving his head and Ushijima groans and throws back his head. His hands are gripping into the sheets.

“Grab my hair,” Oikawa orders him and Ushijima does. Soon, he’s back at bopping his head. He tries to get as much of him in as he could, his cock hitting the back of Oikawa’s throat, who tries to hold back his urge to gag. He hums, closes his eyes and strokes him with his fingers, as not all of Ushijima fits into him.

“Oikawa,” Ushijima moans, tugging his hair. Oikawa holds his hand against Ushijima’s hips, holding them down. Hearing Ushijima’s moan makes him hot too, and one of Oikawa’s hands wanders down as he strokes himself.

Ushijima doesn’t last long, probably because it’s his first blowjob. He warns him before he comes and pulls him away, but Oikawa doesn’t pull back completely, just enough that he doesn’t choke on the cum. He pulls back and swallows, looking at Ushijima, who stares at him with wide eyes, his cheeks flushed and his breathing heavy.

“You didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to,” Oikawa says, smiling. Ushijima looks down at Oikawa’s erection, then pulls him into his lap, sitting up. “You-”

Ushijima shuts him up by kissing him. Oikawa throws his arms around him and grinds against Ushijima’s stomach, trying to find some sort of _release_. Ushijima breaks their kiss and Oikawa leans their forehead against each other, gripping into Ushijima’s shoulder, as Ushijima starts jerking him off. 

He closes his eyes, moans against Ushijima’s ear and right before he comes, kisses him again. The kiss is sloppy, open mouthed and can’t suppress his moan when his orgasm hits him. 

They stay like that for a while, foreheads pressed against each other, their breathing heavy. Oikawa looks down and shakes his head. “I got your shirt dirty.”

Ushijima sighs. “We just did laundry yesterday.”

“We could get your sheets dirty and then do laundry today again,” Oikawa suggest, smirking.

Ushijima raises his eyebrows and Oikawa sighs. “Okay, I have to rest for a while.” He gets down from Ushijima and lays down on the bed. He puts on his pants properly again and looks up to Ushijima, who does the same, but takes off his shirt. Oikawa stares at the ceiling.

“I should go shower.”

“Do you want to go now?” Ushijima asks and Oikawa shakes his head.

“I’m too tired.” He rolls to his side to look at Ushijima who searches for a new shirt. “You know what’s a pity? We can never have shower sex.”

“I don’t see how that is practical,” Ushijima responds. Oikawa is almost offended by that answer. “It’s very slippery and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“How about the bathtub?”

“We’re both big, I doubt it would be comfortable.”

“You know what? I take everything back. You’re not romantic _at all_.”

“How does that have to do anything with romance?” Ushijima asks and Oikawa sighs. He sits up and pulls Ushijima down, kissing him on his cheek.

“I still like you despite being so dense,” he says. “It would be nice, though.” He lets Ushijima go and lays down on his bed again. “Why are we both so big and those beds so small? 

“ I can’t even cuddle with you after sex without it becoming too cramped. And you’re always so hot, Ushiwaka, it’s not normal anymore. It would be nice to have a big bed. Or at least enough room on the floor for a futon! Why are you so big?“

“I’m sorry. I want those things too.” Ushijima kneels in front of him and Oikawa smiles.

“Is it okay if I just fall asleep in your bed?”

“Of course.” Ushijima kisses his forehead. Oikawa really wishes, he could just pull Ushijima next to him and cuddle up to him, but this bed is just way too small. Well, nothing is perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen... i told u the story form now on is just fluff with occasional smut
> 
> for the next few chapters until chapter 38  
> bc i think thats when its gonna end 
> 
> (song: paramore - the only exception) (i'm literally running out of ridiculous pop songs)


	27. Now every February, You'll be my valentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s okay if you don’t have anything for me. It’s better this way actually!”
> 
> “Why?”
> 
> Oikawa looks down. “I just… I don’t know, I feel like I don’t do much. And you’re always so sweet and… you were the one who asked me to move in together and I never do anything,” he explains. “I just wanted to do something nice for you."

When Ushijima is gone for tryouts for the Junior men’s national volleyball team, there are also some scouts going to watch them during practice. Oikawa really hopes one of those scouts gets interested in him and he sends Ushijima a message over LINE.

_Give it your all. I know you’re more than capable._

_u couldve just said good luck but thank u (_ ● ♡∀♡ _))_ ヾ☆ _*_ 。 _give it ur all too ushiwaka!!_

Sadly, none of the actual volleyball scouts are interested in him. They have more interest in the older members of the team, but one of them talks to Bokuto for a long while, saying he has a promising future or something like that.

Oikawa is disappointed and drinks from his water bottle, talking to Mika, until a woman approaches him. She has been among the scouts too, and smiles.

“Oikawa Tooru, right?” she asks and he nods slowly. She gives him a business card and introduces herself. “Your form is beautiful. And you’re so young and handsome and have a great body!”

For a moment Oikawa thinks this middle aged woman is hitting on him. “I’m a model scout for sport models and we actually want people who are fit and give it their all when it comes to sports. I think you’d be a great addition to our agency!

Give it some thoughts, will you? Call me then.“ She smiles and they talk a little bit more, until she leaves.

“Wow,” Mika whispers. “That’s great, Oikawa!” She pats him on the back. “Oh, when you become a supermodel, can I be your manager? Mika, the top manager of upcoming supermodel-”

Oikawa laughs. “I’m not going to be a supermodel, Mika-chan. But I’m flattered, that woman has good taste.”

“She never should’ve asked you,” Mika says. “It only fuels your ego.”

“Hohoho, what was that about?” Kuroo asks, as he and Bokuto approach them.

“A model scout,” Oikawa explains, handing him the business card of the woman.

Bokuto whistles. “And? Are you going to take up on that offer? You were looking for a job anyway, right?”

“Being a model sounds so exhausting,” Oikawa says. “And time consuming. Right now all I want to do is play volleyball.”

“I think it’s fitting for you,” Mika says, smiling. “Don’t forget us once you’re famous.”

“What are you talking about, Mika-chan?” Bokuto asks. “We’re going to be famous too.”

She laughs and nods. “I look forward to it. But I think the one I’d bet on is Ushiwaka.”   


* * *

 

Oikawa doesn’t call the agency. Instead, he gets a job as a waiter in a very cute café, where mostly teenage girls come to visit. The staff consists of young, handsome men and women, so Oikawa fits perfectly in. Plus, they’re really flexible when it comes to times and the pay is great. Oikawa is surprised why it was so easy to get the job.

“Ushiwaka, you won’t guess what I finally have!” Oikawa shouts, when he returns to their dorm. Ushijima looks up from his bed.

“What is it?”

“I have a job!” Oikawa throws himself next to Ushijima and tells him all about it and how he got it and about his new boss, who seems to be really nice. After a while, he stops. “Isn’t that great?”

“Yes. I am happy for you,” Ushijima says, smiling.

“And the uniform is so cute too!” Oikawa continues. “Anyway, that was about my day. How about yours?”

“I’m in. I’m in the Junior National volleyball team.”

Oikawa stares at him. “Are you… stupid, Ushiwaka?! You should’ve interrupted me and told me! I can’t believe I rambled about my job all the time when you were accepted! You should’ve called me! Or-”

“It’s okay. I like listening to you talking.”

“Ever thought that I might like listening to you too, Ushiwaka?” Oikawa sighs and kisses him. “I am happy for you. Congratulations, we should really celebrate this!” 

Oikawa calls the others, who bring up the rest of the volleyball team and soon they’re all at someone’s place, celebrating for Ushijima. 

“Ushiwaka, you’re a horrible drunk,” Oikawa says, when they’re alone on the balcony, while all the others are inside drinking. They probably just needed an excuse to drink anyway. 

“Am not,” Ushijima slurs, hugging Oikawa, who laughs.

“I know. You’re cute. _I_ am a horrible drunk. I stir up drama and complain all the time.” Ever since he got into that one fight with Ushijima because he had been so drunk, he has been very careful with how much alcohol he drinks.

Ushijima usually doesn’t drink anyway, but today is an exception.

“Mhm, but it’s okay, because I love you,” Ushijima says, hugging him closer and kisses Oikawa’s cheek.

“Okay, snap out of it,” Oikawa says, chuckling. “The others are inside. And they can see us through the window.”

“I don’t care.”

Oikawa rolls his eyes. “Stupid.” He gives his boyfriend a peck on his lips. “Let’s go back inside.”

Inside, Kuroo and Bokuto snatch him away from Oikawa, but he doesn’t mind. The entire team enjoys affectionate drunk Ushijima too much and all try to get a hug from the big guy. But at the end of the day, it’s Oikawa whom he clings onto the most.

* * *

  


It’s one day when Oikawa wakes up in the middle of the night and Ushijima’s naked body is laying next to him, way too hot. And the bed is also way too small for the both of them. Oikawa groans and sits up. He wants to walk to his bed, but Ushijima pulls him back again.

“Ushiwaka, you’re way too hot,” Oikawa complains. “And this bed is too small for the both of us.”

They’ve tried putting the beds together once, until they got caught. Apparently, it’s against the dorm rules to rearrange the furniture. 

“We’ll get a bigger one,” Ushijima just replies.

Oikawa laughs. “What are you even talking about?” He turns around and Ushijima seems like he’s still half asleep, when he tugs Oikawa’s head under his chin.

“We’ll get a bigger one once I’ll ask you.”

“Ask me what?”

Ushijima doesn’t reply, he’s asleep again. Oikawa slaps his cheek lightly. “Ushiwaka! Wake up! You can’t just say something like that and go back to sleep!”

Ushijima opens his eyes again and their gaze meets in the darkness. “I wanted to ask you if you want to move in with me into an apartment. The semester is almost over and we’re used to living with each other anyway. And I want you to stay in bed with me the day afterwards.”

Oikawa stares at him, feeling his face burning. “You… you really like cuddling, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa hugs him. “Yes.” He can’t stop smiling and kisses Ushijima with his lips closed. “Yeah, I want to. Let’s move in together.”

“Good. Now go back to sleep.”

“I can’t, Ushiwaka! I’m too excited now!” Oikawa shouts. “A big apartment with a balcony, where we can grow vegetables and other stuff! You like grow them, right? And I decorate it! And we’ll get a big bed where we both fit in! And it’s close to college and it will have a nice kitchen.”

“Neither of us can cook,” Ushijima says and Oikawa pouts.

“You don’t need to mention that, let me have the imagination of a beautiful first apartment with my boyfriend!” Maybe it is too soon. They haven’t even been dating for two months now and already want to move in together. But on the other hand, they’ve lived with each other for almost a year now in a very tiny place, they have to get along, right?

“Okay.” Ushijima strokes his hair. “It will have a nice kitchen.”

“How long have you thought about this?”

Ushijima thinks about it. “Remember when you asked me about Imada?”

“That was weeks ago!” Oikawa shouts.

“I know.”

Oikawa sighs and takes Ushijima’s hand, entwining their fingers together. “I can’t wait.” He kisses their entwined fingers and Ushijima smiles. “But I still can’t sleep here.”

Ushijima chuckles. “Okay.” He kisses Oikawa’s forehead, before Oikawa stands up and walks over to his bed again.

Soon, he doesn’t need to do this anymore.

* * *

  


Oikawa feels like an awful boyfriend.

Well, he’s not an _awful_ boyfriend, but he’s not like Ushijima. So he takes the matters into his own hands. He has to do something to show him that he cares about him too. He’s still too excited about the fact that they’re going to move in with each other.

“I should do something,” Oikawa complains to his friends. “Nowadays I’m just way too busy with classes and my job and practice. I see him all the time, but I barely even have time for him alone!”

“Does this mean you don’t have sex?” Kuroo asks and Oikawa furrows his brows.

“Kuro-chan! How is this the first question you ask to my misery?”

“I’m sorry.” Kuroo laughs. 

“Okay,” Mika says. “I have an idea.”

“What is it?” Oikawa asks.

“Valentine’s Day is around the corner.”

“Mika-chan, I love you, but that is for girls,” Oikawa tells her. “Last time I checked, I’m not a girl.”

“Last time I checked, White Day is too far away and you want to do something _now_ , right?” she asks him, grinning. 

Oikawa sighs. She is right and he nods. “But what? I don’t just want to buy him chocolate and I can’t make anything myself!”

“That’s where I come in, don’t worry.” She smiles. “We can make sweets for our boyfriends together!”

Bokuto chokes on his drink. “Can I join?”

“What? You want to make something for Akaashi?” Kuroo asks. “Now I feel bad. Should I make something for Kenma?”

Mika narrows her eyes. “I… Do what you want. My kitchen isn’t that big.”

“You want to make it in your kitchen?” Oikawa asks and Mika nods.

“Yeah, at my family’s home. I wanted to visit them anyway.”

“Count me in! I’ve always wanted to see Mika-chan’s home!” Kuroo shouts. 

“What about Misaki?” Bokuto asks. “Doesn’t she want to make something for Alisa-san too?”

“Oh.” Mika shrugs it off. “She’s doing it with some of the girls from the volleyball team. Oikawa, do you know that Aoki-san and our captain are going out?”

“What? Saito-senpai is dating that cute girl from the volleyball team?” Kuroo and Bokuto ask.

“Who is Aoki again?” Oikawa asks.

Mika rolls her eyes. “You know, the girl who asked you out but you turned her down. Anyway, we have to buy some things before we can make chocolate for our boyfriends.” She looks to Kuroo. “And don’t you dare put poison or something into my chocolate.”

“I would never!” he shouts. “But you’re giving me a great idea….”

* * *

  


Mika is incredibly talented in decorating the chocolates and hers look the best.

“Why are you so good at this?” Bokuto complains after he failed his third attempt and Mika takes over for him.

“My sister is a patissier,” she explains. “She’s way older than me and taught me when I was a kid. I’m not interested, though.”

“You still think you’re going to marry him?” Kuroo asks and Mika smiles.

“Yes. I haven’t told you, but the last time I Daishou asked my ring size! I think he wants to get us promise rings.”

“I am disgusted,” Kuroo says. “But how do you know? They could just be couple rings.”

“Nope.” She just shakes her head and Oikawa laughs. She’s really stubborn.

“I’m happy for you then. I guess,” Kuroo adds.

“Thank you.” She smiles and they continue making their sweets for their boyfriends. When Valentine’s day comes around, Oikawa is busy. The café he’s working at is really busy during Valentine’s day, which falls on a Sunday. A lot of young couples are here, so they all have to work.

Even their boss is here. He’s kind of annoying and holding Oikawa back from actually working, because he keeps talking to him and asking him useless stuff. It’s late, when Oikawa finally gets back. 

Ushijima is currently packing his stuff (they’ve been doing this recently every time they had some time to spare) and Oikawa just jumps onto his back, throwing his arms around him.

“Ushiwaka!” he shouts and kisses his back. Ushijima falls over and Oikawa lands on top of him. “Sorry.” He gets down and Ushijima helps Ushijima sit up.

“Hey.” He smiles. “I haven’t seen you all day.”

“Sorry, I was busy.” They kiss each other and Oikawa grabs into his messenger bag. He takes out a little wrapped present and gives it to him. “For you.”

“Is this… for Valentine’s Day?” Ushijima asks.

“It’s okay if you don’t have anything for me. It’s better this way actually!”

“Why?”

Oikawa looks down. “I just… I don’t know, I feel like I don’t do much. And you’re always so sweet and… you were the one who asked me to move in together and I never do anything,” he explains. “I just wanted to do something nice for you.

“Oh god, this is embarrassing. Ushiwaka, just open it and eat it!“

Ushijima smiles. “Thank you.” He opens the present and looks into it. “They look good.”

“You don’t like sweets,” Oikawa suddenly remembers. God damn it, how could he forget?

“I am still happy for everything you give to me. You made them yourself, right?” Oikawa nods. “Then I’m even happier.” He pulls Oikawa close and kisses him. “And you don’t have to worry. You do enough. I love you.”

Oikawa smiles and takes one of the pieces of chocolate. “You should try them.” He smirks and puts it between his teeth. He cups Ushijima’s face and kisses him, pushing the chocolate into his lover’s mouth. “And?”

“It’s very good.”

“Mika-chan helped me. And Kuroo and Bokuto,” Oikawa explains.

“Now I feel bad-”

“Ushiwaka, I said it’s fine. You can give me something for White Day. Also…” Oikawa looks down at the box Ushijima is currently putting some of his things in. “You know how I said I want to get used to us first before using first names?”

Ushijima nods. “Yes.”

“Well, we’re moving in together soon and are searching for apartments and… I think, I don’t know.” Oikawa groans. “Why is this so weird to bring up, Ushiwaka?”

“Don’t call me that.”

Oikawa takes a deep breath. “Wakatoshi,” he whispers. 

“Tooru,” Ushijima replies and their lips find each other again.

“Is it fine if I call you Waka-chan? Or Toshi-chan?”

Ushijima narrows his eyes and sighs. “Yes.” 

“Just kidding. Calling you Waka-chan in bed would be weird, wouldn’t it? You could go soft again,” Oikawa jokes and Ushijima shakes his head, smiling. “It’s okay to only call you Wakatoshi when we’re alone, right?”

“Of course.” 

Oikawa grins and slides his hand under Ushijima’s shirt. “How about we start now?”

Ushijima bites down on his lower lip and leans in to kiss him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how much fluff is too much fluff asking for a friend
> 
> also affectionate drunk ushiwaka strikes again
> 
> (song: teenage dreams - katy petty)


	28. Can you feel me now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t you dare, Wakatoshi,” Oikawa hisses at his boyfriend. “I don’t want to see any more Shiratorizawa members.”
> 
> Tendou laughs. “Oikawa, I always thought you were funny.”
> 
> “ _You_ didn’t have to drive with him for hours. He played… very strange songs,” Iwaizumi whispers.
> 
> “It’s called Dubstep and it’s cool!” Tendou shouts.

Finding an apartment is harder than they both thought it was.

It’s hard to find one they both can afford and which is close enough from their college buildings. It’s also hard to find one when they’re both too busy with practice and classes. Oikawa has his job on top of that and it’s really exhausting.

He wants this to be perfect.

He wants him and Ushijima be like a cute couple going through apartments together, looking at them and dreaming about how their future place would look like, together. But sadly, they can’t do that.

In the little time they have together during the nights, they either fall asleep from exhaustion, have sex or go through ads for cheap flats. Ushijima has more free time than Oikawa, so he’s usually the one that checks those flats out and takes pictures they later look at together.

And they’re not all bad. But it’s just that Oikawa really wants to find one _together_. This is probably stupid. 

Until one day, right before the semester ends, their captain talks to Oikawa. It’s the last practice for him and he calls him over at the end.

“Hey, Oikawa-san, can we talk?”

“Sure, Saito-senpai!” Oikawa smiles and puts his water bottle down. The others already head to the showers and Saito pats on the place next to him on the bench. “Is something up?”

Saito takes a deep breath. “Can you believe it’s almost been a year already since you first started here?”

“No,” Oikawa says. “It went by so fast.”

“Yeah, it has,” Saito agrees. “My years in college have too.”

Oikawa still isn’t sure why their captain wants to talk to him. “You know, Oikawa-san, in the beginning I thought you were just really stubborn. Back when you refused to play properly to Ushijima.”

“I know, that was childish of me.”

Saito laughs. “And now you’re dating him.”

“Is this going anywhere, Saito-chan? Oh, are you giving me a prep talk? Does everyone get one or am I just special?”

“You’re special.”

“You can’t be hitting on me!” Oikawa jokes and Saito rolls his eyes.

“I’m just saying, you changed a lot since then. So have the others too, especially Ushijima. You’re really good, but you’re different than the others. All of you are very capable players,” Saito explains. “And while everyone agrees that Ushijima as our ace is probably going to be the strongest force on the team when I’m gone-”

“Are you complimenting yourself, Saito-chan?”

“Yes. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, I think you’re even more valuable,” Saito says. “You bring out the best in the team. You’re hardworking and analyzing, you’re smart. Ushijima, Bokuto, Kuroo… They’re all really good. All of them were probably great captains in their former High School, but I think the one who’s most fitting out of all of you to be captain is you.”

Oikawa doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t have any words, instead, he opens his mouth wide open.

Saito grins. “There’s a long way to go, though,” he adds. “You’re not gonna be the captain next year, that’s already Mori. But I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d be captain of this team one day.”

“Thank you, senpai.” Oikawa smiles. “This means a lot.” He’s happy because he’s the one their captain compliments. He has faith in Oikawa. And it’s stupid, but he’s also secretly happy that he believes in him to hold their team together more than in Ushijima.

“What I also wanted to talk about is…” Saito grabs into the pocket of his jersey and puts a note into Oikawa’s hand. “I heard you and Ushijima are searching for an apartment. It’s not that close, but you can get here in fifteen minutes. Also, it has a balcony.”

“What…”

“It’s where I lived the last years,” Saito explains. “Kinda expensive for just one person, but it was worth it. It’s big. Well, big enough for two at least. You should check it out. I could show you around, I’m moving out in two weeks, so…”

Oikawa smiles and nods. “Ah, thank you so much, senpai!”

Saito laughs. “No problem.” He gets up and pats Oikawa’s shoulder. “We should go shower then.” Oikawa nods.

“By the way, if you don’t mind me asking, what is becoming of you and Aoki-san?”

“Long distance relationship. Can’t help it.” Saito shrugs. “But I want to give it a try. Would you give up on Ushijima just because of the distance?”

Oikawa shakes his head. “No.”

* * *

 

  
“So, the place is perfect then?” Kuroo asks and Oikawa nods.

“It’s everything we asked for! And we’ll make it beautiful and I will learn how to cook!” Oikawa declares.

Mika laughs. “You? Learn how to cook?” She tilts her head.

“You’re hurting my feelings, Mika-chan.”

She sighs and pinches his note. “Just kidding, I’m happy for you two. How about you guys?” She turns to Kuroo and Bokuto.

“Kenma and I still haven’t found anything.” Kuroo groans. “This is getting frustrating. There’s this flat we want, but I don’t know if we get it.”

“Good,” Bokuto says. “I can’t believe you’re leaving me, bro. Who knows who I will get as my roommate?”

“I’d want to be your roommate,” Mika says, “sadly, it’s against the rules.”

Bokuto puts his face on the table. “Why did Akaashi get into another college… It’s not fair. He lives even farther away now! Ushiwaka and Oikawa will live together and be lovey dovey and so are you and Kenma and I’m here alone… I will probably not even see him once a month!”

Misaki clears her throat. “Mika-chan and I are also not living with our partner. You still have us.”

“Yeah, but this is going to be so lonely! You’ll like, cook together in your kitchen and here at lunch are only me and the girls!”

“What is that supposed to mean, Bokuto-san?” Mika asks, but then laughs. “I know what you mean, though. Why does Suguru’s college have to be so far away?” She sighs. “You and Alisa could move in together.”

Misaki blushes. “It’s different. We haven’t even been dating for half a year. You all have known your boyfriends for so long. I still sometimes can’t believe I’m dating her.”

Ushijima sits down next to Oikawa. “Where were you?” Oikawa asks.

“I was talking to our captain. He said he can give us the keys later this week.”

Oikawa squeals and squeezes Ushijima’s hand. “I’m so excited!”

Ushijima smiles. “Me too.”

“You’re making me depressed,” Bokuto murmurs.

* * *

  


During the holidays, they get help from their friends moving in. Oikawa is happy to see that they’ve made so many friends, because everyone’s eager to help them, but in the end they don’t need that much.

The flat already has a kitchen and their captain sold them his couch for a good price. Apart from that, Oikawa and Ushijima don’t have a bed- yet. They’re saving up for one, but a futon was enough right now.

Mika isn’t here to help them, because she and Suguru are on some romantic trip in Europe. It sure is different to be dating a rich guy, but she really loves him, not just for his money. Kuroo, Bokuto and Misaki are there, though, and they help them carry their heavy boxes, until Oikawa gets a phone call from Iwaizumi.

“Oi, open your door, I’m downstairs with this… guy.”

Oikawa laughs and opens the door to see Iwaizumi and Tendou. “Iwa-chan!” He hugs him and Iwaizumi stumbles back.

“Oikawa, you better tell me that his driving license isn’t fake because it sure as hell felt like it is,” Iwaizumi says.

“Hey!” Tendou shouts. “I can hear you!”

Ushijima greets them and then introduces him to the others. “I hope the ride wasn’t too bad?” Oikawa asks and Iwaizumi scoffs.

“I did this for you. You better repay me.”

Tendou and Iwaizumi rode all the way to Tokyo together in his car with all of Oikawa’s and Ushijima’s stuff they have left there.

“I know, you’re the best friend,” Oikawa says. “You did a lot of stuff for me! If you want something, just tell me!”

Iwaizumi stares at him and shakes his head. “Pay me dinner or something.”

“Okay!”

“Two dinners. Wait, three.”

Oikawa pouts. “Now you’re just being greedy.”

Tendou runs around in their apartment and looks through everything and comments it. “Wakatoshi, this is cool! Man, you really have to invite us all one day!” He pats Ushijima on his back.

“Don’t you dare, _Wakatoshi_ ,” Oikawa hisses at his boyfriend. “I don’t want to see any more Shiratorizawa members.”

Tendou laughs. “Oikawa, I always thought you were funny.”

“ _You_ didn’t have to drive with him for hours. He played… very strange songs,” Iwaizumi whispers.

“It’s called Dubstep and it’s cool!” Tendou shouts.

They help them move in and at the end of the day, they invite all their friends to the small diner across the street and treat them for a bowl of noodles. Misaki, who’s already twenty years old, buys a bottle of wine, which they open when they get back again.

Since they’re so many it isn’t enough for any of them to get tipsy, but it’s still a nice gesture. Tendou isn’t allowed to drink, though, since he still has to drive back.

They say their goodbyes to their friends and Oikawa makes Iwaizumi promise to visit them soon again.

“And bring Makki and Mattsun with you!”

“What, you’re allowed to have Seijoh members here, but Wakatoshi isn’t allowed to invite us?” Tendou asks.

“Yes,” Oikawa says.

“How is that fair?”

Oikawa sighs. “Fine. They’re allowed to be here, when I’m not here.”

When they’re all gone, Oikawa turns to Ushijima and sighs. “I can’t believe we don’t have glasses or dishes yet.”

“We’ll buy them tomorrow,” Ushijima says and Oikawa smiles. He throws his arms around Ushijima’s waist and leans his head against his shoulder.

“And we need a vacuum cleaner. And more kitchen gadgets, even if we can’t cook.” Oikawa sighs again. “So much to do! I’m so tired, Wakatoshi.”

Ushijima kisses the top of his head. “Do you want to sleep now?”

Oikawa shakes his head. “No. I want to take a bath and then have sex with you for the first time in our new home. Or at the same time.” He looks up and smirks. “What about you?”

“I want what you want, Tooru.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa smiles, nudging his nose against Ushijima’s. “I think I’m too tired right now for shower sex. It sounds exhausting and like you said, I don’t want to slip. But I will take a bath.”

“Okay, I will clean up some things,” Ushijima agrees.

“If you want, you can join me. Unless you can’t hold yourself back,” Oikawa teases.

“Don’t underestimate me. We don’t fit anyway.”

Oikawa rolls his eyes. “You can be a little bit more romantic! Also, put down bath bombs on our to buy list!” He heads to the bathroom.

* * *

  
When Oikawa gets out of the bathroom, Ushijima is still putting in some books on the shelves. Oikawa sighs, leaning against the door frame.

“I’m disappointed, Ushiwaka,” he says. “I waited for you! Look, my skin got all wrinkly.”

Ushijima gets up and kisses him. “I am sorry.” He closes his eyes. “Did you use my shampoo?”

“Yes. You always have this ridiculous expensive shampoo and a tons of creams,” Oikawa explains. “Even more than _me_.”

“The advertisement is promising,” Ushijima defends himself. He strokes Oikawa’s cheek. “Your skin feels nice.” He kisses him. “I will go shower now too.”

“Don’t take too long,” Oikawa shouts after him. He sighs and sits down next to the box Ushijima has been taking all the things out. He grabs into it and sees the frames he has taken with him from the dorms.

He smiles, thinking about this is how their friendship started. Almost a year ago, when Oikawa got his ankle hurt and Ushijima gave him a cream. When Oikawa asked him about his dogs.

He makes a mental note that he needs to buy more frames so he can decorate their flat with pictures of them both. He texts Iwaizumi, asking how the ride is and Iwaizumi sends back a selfie of him and Tendou. The bad thing is that Tendou is taking the selfie. The guy that is supposed to be driving.

_!!! stuck in a traffic jam !!!!  ( >_ 皿 _< )_

_that was tendou he took my phone_

Oikawa smiles. Maybe those two do get along after all. He can’t really imagine it, but then again here he is. Spending his first night in his and Ushijima’s flat. He dries his hair with a towel and gets out of his bathrobe into more comfortable clothes.

Right before Oikawa can put on a shirt, he stops and grins, taking one of Ushijima’s shirts. He doesn’t even bother with pants when he sits down on the futon, waiting for his boyfriend to return. When he does, Ushijima stops.

“Is that my shirt?”

“First you ask about your shampoo and now about your shirt. Ushiwaka, it feels like you don’t know that _sharing is carin_ g.” Oikawa smirks and shifts, so the shirt falls down on his shoulder and exposes one of his shoulders.

Ushijima kneels in front of him. “Tooru…”

“You know,” Oikawa says, laying down on the bed. “Months ago I wore the same exact shirt. Do you remember what you said?”

“Yes.”

“What did you say, Wakatoshi?” Oikawa whispers, bringing up his arms and curling them around Ushijima’s neck, who puts his hands on Oikawa’s hips.

“I… asked you if I should do the laundry.”

“Yes. I was so hurt, you know? Here I was, lying in nothing burt your shirt and those tight leggings and that’s the response I got!” He shakes his head. “Kuroo was the one to give me the idea.”

“I had to hold myself back,” Ushijima says. “If the person you love lies walks around like that… It was very frustrating for me, Tooru.”

“You don’t have to hold yourself back anymore,” Oikawa replies. 

“Seems like I don’t.” Ushijima kisses him. Oikawa smiles into the kiss and then kisses him back, parting his lips, licking against Ushijima’s lips and tongue. He breaks the kiss and runs his fingers through Ushijima’s hair. 

“Get off me,” he orders and Ushijima does, even if he’s a little bit confused. “Lay down.”

Oikawa straddles his boyfriend. “Your hair is getting the futon wet,” he says. “Right at our first night.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t mind.” Ushijima is shirtless, so he doesn’t have to take off his shirt.  “Hand me my phone,” Oikawa tells him.

“Why?”

Oikawa rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to take pictures or make a sex tape.”

“I didn’t assume it.” Ushijima reaches out his hand and gives him the phone. Oikawa smirks and puts on a song. It’s Toxic by Britney Spears.

“Remember this one?” 

Ushijima nods. “I had to hold myself back then too,” he admits.

Oikawa bites down on his lower lip and starts moving his body to the song. Ushijima gets up, but Oikawa pushes him down again. “No touching,” he whispers. His boyfriend nods and lays down again, watching him with wide eyes.

Oikawa slowly lifts himself up to pull down Ushijima’s sweatpants. He doesn’t break eye contact, as starts grinding against Ushijima’s dick. His hands roam over Ushijima’s chest, touching his strong muscles and lowers himself down. He licks Ushijima’s neck, leaves a trail of kisses until his collar bone and when he sits up again, Oikawa takes off his pants.

“Tooru,” Ushijima whimpers.

“No touching,” Oikawa repeats. “Today leave the work to me.” He puts his hands next to Ushijima’s head. “I’m going to ride you, okay, big boy?”

Ushijima takes a deep breath and groans. “Yes.”

“Good.” Oikawa smirks and kisses him. “Lube and condoms?”

“In the box,” Ushijima replies and Oikawa reaches out to get the things. As he pours lube onto his fingers, he sighs.

“You know, I really wish we could just fuck without a condom,” he says. “I want to feel your cum inside me. I want you to fill me up.”

“Tooru-”

“But I just bathed and I don’t wanna do it again,” Oikawa interrupts him, sighing. “I guess we’ll have to leave that for another time, because I’m too tired to get up and clean up again.” He reaches his hand to his back. The song is over and another one starts playing.

He licks his lips, puts one of his hands on Ushijima’s chest and lifts himself up to his knees as he pushes a finger into him. Ushijima is breathing hard under him, tense and staring at Oikawa with wide eyes. 

“You’re such a tease,” Ushijima says.

“You can punish me for it one day,” Oikawa suggests, grinning. He starts moving his finger, and rolls his head. His lips meet Ushijima for a needy and messy kiss. He moans into Ushijima’s mouth as he opens himself up with another finger.

“Wakatoshi…,” he moans, “Ah, I can’t wait until you’re inside me. This isn’t enough.”

“Tooru,” Ushijima groans. “Please…”

“Say that again,” Oikawa whispers. “Beg for it.”

“ _Please_ , Tooru.”

Oikawa sits up straight again, strokes Ushijima’s throbbing length and pulls a condom over it. He quickly coats it with lube, both of their breath are heavy now and they’re eager to finally get on with it. Oikawa takes a deep breath as he aligns himself over Ushijima’s cock. He tries to relax as he lowers himself. When all of Ushijima is in him, he breathes out.

“Are you okay?” Ushijima asks him. His hands are on Oikawa’s thighs and Oikawa doesn’t mind.

“Yeah,” he says, nodding. “I’m alright.” He closes his eyes and Ushijima’s hands stroke his thighs. “I’m gonna- I’m going to move now.” 

He starts rocking back and forth slowly, moves his hips in circles. Soon, Oikawa picks up a faster pace and moves himself up and down. He finds the right angle and it doesn’t take long until they’re both panting and moaning. 

“Wakatoshi,” Oikawa moans, “ _fuck_.” It’s tiring, and Ushijima places his hands on Oikawa’s hips, gripping them. He starts moving too, meeting Oikawa’s moves and bucking his hips up. Oikawa’s feels so hot right now, the pleasure overflowing his entire body. He throws his head back, closing his eyes.

“You’re doing so well,” Ushijima tells him.

“Oh god,” Oikawa screams. “Talk more to me.”

Ushijima groans. “Fuck.” Oikawa is still surprised every time Ushijima curses in bed. “You’re so- you feel so good. So hot inside…”

Oikawa moans. “Wakatoshi…”

“You’re doing this so well, I love you, Tooru,” Ushima continues, “You’re taking me in so well, fuck. You’re so sexy.”

With every time their skin hit against each other, Oikawa feels like he’s getting driven closer to his orgasm. He starts touching himself, even if it’s messy and the rhythm is off.

“Ah, I’m going to come, Wakatoshi. I’m close-”

“Yeah, come for me, baby.” Ushijima’s voice is deep, like a growl and Oikawa is so fucking turned on by it. Ushijima pushes him up by his thighs and then slams him down with such a force, Oikawa shouts as he comes into his hand and spills onto Ushijima’s chest. 

Ushijima bucks his hip, thrusting him a few more times and it kind of hurts, but he knows that Oikawa likes it, until he comes too. 

“Oh god,” Oikawa breathes out and tries to get up. His legs are shaking, so Ushijima helps him and lays him down next to him. They’re both panting and sweating and when they turn to each other, a smile appears on their lips.

“I love you,” Ushijima says, taking Oikawa’s hand and kissing it.

“Love you too.” Oikawa closes his eyes. “Clean up and then come back to cuddle me.”

“Okay.” Ushijima does as he’s told, takes out tissues to clean them both up and throws away the condom, until he’s laying down next to Oikawa again.

Finally.

Oikawa cuddles himself onto Ushijima’s body and closes his eyes. “How much do you want to bet I’ve kicked you out of the bed or end up somewhere completely different?”

“I know you will. You’re not a cuddler.”

“I can’t control my sleeping self,” Oikawa defends himself and then yawns. “Good night, Ushiwaka.”

“Good night, Tooru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can u see that i literally wrote this chapter after that one chapter with ushiwaka + the ads came out
> 
> ok. but like. i never even thought about iwaten. and. i still dont know what to think of it,... but i dig it? i mean i'm also a big tensemi shipper but... iwaten is kinda nice too and they might or mgiht not get more time together
> 
> (song: britney spears - toxic , again, for reasons)


	29. we're back again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hajime, my man!” he shouts. 
> 
> Iwaizumi turns to Oikawa and mouthes ‘Save me’, but Tendou pats on his back. “I’m glad you’re here! You all know each other, right? This is Eita, Reon and Hayato!”
> 
> “Of course,” Oikawa says. “I’d never forget the faces of Shiratorizawa’s third years.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooheeooo we hit 300 kudos

Even though they have break, both of them are incredibly busy.

Oikawa is busy with working all the time. He takes more shifts now that he doesn’t have classes. He meets up with his friends sometimes during the week and they still sometimes have volleyball practice.

Ushijima on the other hand is completely gone most of the time, training with the national Junior volleyball team. When they get home both of them are usually too exhausted to do anything.

This is not how Oikawa has imagined their life when they freshly moved in together. One week has passed since they moved in with each other and Oikawa hates this. They live together and they’ve only had sex once.

_Once_!

He doesn’t expect them to sleep with each other every day, but they only just moved in with each other. This should be something new and exciting. He doesn’t blame Ushijima, because Oikawa also falls asleep directly too, as soon as he throws himself down on their futon.

He lets out a sigh and his boss looks over. “Everything alright, Tooru-san?”

Their boss is weird. He calls everyone by their first name, but he is still his boss, so Oikawa keeps his mouth shut. “Oh, yes, it is. Sorry, Maeda-san. I am just a little bit tired.”

“If you’re tired you can take a break,” Maeda says.

“Oh no, it’s okay.”

“I insist, Tooru-san. The others can take over, just rest at the back for fifteen minutes.”

“Thank you.” Oikawa gives him a smile and goes to the back, sitting down. He groans and rests his head against the wall. He drinks a little bit water from his water bottle and checks his phone. Oikawa dials Ushijima’s number. If he’s busy, his phone is silent and he’s not bothering him. If he isn’t, well, then Oikawa can talk with his boyfriend.

Luckily, Ushijima picks up. “Oikawa, did something happen?”

“No, why should something happen for me to call my boyfriend?”

“Good.”

“So, you’re on a break right now too?” Oikawa asks.

“Yes. We have a thirty minute break.”

“Well, I was kind of tired and my boss sent me to the back to rest. Isn’t he nice?”

“That’s really considerate of him,” Ushijima agrees. “But are you feeling well? Maybe you should take less shifts.”

“No, I’m fine. I’m not _tired_ tired,” Oikawa explains. “I’m just… tired. You know, because we just moved in together for a week and we barely see each other. Like, when you think about moving in with your boyfriend you think about spending time together, right? And cooking or eating.

“To be fair, it’s probably a good thing we don’t cook together, but… I just really want that.“

His face is heating up.

“Yes, I want that too. I am sorry, I really wish we could see each other more often.”

“Plus, we’ve only had sex twice in our new place! Can you believe?”

“I get home early today,” Ushijima informs him. “I’ll give you everything you want.” His voice is deep and rough and Oikawa swallows hard.

“Yeah?”

“Yes. Anything. It’s White Day tomorrow too.”

“Oh, yeah. But the café is going to be really busy on White Day, you know how it is,” Oikawa says. “But… I will look forward to tonight then.”

“I have to go. Please take care of yourself and don’t work too hard. I know you overwork yourself too often,” Ushijima reminds him and then, after a short pause, “I love you.”

Oikawa smiles. “See you tonight, Wakatoshi.” He hangs up and then sees his boss walking towards him.

“I see you’re feeling better now then, Oikawa-san?”

“Yes! The break really helped me, thank you again, Maeda-san,” Oikawa says and gets up. “I can work again.”

“So that was your boyfriend you were calling?”

Oikawa’s face turns white. He doesn’t know what to say and hesitates. “I… er, did you… hear…”

“Yes. I didn’t mean to spy on your conversation, but I just walked in,” Maeda replies.

_Fuck, please don’t be a homophobe and fire me_ , Oikawa thinks. “Yes. I… That’s not a problem, is it?”

His boss walks closer and Oikawa hates this. He is used to everyone in his volleyball team knowing and some at college. Not everyone’s accepting about it, but it’s not like they can throw him out. But his boss? Yes. That’s why he hasn’t told anyone at his current job, even the co workers he gets along and goes out to eat lunch with.

“Of course it’s not a problem,” his boss replies and Oikawa breathes out. “I too have that… sort of interest.”

Okay, now this is creepy. Maybe it isn’t, maybe his boss just wants him to tell that it’s okay and he’s not alone. But the way he smirks is just plain creepy for Oikawa.

“Er, thank you. I’ll go back to work now then.” Oikawa leaves.

* * *

  


  


When Oikawa wakes up the next morning, Ushijima is already awake. Actually, he wakes him up by opening the curtains and letting the sun shine right into Oikawa’s face. He groans.

“Close the curtains, Ushiwaka!” he shouts grabbing Ushijima’s pillow and throwing it against him. Ushijima catches the pillow and kneels next to Oikawa, kissing his forehead.

“Wake up.”

“No. I am tired. What time is it? It feels like I can still sleep more.”

“It’s 7 a.m.”

“Seven!” Oikawa shouts. “And you’re waking me up? Sorry, but did you forget how long we stayed awake last night? I can still feel it. My body aches. Take responsibility for being so big and let me sleep.”

Ushijima usually never wakes him up, he leaves when Oikawa is still sleeping.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to wake you up before I go,” Ushijima explains. “Since you said you don’t know how late you’ll be home today.”

Oikawa sits up and nods slowly. “I’ll go brush my teeth. Make coffee, okay?”

Ushijima nods. When Oikawa is finished with brushing his teeth, he goes to the kitchen and sits down next to Ushijima, taking the cup of coffee.

“I still can’t believe we haven’t cooked anything,” Oikawa says.

Ushijima sits down next to him. “I would’ve gotten you sweets, but you said you have enough of sweets.”

Oikawa never would’ve thought that day might come, but working at a café made that happen.

“What is it then?”

Ushijima hands him a little box and Oikawa takes a deep breath before opening it. It’s a silver bracelet with the cancer sign. “It’s beautiful!” Oikawa throws his arms around Ushijima. “Thank you, Ushiwaka!” He places a kiss on his cheek.

Ushijima smiles. “I’m glad you like it.”

Oikawa puts the bracelet on and kisses Ushijima. “That day in the barn,” he tells him, “that was super romantic. I can’t believe I didn’t fall hard for you back then.

“Well, I did later.“

Ushijima’s phone rings. He looks at it. “I have to go,” he says. “I’m sorry. I hope we’ll see each other tonight before either of us is asleep.”

“Okay.” Oikawa nods.

“Don’t forget to eat breakfast!”

“I have my milkbread!” Because there’s no way he can get tired of milk bread. Oikawa looks down at his bracelet and smiles, drinking his coffee. His phone rings too, and he sees it’s a message from Mika.

It’s a picture of her and Daishou, while she’s holding up a necklace with a ring on it.

_he rlly got me a >promise< ring!!!! isnt he the cutest?_

Oikawa sends her back a picture of his bracelet. Before he can reply to the text, another message pops up.

_i know! suguru told me he and ushiwaka bought those together! :)_

_it better not be expensive then (_ ๑ · _`_ ▱ _´_ · ๑ _) we still dont have a bed!_

But it makes Oikawa smile, thinking about how Ushijima and Daishou went out their way to meet each other and get those presents for their partners.

* * *

  


“So, this weekend you have a day off, right?” Oikawa asks.

Ushijima nods. “Yes.”

Oikawa sits up and smiles. “Are you doing anything special… except for me of course?” 

Ushijima raises his eyebrows at Oikawa’s bad joke. “I wanted to visit my mother. Kyo gave birth.”

Oikawa widens his mouth. “Forget everything! I’m coming with you!” he shouts. “I need to see the puppies!”

Ushijima shows him a picture his mother sent him and Oikawa can’t stop staring at them. So instead of spending the weekend together with their other friends, they drive home to their hometowns.

It’s the weirdest thing to see. Oikawa never in his life he’d ever see this, but here it is.

He’s heading to Ushijima’s house, visiting his boyfriend and his two dogs and their four new puppies. And he’s not the only one who came along. No, Iwaizumi is there too, and so is Kyoutani. 

“This is so weird,” Iwaizumi says. “Why do you have to date Ushiwaka out of all people? I never wanted to even see his house!”

“You didn’t have to come along, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa sings. “But I’m glad you are.”

“Ever since I drove to Tokyo for you with Tendou, he has been bothering me. He visits me almost every day at my work. And all he does is either annoy me, play Pokemon or read some manga.”

“Aw, Iwa-chan, I think you have an admirer!” Oikawa turns to Kyoutani. “Don’t you think so too, Kyouken-chan?”

Kyoutani scoffs. “I don’t care. I’m just here for the puppies.”

Apparently, Kyoutani somehow found out Ushijima’s dogs got puppies and wants to give them away, and Kyoutani really loves dogs and wants one. Oikawa can’t blame him, he wants one too.

It’s not that bad, Oikawa thinks at first. They’ll see the puppies, Ushijima, maybe Tendou. That’s it. 

It is bad. Apart from Ushijima and Tendou there are some others too, when they arrive. They stop and stare at each other for a while, until Tendou breaks the silence.

“Hajime, my man!” he shouts. 

Iwaizumi turns to Oikawa and mouthes ‘Save me’, but Tendou pats on his back. “I’m glad you’re here! You all know each other, right? This is Eita, Reon and Hayato!”

“Of course,” Oikawa says. “I’d never forget the faces of Shiratorizawa’s third years.” Yes, he got over his rivalry with Ushijima, but that doesn’t change the fact that he hates his former team. And the fact that they beat them in every single game. He feels worked up again, even a little bit angry, until Ushijima takes his hand.

“I’m glad you all made it here. Come inside.” He kisses Oikawa’s cheek, who flushes. He lets go of Ushijima’s hand but follows him inside the house. Soon, all grudges are forgotten when they meet the puppies and pet them.

Kyoutani is especially fond of one of them, which he pets in his lap the entire time, without saying anything else. Oikawa has never seen this boy so calm. 

“Ushiwaka,” Oikawa says. “Can’t we keep a puppy? Can’t we have one of them? Our apartment allows pets!”

“We’re both very busy,” Ushijima says. “Especially you with your job.”

Oikawa pouts. Sadly, he is right. “You’re mean, Ushiwaka.”

“I still can’t believe this,” Semi murmurs. “How long have you been together now?”

“Semi-chan, you know we can all hear you, right?” Oikawa turns to the other setter, his voice bitter. Semi flinches. “And it’s been three months.”

“Three months and already living together,” Yamagata mutters. “That’s quick.”

“To be fair, they already lived together for almost a year before they got together,” Iwaizumi replies.

Ah, in time of misery, Oikawa can always count on his best friend. “Exactly.”

Even though they spend a lot time together, they don’t get along. Except for maybe Tendou, the guy who used to get on Oikawa’s nerves the most next to Ushijima. Currently, all he does is getting on Iwaizumi’s nerves, but he doesn’t push him away so Oikawa assumes he doesn’t _really_ mind.

Tendou even offers him a ride home along with the others, but there’s not room for all of them, including Kyoutani, so Iwaizumi declines.

“Okay, see you tomorrow at the shop then!” Tendou shouts when he gets into the car.

“Does that mean he… When will he stop coming?” Iwaizumi asks, sighing.

“Aw, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa teases. “Maybe he has a crush on you.”

“Not funny!”

“What do you think, Kyouken-chan?” Oikawa asks his former kouhai.

“Don’t know, don’t really care,” he answers and Oikawa gasps.

“You’re so cruel!” 

Oikawa stays that night at Ushijima’s place, but it’s not like they can do much, since Ushijima’s mother gets back home. It’s nice to talk to her and get to know more about her, even though she only thinks he’s a good friend of Ushijima and not his boyfriend. 

He sleeps on the floor on a futon and after a while, Oikawa gets up and lays down next to Ushijima on his bed. “The floor is uncomfortable,” Oikawa says. “And I got used to sleeping next to you so take responsibility, Wakatoshi.” 

“You know,” Ushijima says, “once break is over we will have more time to spend with each other.”

“Yeah.” Oikawa turns around and lets Ushijima hug him from behind, one of his hands on Oikawa’s hip. 

“I… There’s this program at our university on the weekend and I thought maybe you and I could attend it.”

“A program? What kind of?”

“A cooking class.” Oikawa turns around and stares at Ushijima. “Since neither of us can cook and we always get take out or buy processed food. I want to be able to cook with you and I think attending a cooking class would be a nice activity for our relatio-”

“Shut up, Ushiwaka.” Oikawa kisses him. “Sure, we can do it. But don’t complain when all the girls start hitting on me because they think I’m such a catch.” 

Ushijima smiles. “I look forward to it then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (song: backstreet boys - everybody)
> 
> i did not forget ushiwaka/daishou friendship
> 
> and ... yeah not so subtle but still subtle iwaten
> 
> also intro: shiratori 3rd yrs bc shiratori is my fav vb team
> 
> ALSO SHAMELESS SELF PROMO:  
> i wrote a new fic, its a chatfic for the 2nd captain squad, check it [out if ur interested](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7427812/chapters/16871710) (especially if u want more shiratori/seijou bickering) (i mean yahaba and shirabu)


	30. I can kiss away the pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then, he puts down his foot and puts the other one on, starting to hum, as he rolls up the sock to his thighs.
> 
> Something is dropped onto the floor and Oikawa flinches, turning around to see Ushijima standing at the doorframe.
> 
> “Oh, Ushiwaka! Didn’t hear you coming in. I just found them, remember-”
> 
> Ushijima storms towards him and Oikawa is too surprised to react, when his boyfriend presses him against the wall. “Are you doing this on purpose again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me while writing this chapter: i will go to HELL  
> i was like. yelling @ my friend the entire time i wrote the smut part and we were yelling at each other and she helped me write it bc i am way too innocent   
> this isnt even that bad i'm just  
> an innocent angel

Oikawa has just finished showering and heads to their bedroom to search for clothes. They still have an hour until they have to be at Kuroo and Kenma’s place, who are throwing a party for moving in. It’s not really a party, just a little get together with their closest friends.

What should he wear? Maybe something nicer. He thinks about Kuroo and Bokuto’s comments on how his fashion sense is horrible every time Oikawa tries to dress up nicely and sighs. He drops the towel around his neck on a chair and looks through his clothes.

That is, when his hands find something nice. Oikawa totally forgot he got them. It’s the thigh high laced socks he got months ago in order to seduce Ushijima. Black and white. He never wore them again afterwards, but they do look great.

Ushijima isn’t home right now, he is in charge to buy a present for Kuroo and Kenma, so Oikawa has all the time in the world. He puts his foot on the chair and puts on one of the white socks. He prefers the white ones still, black just isn’t his color. Then, he puts down his foot and puts the other one on, starting to hum, as he rolls up the sock to his thighs.

Something is dropped onto the floor and Oikawa flinches, turning around to see Ushijima standing at the doorframe.

“Oh, Ushiwaka! Didn’t hear you coming in. I just found them, remember-”

Ushijima storms towards him and Oikawa is too surprised to react, when his boyfriend presses him against the wall. “Are you doing this on purpose again?”

“Eh- no. I was just... I just found them in the closet and wanted to put them on,” Oikawa replies, but he can’t concentrate, not when Ushijima presses one of his legs between Oikawa’s legs and trails one hand up and down on Oikawa’s thigh.

“You’re such a tease,” Ushijima growls against Oikawa’s ear.

Oikawa smirks, leaning his head against the wall. “Oh, somebody’s turned on by this, huh?”

“Yes.” Ushijima leans towards Oikawa and whispers into his ear. “I’m going to fuck you right here.”

Oikawa swallows. “But- we have to go to Kuroo and-”

“I don’t care.” Ushijima grabs Oikawa’s crotch. “You brought this onto yourself. Walking around in nothing but your underwear and those socks.”

Oikawa widens his eyes. He likes this Ushijima, likes his rough voice and how dominant he is. Ushijima kisses him passionately. His fingers dig into Oikawa’s hips and it hurts, but Oikawa moans at the sensation. Especially, when he slides his hands in the back of Oikawa’s underwear and bites down on Oikawa’s lips.

He lifts Oikawa up and Oikawa steadies himself on Ushijima, legs around his hips, back against the wall. “Ah, Wakatoshi,” he breathes, when Ushijima starts sucking on his neck, leaving marks on Oikawa’s pale skin. His hips buck up and meet Oikawa’s hardening erection.

Oikawa’s fingers grab onto Ushijima’s hair, pulls on it and he throws his head back, when Ushijima bites lightly on his nipple. “Fuck, Wakatoshi, please,” he cries out.

“Please?” Ushijima asks.

“Fuck me,” Oikawa moans, leans down and tries to find Ushijima’s lips, wants to feel him against him, but Ushijima denies him this. He carries Oikawa to the futon, throws him down on it, tears down Oikawa’s underwear with such a force, Oikawa almost thinks he has ripped them apart.

“You want me to fuck you?” Ushijima asks him and Oikawa nods.

“Yeah,” he says.

Ushijima smirks, pushing Oikawa down with his hand when he tries to sit up. “Oh, don’t worry. I will fuck you, hard until you can’t walk anymore.” He lifts Oikawa’s chin up with one of his hands. His thumb strokes over Oikawa’s lips and parts them. Oikawa sits up again and this time, Ushijima doesn’t seem to mind. He gets on his knees, sprawled out in front of Ushijima, who puts his index and middle finger into his mouth.

“Suck on them,” he orders him and Oikawa moans, closes his eyes and does as he’s told. He doesn’t think he’s ever been more turned on by Ushijima as he is right now. He wants him to touch him, wants him to give him what he wants, but Ushijima doesn’t seem to want to do that any time soon.

Instead, he opens his jeans, pulls them down enough for him to free his erection  and then pulls out his fingers. He yanks Oikawa forward. “You have to earn it first,” he says and Oikawa looks at him with wide, hungry eyes.

“Please, anything,” he begs.

Ushijima yanks him forward and grabs into Oikawa’s hair. “What do you want?”

Oikawa’s face is near Ushijima’s hard cock and one of his hands curls around it. “I want to suck you off, I want to feel you deep inside my throat-”

Ushijima groans, stroking Oikawa’s cheek. The touch is much softer than the ones before and Oikawa takes this as a yes. He closes his eyes, doesn’t even think about teasing Ushijima, as he tries to take as much as he can in.

Ushijima grabs his hair, though he doesn’t move or bucks up his hips. “Ah, you’re doing so well,” he compliments him. Oikawa hums and wants to touch himself, but Ushijima grabs his hand and pushes him away.

“Don’t.”

Oikawa lets out a cry. “Ushiwaka-”

“Don’t call me that,” Ushijima says, pushing him down again. “Turn around and get on your knees.” Oikawa swallows and does as he’s told. He can feel Ushijima hovering him, who places his hands next to Oikawa’s. His face is next to his, when Ushijima grabs Oikawa’s face and turns him towards him.

“What do you want?”

Oikawa takes a deep breath. “You, I want you, Wakatoshi,” he answers.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Fuck me. I want you to fuck me from behind and, ah,” he moans, when he feels Ushijima’s length between his thighs. “ _Please,_ Wakatoshi. I need you in me right now, don’t tease me anymore. You don’t need to prep me-”

“What if I want to?” Ushijima cuts him off. The heat behind him disappears, when Ushijima gets up to grab the lube.

“No, you don’t have to-”

“Spread your legs.”

Oikawa does that too, and he doesn’t expect Ushijima to spread his cheeks and lean in. Oikawa presses his face into the pillow, can feel Ushijima’s breath at his back and then his tongue against his entrance and does he have to _tease him so much_?

“Ah, Wakatoshi,” Oikawa moans. “Just fuck me.”

“No.” Ushijima replies. His nose is against Oikawa’s ass and he starts licking him and Oikawa feels like he can’t breathe anymore, when Ushijima even massages his balls.

“Oh god,” Oikawa moans. Maybe he should wear those thighs more often, he thinks as he can feel Ushijima’s tongue work itself in him. The feeling of the wet and slickness makes his head dizzy and he can’t even form any words anymore, when Ushijima leans back, and pours lube over his hole, spreading him with a finger.

He wants to tell him to get on with it, to not bother, but Oikawa can’t. He tries to steady himself on his hands, when Ushijima _finally_ pulls out his fingers. “Are you ready?”

“I’ve been ready from the very beginning, Ushiwaka! Just get on with it!” Oikawa shouts and Ushijima just enters him in one thrust, cutting off Oikawa’s air. His hands grip into the sheets of the bed as Ushijima starts moving without any warning.

He moans Ushijima’s name as the other man fucks him, at the perfect angle, thrusting in him over and over again. The air is heavy, as their skin slaps against each other, voices mixed and blended.

“Yes, god- right there,” Oikawa moans. He doesn’t even need to tell Ushijima to go faster or harder, because he doesn’t even remember another time Ushijima has ever been this forceful and he _loves_ it.

“Please touch me,” Oikawa cries.

“No,” Ushijima growls, “you’ll come like this.”

Oikawa groans in frustration, but Ushijima isn’t wrong. With every thrust he’s driven more to the edge and soon, he comes without even having to be touched at the front. Ushijima fucks him through his orgasm and Oikawa’s legs give up, but Ushijima holds him steady with his grip around his hips. He comes inside Oikawa and then breathes heavily, slowly pulling out.

Oikawa collapses and groans, face pressed into the pillow. He can feel Ushijima’s cum falling down his thighs and ruining his socks. “Look at this mess you made,” Oikawa complains.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Oikawa turns around on his back, trying to steady his breath. “That was… amazing.”

Ushijima smiles. “Are you okay? I hope I wasn’t too rough-”

“Shut up, Ushiwaka, I said it was amazing. I like it when you turn into an animal.” He grins. “We have several problems now, though.”

“Which?”

“First: I need to shower again. Second: Our sheets are dirty. Then there’s the problem that we’re now definitely going to be too late to the party and…” Oikawa tries to move, only to squint his eyes in pain. “I don’t even know if I can walk.”

Ushijima widens his eyes. “I’m sorry, I-”

“Carry me to the bathroom, Wakatoshi. And then give them a call that we’ll be late.” Ushijima nods, as he picks up Oikawa and carries him to the bathroom, letting him down in the bathtub.

They are an hour too late to the party and Oikawa can feel his whole body ache from before, but he doesn’t complain. It has been incredible and it makes him remember.

Kuroo and Kenma’s flat is way too small for all the people they invited, including some of Nekoma’s former members Oikawa is introduced to. There’s this giant, who is Alisa’s little brother and has to duck every time he goes under doors. Apparently, he’s the ace of their current team.

There are others too, but Oikawa doesn’t pay too much attention to them. It’s funny that Kuroo even invited Daishou to come and he claims it’s because ‘He’s rich and he expected him to buy him the most expensive brand of wine as a welcome gift’, which he does, but Oikawa doubts that’s really the reason.

* * *

  


Oikawa still remembers Valentine’s Day. He has gotten a lot of chocolate by some of his admirers, some from college and a lot of the girls have been High School girls that admired him from afar and always went to their café to see him.

He is used to this. He always has a flock of girls following him around, even now when he’s in a relationship with a guy, because not everyone knows about it. If anyone asks, he’d probably tell them. Most people know him and his group of friends as that one ‘really gay Volleyball gang’.

Probably especially now that Kenma joined their group too. Bokuto’s new roommate is also on the volleyball team, fresh out of Itachiyama High. There is also a new guy who’s aiming to be the setter on the team, but Oikawa isn’t going to have his position taken away.

With the new start of the semester, Oikawa and Ushijima started taking the cooking classes. Flocked around by tons of girls before the class starts, that want their attention and squeal about how cute they think it is that men want to learn how to cook.

“Ah, I wish my boyfriend would do that,” a girl says, sighing. “It would be so cute.”

“A man that can cook! That’s what I want!” another one shouts.

Oikawa and Ushijima exchange glances, until the door swings open and two girls and a guy storm in. Oikawa recognizes Aoki among them who smiles at them.

“Yohoo, Aoki-chan!” he says, waving.

“I didn’t know you’d be here too.”

“Yeah, Ushiwaka is a horrible cook, so I had to drag him here so he can learn how to cook,” he explains. Aoki raises one of her eyebrows.

“Why don’t you just teach him?”

“Oikawa doesn’t know the difference between leek and scallion,” Ushijima explains.

“Do you?”

“Of course.”

Oikawa pouts. “Well, you don’t even know how to cook rice!”

“Do you?”

Aoki chuckles. “I guess living together is going well then?”

“Yes,” Oikawa replies, “but we always eat at the cafeteria because neither of us can cook. This has to change.”

The girl laughs again. She is really cute and if Oikawa wouldn’t be really attracted to guys, he wouldn’t mind having dated her. He still remembers about a year ago when she confessed to him and had been so nice not to get hurt when he turned her down.

She somehow reminds him of that Refreshing-kun setter from Karasuno with her gentle smile and her silver hair.

“How are you and Saito-san doing?” Oikawa asks.

“I really miss him,” she answers. “But I am happy for him. He’s playing in a professional team. I just hope I will one day too. Long distance relationships are hard.” She sighs and Oikawa hums.

“I couldn’t even imagine having a long distance relationship with Ushiwaka,” he says and then freezes, when he realizes what he just said.

“You’re... a couple?” one of the girls asks and before Oikawa can reply, Ushijima nods.

“Yes.”

There’s a silence, until one girl shouts: “Oh, this is so cute!”

“Well, guess we’re not the only couple then,” Aoki’s friend replies and nudges her boyfriend on the side. “Aren’t you happy you’re not the only guy?”

Her boyfriend grunts as a response. He isn’t really talkative Oikawa later finds out. Or he’s homophobic. The cooking class is really fun, but he notices how he really almost knows nothing about cooking. At least, he doesn’t cut himself, not like that one other guy. The other girls are really nice and Oikawa doesn’t mind cooking anymore.

They even try cooking a whole meal after their first class.

It’s messy and Oikawa already wants to give up because there’s no way he will do the dishes afterwards, but he loves seeing Ushijima like this. In an apron Oikawa has bought them the other day, with his sleeves rolled up and concentrated, staring hard at the pot, so it won’t boil over.

“You know, yo don’t need to stare that hard,” Oikawa teases him.

“It might boil over.”

“Yeah, in five minutes,” Oikawa replies and rolls his eyes. “Do something else and wait.”

Ushijima does as he’s told and tastes the soup with a spoon. “And?” Oikawa asks.

“Something is missing,” Ushijima answers. He wants to taste it for a second time, but Oikawa gets there first. He just slurps from the spoon and smiles, looking up to Ushijima, who stares at him with wide eyes.

“Ouch, Ushiwaka, you should’ve told me it’s so hot. My tongue is burning. Look, you dropped some on your hand.” Oikawa licks over Ushijima’s thumb and then looks up, meeting his gaze.

Ushijima drops the spoon into the bowl. “I’m sorry,” he says. 

“You should kiss it better,” Oikawa tears. Ushijima pulls him closer by his waist, kissing him passionately. Oikawa kisses him back just as eagerly, his arms around Ushijima’s mid. He could get used to this…

“Ushiwaka! The water! It’s boiling over!” he screams and they both jerk away from each other.

“What should we do?”

“Turn it off!”

“There’s water everywhere!”

“I’m not touching that I don’t want to burn myself!” Oikawa shouts.

Ushijima sacrifices himself for them both and turns off the stove and pushes the pot down. Oikawa and him stare at each other and then Oikawa looks at his hand. “Was it hot?”

“Yes.”

“Then cool it, you idiot!” Oikawa grabs his boyfriend’s hand and holds it to the sink under cool water. “New rule: No making out while cooking.”

“Okay,” Ushijima agrees.

Oikawa rolls his eyes and laughs. “I’m not surprised the first time we try to cook alone turned into a mess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song: hero - enrique iglesias


	31. it's not just gonna happen like that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ushiwaka, I’m a big boy. I can handle things my own. I’m older than you!
> 
> “I know you can, but there’s nothing wrong with being worried about the person you love.”
> 
> Oikawa hides his face in his hands. “You’re being way too sappy again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (EDIT) sorry for not posting the new chapters  
> as you all know i wrote this entire story in like a week ( i know, 80k+ in a week, its crazy)  
> but i am caught up with all the writing i had now and i still havent written more? + i have a job now so i'm really tired and cant get myself to write now :/  
> so yeah u gotta be patient for a while bc most of the time i just think about my other fic i'm working on rn

“Is there such thing as a pre engagement party?”

Oikawa blinks and then shakes his head. “No? Why?”

Mika sighs and looks at her ring. “Suguru and I discussed it. We want to get engaged after college. And then probably marry when he’s finished with his Master or before, we don’t know yet.” 

Oikawa laughs. “I’m invited, right?”

“Unless you do something awful right before,” Mika replies, shrugging. 

“How long have you even been together?”

She tilts her head, thinking. “Give it four more months and it’s been two years.”

Two years. Oikawa doesn’t think he’d already promise himself to someone at age twenty. Sure, it’s not like they’re engaged, but it’s almost the same. Then again, straight couple have it much easier too and he knows that both of their parents get along with them. They apparently especially love Suguru, but almost every adult loves him.

Mika leans in closer. “Your boss is looking over here.” 

“Oh. See you later then.” Oikawa returns to the counter and smiles at his boss. 

“Your friend?” he asks.

“Yes, she’s a friend from college,” Oikawa confirms, polite but distant. He kind of gets the chills from his boss. He has always thought he is a little bit weird- his coworkers agree- but ever since he knows that Oikawa has a boyfriend, he feels like his boss is even creepier.

Constantly following Oikawa with his eyes and only coming to the shop when Oikawa has his shifts, or asking him questions all the time. Oikawa doesn’t really want to lose his job, so he politely answers them all, but he feels uneasy. Especially, when his boss sometimes touches him, even if not needed.

He’s also so old. Oikawa doesn’t know _how_ old exactly, but he’s in his late thirties probably.

“Well, that’s great that she’s visiting you at the café, but don’t get distracted at work,” his boss tells him.

“I won’t, Maeda-san. Sorry,” Oikawa assures him.

“You can go in the back and wash the dishes.”

Oikawa nods and disappears to the back. He finally lets out a breather, he’s glad he’s not in the shop anymore where his boss is. He hums, starting to wash the dishes, when his boss comes in.

“It’s quiet today,” Maeda says.

Oikawa nods, trying not to say more than necessary.

“By the way, is it good between you and your boyfriend again?”

Oikawa hesitates and looks up. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, you know, that phone call I overheard the other day,” Maeda explains, smiling. “You were seemed to be frustrated, because you barely see each other. And don’t have time for sex.”

Okay. This is totally inappropriate. Oikawa clears his throat. “Maeda-san, I don’t know how that is any of your business.”

His boss just laughs, putting his ugly hand on Oikawa’s shoulder. “Ah, come on. We’re all casual and friends here, you can tell me anything.” He winks at him and Oikawa wants to throw up, but luckily one of his co workers storms in.

“Hey, there’s suddenly a big group of students coming in, I need some help here!”

“Of course,” Oikawa says quickly and drops the sponge before leaving. Thank god. Mika stays the whole time, he doesn’t even know what she wants her, but when she orders another coffee, she asks him when he gets off.

“In thirty minutes,” he replies.

“Then let’s go back together.”

So, she stays for thirty more minutes. Right when Oikawa can leave, he takes his jacket and bag. “I’m off now,” he tells his coworkers. “Thank you for your hard work!”

“Oh, wait Oikawa,” his boss shouts after him.

Oh no, please _god_. Oikawa stiffens and turns around, a fake smile on his lips. “Yes, Maeda-san?”

“We have some leftover cake if you want.”

Oikawa debates whether or not to take it, but in the end he shakes his head. “Oh no, sorry. I’m on a diet.”

“How about your boyfriend?”

“He’s on a diet too.”

“Come on, Oikawa, I insist. It’d go to waste otherwise.” His boss smiles at him with his ugly creepy smile and Oikawa is internally screaming.

“I really appreciate it, but I have to decline this time.”

“This time?” Maeda raises an eyebrow and grins. “Oh, so next time I expect a ‘yes’.”

Fuck. Oikawa notices how close his boss is now and he turns to the side. “Er, I have to go now. My friend is waiting for me.”

“Maybe she wants the cake?” He’s touching his butt. Oikawa widens his eyes when he realizes it. Oh my god, what is he supposed to do, he doesn’t want to lose his job-

“Excuse me, boss-san, but I don’t think touching your employers butt is appropriate. That’s kind of sexual harassment,” Mika chirps. 

Maeda pulls back his hand. “How did you get in here?”

“I walked in, because he took so long. Good thing I did.” She takes Oikawa’s hand. “Goodbye!” She drags him out the shop. “What the hell was that?”

“Oh my god, Mika-chan, you just saved me!” Oikawa shouts and hugs her.

“Is he always this?”

“No. Yes. I mean, he’s always been creepy, asking me stuff and touching me… But not my butt.” He shakes his head. “I can’t believe that ugly old man touched my butt. I’m way too good for that!”

“Oikawa, you need to quit the job,” Mika says, as they walk to the closest railway station. “Have you ever told anyone?”

“No.”

“You should tell Ushiwaka.”

“He’d just worry unnecessarily!”

“And?”

“I don’t want that?”

Mika sighs. “You know, that’s part of being in a relationship. Nothing wrong with making your partner worry for you. Don’t need to swallow your pride.”

* * *

  


So Oikawa tells him one evening.

It’s Ushijima’s turn to make the bentos for the next day and Oikawa sits at the kitchen table watching him, when he tells him.

Ushijima stops and turns around. “You have to quit the job.” At least, he doesn’t complain about the fact that it took Oikawa so long to tell him.

“I can’t!” Oikawa says. “I _need_ the job. We just bought a bed! I don’t just have money without having to work like you.”

Ushijima sits down across from him. “There are things more important than money. There are other jobs.”

“I know, Ushiwaka, but it’s hard to find a job. You remember how long it took me to find a job I like? The café is nice and I like my co-workers. And I have flexible shifts and the pay is good, which is rare for a crappy job for students!” Oikawa explains. “It’s impossible to find a better job than this.”

“Tooru.” Ushijima takes his hand, his grip firm and his eyes staring directly into Oikawa’s. “You have to quit the job.”

“This feels like some sort of hypnotizing technique,” Oikawa jokes.

“I’m serious. I will help you find another job,” Ushijima says. “If you want, we can go search for one together.”

Oikawa sighs and looks down. “I know, Wakatoshi. But it’s… I don’t need your help.”

“I-”

“I wasn’t finished. I have my pride, okay? And I know there’s nothing wrong with letting you help me. I am glad for it.” Oikawa smiles and squeezes Ushijima’s hand. “But I don’t want to have a job with _you_.”

“What is wrong about that?”

“Come on, Ushiwaka. My job was the only thing I don’t have with you. We live together, have classes together, are on the same volleyball team, have the same friends. I mean, we’re constantly _around_ each other,” Oikawa explains. “I don’t want to rely on you so much.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Oikawa sighs and sits up a little bit to kiss his boyfriend. “Yes, there is.”

Ushijima furrows his brows. “But you will quit your job?”

Oikawa looks down. “Well, I have to work there until the end of the month because, you know, I still want my paycheck-”

“You will still work there? He _touched_ your butt.”

“Ushiwaka, I want my money, which I worked for! Can’t just suddenly quit!”

“Yes, you can.”

“No, I can’t. It’s not that easy.”

“You can sue him for sexual harassment.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.” Oikawa hesitates. “Does it?”

“How many more shifts do you have?” Ushijima asks. Oikawa thinks for a while.

“Four.”

“How many days can you still take off?”

Oikawa widens his eyes. “Four. Ushiwaka, you’re a _genius_.”

“I’m glad.” Ushijima smiles. “If you want, I will accompany you when you quit your job.”

“What did I just say? I can do things myself,” Oikawa repeats.

“I know, but I…”

“You’re worried.” Oikawa groans, leaning back in his chair. “Ushiwaka, I’m a big boy. I can handle things my own. I’m _older_ than you!

“I know you can, but there’s nothing wrong with being worried about the person you love.”

Oikawa hides his face in his hands. “You’re being way too sappy again. Ugh, okay. You can come with me. But don’t say a word, okay? I can handle this myself.”

* * *

  


“You can’t just quit,” his boss tells him.

“I’m sorry, but I can. I read the contract, I’m not stupid.”

“Aw, don’t be like this. Is it because of the other day?” Maeda tilts his head, looking at him. He probably doesn’t expect Oikawa to be this frank.

“Yes, it was.”

“Oikawa-san, I was just being nice.”

“A little bit too nice. Listen, I’m done with being nice and polite. I quit.” Oikawa say with a firm voice. “And don’t ever think about touching mine or any other guy’s butt again. Or, well, girls if you swing that way.”

Maeda’s face turns red. “Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?”

Oikawa smiles. “Oikawa Tooru, star setter and-”

“You’re a real tease, Oikawa. Always watching me with those big brown eyes of yours and now you’re telling me you don’t want this?” When the hell has Oikawa ever watched him like that?!

“He said, he doesn’t want it.” Ushijima suddenly says. Oikawa turns around.

“Ushiwaka, I told you to sit and wait!”

“It took too long. I’m sorry.”

“ _Ushiwaka_ … Is that your boyfriend?” His boss seems to be surprised by Ushijima’s appearance and Oikawa can’t blame him. He is tall and got even broader and more muscular during college now. 

It doesn’t take too long, until Oikawa can leave.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have stepped in. I know you can handle yourself,” Ushijima apologizes. Oikawa looks at him and then sighs.

“It’s okay. I’m just glad this is over with.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No, Ushiwaka. You think I get angry about everything?” Oikawa takes his hand and squeezes it. “I think in the end I was glad you were there. Thank you.”

Maybe a few months ago, he would’ve been pissed off. But now he isn’t, he has changed.

Ushijima smiles. “Anything for you.”

* * *

  


“You can work where me and Kenma work,” Kuroo suggests, when Oikawa complains about having to find a new job during lunch. “It’s not a bad place, is it?”

Kenma looks up from his food. “No, it isn’t.”

“Sorry, Kuroo, but I don’t want to work at a konbini. And their uniforms are _ugly_. I’d look horrible!”

“That’s your main problem?” Bokuto asks, laughing.

“Please, Bokuto, you don’t even have a job,” Oikawa says. “Plus, you wear those ugly  _knee pads_. You have no sense of fashion.”

Bokuto stares at him. “I don’t want to hear from _you_ that I don’t have any fashion sense.”

Mika and Misaki laugh and Oikawa pouts. “You’re mean.”

“Oikawa, do you still have that business card?” Misaki suddenly asks.

“What business card?”

“You told us this woman was asking you if you want to become a model for her agency,” she says. “Maybe you could do that. Modeling sounds nice and I think it would fit you.”

“There’s a reason I declined it in the first place, Misa-chan.”

“Really? What?” Mika says.

“It- It just sounds exhausting!”

“Ohoho, is the Grand King scared?” Kuroo asks, grinning.

“Ah, that’s the reason! You’re shy!” Bokuto shouts.

“No, that’s not it!”

“Then why aren’t you doing it?” Mika asks, tilting her head.

“It’s not that easy. Plus, it’s been months. They don’t want me anymore, I think.”

“Since when does Oikawa think somebody doesn’t want them?” Kuroo asks. “Well, except for that very long and frustrating time you were convinced Ushiwaka doesn’t want you.”

“And in the end, he did,” Misaki agrees. “You should call her.”

“I-”

“I think it is a good idea,” Ushijima agrees, talking for the first time in the conversation.

“See? I bet Kenma agrees too, right?”

Kenma nods. “It fits you.”

“Ah, Kozume-chan, you’re way too sweet! I’m flattered!” Oikawa shouts and Kenma looks down at his food again. 

“You have nothing to lose, Oikawa,” Misaki says, smiling. “Just call them.”

So he does later that day and the woman agrees on a meeting.

* * *

  


When Oikawa gets back from his meeting, Ushijima is on the phone. He sits down patiently on their couch and waits for Ushijima, because he’s bursting to talk to him. Sadly, it takes a long while and Oikawa is getting tired of this, so he goes into the kitchen and makes himself a drink.

Ushijima usually never has phone calls. They’re usually volleyball related and they’re never this long. He settles back down on the couch and texts his friends, including Iwaizumi, how it went. When Ushijima is finally finished, ten minutes have already passed.

“Took you long enough, Ushiwaka!” Oikawa complains and pulls him down on the couch. “I was going to tell you about how it went!”

“How did it go?”

Oikawa tells him everything and how he’s going they even already took some test pictures of him and how he has to be there again next week, because they want to take some pictures for his portfolio. He talks for almost fifteen minutes straight, while Ushijima listens to him and nods, until there’s nothing more to tell.

“I am glad you seem to like it.”

“Well, the camera loves me!” Oikawa says, grinning. “It captures my beauty! Anyway, who were you on the phone with? You usually never talk that long.”

“That was my father.”

Ushijima’s father, who is currently living overseas in America. “Oh. What did he… Is there a reason he called or…?”

“Yes. He’s remarrying this summer,” Ushijima replies.

“Remarrying?!” Oikawa shouts. 

“Yes. His girlfriend of two years. She’s American.”

“Have you ever met her?”

Ushijima nods. “She was there too when my father visited Japan to be there at my graduation. She is young, but she is a good woman and I think she makes my father happy. My English isn’t well enough to understand all of what she says, though.”

Oikawa smiles. “Wow, you’re getting a new step mom.”

“He invited me to his wedding.”

“In America?” Oikawa whistles. “Wow. Wasn’t the last time you have been there when you were twelve?”

Ushijima nods again. “Yes. And I…”

“Yes?”

“Wanted to ask if you want to accompany me.”

Oikawa blinks. “What?”

“I am allowed to bring a date,” Ushijima explains.

“You want me… to be your date for your dad’s wedding? In _America_?!”

“If you don’t want to, I can understand.”

Oikawa takes a deep breath. “Do you… are you planning to introduce me as your boyfriend?”

“Of course.”

“You don’t think your dad will be against it?” he asks. 

“No,” Ushijima replies. “And if, then I don’t care anyways. I think he doesn’t want to make the same mistake as his brother.”

Oikawa thinks about their last summer, when he visited Ushijima’s uncle’s farm. “Okay.” He smiles and snuggles closer to his boyfriend. “I will be your date, Ushiwaka. Oh god, I’m excited. I’ve never been out of the country! Or was introduced to my boyfriend’s parent as his boyfriend.” 

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For coming with me. I wouldn’t want to go alone, I barely know anyone, yet alone the language.”

“Of course, Ushiwaka. But you have to promise me to learn how to dance before we go there. You have to give me at least one dance,” Oikawa says, pointing at Ushijima’s chest. “Promise?”

“I promise.” 

Oikawa smiles and leans in to kiss him. “We can learn how to dance together. Another couple activity since we know how to kiss now! Maybe not take dancing classes, though. I think you’d embarrass yourself in front of everyone, since you don’t have any sense of rhythm.” 

Ushijima leans back, as Oikawa lays on top of him, his hands on Ushijima’s chest, looking up and smiling. “I will try not to embarrass myself.”

Oikawa laughs. “Impossible. You have two right feet.” He bumps his nose against Ushijima’s before kissing him again. “This makes me so excited. We could put the couch away so we have more place and then we could use the place to dance! Oh, I’ve always wanted to slow dance with the person I love, it’s romantic, isn’t it, Ushiwaka?”

Ushijima brushes a streak of Oikawa’s hair out of his face. “I’m glad you like the idea of it.”

“Of course I do. I love you, Wakatoshi.” Oikawa rolls his eyes but doesn’t stop smiling, even when Ushijima cups his face and pulls him closer for a long and deep kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (song: gwen stefani- hollaback girl ) (damn was it hard to find a normal line in that song LMAO)
> 
> anywayyy character development oikw right there :'D i mean remember him from ch1...


	32. Would you dance if I asked you to dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I just want to grow old and see my son having children. I want to be a grandmother. I love children, it’s why I became a kindergarten teacher. And you obviously can’t give him any children.“
> 
> Oikawa looks down. “I’m sorry, Ushijima-san.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update!!!  
> i explained in the last chapter why the updates are so short  
> but bc i am planning to update my other hq fic today , i thought "itd be unfair if i dont update this one"

When Ushijima gets home later than Oikawa, he steps into the living room with Oikawa currently pushing the couch away so they’ll have more room.

“I’m home,” Ushijima proclaims.

“Welcome home! Help me out here, Ushiwaka.”

“What are you doing?”

Oikawa grins. “I told you, I want to learn how to dance with you, right?”

Ushijima nods and gives Oikawa a hand. As soon as there’s enough room for them, Oikawa takes out a breath. “I forgot something!”

“What did you forget?”

Oikawa turns to his boyfriend, putting his hands at the back of Ushijima’s neck, goes a little bit on his tip toes and kisses him, smiling. “A welcome home kiss. I feel like newlyweds.”

He grins and Ushijima’s lips curl up into a smile before he kisses Oikawa again. “Okay, I know it was my turn to make dinner, but I just got home too, because there was something I didn’t understand so I stayed to get it explained by someone,” Oikawa explains. “I got us take out, though.”

“I’m fine with anything,” Ushijima replies.

“You’re a liar. You give me lectures about how I don’t have a balanced diet and then talk about proteins and all that.”

“You’re an athlete. You should pay attention to what you eat.”

Oikawa sighs and presses a kiss on Ushijima’s lips again. “Let’s just eat. And then we’ll dance!”

They try and make it their best after dinner. Their room is small and it’s not big enough to really move, but they can at least try. Oikawa puts on some music and gives Ushijima his hand.

“I’m taking the man’s role, because I’m leading. I have to teach you how it’s done,” Oikawa explains and Ushijima just nods and takes his hand. “This is just a very simple Waltz. Pay attention, will you, Ushiwaka? And please, don’t step on my feet.”

“Okay.”

It takes a while until Ushijima gets the gist. It’s awkward at first, Ushijima looks down at their feet all the time, but Oikawa thinks it’s cute. There are a lot of things about Ushijima he thinks are cute. He would ask himself why he used to hate him, but to be honest, he knows why.

Back then, he has never seen this side of Ushijima. The human side, how nice and gentle he is and how cute he is sometimes because of how dense he is. Or, how he can say really sappy things with a straight face and make Oikawa blush.

When Ushijima finally gets it, they move around in a circle, dancing to the music.

“Do you think you can spin me around?” Oikawa asks.

“We can try.”

And Ushijima does. He spins Oikawa and he lands in his arms again, this time closer to each other. Their faces are only a few inches apart, Ushijima’s arm now around Oikawa’s waist.

“Do you think it would be weird if we dance at the wedding?” Oikawa asks.

“No.”

Oikawa rolls his eyes. “Ushiwaka, we’re two guys.”

“I don’t care. I want to dance with you.” Ushijima leans his forehead against Oikawa’s, whose lips curl up into a smile.

He brings his hands up, puts them on Ushijima’s shoulders and then around his neck. “We should totally get matching ties! In a light blue color!”

It’s more than a month until the wedding, but Oikawa is excited and nervous.

“Tooru,” Ushijima says. “I want to tell my father about you, so he knows it.”

Oikawa swallows. “But… what if he’s against it? And then he tells you not to bring me? I don’t want that, Wakatoshi. Do you really think it’s a good idea to come out to your parents? Old people are very-”

“Yes.” Ushijima voice when he answers is firm. “I am sure. I knew I wanted to introduce you to my parents since I realized I liked you.”

Back in his first year of High School.

Oikawa’s heart beats faster and he lays his head on Ushijima’s shoulder, putting his arms around his waist now. They’ve stopped dancing by now. “You always say these things,” he complains. “We’ve been dating for months now! And I’m still so embarrassed by your words, Ushiwaka, it’s a talent of yours. Shut up.”

Ushijima distances himself from Oikawa a little bit, just so he can tilt his head up and kiss him. “You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

“Come on, you would be too, if I said such things.”

Ushijima gives him a weak smile. “I want to introduce you to my mother first.”

“I already know her.”

“As my boyfriend.”

Oikawa takes a deep breath. This is really a big step. He looks up and into Ushijima’s eyes and nods slowly. “But don’t expect me to introduce you to my family, okay?”

“Of course not.”

“It’s just- I don’t know what they’ll say.” He groans and grips into Ushijima’s shirt, lowering his head. Ushijima places a kiss on the top of Oikawa’s head.

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“I’m sorry, Wakatoshi. I love you-”

“That’s enough for me.”

Oikawa nods and smiles weakly. “Okay, but now let’s get back to dancing!”

* * *

  


“I’m nervous, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa confesses.

“I know.”

“What if she hates me?”

“She already knows you. And no, don’t wear that shirt.”

Oikawa sighs and puts the shirt down he is showing his best friend right now. “This one?”

“Better.” Iwaizumi nods in agreement. “It’ll turn out fine. And if not… then who cares?”

“I care! She’s Ushiwaka’s mother!” Oikawa shouts. “She… She is his closest family member! She’s important to him, so she’s important to me.”

Iwaizumi raises his eyebrows. “Damn. You sure have changed your attitude a lot in a year.”

Oikawa sighs and takes off the shirt he is wearing right now to put on the other. “I can’t believe it sometimes. I’m in a serious relationship. We moved in together, we live together. I’m going to meet his parents. I’m scared.”

“Of course you’re scared,” his best friend tells him. “That’s a big step. Everyone would be.” He offers Oikawa a smile.

“No, that’s not it. I mean… everything is so perfect right now,” Oikawa explains. “I feel like there’s something out there. It can’t be that perfect! Something is going to ruin it sooner or later, you know, Iwa-chan? No happiness stays for this long!”

Iwaizumi narrows his eyes. “Are you stupid? Oikawa, don’t think about those things!”

“It’s only natural to be scared when something is going too well!”

“No, it’s not!”

“I don’t want to ruin this,” Oikawa whines. “I ruined a lot of things in the past. Especially with Ushiwaka. I don’t want to… I wouldn’t know what to do if I lose him.”

Iwaizumi sighs and stands up, walking to Oikawa and sitting down next to him. “Look, if you already think like this, then you’re not going to ruin it.”

“Who knows-”

“Shut up, you won’t. Stop being so paranoid.” Iwaizumi lets himself fall down the bed. “How many times have I listened to your stupid whining about Ushiwaka now?”

Oikawa laughs and lays down next to him, both looking at the ceiling of Oikawa’s childhood bedroom. “Too many times. But you always give great advice, Iwa-chan! Well, most of the time.”

“Somebody has to.” Oikawa doesn’t have to look to know that his best friend is smiling.

“How about you?” Oikawa asks.

“What about me?”

“Still hearing from Tendou?” He grins and Oikawa groans.

“I think it’s a good thing his college is so far away from mine. He is annoying. He sends me those snaps all the time. He’s just like you, but… _worse_.”

Oikawa laughs. “You don’t sound annoyed.”

“What the- I don’t- Of course I do!” Iwaizumi snaps, but he blushes.

“Aw, come on, he just likes you. You could block him on snapchat or his number if you’re _really_ annoyed,” Oikawa points out and Iwaizumi doesn’t reply.

“He has a good taste in mangas.” Oikawa bursts out in laughter. “I’m serious! He lent me his JUMP Mangas during the holidays.”

“You can just admit it, Iwa-chan. Nothing wrong about that. I am in love with my worst enemy, it’s not like this is some grand news.”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, laughing and sits up. “Get dressed before you’re getting too late to the meeting.”

* * *

  


Ushijima calls Oikawa before his meeting with his mother.

“I told her that you’re my boyfriend.”

Oikawa takes a deep breath. “What did she say?”

“She said she wants to meet you and talk to you.”

Oikawa is nervous. What exactly does she want to talk about? Ushijima-san is a good woman, she’s a kindergarten teacher, who loves her son and their two dogs. Her personality is different from her son’s, but Ushijima once told Oikawa that he’s more like his father.

She loves children. She probably is disappointed that her son won’t have his own children. Ushijima would probably be a good father. Oikawa pats his cheek. No, now is not the time to doubt himself!

Ushijima loves him. Has for years. Loves him so much that he’s introducing him to his parents, that’s all what matters now. When he arrives at their house, he rings the bell and waits.

Ushijima opens the door for him and Oikawa smiles.

“I’m glad you made it.” Ushijima opens the door to let him in.

“Of course, Ushiwaka.” He takes off his shoes. They exchange a few words, until Ushijima leads him to the living room. His mother looks up, when Oikawa enters. She’s sitting at the table on the floor already and Oikawa’s heart is racing faster.

He bows in front of her. “Thank you for having me, Ushijima-san.”

“Sit down, Oikawa-san.”

Oikawa nods slowly and sits down next to the woman. It’s not his first time talking to her, he has met her several times already. But this is different. 

“Drink some tea.” She pours him in tea and Oikawa thanks her, bowing his head.

Then, she sighs. “Wakatoshi, would you please leave us two alone?”

“I don’t see how this is necessary,” Ushijima replies.

His mother raises an eyebrow. “I want to talk to your boyfriend alone.”

“Mother-”

“It’s okay, Wakatoshi,” Oikawa assures him. Ushijima nods slowly, squeezes Oikawa’s hand under the table and kisses his cheek before getting up.

“Let me know when your talk is finished. Please be civil.” He walks out of the room, leaving the two alone.

Ushijima’s mother drinks his tea. “You know, his father and I divorced when he was really young,” she explains. “They were really close, they’re also much alike. He moved to America when Wakatoshi was still young.”

Oikawa nods. “Yes, I know.”

His mother takes a deep breath. “Maybe it’s because of the lack of a father figure my son turned out gay.” She doesn’t sound angry or as if she has meant it in a negative way, so Oikawa isn’t sure what to say. “When he told me, I was surprised. I shouldn’t be surprised. It makes sense.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how do you mean that, Ushijima-san?”

The woman laughs. “He’s always been fond of you, Oikawa-san. I know my son well, or at least I thought I did. He sometimes talked about you back in High School. I should have sensed it when I saw that you two are now apparently friends.”

Ushijima has told his mother about him in High School. That is somehow… _cute_. “Yes, college changed the way I think about him.”

“ _Obviously_. You haven’t even drank your tea!” 

Oikawa drinks and smiles. “It tastes good.”

“Anyway, I’m… I don’t know what to think. I want grandchildren. It has always only been Wakatoshi and me. When I saw how lonely he was sometimes, even if he didn’t admit it, I got him the dogs. They love him a lot,” she says. “And when he moved out… It’s just me, you know, Oikawa-san?

It’s lonely. I just want to grow old and see my son having children. I want to be a grandmother. I love children, it’s why I became a kindergarten teacher. And _you_ obviously can’t give him any children.“

Oikawa looks down. “I’m sorry, Ushijima-san.”

“What about you, Oikawa-san? Do you want children?”

Oikawa blinks. “I never thought about it. I’m still young, not even twenty!” He shrugs and smiles.

“Wakatoshi likes children, did you know? He sometimes was over at the kindergarten to visit me. The children used to be scared of him because he is so big and, well, kind of scary. He’s not good at socializing, but he tries. And they slowly warmed up to him.

“It was beautiful to see, you know? How my son behaved around those children. It made me so happy, thinking about how one day there’ll be other little children who will be his and they’ll be my grandchildren.“

Oikawa’s mouth feels dry and he takes another sip. “I am sure he’d make a great father.” Ushijima with children. It’s a nice thought. “I like children too. My sister has a son and I used to look after him a lot. I still do sometimes, when I’m here.”

Ushijima’s mother stares at him before pouring herself more tea, shaking her head. “Well, neither of you will ever have any.”

It hurts and Oikawa takes a deep breathe. “If Ushi- Wakatoshi wants children, I understand. If he chooses to be with a woman who can give him that… I… I think I’d have to accept that because I want him to be happy.” He has never thought about it this way. “But…”

“But?”

“He chose to be with me. And I think I can make him happy, because he makes me happy. Ushijima-san, with all due respect, I won’t leave him until he tells me he doesn’t want me. I want to stay by his side.”

“You used to _hate_ him.”

Oikawa chuckles. “I don’t know either. It’s… it’s been a year since we’ve been friends, Ushiwaka and me. And I learned so much about him in that one year. You’re right, he’s horrible at socializing. And he’s really dense. And god, he doesn’t take a hint sometimes-” He has to stop himself from rambling and takes a deep breath.

“But your son is… he’s nice and gentle. He has so much patience for me and god knows you have to have patience if you want to be with me. And he… he used to be so stoic, but in the past year I’ve seen him smile more often than frown. Or laugh.” 

He thinks about it, how carefree Ushijima is now. How he almost doesn’t stop smiling when they’re together alone, cuddled up in their bed, talking. And Oikawa can’t help but smile too. 

“You must really love him then, Oikawa-san.”

“Yes. I do.”

Ushijima’s mother smiles. She has the same dimple as her son. “Good. You’re right. I’ve never seen him this happy and he’s happy with you. I’m still not… convinced. You have to understand in my time this wasn’t usual. Is it usual now?” She furrows her brows and sighs. “But I want my son to be happy. That is what I’ve always wanted.

Like I said, he used to be so lonely. And now he’s in love and even if the person he loves is a… _man,_ I have to accept that.“

Oikawa widens his eyes, looking up. “Are you saying you’re accepting us, Ushijima-san?”

“Yes. Maybe in the future gay couples can adopt a kid.” She smiles and Oikawa does too, bowing his head again now.

“Thank you so much, Ushijima-san!”

“There’s one question I have though.”

“Of course.”

“You’re a very handsome young man, I heard you’re even a model. You’re a good volleyball player and in college. Shouldn’t you be very popular with the girls?” 

Oikawa hesitates, not knowing how to respond. “I am, but I’ve never been interested in women.”

“Well, at least I know you won’t leave my son for a woman. As for Wakatoshi, do you know how he replied when I asked him?”

“How?” He’s curious to know her answer.

“He told me that he has never been attracted to anyone in his life but you.”

Oikawa’s cheeks heat up upon hearing this. “Stupid, Ushiwaka,” he murmurs, but it’s still loud enough for Ushijima’s mother to hear. She laughs. 

“Wakatoshi, you can come out.”

The door opens and Oikawa looks up. “Were you eavesdropping?!”

Ushijima seems to be flustered by the question. “I… I was worried.”

“You two go walk the dogs,” his mother tells him.

Oikawa gets up and bows in front of her again. “Thank you so much, Ushijima-san.”

“I will leave my son in your care. Don’t break his heart, Oikawa-san.”

“I won’t.”

* * *

  


They’re walking in silence next to each other. Oikawa is holding the leash for Ryo, Ushijima for Kyo. “This went better than I thought it would,” Oikawa tells him after a while, trying to sound carefree again, but he’s still tense.

They arrive at a dog park where they’re allowed to let the dogs off their leash. They do that and sit down on a bench. “Thank you,” Ushijima says.

“What are you thanking me for?”

“I heard it all, you know.”

“Oh god.” Oikawa blushes. “It’s rude to eavesdrop, you know? And it’s no big deal. I was just… talking to your mother.”

“It made me very happy to hear.” Ushijima takes his hand and Oikawa looks away, but he entwines their fingers together. 

“Don’t mention it.”

“I love you.”

Oikawa looks up and squeezes Ushijima’s hand. “I know.” They smile at each other and he leans against Ushijima. “So, you’re good with children?”

“It took them a long while until they weren’t scared of me anymore.”

Oikawa laughs. “I can imagine! Children love me! Well…” Oikawa stops. “Maybe not, but…” He sighs. “I’m just glad your mother accepted us. I don’t think my parents would.”

“Why?”

“Well, sometimes… You see those things on TV and then my parents made some comments. Not really overly rude, but… they expressed their discomfort with it,” Oikawa explains. “I hated it. Listening to them and pretending I’m straight. _Me,_  straight!”  He rolls his eyes and laughs. “I don’t want them to hate me because of it. Or abandon me.”

“You’ll always have me.”

“I know.” Oikawa smiles. Maybe one day he can tell his parents too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very heavily implied iwaten,,, i sitll dont kno what to think abt this ship but i dig it ye
> 
> this is the most OBVIOUS lyrics i ever chose for a chapter title  
> (hero- enrique iglesias)


	33. I'm a natural, I'm the real deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mmh. Sometimes the worst things happen out of spite,” Oikawa explains, his finger on Ushijima’s chin, lifting his head up. “Does Semi still have that weird hair even as a model?”
> 
> “If you’re talking about his dyed tips, then yes.”
> 
> “I hate his hair.” Oikawa has always despited the other setter. First of all, they were the same age. Then came that he was the setter of his rival team, Shiratorizawa and always won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look who is back

“No. No way.”

“Oikawa-”

Oikawa gets up from his stool to get himself something to drink. Right before he can pour himself something, he decides against it and instead takes some milk bread. He deserves his favorite food after what he had just heard.

“No way in hell will I ever let someone from Shiratorizawa in our home!”

“We let Tendou in,” Ushijima points out. “And you invited Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa already too.”

“Okay, but I didn’t let _my_ friends sleep here!” Oikawa shouts. “It’s- there’s a difference. And you know what? Even though I used to hate Tendou the most right after you, I’d rather let him crash here than that other guy!”

“Semi is a good friend.”

“If he’s a good friend, he will understand that your boyfriend doesn’t like him,” Oikawa replies. “Plus, he can afford a hotel, can’t he?”

“It would be cheaper if he can stay here for just one night.”

Oikawa winces. “Does he have to?”

“No, he doesn’t. I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” Ushijima says.

Oikawa groans. “Okay, now you’re making me feel bad and immature! Fine, he can stay here. One night. Can he cook?”

Ushijima blinks. “Yes, he can. Why?”

“He’ll make us breakfast.” Oikawa eats the rest of his milk bread. “While he’s at it, he can also vacuum the flat.” Ushijima raises an eyebrow and Oikawa sighs. “Fine. But he should still make breakfast.”

“He’s a guest.”

“A good guest would offer to make breakfast.” Oikawa sighs. “Okay, fine. No breakfast. I just hope I’ll never have to do a job with him. Imagine: Me having to model with Semi Eita. No, that guy is horrible. He’s my setter nemesis. He and that other guy, what was his name again?”

“Shirabu.”

“Exactly, that kid that’s so obsessed with you.” Oikawa shudders at the thought. “But the universe hates me and set me up on the same college like you and even in the same dorm, so it means I’ll probably have to model with Semi too some day, right?”

“The universe hates you?” Ushijima repeats. Oikawa smirks, walks towards his boyfriend and sits down on his lap, straddling him.

“Yes. The universes hates me so much it sent me you to love.” Oikawa kisses him and Ushijima kisses him back, his hands on Oikawa’s ass.

“That bad?”

“Mmh. Sometimes the worst things happen out of spite,” Oikawa explains, his finger on Ushijima’s chin, lifting his head up. “Does Semi still have that weird hair even as a model?”

“If you’re talking about his dyed tips, then yes.”

“I hate his hair.” Oikawa has always despited the other setter. First of all, they were the same age. Then came that he was the setter of his rival team, Shiratorizawa and always won. Even though he wasn’t in the start up and lost his position to a kouhai, he was still a strong pinch server.

And on top of that, he was really handsome too with his stupid pretty hair and face. And now he wants to stay over for a night because he has a photo shoot in Tokyo.

“There can only be one pretty setter. Why does he have to be a model too?” Oikawa huffs. “I’m the better looking one, right?”

“You know the answer.”

“I still like hearing it.” He smiles and Ushijima kisses his nose, his cheeks and then his lips.

“You’re the most beautiful setter.”

“Please say that in front of Semi too, Wakatoshi,” Oikawa jokes.

* * *

  


  
Okay, in the end Semi did make breakfast for them and it tasted absolutely delicious. That guy can cook. But that doesn’t change the fact, that Oikawa dislikes him. And he knows for a fact, that Semi dislikes him too.

On top of that, does he have to stay?! He has the whole day off, so Semi decided to stay the day in Tokyo and spend it with Ushijima.

Oikawa doesn’t want to be the immature guy who holds grudges for way too long, so he can’t help but have to accept Semi. They’ve already agreed to meet up with the others at the cafeteria, which doesn’t happen that often like last year anymore, since Kuroo, Oikawa and Ushijima now have their own place.

When they arrive with Semi too, Bokuto is sitting at the table between Mika and Kuroo, face down on it.

“What’s with him?” Semi asks.

Bokuto looks up, his eyes are red and swollen, his nose is running. “Who is this?”

Oikawa sits down across from him next to Misaki. “What happened?”

“Oh god, no,” Mika murmurs. “He _just_ stopped crying.”

Bokuto puts his face in his sleeves and Kuroo lets out a cry. “Bro, don’t use your jacket to- God. Come, Bokuto, here’s a tissue.”

Ushijima and Semi sit down next to them and Oikawa looks at him. “What…”

“Akaashi broke up with me!” Bokuto shouts and then he starts sobbing again. “Fuck, I _just_ stopped crying.”

“You’re causing a scene,” Misaki says.

“Misaki-san, my heart is broken!”

“I know. I’m sorry, it’s just…”

Yes, she is right. Everyone around them is looking at that one guy with the black and white hair who is crying over his lunch.

“It’s okay. I’m fine. Who is this guest? Wait, you’re that Semi guy, right?”

Semi nods reluctantly and looks over to Ushijima, uneasy. “Yes, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you, er…”

“Bokuto.” Bokuto puts his hand on Kuroo’s shoulder. “He looks like Akaashi, doesn’t he?”

“Well… uh, I guess?” Kuroo replies.

“Yeah, he’s pretty. Almost as pretty as Akaashi,” Bokuto agrees. “And he’s a setter. You know who is a setter too? Akaashi.”

“Uh. Thanks,” Semi says.

“Okay, Boktu, calm down. Why did he break up with you?”

“Long distance relationship,” Mika explains. “Never work out.”

“Mika-chan!” Kuroo scolds her.

“I- No, that’s not what I meant. They work out. When the people love each other, anything can work,” she corrects herself. 

“Are you saying we don’t love each other?” Bokuto asks.

Mika opens her mouth, trying to form words. “No, Bokuto-san! You two are made for each other!”

“Why did he break up with me then?”

Oikawa has started eating already. “Okay, what exactly happened now?”

Bokuto whimpers and looks to Kuroo, who gives him a nod. “Okay, I’ll tell you,” Kuroo says. “They had a phone call. And you know how it goes, I miss you, I miss you too. The usual stuff you say when you miss your boyfriend. What I said to Kenma all the time before he moved here-”

“No offense, Kuroo, but he didn’t liveover _three_  hours away,” Misaki says. 

“True. Anyway, Bokuto and Akaashi kind of got into a fight? Somehow?”

“Yes,” Bokuto says, nodding. “It didn’t feel like he’s missing me! He… I’m always the one who calls and a lot of times he’s too busy with his cool new friends in Kyoto and his amazing new college life!”

“He’s in his first year. You were busy too,” Ushijima points out.

“Yes, but I made myself time for Akaashi! Plus, he still lived near and we saw each other like every second week. You know how long it’s been since I’ve last seen Akaashi? Over two months! And it doesn’t make it better that literally everyone of you has a boyfriend or girlfriend!”

“Wait, all of you?” Semi asks and the others just nod, while Kuroo puts his arm around Kenma’s chair. 

“Yes, all of them. And Kuroo and Kenma live together and so do Ushiwaka and Oikawa and Mika always talks about how she’s going to marry Daishou and Misaki can at least see Alisa once a week and I’m just here…” Bokuto lets out a cry.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto, I didn’t know,” Mika apologizes. “I won’t talk about it anymore.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Oikawa clears his throat. “The story still isn’t finished.”

“Oh, right. So, they got into a fight and Akaashi said he has much to do and then things kind of escalated and Akaashi was pissed off because Bokuto thinks he’s not invested enough in their relationship and doesn’t love him enough, so he told Bokuto maybe he’s too clingy and doesn’t trust him. And then…” Kuroo searches for words.

“They broke up,” Kenma concludes.

“Exactly.”

“Wow,” Oikawa says. “That’s a mess. But we’re here for you!”

They spend the rest of the day together. They play volleyball to cheer Bokuto up, including Semi, but then Bokuto hates it too, because he used to play volleyball with Akaashi. They go to a karaoke bar, but apparently every love song reminds him of Akaashi and Oikawa is pissed off at the fact that Semi can sing too.

Is that a Shiratorizawa thing? Do they have some secret singing classes with a miracle teacher? Oikawa is sure Tendou sucks at singing. 

They go out and treat him his favorite food, but it doesn’t help either. Oikawa can’t blame him, he wouldn’t know what to do if he and Ushijima would suddenly break up. He hopes he wouldn’t act like _that_. But Bokuto and Akaashi have been together for so long, over a year now. 

Like everyone else, Oikawa knows how they got together probably in every single detail. Akaashi kissed Bokuto on the day of his graduation, they got together, they were supposed to have a happy ending. Maybe they will get together again. 

Oikawa goes back home alone and Ushijima walks Semi to the train station, saying his goodbyes. When he gets back, Oikawa is already in bed, showered and clothes changed.

Oikawa turns around. “Are you going to bed?”

“I wanted to shower first.”

“Hurry up then.” He watches some volleyball matches on his phone while he waits for Ushijima to be finished. When his boyfriend gets back and sits down next to Oikawa, he closes his phone and sits up. 

“You know,” he begins. “I told you from the beginning I won’t get along with your friends.”

“I know.”

“I still don’t like him,” Oikawa explains. “He’s too much like me.”

“He isn’t anything like you.”

“Okay, but he’s a setter and he’s pretty!” Ushijima laughs and Oikawa pinches him. “Don’t make fun of me, Ushibaka!” He pulls him down so Ushijima is lying on their bed. “The others seem to like him. Except for Bokuto, because apparently he looks too much like Akaashi. I don’t see it.”

Oikawa straddles Ushijima and looks down on him. “I’m only approving of one of your friends and that is Tendou. Probably because he and Iwa-chan are so close. I never thought I’d say it. I used to hate you the most, followed by him.”

Ushijima looks up to Oikawa and strokes his cheek. “I’m glad you changed your mind.”

“I won’t about Semi,” Oikawa says. “Or anyone else. Or especially that other setter of yours.” He takes Ushijima’s hand that’s still on his cheek and puts it next to Ushijima’s head, entwining their fingers.

“I’m fine with that.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa lowers his head to kiss him, long and sweet.  “Are you fine with anything I say?” Oikawa teases him, running his fingers through Ushijima’s dark hair.

“Depends.”

Oikawa whispers into Ushijima’s ears. “Let me fuck you.” Ushijima groans and nods. “What was that?” Oikawa asks, smiling, his index finger trailing over Ushijima’s jawline. 

“Yes,” Ushijima replies. 

Oikawa smiles into their next kiss. He lifts himself up on his knees, letting his hand slide under Ushijima’s shirt. His eyes are closed when he lowers his head on Ushijima’s neck, leaving soft kisses. When he opens his eyes, his gaze meets Ushijima’s and he tugs on his shirt. “Sit up, i want to take this off.”

Ushijima sits up and helps Oikawa to take off his shirt and Oikawa sits back again on Ushijima’s lap. He licks over his lips as his eyes take every inch of Ushijima’s naked upper body in. Ushijima’s hands grab Oikawa’s thighs, sliding up to his hips and under Oikawa’s top. He leans in for a kiss and Oikawa throws his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, pulling him closer and closer. He smells just like his body lotion, the expensive one Oikawa has been using too since they moved in together. 

But it’s on Ushijima, so he still smells different and Oikawa loves his scent. He can feel Ushijima’s half hard cock pressing through his pants and against Oikawa’s pelvis. Oikawa smirks, knowing that just some passionate kisses have made Ushijima like this already. His hands glide back and over Ushijima’s back muscles which Oikawa adores so much.

“I want to take you from behind,” he declares, pressing a kiss on Ushijima’s shoulder. “Because I really like your shoulders.”

Ushijima chuckles. “Yeah?”

“Don’t laugh, you have a thing for my legs, I have a thing for your back. And hands.”

“I like your hands too,” Ushijima replies, taking one of Oikawa’s hands and pressing a kiss into the palm. Oikawa smiles, leaning his forehead against Ushijima. He kisses him hard, biting down on his lover’s lower lip and when he pulls back, he pushes him back against the pillows. 

Oikawa takes off his clothes, strips himself from his top first and then from his shorts and underwear, until he’s completely naked. He can see the hunger in Ushijima’s eyes, the lust to touch him and be touched.

“You want to touch me?” he asks, grinning.

“Yes,” Ushijima says.

Oikawa really loves it, when Ushijima orders him around, when he’s rough, takes what he wants and makes him beg for it. But he also loves being in charge, loves making Ushijima so needy for him, even if he doesn’t do that often. He also doesn’t often top, but today he’s feeling like it. 

“Good. Lay back.” Ushijima does as he’s told, while Oikawa climbs on top of him, crawling over to him. Ushijima seems to know exactly what Oikawa wants him to do. His hands glide from Oikawa’s thighs to his hardened length before leaning in. His tongue trails over Oikawa’s balls, the underside of his cock. 

Oikawa feels his knees almost giving in. He braces his hands on the wall in front of him, closing his eyes as his breathing becomes heavier. “Wakatoshi,” he moans, when Ushijima stops teasing him and takes him in. Not all at once, but with every time he takes in more until Oikawa can feel himself hitting the back of his boyfriend’s throat.

He feels so good, warm and wet around Oikawa’s cock and he has to hold himself back from not bucking his lips, grabbing Ushijima’s head and just thrust into his mouth. He opens his eyes and another moan escapes his lips as he sees Ushijima with his hollowed cheeks and his lips wrapped around him.

He doesn’t want to come, not yet and even though Oikawa really wants to, really wants to just come right now in Ushijima’s mouth, he tugs at his hair and pulls him back. “Fuck,” he groans, lowers himself down and kisses him, licking hungrily into Ushijima’s motuh.

He gets off from Ushijima and gets the lube. “Turn around,” Oikawa orders him and Ushijima does. “Put the pillow under you.” 

Meanwhile, Oikawa squeezes the lube onto his fingers, rubbing them so they’ll warm up. Oikawa hovers over Ushijima, places a kiss on the back of his neck. “You okay?”

Ushijima turns his head so he can meet Oikawa’s gaze and nods slowly, before spreading his legs more. Oikawa smirks and kisses him, pressing the first finger into Ushijima, who groans into the kiss. They take it slowly, Oikawa kisses him, his body, touches him with his free hand, roaming it over the nice back muscles and leaves kiss marks on Ushijima’s tan skin, as he prepares him, opens him up slowly and adding more fingers.

“With condom or without?” Oikawa asks.

Ushijima thinks about it. “We just showered.”

“We can shower again,” Oikawa jokes and grabs for the condoms, but Ushijima stops him.

“Okay.”

Oikawa licks his lips and spreads more lube on his cock. He’s already so painfully hard, and when he finally sinks into Ushijima, he lets out a deep growl. He has to stop at first, once he’s all in, grabbing Ushijima’s hips. He’s so tight and warm around him and Oikawa rests his forehead against Ushijima’s shoulder.

“You okay?” he asks, carefully.

“Yes, Tooru,” Ushijima breathes, “you can move.”

Oikawa hums and kisses his cheek before he starts moving. Slowly at first, before picking up a quicker pace. He settles into a rhythm soon, thrusting into Ushijima and he loves the sound his boyfriend makes under him, loves how Ushijima’s body moves under Oikawa’s touches as thrusts. Oikawa moans, whispering Ushijima’s name, praising him.

It’s usually the other way round, but sometimes once in a while he feels like he should praise him too. Ushijima moans into the pillow, when Oikawa finds the perfect angle, and he grabs into the sheets, knuckles turning white. Oikawa knows Ushijima is close, lowers himself and breathes against Ushijima’s ear. “Touch yourself for me, Wakatoshi,” he orders him and Ushijima does. 

He groans and Oikawa can feel him tighten around Oikawa, making him moan in response. “Fuck,” he groans. “You’re so good, Wakatoshi.”

Ushijima grunts and Oikawa yanks his head up, kisses him passionately. Ushijima bites his lips, he’s rougher than usual. Oikawa’s lip starts bleeding, their kiss is mixed with blood, but he comes right then and he’s too surprised at it himself. Soon, Ushijima comes too, and when Oikawa pulls out, Ushijima quickly turns around.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his thumb under Oikawa’s chin, examing his bruised lip. “I didn’t mean to bite you. I-” His cheeks are flushed and Oikawa laughs.

“It’s okay.”

“You’re bleeding.”

“It was hot,” Oikawa says. “Why do you think I came right then?”

Ushijima raises his eyebrows. “We still have to clean it up.”

“We also have to clean you up,” Oikawa adds and Ushijima lies back.

“I... need to rest first.”

Oikawa laughs and plays with Ushijima’s dark hair. “Okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (song: too cool- camp rock) (this is so funny it fits perfectly kjfnsjkdfndkf)  
> ____  
> sorry bokuto
> 
> also i love semi so much i even changed my url on tumblr to @[semiseitas](semiseaitas.tumblr.com) so u can hmu  
> model!semi is my fav hc hes imo the prettiest hq character but i might just be biased
> 
> completely unrelated but also... boy have u seen miya atsumu hes so my type


	34. Take my hand, take my whole life too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I never would’ve thought you’d ever love me back, but you do. And you’re making me the happiest man alive.”
> 
> Oikawa blinks and then he realizes he has tears in his eyes. “Stupid Ushiwaka,” he grumbles, “making me cry with such sappy words. I- I can’t even compete with this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM FINALLY BACK  
> TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY AT WORK SO HERE HAVE A LONG ASS CHAPTER ("long ass" i say, its onls 3.3k, but longer than the others)

Oikawa has probably taken hundreds of pictures today, not to mention all the videos he has taken too. He films almost everything with his phone at the airport. He has never been abroad, so this is all really exciting for him.

Especially because it’s America. He only knows this Western country from the things he saw on TV. Ushijima on the other hand has been quiet the whole time. Their friends have been here to say goodbye too. Bokuto is still not the one he used to be, not as energetic and loud anymore, but he’s getting better, if only slowly. Even Daishou is here, but that’s because he and Mika are meeting afterwards.

In the plane Oikawa takes plenty of selfies and videos to send his friends and he groans when they tell them to turn off all the electronic devices. When he does it, he turns to Ushijima.

“Ushiwaka, you’ve been awfully quiet!”

“I don’t see how I’m different from usual.”

“You’re nervous too, right?” Ushijima’s father is going to pick them up from the airport and Oikawa doesn’t know what to expect. He’s a lot like Ushijima apparently and he also knows already that Oikawa is more than just a friend. “I mean, he kind of already accepted us, but what if he hates me?”

“That’s not it.”

Ushijima grabs into the leather of the armrest, so much that his knuckles are turning white. Oikawa furrows his brows, watches how tense Ushijima is, his gaze straight. He’s not even looking at Oikawa and...

“Ushiwaka?” Oikawa whispers. “Are you... are you afraid of heights?”

“Not heights,” Ushijima admits after some time. “Just... planes.”

“I thought this isn’t the first time you’re flying.”

“It’s not.”

Oikawa sighs. “You could’ve told me. How did you do it before?”

“I endured it,” Ushijima answers. “I know it’s illogical to be afraid to be flying. It’s a safer method to travel than-”

“Shut up,” Oikawa interrupts him, his voice softer than his words. “You endured it, but I’m here now.” He takes his boyfriend’s hands, totally ignoring how the man sitting next to Ushijima is looking at them with disgst. Oikawa doesn’t care if that man isn’t comfortable with a gay couple, right now he just wants to be here for his boyfriend. “Okay?”

Ushijima nods and smiles. “Thank you.”

The flight is almost eleven hours long and Ushijima gets calmer over the time. Oikawa stills asks him every now and then if he’s okay or holds his hand under their blankets, gently stroking Ushijima’s hand with his thumb and giving him a light smile. During some turbulences, he has to calm him down. It’s unusual to see him like this; fragile, shaking and so pale.

When the plane finally lands and they’re outside, Ushijima breathes out, closes his eyes and presses the heel of his hands against his eyes.

“Hey, we made it,” Oikawa says. “In the beautiful land of America!”

“Thank you,” Ushijima says when Oikawa takes off his hand and gives him a kiss on his forehead.

“Geez, no need to thank me, Ushiwaka.” Oikawa grins. “Come on, we have to get our luggage.”

* * *

  


Ushijima’s father really looks a lot like him. They have the same broad shoulders and jaw, the same big hands and dark short hair in a very boring haircut. He is a nice man and greeted them with a smile on his lips. It was less tense than with Ushijima’s mother, even though Oikawa already knew her before they came out to her.

Maybe that is the reason why. But Ushijima’s father doesn’t seem to have any problems with him dating another man, and if he does, he isn’t showing it.

The wedding is supposed to be the day after tomorrow and Ushijima’s soon to be stepmother is too busy with the last wedding preparations that she isn’t able to pick them up at the airport. However, another little girl is there in her stead. She’s maybe thirteen years old, with tan skin, blonde hair and blue eyes, freckles over the bridge of her nose and a big tooth gap.

“This is Jessica,” Ushijima introduced her to Oikawa. Then, in English, “Jessica, this is Oikawa, my boyfriend.”

Jessica eyes Oikawa from top to bottom and then she looks up to Ushijima. “He’s cute. Can he speak English?”

“I can,” Oikawa answers. “It’s nice to meet you! And... you are...”

“Wakatoshi’s future step sister,” she explains and Oikawa raises his eyebrows, turning to his boyfriend.

“You’re going to have a step sister?! Why didn’t you tell me, Ushiwaka?” He smacks his boyfriend’s arm.

“I’m sorry, It must have slipped.”

“Stop talking in Japanese! I can’t understand you!” The teenage girl pouts. Oikawa’s English isn’t perfect, but it sure as hell is better than Ushijima’s. He gets along with the girl very well. They sit next to each other in the backseat of the car on their ride back and talk about so many different things.

Oikawa wonders what it has to say about himself when he gets along with teenage girls. Iwaizumi would laugh about him, probably saying that Oikawa is a teenage girl at heart. At the end of the ride, they both agree to visit Disneyland during Oikawa’s and Ushijima’s stay.

“I like him!” Jessica shouts when she gets out of the car. “Wakatoshi, don’t break up with him.”

“I won’t,” Ushijima assures his new step sister and gives Oikawa a light smile.

“Take us to Disney Land or I will,” Oikawa jokes and squeezes his hand.

“And you have to wear Mickey Mouse ears!” Jessica adds.

“ _And_ you have to wear Mickey Mouse ears,” Oikawa agrees and Ushijima sighs. His father just laughs.

“I think it’s a great idea,” he says.

“Thank you, Sorai-san.”

They show them their guest room and let them rest and freshen up before dinner first and Oikawa feels great. Not only does he get along with Ushijima’s soon to be stepsister, but his father seems to be really nice and understanding of those two.

He lets himself fall down on the big bed and looks up at Ushijima. “I feel disgusting,” he declares.

“Do you want to take a bath?” Ushijima asks and Oikawa shakes his head, sitting up and spreading his arms.

“Not yet. Come here, Wakatoshi.”

His boyfriend kneels between Oikawa’s legs and kisses his forehead, as Oikawa throws his arms around him. “I feel disgusting. We just flew for so long. But I’m really happy I’m here. Everything is so different! And I like your father. I thought... I didn’t think he’d be so accepting.”

“Me neither, to be honest.” Ushijima gently strokes Oikawa’s cheek. “But I’m glad.”

Oikawa smiles and leans into his touch, placing a kiss on Ushijima’s thumb. “And Disneyland! I’ve always wanted to go to Disnleyland, Ushiwaka! It always looks so great on TV! I want to take a lot of pictures so I can send them to the others and make them jealous! And you with mouse ears!

It’s almost going to be as adorable as you with those cat ears. Ah, Ushiwaka, can you believe it? I’m going to hug Donald Duck, I’m telling you. No, I’ll hug all of them! No offense, I really liked our date on our six month anniversary, but this, Ushiwaka, I’m telling you, this is the real deal.”

Oikawa has been so occupied with rambling and dreaming about their trip to Disneyland, that he doesn’t notice the way Ushijima looks at him, with a big smile on his lips, the dimple showing. He thinks about how the others used to tell him that Ushijima looks at him as if Oikawa put the moon and stars in the sky.

Back then, Oikawa didn’t believe them. But now he knows it’s true and even though they’ve been together for this long, it still makes him blush. “What?”

“Nothing.” Ushijima kisses his nose and wants to sit up, but Oikawa pulls him in for a kiss.

“I love you,” he whispers against Ushijima’s lips. The other seems to be surprised by this and Oikawa smirks about the fact that he caught him off guard. “Just wanted to say that. Come on, let’s freshen up, we can’t have them wait for us for too long!”

  


* * *

  


Ushijima’s step mother looks a lot like her daughter, only that her blonde hair is slightly darker and she has even more freckles. She’s a beautiful woman, tall and slender with a loud voice. She introduces herself as Lauren and she apparently got Jessica when she was only twenty years old and has been a single mother ever since.

Oikawa is impressed. He’s turning twenty years soon too, and he couldn’t imagine already having a child now, even less without a partner to rely on and help him along. He’d probably break down. If Lauren ever did, he can’t tell.

She’s a horrible cook according to Ushijima’s father, who does all the cooking and she’s really nice to them, speaking a little bit too fast for Oikawa’s liking, since he can’t understand it all. He feels welcome by her. He helps her wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen, while Ushijima and his father are talking outside in the garden. Jessica is in her room doing whatever thirteen year old teenagers do.

“You know, Oikawa,” Lauren says, this time slower so he can understand, “I’m really glad Wakatoshi has you. I don’t know him well, but from what I know, he’s hard to approach. He’s a little bit like his father in that aspect.”

“Thank you,” Oikawa says. “That’s nice of you. Er, I’m glad Sorai-san has you too.”

Lauren smiles. “I have to warn you, though. Our family might be very accepting of your relationship... but people at the wedding... I’m really sorry that it’s like this for you.”

Oikawa looks down, trying to process her words. “I didn’t expect anything else,” he admits. “I am surprised you were all so accepting. Wakatoshi’s mother... she did accept us, but, er...”

“With reluctance?” she helps him out and Oikawa nods, even though he has no idea what that even means.

“To be honest, Takashi didn’t understand it at first either. It’s good Wakatoshi told him before, because he needed a while to process his son is, well, gay. We had a long talk and he even talked for a long time with his brother. I heard you know him?”

Oikawa narrows his eyes. God, did this woman have to talk so fast? “Yes, I know Ushijima’s uncle.”

“And what happened to his son,” she adds. “In the end, Takashi said he doesn’t care if his son is gay. They barely see each other anyway and behaving differently around him just because of the person he loves wouldn’t do any good for either of them.”

Oikawa only understands half of the words she’s saying, but he gets the overall gist, so he smiles. “I’m glad. I wish my parents would be so accepting.”

“They’re not?”

“Eh... I haven’t told them. I doubt they are.”

Lauren eyes him. “They might be. You’ll never know, people are full of surprises!”

* * *

  


Ushijima’s suit is grey and they really do wear matching ties in a turquoise color. And god, does he look good in the suit. Oikawa can’t help but stare when he sees Ushijima in front of the mirror. He takes two big steps until he’s standing next to Ushijima, who turns around.

“You look good,” Ushijima says, taking in Oikawa’s entire body in. Oikawa knows that look in Ushijima’s eyes, that look he gets when he’s even more attracted to him than usual. And he likes it, likes that he feels the same way.

“You too,” Oikawa replies. He touches Ushijima’s tie and grins. “Look. The Aoba Johsai colors. You should’ve come to Aoba Johsai, Ushiwaka.” His eyes meet Ushijima’s dark ones and he smiles, when Ushijima cups his face and kisses him.

“I think dark blue suits both of us better,” Ushijima says against his lips, when they part.

Oikawa laughs. “Please, our current team’s color looks horrible on me.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Stop trying to flatter me, Ushiwaka.” Oikawa puts his arms around his neck and smiles even wider, matching the one smile on Ushijima’s lips. He bumps his nose against Ushijima’s and then pulls back. “Do you think I can catch the bride’s bouquet? Maybe I’ll be the next to marry then.”

Ushijima raises an eyebrow, wanting to reply, but Oikawa just tugs on his sleeve. “That was a joke, I know I won’t.” He turns around and leaves the room, but his face is burning, because he just implied thinking about marrying. Marrying Ushijima.

God, it’s too early to think about those things. Not that he would mind.

“Oh god,” Oikawa whispers and squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head. Where is Iwaizumi when he needed him? He should tell Oikawa to get a grip and stop thinking about such things.

* * *

  


Jessica had a lot of fellow teenage girl friends who attend the wedding and all want to dance with Oikawa. Well, even here in America, he is popular with the girls. Even if they’re younger than the girls he’s used to.

He dances with them all though, and Ushijima doesn’t seem to mind, but after the seventh dance, Oikawa is exhausted. He has danced with so many people already, old and young women and Ushijima has danced with his new step sister and mother already too. And yet they still haven’t danced with each other!

Oikawa has looked forward to it, they’ve spent hours dancing in their living room, trying to figure out the complicated steps, because Oikawa isn’t just here for the boring feet tapping kind of dancing. And still... they haven’t had the opportunity to and Ushijima doesn’t ask him.

Maybe he doesn’t want to. Maybe his father told him about the guests and told him they’re not as accepting as others. Maybe Ushijima is scared now and that’s why he doesn’t ask Oikawa for a dance.

Oikawa sighs, taking more pictures of the wedding and putting them on snapchat. He sends some individual ones to Iwaizumi and the Peadick Group Chat. It’s already late night in Japan, but surprisingly, he gets replies from them.

Iwaizumi even sends back a picture of the night sky. Somebody is holding their hands in the picture with a V-Sign. That can’t be Iwaizumi.

_who r u with iwa-chaaaan_ , Oikawa sends back and he waits for a while. Gets a new drink (he’s not legal to drink here yet, but nobody cares anyway) and dances with one of Lauren’s bridesmaids until he gets a reply from his best friend on Snapchat.

It’s a selfie of Tendou, who seems to have stolen Iwaizumi’s phone. He used the flashlight of the phone, making his face painfully bright in the dark.

_ITS DA MIRACLE BOI TENDOU SATORI_

Oikawa chuckles and shakes his head, as he sends a snap back of himself with a played surprised expression.

_iwa-chan i didnt kno u too r finally dating!!!!! congrats!!!_

_we’re not shut up trashykawa_

“Who are you texting?” Ushijima asks, when he approaches him again. He had been talking to some people and sits down next to Oikawa again.

“Iwa-chan and Tendou are on a romantic date right now!” Oikawa explains. “Can you believe? They’re watching the night sky together!” Well, he doesn’t know if they really are, but he can pretend, right?

“I am glad for them. Tendou is really fond of Iwaizumi-san,” Ushijima replies.

“Wait, really?”

“Yes? Why do you sound surprised?”

“Oh, no reason.” Oikawa puts his phone away. “So, Ushiwaka. When are you going to ask me for a dance?”

“I was now actually.”

“Oh, sure. I ask and suddenly you act like you wanted to ask me for a dance now.” Oikawa pouts. “You’re not sly, Ushiwaka.”

“I just requested a song.” Ushijima holds out his hand and Oikawa takes a deep breath before he puts his on Ushijima’s.

“Which?” The current fast and catchy song gets to its end. They get up and to the dance floor as another one comes on.

“They only had one I knew,” Ushijima confesses, as the new song starts. It’s ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love With You’ by Elvis Presley and Oikawa’s eyes widen, when he realizes what song it is.

“Oh god, Ushiwaka, you’re so fucking sappy,” he says, his cheeks darkening. They start to dance slowly.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes,” Oikawa murmurs, looking down. “Yeah, I do.” When he looks up, he feels even more embarrassed. The way Ushijima just looks at him... It’s like that one time during Nationals, when they won and just fell into each other’s arms. It’s like nobody else in the room matters anymore, as if they’re the only people in the room, no, world. Oikawa knows it sounds sappy, but right now, he doesn’t care about anyone but Ushijima.

“Wakatoshi?”

“Yes?”

“I... I never asked you this. But... Well, I know you liked me since the first year of High School. But when did you realize? You know, for me it was on your birthday, almost a year ago.” A year. It doesn’t even sound like it’s been a long time, but it feels like it has been. So much has happened in just a year and Oikawa can’t even think about how it’s like to not be in love with Ushijima.

On the other hand, the year has passed by so quickly.

“It was after a game against you, the last one in Middle School.”

“What? You saw me losing and got off on it?” Oikawa snaps.

“No. It’s... I saw you being angry, but still calm. Pulling yourself together for your team and as a captain. Later, I walked in on you and Iwaizumi. You didn’t notice me, but you were crying.”

“You... saw me crying and got off on it,” Oikawa concludes and Ushijima sighs.

“No. I just thought you were incredibly strong, holding in your emotions for the team. And then I saw you and... for the first time you weren’t just my opponent, a rival on the other side of the net I had to defeat. I saw you...”

“As a human?” Oikawa guesses, smiling.

“Maybe.” Ushijima furrows his brows. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t call it the time I realized I liked you, though. It was a little bit later when I understood the feelings I had for you then were more than just platonic.”

Oikawa takes a deep breath. “Well, then you must have been super happy when we ended up in the same dorm, right?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa laughs. “And here I was, being so fucking angry and rude.”

“I can’t blame you. I am glad, though. I always knew I liked you, but when we started college and started living together... I got to see yet another side of you. I was finally able to get to know you, I’ve always wanted to,” Ushijima says. “And you were so much more than I ever imagined. I started to fall for you all over again. Maybe back then it has just been a crush, but once we were friends, I knew there was no going back.

I never would’ve thought you’d ever love me back, but you do. And you’re making me the happiest man alive.”

Oikawa blinks and then he realizes he has tears in his eyes. “Stupid Ushiwaka,” he grumbles, “making me cry with such sappy words. I- I can’t even compete with this.”

“You don’t have to,” Ushijima assures him.

Oikawa shakes his head furiously and wipes his tears away with his sleeve. “I love you,” he says, leaning his head on Ushijima’s shoulder. “I love you so much, Wakatoshi.”

Ushijima places a kiss on top of his head. “I love you too.”

“This is so embarrassing,” Oikawa complains. He hates that Ushijima can make him feel this way, even after all this time and that his heart is beating so fast against his chest. He’s so happy and he never in his life would’ve thought he’d ever be this happy with his rival, but he is.

And he wouldn’t change it for anything in his life.

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even more... subtle iwaten,,. im the mother of this ship bye
> 
> this is one of the cheesiest and sappiest chapters ive ever written in my life  
> also i know its a little bit rushed and i wanted to add the disneyland trip too but i think i'll leave it out? sorryyy
> 
> and why do i keep adding this song by elvis in my fics. i just *clenches fist* love that song so much (its also the for the ch. title)


	35. But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But Iwa-chan, what if something happened to him?” Oikawa cries.
> 
> “It didn’t.”
> 
> “What if?”
> 
> “He’ll be fine, Oikawa. He probably has a good reason why he’s late.”
> 
> “It’s been five hours, Iwa-chan! I’m worried!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i told yall i'm back  
> also i changed to 37 chapters now. this chapter was split in two. i didnt intend it to be so long but it became a monster of like 5k so i just split . one more chapter until this fic comes to an end *shrugs*

He wishes they could spend more time in America, but sadly there’s not much time for that. There’s too much to do, especially Volleyball practice. Especially for Ushijima, since the World Championships are soon and he’s gone on a very long Training Camp.

Oikawa understands it. He’d be the last person to be angry at his boyfriend for not spending spend his holidays with Oikawa because of volleyball. Hell, if he’d be on the team, he would’ve done that too without feeling bad at all. Okay, maybe a little bit bad. At least they get to spend his birthday together before Ushijima is gone.

Oikawa is busy too. He’s getting more modeling jobs lately, practices too, studies sometimes, spends time with the Peadicks in Kuroo and Kenma’s apartment, drives back to his hometown to visit his parents and hang out with Iwaizumi, Matsukawa and Hanamaki. They even visit the volleyball practice again. Seeing Kindaichi and Kunimi as the now third years and captain and vice captain sure is something else. He still remembers when they were completely new to their team and so young.

Yes, time flew by way too fast.

Even the holidays and the days he spends apart from Ushijima. Of course he misses him, especially at night, when all his friends are gone and Oikawa is alone in his bed in Miyagi or their bed in Tokyo, reaching out and touching the empty space next to him. Sometimes, he clutches onto Ushijima’s pillow, buries his head in it and inhales his scent.

Ushijima tries to call him as often as he can. Which is about once a day right before he has to sleep. Lately, he calls him less, and Ushijima apologizes to him, explaining that he’s too exhausted and doesn’t have time for it.

Fine. Oikawa can live without his calls. It’s probably better, because he’s just really horny sometimes and Ushijima sadly doesn’t have the privacy for phone sex. Not that they could do it anyway, Oikawa thinks Ushijima is probably horrible at phone sex. On the other hand, he shouldn’t judge so quickly. He never would’ve thought Ushijima is good at dirty talk, but he has gotten better. A little _too_ good actually, not that he’s complaining.

When Ushijima doesn’t call him for three days and doesn’t pick up his phone, Oikawa feels like he’s about to go crazy.

“Iwa-chan, why doesn’t he call me back?”

“Maybe you’re way too clingy,” Iwaizumi replies, shrugging. “It’s only been three days.”

“Only three days? _Already_ three days!” Oikawa whines, putting his head on the counter.

Iwaizumi groans and pushes Oikawa away. “Don’t put your head on the counter. You’re worse than Tendou. I should search for another summer job. Somewhere nobody can come and bother me.”

“Come on, this shop belongs to your uncle, he doesn’t mind if your friends bother you at work. He likes me and there are barely any customers anyway,” Oikawa says, smiling.

The bell to the door rings and Oikawa and Iwaizumi look up to see who the new customer is.

“Oh, Oikawa! Didn’t know you’re here!” Tendou shouts, as he spots him. Iwaizumi groans.

“Tendou, you don’t have to come here all the time, you know?”

Tendou grins and walks over to them, looking at the gum next to the register and puts it on the counter. “I’m a customer, Hajime, you should be nicer!”

“Exactly, Iwa-chan, you should be nicer!” Oikawa agrees.

Iwaizumi looks at the both of them with a desperate expression. “You didn’t even buy anything, Trashykawa, you’re not a customer.”

“I bought your friendship,” Oikawa says.

“I don’t remember ever getting paid. You should pay me though, Oikawa.”

Tendou gives him some money and winks. “You can have my money. You can keep the rest.”

“I won’t,” Iwaizumi grumbles as he gets out the exchange money from the register and gives it Tendou, who then proceeds to sit down on the chair next to Oikawa.

“Tendou, I need your help! Ushiwaka still hasn’t called me!”

“How long has it been?” the redhead asks, as he puts some gum into his mouth and then offers Oikawa one, who gladly takes him up on the offer.

“Three days.”

“Wakatoshi sometimes doesn’t call me back for a week and then he’s like ‘I saw you called me, is something the matter?’, as if it hasn’t been a week already,” Tendou says, shrugging.

“You’re not his boyfriend,” Oikawa points out.

“Hajime doesn’t call me back for three days sometimes too, and I’m not freaking out about it!”

“I’m not your _boyfriend,_ ” Iwaizumi says and Tendou and Oikawa laugh.

“Tsun-Tsun,” Tendou says, smiling.

“Did you just call Iwa-chan a Tsundere?” Oikawa asks, his eyes widening and he puts his hand in front of his mouth.

“He did not,” Iwaizumi says.

“I did.”

“I’m not a Tsundere.”

“That’s what a Tsundere would say,” Oikawa teases and Iwaizumi gives him a light slap on the back of his head. “Ouch, Iwa-chan, what was that for? That just proves our argument more!”

“If you’re not a Tsundere,” Tendou says, “You’d already go on a date with me.”

Iwaizumi blushes. “I- You never even asked me on a date.”

“Oh.” Tendou nods. “You’re right. Wanna go on a date?”

Oikawa gets up abruptly from his chair, making it screech against the floor. Tendou and Iwaizumi immediately look to him. “That’s it! I can’t take your flirting anymore! Here I am crying over my boyfriend and you’re both flirting in front of me. This is so inconsiderate, I’m going home. And you better say yes, Iwa-chan!”

He leaves the shop.

* * *

 

Ushijima calls him later that day and Oikawa practically runs to get his phone and almost trips to answer it. When he finally has it in his hands, he stares at the screen and waits a moment. Ushijima made him wait for so long, he can wait a few seconds more. Then, he thinks he’s behaving childish and picks up.

“Ushiwaka!” he shouts. “It’s been a while!”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Ushijima says. “I was-”

“Busy. I know, I know.” Oikawa breathes out. “I’m glad you finally called me now, though.”

“I don’t have much time.”

“Are you serious?!” Oikawa groans and closes his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall. “Okay, I won’t complain now, or we don’t have any time.”

“How have you been?”

“Usual. Volleyball. I’m visiting my family right now. Iwa-chan and Tendou are probably finally dating now. Took them long enough. My annoying nephew told me yesterday he wants to join the soccer and not volleyball team. I feel so betrayed.”

“Not everyone enjoys volleyball.” Oikawa can hear the amusement in his voice and pictures it. Ushijima sitting on his bed with a smile on his lips, the dimple on his cheek appearing.

“I miss you,” Oikawa blurts out.

“I miss you too. I am back for my birthday.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Oh god, Ushiwaka, I’m so excited! I’ll come to Tokyo then and we’ll spend the entire day together! Just leave it to me to plan it!”

“Thank you. I look forward to it, but you don’t need to do something too-”

“Oh, come on, you only turn twenty once. You’re finally legal!”

“You’re not that much older than me,” Ushijima points out and Oikawa laughs.

“Still older and wiser. Don’t you dare deny the second part.”

“I didn’t say anything.” A background voice appears. “I’m sorry, Tooru, I need to hang up.”

“It’s okay. Call me before you come back at least, okay? See you then, Wakatoshi.”

“Good Night. I love you.”

Oikawa doesn’t stop smiling that night and falls asleep with his lips curled up.

 

* * *

 

Ushijima calls him two days before he’s going to there at about three pm. He doesn’t call again and Oikawa reminds himself. He shouldn’t be angry at him right before or on his birthday, so he ignores it. He still wishes Ushijima would have called, but maybe he’ll call later.

Oikawa organizes everything for his birthday. He drives back to Tokyo and bakes a cake on his own. He doesn’t even get the help from anyone. Okay, well, he calls Mika over the phone for some help, but that doesn’t count because she’s not physically there to help him.

He buys flowers at the flower shop near them and places candles everywhere in their apartment. He even hangs up balloons and a big ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ sign and buys groceries to make dinner for them later. Oikawa is really prepared, he even wears those nice thigh highs again and Ushijima’s present is neatly wrapped.

It consists of a DVD in which Oikawa put together all the video footage he made on their trip to the USA and all the other times he has filmed them, which is a lot. He even looked for the first time at the video Misaki took of them in their first karaoke night when Oikawa sang ‘Toxic’ to Ushijima. And he bought a big stuffed animal that looks exactly like Kyo.

He puts the cake on the table and puts the twenty candles on it, lighting them one by one right before it’s 3 pm. Then, Oikawa sits down and waits. He takes a lot of pictures of the room and the cake and sends them to his friends, boasting about what a great boyfriend he is.

_iwa-chan look at this u should step up ur game and bake tendou a cake too ur not bf material_

_i’m more boyfriend material than you trashykawa_

_OMG DO U FINALLY ADMIT IT?_

_i guess_

Oikawa wants to call Iwaizumi to ask him about it, but what if Ushijima arrives soon? No, instead he settles for bombarding his best friends with questions.

It’s past three pm and Ushijima still isn’t here, so Oikawa wants to call Iwaizumi. Before he can call him, Iwaizumi tells him he’s busy right now so, Oikawa drops it.

It’s four pm when Oikawa has already called Ushijima five times and grows more impatient. He blows out the candles and puts the cake back into the fridge, telling himself to just get it out later.

It’s five pm when Oikawa opens the bottle of wine and starts drinking, complaining about how late his boyfriend is without even saying anything before to Kuroo, who tries to cheer him up over his phone.

When it’s six pm Oikawa is angry and really hungry. He angrily eats some milkbread while he chats with Iwaizumi on the phone for over an hour.

He shouldn’t be angry at Ushijima. Not on his birthday. But he is angry. He could’ve at least called before, telling him he’s going to be late or he can’t make it! And what if something happened to him? What if he was in an accident? Oikawa is too paranoid and by the time it’s eight pm. He walks around the house the entire time and even calls Ushijima’s mother asking her if she knows anything. She doesn’t, which doesn’t surprise Oikawa.

He calls Iwaizumi again, who tries to calm him down.

“But Iwa-chan, what if something happened to him?” Oikawa cries.

“It didn’t.”

“What if?”

“He’ll be fine, Oikawa. He probably has a good reason why he’s late.”

“It’s been five hours, Iwa-chan! I’m worried! You can’t tell me that he’s fine, because you don’t know either!” Oikawa shouts and sits down at the table again. “If something happened to him... I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Iwaizumi manages to calm him down and Oikawa thanks him for it. When it’s nine pm and Oikawa still hasn’t heard of Ushijima, he panics again and this time he doesn’t call his best friend to calm him down, even though he probably should. He even thinks about calling the police and he is crying, thinking about that something might have happened to his boyfriend.

That’s when, seven hours later, when all the candles are burned down and Ushijima’s birthday is almost over, Ushijima finds Oikawa in the darkness crying while hugging the stuffed animal.

“Tooru?”

“Ushiwaka!” Oikawa shouts. “You’re fine!” He throws himself at his boyfriend, hugging him and crying into his shoulder.

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re late! Seven hours!” Oikawa shouts. “I waited- I waited so long for you.” He wipes away his tears. “What happened?”

“I’m sorry. I- I just lost track of time.”

Oikawa blinks. In the past seven hours, he has freaked out so much, has called his friends and annoyed them with how worried he was. And all Ushijima had to say was that  _he lost track of time_. “What?”

“I should’ve called you, I didn’t intend to make you wait. I see you prepared all of this for me, thank you-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Oikawa steps back when Ushijima wants to hug him again. “You just ‘ _lost track of time_ ’? You didn’t think of your boyfriend? Who you knew was waiting for you? Since three pm? Who you haven’t seen in weeks?!”

“Tooru-” Ushijima steps towards him, but Oikawa slaps his hands away.

“Don’t.” He’s not worried anymore. He’s furious. “There’s absolutely no excuse for this. I don’t care that it’s your birthday. I told this myself all the time. Don’t be angry at him, it’s his birthday! Do you know how much time I spent to do all of this? I baked you a _fucking cake_ , Wakatoshi! I wanted to make you dinner! I even got you flowers and balloons!

“And then you didn’t come. You didn’t call. Do you even know how I felt? I thought something had happened to you. I thought you were maybe in an accident! I called your mother! I was freaking out over the phone with Iwaizumi and you- I cried. I cried because of you.”

Ushijima stares at him, with a hurt expression on his face. “I’m sorry, Tooru. I...”

“Forget it.” Oikawa throws the stuffed animal at him. “I don’t want your shitty excuses. ‘I lost track of time’. You know, I understand more than anyone else how important volleyball is for you. It is to me too. You could’ve called. But no, you just forgot me. Not even mentioning how in the past few days you haven’t called me at all.”

“Please, let me explain-”

“No!” Oikawa shouts. “I- I can’t.” He shakes his head furiously. “I’m going.”

“What?” 

“I said I’m going! Enjoy your birthday cake! I can’t stand being around you anymore!” he shouts and runs out of their home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i m ... sorry???  
> but hey i moved on from "subtle, implied iwaten" to "100% canon iwaten" sorry not sorry i mean i'm a huge tensemi shipper but... like, listen, iwaten is good
> 
> (title: breakeven - the script)


	36. But you never really had a doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He loves him,” Kuroo says. “I don’t think he forgive him immediately. He’ll take him back, no doubt. But first he wants to listen to what Akaashi has to say. I guess.”
> 
> Oikawa bites down on his lower lip and thinks about his and Ushijima’s fight. Yes, Ushijima has had a horrible excuse, but Oikawa also didn’t listen to him. He should’ve at least listened to him and let him explain himself more.
> 
> “I need to go,” he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is the longest chapter of the fic so far with like almost 3,8k so uh have fun

He drives to Kuroo and Kenma’s apartment and by the time he arrives, he doesn’t know what to say. How should he explain what has just happened? Oikawa is so angry, so furious and so disappointed. This was their first fight.

He remembers that time he told Iwaizumi that it was too good between them right now, too perfect and that he was afraid something might ruin their happiness. Back then, Oikawa thought it was going to be him. In the past Oikawa has fucked up a lot, so it had been only natural for him to assume he’d be the one to fuck up again.

But no, he didn’t.

He is so angry thinking about it again, that he has tears in his eyes when he knocks on his friends’ door.

Bokuto is the one to open the door. “Wow, that’s fast- Oikawa?”

“Bokuto!” Oikawa cries and then just throws himself around his friend and cries into his shoulder.

“Woah, Oikawa- what... What happened? Okay, come inside first.”

Oikawa steps inside and wipes away his tears. “Sorry. What are you doing here?”

“Uh, just spending some time with the others.” Bokuto gently pats him on his back and Oikawa takes off his shoes as Bokuto leads him into the living room.

“So, it’s not the delivery boy, right?” Kuroo asks and then he sees Oikawa. “Oh, Oikawa! What a surprise! Why are your eyes so red- _Oh_.”

Oikawa forces himself for a smile. “Surprise! Sorry, I’m not bringing you food.”

“Dude, is it Ushiwaka? Did something happen?” Bokuto asks and even Kenma puts away his PSP to find out what has happened, concern written on his usual expressionless face.

“He’s just so... he’s an asshole. I hate him!” Oikawa shouts and lets himself fall back on the couch. “Can I crash here? I hate him and I don’t want to see him right now.”

“Sure,” Kuroo says and looks over to Kenma. “Right?”

The blonde boy nods. “Yes.”

“Thank you,” Oikawa says.

“Okay, what did Ushiwaka do? I can’t imagine him wanting to hurt you on purpose!” Bokuto sits down next to Oikawa, who shrugs, his shoulders slugging.

“I was waiting for him since three pm, you know?”

“Yes, we saw your snaps. We even talked over the phone,” Kuroo replies and Oikawa sighs.

“He finally came. At ten pm. Do you know how much I suffered in those seven hours? I thought he was dead or something!” Oikawa shouts. “And then he just came and didn’t even have an excuse. He just said he forgot. He just simply forgot.”

The more he talks about it, the angrier he gets. He groans and shakes his head. “I don’t want to talk about it. Can we change the topic?”

They do. The other three offer to share their food with him once the delivery boy arrives and they watch a movie. Oikawa doesn’t shut up and brings up Ushijima again and again, but every time the others want to say something, he glares at them and says that he doesn’t want to talk about that asshole.

It’s half an hour before midnight, when somebody rings at their door and for a moment Oikawa thinks its Ushijima. He hasn’t checked his phone, he has turned it off, but the others have confirmed that Ushijima tried to call them several times. Kenma was the only one to answer and he just said, “He’s here and doesn’t want to talk to you,” before hanging up again.

“Who could it be at this time?” Bokuto asks.

“Probably Ushiwaka,” Kuroo says, shrugging.

“Don’t open the door!” Oikawa quickly shouts.

“I have to make sure first.” Kuroo gets up from the couch and opens the door. He lets out a laughter and Oikawa wonders who it is. “Kenma, our flat is a romcom tonight!”

“What does that even mean?” Bokuto asks. Then, Akaashi stands in the middle of the room and Bokuto drops his glass, shattering it everywhere.

“Bro!” Kuroo complains.

“Ke-Keiji?”

“Hey,” Akaashi says, a light smile and Bokuto gets up and cries. Well, he doesn’t exactly _cry_ , it’s just more the sound he makes as he hugs Akaashi.

“Keiji!”

“I’m sorry for the late interruption. I just... heard Bokuto is here and I...” Akaashi looks down. “I couldn’t wait.”

“What are you doing here?” Bokuto asks, softly and Akaashi looks up at him.

“I’m sorry, Koutarou. I was really... mean. I thought a lot about our break up over the holidays and I...” He blushes. “Can we talk somewhere more private?”

“Our room,” Kuroo says immediately and Bokuto beams at his best friend.

“Thank you!” He takes Akaashi’s hand and drags him along with him to Kuroo and Kenma’s room.

“They’ll have make up sex on our bed,” Kenma complains.

“He deserves it,” Kuroo says. “He hasn’t had sex in like two months. And he really missed Akaashi.”

“I don’t get it,” Oikawa murmurs. “Why did he forgive him immediately? Akaashi broke up with him over the phone! And didn’t show up again afterwards or called him again to clarify anything!”

Kuroo and Kenma shrug. “He loves him,” Kuroo says. “I don’t think he forgive him immediately. He’ll take him back, no doubt. But first he wants to listen to what Akaashi has to say. I guess.”

Oikawa bites down on his lower lip and thinks about his and Ushijima’s fight. Yes, Ushijima has had a horrible excuse, but Oikawa also didn’t listen to him. He should’ve at least listened to him and let him explain himself more.

“I need to go,” he says.

“What?” Kuroo asks.

“I need to go to Ushiwaka.” Oikawa gets up. “Before midnight.”

“Okay, Cinderella,” Kuroo says, laughing.

“No, it’s- because it’s his birthday and I still haven’t congratulated him. And you’re right, I should listen to what he has to say,” Oikawa explains.

“You can’t make it,” Kenma says. “You only have twenty five minutes left.”

“I will take a cab! Thank you for everything!” And Oikawa storms out of their apartment.

* * *

 

He’s out of breath by the time he arrives at their apartment and there are only two minutes left of this day. Oikawa even drops the keys once and curses himself. When he finally gets the door open, Ushijima is already standing in front of it.

“Wakatoshi,” Oikawa says and his heart hurts. It still hurts and he’s still angry, but he’s here. “I- Happy Birthday.”

Ushijima pulls him into a hug. “Thank you. I’m so sorry, Tooru.”

Oikawa swallows and closes his eyes and hugs him back. “Okay,” he whispers. “Okay. Let’s talk.”

They sit down on their couch and Oikawa sees that Ushijima has been watching the DVD he has made for him.

“Thank you for the presents,” Ushijima tells him. “It was really wrong of me. I’m really grateful for everything you did for me and I was so...” He has no words and Oikawa is surprised that he doesn’t. Usually, he always has.

“You don’t say,” Oikawa says.

“I was always afraid of the day I mess this up,” Ushijima says and Oikawa is even more surprised at the choice of his words. “The day I do something wrong and you realize I’m not worthy of you. And you leave me. I was... really afraid this was that day. Tooru...” His voice is weak and he’s shaking.

Oikawa leans his forehead against Ushijima’s. “Listen, Wakatoshi. I’m mad at you and I hate what you did, but it takes much more for you to get rid of me, okay? I love you, I’m not leaving you because of something like that.” He looks away and feels his face heating up, when he says the next words. “Or ever.”

“I shouldn’t have doubted you.”

“Yes. But also, you shouldn’t have doubted yourself. Though, I’m guilty of it too,” Oikawa confesses. “I always thought I’ll be the one to fuck up first.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Okay, so now explain yourself.” Oikawa looks up and into his boyfriend’s eyes. “And you better have a better explanation now.”

“I don’t know how to.”

“My, the mighty Ushiwaka is lost for words? Try not to use farm metaphors,” Oikawa teases and Ushijima tenses.

“I- Recently... I feel like...” Ushijima looks down at his hands, “breaking down.”

“Huh?”

“I have never been not confident about my skills as a player, even whenever I lost. Even when we lost against Karasuno. But lately, I feel like breaking down and I have- I doubt myself so much. During the training camp I felt like I wasn’t enough,” Ushijima explains. “I shouldn’t blame it on the coach. He’s trying to get the best in every single one of us and all my coaches I had before were strict too.

“I should be used to this. But somehow the words get to me. I felt weak and bad, especially next to the others. I never felt like this. I had- panic attacks and my anxiety is getting worse.”

“Wakatoshi,” Oikawa whispers, “why didn’t you tell me? You could’ve called.”

“I didn’t want to bother you,” Ushijima says. His whole body is shaking and trembling now. “I didn’t want to worry you. When I didn’t call you... it wasn’t because I didn’t have time. I usually was feeling so awful, I didn’t want to call you and bring you down too. And today I stayed to train more and my game was so off. Usually my feelings never get in the way I play. I don’t know how that’s like, but I played horribly. I was so frustrated with myself, I totally forgot everything. I’m sorry, Tooru-”

“Wakatoshi.” Oikawa takes Ushijima’s shaking hands in his and squeezes them. “You’re an idiot.”

Ushijima looks up and opens his mouth, but Oikawa gently presses his index finger against it. “You know back in middle school, I almost broke down too. Because of Tobio-chan, yeah, that one setter from Karasuno. I had Iwa-chan to help me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.

“And you? You have me. I’m here for you, okay? That’s what a relationship is, idiot. Do you know how many times you cheered me up? Not because of volleyball, but because... everything. And remember that one time with my former boss? You literally said there’s nothing wrong with worrying about the person you love.”

He puts his arm around Ushijima and pulls him into a hug. Ushijima slowly calms down in the touch. “I forgive you.”

“Thank you.”

Oikawa leans back to cup Ushijima’s face and smiles before he kisses him. “I don’t mind worrying. But not like that, okay? Next time, call me.”

“I will.”

“Good.” Oikawa closes his eyes. His hand glides to the back of Ushijima’s neck, pulling him closer for another kiss. “I love you, okay? Don’t doubt that. Ever.”

* * *

 

That night they move onto the bed with gentle and slow kisses. Their room is completely dark with the exception of the light from outside shining in through the gap of their curtains, reflecting on their skin.

Oikawa is on top of Ushijima, straddling his lap while he kisses him slowly, sweetly. He takes his time, because they have it. They have all the time in the world and he wants to cherish every single inch of his boyfriend’s body. His fingers tangle in Ushijima’s dark hair, glide over his neck, his biceps, his abs.

“Take off your shirt,” Ushijima tells him and Oikawa leans back, trying to take it off, but he gets tangled in it.

“Er,” Oikawa says, “Ushiwaka... you have to help me here.” He can’t see anything, but he hears Ushijima chuckling when he helps him.

“Don’t laugh!” Oikawa snaps, but he has to laugh too, and when he’s finally free of his shirt, Ushijima smiles and Oikawa laughs even more. “Stupid Ushiwaka.”

“You’re the one who got tangled in his shirt,” Ushijima points out, still smiling. Oikawa shakes his head.

“You’re unbelievable. It’s normal. I was caught in the moment.”

“Caught in the moment or your shirt?”

Oikawa blinks and then laughs, letting out a snort and then pressing the palm of his hand against his mouth. “Oh my god.” Ushijima stares at him and then laughs. He kisses Oikawa, pulls him in closer by his waist and then flips him over that he’s underneath Ushijima.

“Oh god, Ushiwaka, a little warning would’ve been nice!”

“Don’t call me that,” Ushijima says, still with a cheery tone and a smile. Oikawa is glad to see him smile now and can’t stop either. Especially not when Ushijimia bites his nose lightly. Oikawa laughs again and then Ushijima plants several kisses all over his face. Oikawa squeezes his eyes shut and when Ushijima moves lower, his kisses get even lighter. Just little light kisses along his neck and on his stomach.

Oikawa starts giggling. “Oh god, Ushiwaka, that tickles!” Ushijima doesn’t stop though, and soon Oikawa’s entire body is shaking from laughing. Ushijima looks up to him and then blows a raspberry against Oikawa’s stomach.

“Ushiwaka!” Oikawa shouts, laughing so much, tears are forming in the corner of his eyes. He pulls him up and Ushijima is laughing now too, and they’re holding each other. And it’s not even anymore because he thought it’s funny, but because Oikawa is so damn happy. He’s so happy even though only a few hours before he had been so angry at Ushijima.

He’s happy to see Ushijima like this and Oikawa kisses him. “You’re unbelievable.” Oikawa leans back against the wall and spreads his legs more for Ushijima to be able to settle better between them. “Help me get out of my pants.”

“Can’t do it yourself, right?” Ushijima teases and Oikawa gasps.

“Wakatoshi, leave that attitude for someone who likes it.”

“You like it.”

Oikawa grins as he lifts his hips and Ushijima pulls his pants down. “You’re right. I love it.” He raises his legs so Ushijima can get rid of them for once and all. Ushijima raises his eyes when he sees the black thigh highs underneath it and Oikawa looks down.

“I totally forgot that I wore them,” he admits and takes them off. “I’m not feeling them anymore, though, I have to disappoint. And you, take off your socks too, it’s unsexy if you keep them on.”

Ushijima chuckles, shakes his head and kicks off his socks before raising himself up. He opens his jeans and pulls them down, Oikawa helping him.

“I think you got fat,” Oikawa says, when the pants are way too tight.

“I built up more muscles.” Both of them are now completely stripped to their underwear.

“I really like those muscles.” Oikawa looks up and smiles into the next kiss. His heart flutters and soon he’s pinned under Ushijima again, head hitting the pillow with Ushijima between his legs. His hands roam over Ushijima’s back, as he adds, “Yeah, I really _really_ like them.”

Ushijima kisses his neck, this time more intense. He sucks on the sensitive skin, which leads to Oikawa letting out a quiet moan. Ushijima hooks his finger in Oikawa’s briefs and slowly pulls them down too, freeing Oikawa of the only clothes he has left on his body.

“I also, ah, really like your hands, but you already know that,” Oikawa adds. “Really nice big hands. I have a hand kink because of you, Ushiwaka, take responsibility.” Ushijima raises an eyebrow. “Okay, _Wakatoshi_.” Oikawa rolls his eyes and giggles.

Ushijima only shakes his head, one corner of his lip curled up. He frees himself of his own underwear now too and then throws one of Oikawa’s legs over his shoulder, making Oikawa flinch in surprise.

“A warning, Ushi-Wakatoshi!”

“Sorry.”

“You’re not.”

“I am not,” Ushijima agrees and now it’s Oikawa who shakes his head.

“Unbelievable. Unbelievable, adorable Ushiwaka.” He raises his arm and strokes his boyfriend’s cheek. “I can’t believe I love this idiot farmer.”

“Did you just call me an idiot farmer in bed?”

“Yes,” Oikawa says, trying to hold back his laughter. “What are you going to do about it?”

“Alien boy,” Ushijima replies and Oikawa fake moans.

“God, Wakatoshi, that only makes me hotter,” he jokes and Ushijima laughs. He puts his head on Oikawa’s shoulder laughing into it and Oikawa does too. “So... will you open me up now? It’s kind of getting cold and I think we need some more preparation since it’s been a while.” Oikawa stops himself. “Did I just break the mood?”

“Which mood? I literally just called you an alien boy,” Ushijima says.

“Exactly that mood. That was hot,” Oikawa jokes.

Ushijima rolls his eyes and presses a kiss on Oikawa’s forehead. “I’m never doing that again,” he assures him. He stretches out his arm to the nightstand to get the lube and Oikawa pouts.

“Aw, Ushiwaka, you’re so mean. What if I want to roleplay? Me as a foreign alien, you as a farmer whose crops I have destroyed with my crop circles-” He hisses, when he suddenly feels Ushijima’s fingers around his dick, stroking him slowly at first.

“Would you shut up?” Ushijima asks.

“Make me.”

Ushijima kisses him with an open mouthed kiss, he pulls back his hand, which makes Oikawa wince, but soon he feels Ushijima’s finger against his entrance and he lets himself fall back completely again. “Ah, yes, right there farmer boy-”

Ushijima stops. “Tooru. No.”

“Tooru, _yes_.” Ushijima just stares at him and Oikawa stares back. “You won’t continue unless I swear not to ever say that again, right?”

“Yes.”

“Oh god, okay, I take it back. No farming or aliens allowed during sex,” Oikawa swears. “Now, please, get on with it.”

“Pinky swear?” Ushijima teases him and Oikawa pouts.

“I hate you.”

Ushijima chuckles and adds another finger, moving them in Oikawa. He pushes in deeper, scissoring them and gently stretches Oikawa, who holds his breath, eyes closed. When he hits that one spot, Oikawa opens his eyes again, letting out a deep moan and arches his back.

“Wakatoshi,” he whispers and Ushijima kisses him, pulls out his two fingers, only to enter him with a third one. Oikawa breathes heavily now, his back aches and his fingers curl into Ushijima’s hair once again. “Yeah, there. Fuck, Wakatoshi.” He whispers Ushijima’s name against his ear and gets a low groan as a response. “It’s been so long.”

“I know,” Ushijima says, his voice low and eyes set on Oikawa’s flushed face. “I know, Tooru.”

“I missed you so much,” Oikawa says and then lets out another moan.

“I missed you too, god,” Ushijima kisses his jaw. “I love you. I wish I’d never have to leave you.”

Oikawa throws his arms around him. “I think that’s enough, I’m fine already.”

“You sure?”

Oikawa nods and Ushijima pulls out his fingers. Oikawa feels so empty without them, but he doesn’t complain, not when he knows what’s going to happen soon. “With a condom or without?”

“Without,” Oikawa decides. “Hurry up. Or do you need my help?” He grins and Ushijima raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t reply, so Oikawa grabs the bottle of lube from his hands and smears some on his fingers. “We’re making a mess,” he decides. “You will change the sheets tomorrow. You haven’t done laundry in like weeks.”

“Are we discussing laundry now?”

“Yes.” Oikawa grins and plants a kiss on Ushijima’s lips and coats his hard length with lube. He tilts his head to the left and their tongues meet. They don’t even break contact, when Oikawa falls down back on the bed again and spreads his legs, throws them and his arms around Ushijima. Usually, Oikawa isn’t a fan of these kind of kisses. Where you just don’t break the kiss and keep shoving your tongue down your partner’s throat, it’s kind of disgusting actually, drool dripping from the side of his mouth. But right now, it’s really nice. Yes, especially, when Ushijima even manages to enter him without breaking the kiss.

When he finally leans back, Oikawa gasps for air and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “We’re disgusting.”

“I don’t mind.”

Oikawa laughs and Ushijima leans down again, kisses his eyelid and then starts moving slowly. Oikwa’s heels dig into Ushijima’s back and he bites down on his lower lip. Ushijima fastens his pace, grabs Oikawa’s thighs and pushes them higher. This way he’s just in the right angle to make Oikawa moan.

“Oh god, Wakatoshi,” he breathes out. Each thrust washes his body over with joy and lust. His body feels so hot and he’s so close. Ushijima can read him, they know each others body too well by now and he touches Oikawa, stroking his cock. His heavy breath is so hot against Oikawa’s ear, it makes his head dizzy. “I’m close,” Oikawa whimpers.

“Me too,” Ushijima says, his voice rough. Oikawa throws his head back when he comes with a cry on his lips, nails digging into Ushijima’s back. His lover continues to thrust into him through his orgasm, and when Oikawa is down from his low, Ushijima spills inside him.

Oikawa breathes out heavily when Ushijima pulls out and collapses on him.

“That was nice,” Oikawa says after a while.

Ushijima chuckles. “Nice?”

“Yeah, you were pretty decent there, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa jokes and kisses the top of Ushijima’s head. who then rolls down from him and onto his back next to Oikawa.

“Pretty decent.”

“Don’t just repeat my words. What are you, a parrot?” Oikawa lays down on his side so he can watch Ushijima. “I need to clean up. Disgusting, Ushiwaka. Disgusting.”

“You don’t really think it is.”

“You can’t read my mind.” Oikawa wiggles closer to Ushijima’s hot body. “Hey, Wakatoshi?”

“Shall I carry you to the bathroom?”

“No, that’s not it. I mean, you can. Yeah, you totally should. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

Ushijima looks up. “What is it?”

“I think... I think I want to introduce you to my parents. I mean... they’re going to know sooner or later anyway, right? And I can’t hide I’m gay forever,” Oikawa says. “Plus, I...” He blushes.

“What?”

“I just really love you.” Oikawa lets out a cry. “Oh god, that sounded so sappy. Lock me up. Go to jail, do not pass, do not collect $200.”

“Do I have to understand that?”

“Monopoly,” Oikawa just explains, not even surprised that Ushijima doesn’t get the reference.

“Okay. I would really like to, if that’s what you want.” Ushijima smiles and kisses Oikawa’s cheep. “I love you too, you don’t need to be embarrassed.”

 

“Of course I have to. Normal people do not just say sappy things out of nowhere. We can’t all be you,” Oikawa teases, but he smiles too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pulls out guitar* anyway here's wonderwall
> 
> 99.9% the last smut scene of this fic so ..,  
> also i didnt even intend to include it but i was like "i need a really cute fluffy and funny smut scene where they just giggle and talk all the time and are dorks". so i just HAD to add it you're welcome


	37. Mama, didn't mean to make you cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you change my clothes?”
> 
> “Yes.”
> 
> “You’re such a considerate boyfriend,” Oikawa says, smirking. “I didn’t do anything stupid last night, right? I didn’t say awful things to you, right?”
> 
> Ushijima eyes him. “Are you worried about that?”
> 
> “Of course I am! It almost ruined our friendship the last time! What do you think why I stopped drinking that much?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a while

Okay, you can do this, Oikawa.

It’s no big deal, you just have to tell your parents you’re gay. Never liked girls or were attracted to them, only dated two girls once in High School briefly because you thought you were supposed to. It’s easy. You don’t like girls, yeah, you can’t really give them grandchildren, but if adoption would be a thing, you wouldn’t mind either.

Not that Oikawa even thinks that far, he’s only twenty years old for god’s sake.

Oh, and tell them you’re dating Ushijima. The guy you’ve lived with over a year and you’ve been sharing a bed for over half a year. It’s... easy.

Except that it isn’t. Except Oikawa knows how his parents feel about gay couples. He’s seen their disgust on their faces whenever the topic is brought up and how they just don’t understand.

“I guess we have to accept that,” Oikawa’s father once said, “but I just think it’s wrong. It’s not how it’s supposed to be and I’m glad none of my children are like that.”

Oikawa has flashed a forced smile, while his sister just raised her eyebrow.

He wanted to tell them in person, so he was spending the weekend at his parent’s home. Classes are starting soon too, so they aren’t questioning why he wants to spend his last days in his hometown.

Oikawa isn’t looking forward to go back to university. He heard there’s going to be a transfer student on the team who’s aiming for his place as a setter. Who the hell transfers in the middle of the year?  Whoever that guy is, Oikawa will not give up.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispers, “I am scared.”

Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to say and he just pats Oikawa on his back. He knows Oikawa’s parents too. They basically grew up together and Oikawa’s parents see Iwaizumi as their second son probably, just like Iwaizumi’s parents see Oikawa as their second son. He knows Oikawa’s parents’ view on homosexuality, so he doesn’t tease him or assures him he’s overreacting.

“Whatever happens,” he says, “you still have me. And my family will always love you too, I guess. And of course Ushiwaka.”

Oikawa nods slowly. “Thank you, Iwa-chan...”

“You don’t want me to come with you?”

“Well, they’d immediately think you’re my boyfriend. No, I’m fine. Trust me, I had this argument with Ushiwaka too,” Oikawa assures him.

“Okay, I’ll go home then. Call me afterwards!”

Oikawa waits fifteen more minutes, until he goes into the living room, where his parents are sitting.

“Oh, did Hajime leave already?” his mother asks and Oikawa nods.

“Yes,” Oikawa says and sits down next to them. “Uh. Can we talk?”

“Is something up?” his father turns to him and Oikawa shrugs and then nods yet again.

“It seems serious! Our son is never serious, this has to be something big.” His mother nudges her husband at his side to turn off the TV, which he does. “Okay, Tooru. What’s on your mind?”

“I...” Oikawa looks down. He has practiced a fucking speech, but now he can’t get any words out of his mouth. For a moment he regrets turning down Iwaizumi’s and Ushijima’s offer. Having them by his side would make it easier, maybe, give him more strength to finally say it.

“Tooru, you can tell us anything,” his mother takes his hand. “Sweetie, what’s up?”

“I-,” Oikawa’s voice gives up again. “I don’t know how-”

“Tooru.” His father gets up and sits down on the other side of Oikawa. “What is it that bothers you so much?”

Oikawa forces himself to smile again. “I- god, why is this so hard? I practiced a speech. You know, how it goes. Mom, dad, I want to let you know that whatever happens, I am still your son and this doesn’t change anything. I hope you accept me, because I won’t change. That whole ordeal.”

“Tooru...,” his mother whispers, her eyes widening. “What are you trying to say?”

Oikawa looks down. “I’m... Well, I know you don’t like it and will probably not accept it that easily, but I just really hope you do, because it’s, well, part of me. God, that sounds so cliché!”

“Are you trying to tell us what I think you are?” his father asks.

“Probably. I’m gay,” Oikawa finally says.

“Oh.” His mother lets his hands go and his heart aches. He doesn’t dare to look up. He can’t look at his parents’ faces now, seeing how disappointed they are. Maybe even disgusted. He doesn’t want to see their disgust on their faces, Oikawa doubts he can deal with that.

“I’ve been for a while. I mean, what, no. Forever, actually.”

“I don’t understand,” his father says, “you had girlfriends.”

“I never liked any of them. I mean, it was expected of me, you know? And I’m popular. So, I just gave it a try, but I knew I never... liked girls.”

“Oh,” his mother just repeats. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“How can you like _men_?”

“I don’t know, mother, how can you? You’re married to one,” Oikawa blurts out.

“Don’t talk like that to her,” his father says with a strong and firm voice.

Oikawa looks down again. “I’m sorry. I just- I can’t change it.”

“What changed then?”

“Huh?” He looks to his father.

“You always knew, but never told us. What changed?”

Oikawa swallows. “Ushijima. I... Well, I’m dating him. His parents know too, I mean, I was even in America to get to know his father. Hell, I _live_ together with him. We’ve been dating for over eight months.”

“You live with him,” his father says. “You... _live_ with him.”

“Yes.”

“You _share a bed_ with him.”

“Well, obviously.”

“I liked him,” his mother says, “he was such a polite young man.” _Liked_. She doesn’t anymore.

“Mother-”

“Tooru, what did you expect?” his father asks. “That we’ll welcome you with open arms? That we will accept your lifestyle? It is wrong and you know it.”

Oikawa feels like crying, but he can’t. His heart aches and he just really wants to be gone now. “I just- I had to tell you. You’re my parents and... I can’t hide it forever.”

“I wish you would’ve.”

* * *

  


Oikawa told himself not to drink that much anymore. He’s an athlete, he shouldn’t drink anyway. And every time he drinks more than usual, he thinks back to that one time he was so drunk and started a fight with Ushijima.

But right now, he just really felt like getting drunk and just forgetting about everything.

His friends, at least the ones that are already twenty, are there with him at a club, it’s their last weekend before having to start attending classes again and life just sucks overall. Oikawa met the new setter, Miya Atsumu, who is way too good and he now fears for his position on the team. And then there were his parents, of course.

Who probably don’t even see him as their son anymore.

Part of him wishes, he just wouldn’t have said anything and kept his mouth shut, the other part just doesn’t care. Fuck them. There’s nothing wrong with being gay, they’re his parents for god’s sake! If they don’t accept it, there’s not really anything he can do. It’s not like Oikawa can be straight.

He wouldn’t want to anyway.

Ushijima looks over at him. He didn’t think it was a good idea to go clubbing, but Oikawa insisted. “Get me another drink, Ushiwaka,” Oikawa whines.

“You just drank three.”

“I want a fourth one.”

“Oikawa, you’re going to be drunk,” Misaki says. Her girlfriend is sitting next to her while sipping her cocktail.

“That’s the plan,” Oikawa says.

“Tooru, I don’t think this is a good idea,” his boyfriend says and Oikawa puts his hands on Ushijima’s shoulder.

“Ushiwaka, no offense, but your parents didn’t practically disown you when you came out to them. Dance with me, please?”

Ushijima sighs and nods slowly. He takes Oikawa’s hand, who then drags them to the dance floor. The alcohol is rushing into his blood, as he dances to the music. He tries to forget everything, just dance.

“Wakatoshi,” Oikawa says.

“Did you say something?” Ushijima shouts. It’s way too loud and there are just too many people. Oikawa throws his arms around his boyfriend and pulls him down.

“I’m glad to have you at least,” he tells him in his ear. They’re both sweating from the heat and dancing and he pulls him down for a passionate kiss. Ushijima kisses him back, pulls him closer by his waist and Oikawa moans into the kiss.

“You know,” he says, “we can also just go home.” He winks at Ushijima looks at him.

“Is this how you want to cope?”

“Yes.”

“Tooru-”

“You know what? Forget it.” Oikawa lets him go. “I don’t want to think tonight, okay? Later. But not now.”

* * *

  


When Oikawa wakes up, his head hurts. He finds himself in their bed with changed clothes and tries to think about what happened last night.

“Ushiwaka?” Oikawa shouts.

“I’m here.” Ushijima enters their bedroom with a glass of water, which Oikawa accepts gladly. He drinks all of it before handing it back to his boyfriend.

“Thank you.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Horrible.” Oikawa puts his head on Ushijima’s shoulder. “Did you change my clothes?”

“Yes.”

“You’re such a considerate boyfriend,” Oikawa says, smirking. “I didn’t do anything stupid last night, right? I didn’t say awful things to you, right?”

Ushijima eyes him. “Are you worried about that?”

“Of course I am! It almost ruined our friendship the last time! What do you think _why_ I stopped drinking that much?”

“You don’t need to worry, Tooru.” Ushijima gently pats his head. “You didn’t do anything bad last night.”

Oikawa nods and closes his eyes. “I just really needed to get my mind off all of this. My parents hate me.”

“They don’t hate you.”

“They do! How do you even know?”

“It’s impossible to hate you.”

Oikawa snorts. “Sorry to break it to you, but not everybody thinks I’m perfect like you do.”

“I know you’re not perfect,” Ushijima says. He cups Oikawa’s face.

“Ouch. Hurt me more, will you, Ushiwaka?”

Ushijima kisses his forehead. “Your sister called.”

“What did she say?”

“To call her back.”

“She probably found out about it.” Oikawa brings his knees towards his chest and hugs his legs. “I don’t want to.”

“She sounded very supportive, you should call her back.” Ushijima puts the phone on the bed. “Unless you don’t want to yet.”

Oikawa sighs. “Will you stay?”

“Always.”

“Oh god, you’re so sappy!” Oikawa groans and smiles. He takes the phone and dials his sister’s number. It takes a while, until Tatsu picks it up.

“Tooru?”

“Hey, Onee-chan.”

“God, it’s like 12 am, when the hell did you go to sleep last night?”

Oikawa shrugs. “I was sad, okay?”

“I can understand. Tooru, I just... mom and dad told me what happened.”

Mom and dad. Do they even want Oikawa to call them like that? “So, what’s your take on it?”

“I had a long talk with them. They’re stupid. They’re old people with an old mindset. But I’m your sister, I can’t believe you never told me.” She sighs. “I will always be there for you, okay? I support you. And Ushijima-san, he’s very nice. I am glad you’re together.”

Oikawa feels like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He looks over to Ushijima, smiling and takes his boyfriend’s hand, squeezing it. “Me too.”

“So, I have no idea if our parents will ever get over it, I’m sorry. I really am. But I love you, okay? Family doesn’t leave each other, I just hope they’ll understand that,” Tatsu continues.

“Thank you, Onee-chan.”

“And Takeru supports you too!” In the background, he hears his nephew shouting ‘Yes!’. Oikawa laughs. He can’t believe _Takeru_ out of all people supports him.

“Aw, that’s so nice of you.”

“Yeah, come over the next time you visit. And bring Ushijima-san! I want to meet my probably future brother in law!”

“Oh god, Tatsu!” Oikawa rolls his eyes, but laughs. His sister does too. He really is thankful to have such a good sister like her.

“Like, you have so many people, okay? Me, Hajime, Ushijima. We’re all there for you. If mom and dad are too stubborn, then it’s their loss. I have to go now, because Takeru wants to buy new gloves. He’s the goalkeeper on their soccer team! Anyway, I love you, and if you need something, just call me, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, Onee-chan. I love you too.” When he hangs up, he looks to Ushijima and smiles.

“That went better than I expected.”

“I’m glad,” his boyfriend says. Oikawa hugs him tightly and Ushijima hugs him back.

“Tatsu is right. I might not have my parents and yeah, it sucks. But I still have her and Iwa-chan. And most importantly, you. I don’t regret coming out,” Oikawa says. “I don’t want to hide us. Or myself. I’m sick of it.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Ushijima smiles and Oikawa kisses his cheek.

“I love you, Wakatoshi,” he says. “So, don’t you _dare_ leave me, okay?”

“I would never,” Ushijima assures him and kisses Oikawa. Oikawa kisses him back, but then pushes Ushijima away.

“You’re disgusting.”

“Why?”

“I was drunk and I have morning breath and reek of alcohol. How can you even kiss me?”

Ushijima shrugs. “I... love you?”

“That’s not love, that’s _disgusting_!” Oikawa laughs and shakes his head, hiding his face in Ushijima’s T-shirt. He feels tears forming at the corner of his eyes. “I’m thankful, but I also... I just want my parents to accept me. Is that too much to ask, Ushiwaka?”

“I know,” Ushijima says, hugging him. “And it isn’t.”

“If it’s _really_ bad, I’ll just have Iwa-chan’s family adopting me,” Oikawa jokes, “they don’t mind he’s bi and even love Tendou.”

“I can adopt you,” Ushijima says and Oikawa knows what he’s implying. He looks up and his cheeks redden.

“Stupid, Ushiwaka,” he murmurs. “I’m older than you. I’d have to adopt you. Do you not know how it works?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Ushijima says and Oikawa shakes his head.

“Please, I’m too young for marriage, it’s too early.” But Oikawa goes back to cuddling Ushijima and thinks that he really wouldn’t mind marrying him.

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok first of all. i wrote the iwaten fic. its short, like 5k but it directly conncets to BPD so if anyone... fell into this crack ship just like i did, pls check it out and read it [>here](http://wondertrevs.tumblr.com/post/148548118959/so-you-read-manga)
> 
> second of all, yes, i named his sister tatsu because i watched suicide squad and katana/tatsu yamashiro is my waifu
> 
> song is bohemian rhapsody. which is, well also bc of suicide squad. whoever knows me knows that i'm dc comics trash
> 
> and third of all, a side promo but i'm an admin of the   
> [ushioisquad ](ushioisquad.tumblr.com) on tumblr so like,.. *whispers* join us
> 
> and BOI one chapter left and i will HIT 100K can u believe


	38. Epilogue: I'll go get a ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oikawa,” Mika says, when she spots him. “You look great, but I’m not surprised.”
> 
> Oikawa laughs. “Aw, Mika-chan, you flatter me. So do you.”
> 
> She looks down at her dress and shrugs. “Of course I do.”
> 
> “Wedding of the year, huh?” He looks in the mirror, staring at himself in the light suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST CHAPTER CAN YOU BELIEVE *SOBS*  
> it's very short so

There were so many people, all of them dressed up for the special occasion. They were all staring at the location with wide eyes, talking about how beautiful it is. 

Oikawa has to agree. He’s a little bit proud of it himself, since he helped choosing. The place looked amazing, beautiful and white with golden accents.

Yes, he has to agree that it is probably the most beautiful wedding he’s ever seen. 

“Oikawa,” Mika says, when she spots him. “You look great, but I’m not surprised.”

Oikawa laughs. “Aw, Mika-chan, you flatter me. So do you.”

She looks down at her dress and shrugs. “Of course I do.”

“Wedding of the year, huh?” He looks in the mirror, staring at himself in the light suit. Mika stands next to him and flashes him a smile. She’s so small next to him and doesn’t really look much different from when they’ve first met, five years ago.

“Are you nervous?” she asks and Oikawa raises an eyebrow. 

“Why are you asking me that?”

“Come on, just answer me.”

“Of course not.” Oikawa raises the corner of his lips. “Are you?”

“Kinda,” she says. “It has to run smoothly. Do you know how much time I spent organizing this wedding?”

“Of course. I was there.” Mika laughs. “But… I mean, aren’t you nervous, because of Daishou?”

“Oikawa, I’ve known I wanted to marry Suguru for like five years,” she says. “I’m not getting cold feet. And if he gets any, Kuroo will be there to kick some sense into him.”

Oikawa grins. “You have to dance with me at least once.”

“Sure. I won’t dance with Bokuto, you can tell him that. He steps on my feet all the time,” she says. “Okay, where the hell is Misaki?”

“I’m here!” Her best friend enters the room. “It’s really full outside. I can’t believe you invited over thousand people.”

“Rich people,” Oikawa and Mika chirp in unison and then they giggle. 

“Okay, get out Oikawa, say hi to Ushiwaka for me,” Mika says and hushes him out of her room. Oikawa nods and leaves the room only to find Ushijima standing in front of the door.

“You could’ve come in,” Oikawa says and takes his boyfriend’s hand.

“I wasn’t sure,” he says and Oikawa sighs.

“She’s so sure,” Oikawa says. “I remember a few years ago I thought she’s a little bit… too sure. But well, she really is going to marry Sugu-chan.”

“He is very nervous,” Ushijima says.

“Really? Is he getting cold feet?”

“No. He’s afraid she will get cold feet. You know he’d never doubt his love for her,” Ushijima says and he looks Oikawa directly in the eyes, as if it’s not Daishou he’s talking about anymore.

Oikawa smiles and presses Ushijima against the wall. “You know,” Oikawa says. “Mika would never doubt her love for him either. And she doesn’t doubt his love for her, so it’s stupid he’s nervous.”

Their faces are only a few centimeters away from each other and Oikawa leans in for a kiss. “I don’t doubt mine for you,” Ushijima whispers against his lips before he kisses him.

“Yeah?”

“I used to. But I know you love me.”

“Wow, Ushiwaka, aren’t we smart today?” Oikawa teases and kisses him again, his hands on Ushijima’s tie. “But that’s good.” He steps on his tip toes again to plant a kiss on Ushijima’s cheek, when suddenly somebody grabs him from behind.

“Cut it out with the PDA, will you?” Kuroo jokes and pats on Oikawa’s back.

“Aw, are you jealous, Kuro-chan?”

“Yes. Very. Give me a kiss, Oikawa!” he jokes and Bokuto laughs. 

“He just hugged Daishou for like ten seconds, can you believe?” Bokuto asks. 

“I’m very emotional,” Kuroo defends himself. “Come on, let’s go. My husband is waiting for me.”

“Kenma isn’t your husband,” Oikawa says.

“Not yet,” Kuroo says, shrugging. “And we’ve practically been married since we were kids.”

“Oh, I remember a certain someone constantly crying about how Kenma doesn’t love him back. You know, first year of college?” Oikawa teases him and Kuroo scoffs.

“You hated Ushiwaka and then afterwards cried all the time about how he doesn’t love you and just dragged us all into your emotional roller coaster,” Kuroo says.

“Shut up. At least the roller coaster has only been going up ever since,” Oikawa snaps back.

“Oh my god,” Bokuto breathes out. “That was so cheesy.”

“Shit.” Kuroo laughs. “That sounds like something Ushiwaka would say.”

Oikawa blushes, but Ushijima takes his hand and squeezes it. “I hope the ride never ends.”

“Oh my god,” Kuroo and Bokuto shout in unison. “That’s disgusting. You’re not even the ones getting married!”

“I agree, that _was_ disgusting,” Oikawa says. “But I don’t mind.” He looks up to Ushijima and smiles. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (lyrics: marry you- bruno mars)  
> haha,,, sorry if you thought its an ushioi wedding i have to disappoint  
> tho mikashou (???) are so cute i love them 
> 
> /EDIT: shit sorry i wrote it in my notes and there was even a reason i included semi in a fic bc i wanted to show oikawa and him being friends in the epilogue but well i forgot it ... just know that theyre cool model friends now 
> 
> anyway, thank you for all the comments and kudos and everyone who ever @ me and told me they like my fic!!! you're all so good and nice and this was a wild ride. it's the longest fic i've ever published (holy fuck 100k!!!) i dont think i'll ever write another big ushioi monster like this one since ive never felt the need to write anything as much as a multi chaptered same college ushioi fic , but look out for one shots or shorter fics!!!
> 
> (btw if anyone wonders: why the fuck is this fic called "by popular demand". it has nothing to do with that title. yeah. it was basically. the fic..,, was by popular demand... by my own popular demand to see a very long ushioi fic that has mutual pining and a very slow burn. this fic is pretty much self indulgence)
> 
> anyway scream w me on tumblr if u want [@wondertrevs](redrobin.co.vu)
> 
> [PLUS LOOK AT THIS POST](http://wondertrevs.tumblr.com/post/148594567014/by-popular-demand-relationship-study) which basically is just, little snippets of the entire fic pushed together that show the development of their relationship


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